See, people who kidnapped Spider-man typically ran up against a problem, eventually- how do you keep him down?
The thing that far too many people know about Spider-man is that he heals fast. Like, really fast. Videos of him taking hits that kill a normal person are everywhere on the internet. Even when he gets hurt, hurt bad, he’s back in the suit within a week. He can take a hit and he can hit back. His well-documented super-strength quickly rends most restraints to shattered pieces. So how do you keep him off his game? How do you keep him?
There’s one thing that everyone needs- mutant, enhanced, basic bitch human- and that’s sleep.
It started, as so many things in Jessica Jones’ life, with a cheating scumbag of a husband. Cases like these were a dime a dozen, and almost always turned up the same result. No woman hires a P.I. if the relationship is perfect. Or even, you know, functional.
Jessica, for her part, probably should not be judging these people. She herself has managed to fuck up every hint of happiness that ever came her way. The best relationship she’s ever had was with her victim’s widow. Still, she judges.
I love when characters have an idea about them having a Role in a narrative. I love when characters view themselves as The Hero who needs to Fix Everything, even at the cost of their own life or health. I love when characters view themselves as villains, as two dimensional Things in a story and not a person who can change and grow. I love when characters view themselves as side characters without agency or personalities. I love when characters are Wrong about what their role in the narrative is. I love when the narrative actively acknowledges how much this can fuck a person up. I love when characters base their morals or world view off of fiction and view the world through that lens. I love when characters view themselves as fictional. I love when characters think the world operates off of fictional rules. I love when characters have Feelings about being fictional!!!
This was in my head all day at school.
matt spent so much time being worried that his relationship with foggy & karen put them in harms way when they were plenty capable of doing that for themselves. karen is out there getting kidnapped every other episode and foggy is running around in back alleys w a sign on his back that says “mug me” and starting fights with DA’s. neither of them think twice before stepping two feet first into the most dangerous situations possible and matt is off stressing that the armed robber he stopped five months ago will target them
now for something completely different
Tobey Maguire Spider-Man "it's a hard knock life" fancam hours
a coven of chaos indeed