Lostpimplepatch - Lost Pimple Patch

Jason and Tim have similar competence standards and end up swapping employees sometimes.

---

"Boss, I'm outta the game with this hip---"

"You're outta the beating-up-traffickers game. I got a guy who can get you into the scaring-the-rich game just fine."

"You mean, like...?" A fist into an open palm, quirked eyebrows.

"Nah, verbal intimidation only unless someone steps up to the plate. Mostly you got good eyes and this Wayne kid values having people around who can observe things that aren't spreadsheets."

"Hey, you said I did pretty good at that Excel thing!"

A pointed look.

"Ohhhh. I'm gonna get to learn spreadsheets and threaten people? Oh, man. Thanks, boss!"

"They've got the same insurance, too, so that'll roll over automatically."

---

Meanwhile, on Tim's end of things:

"I noticed that you tend to get impatient with slow results, that you're happy to yell at people for safety violations, and that your plan to remediate the company's incompetence in these areas involves 'firing every single one of them who can't get their head out of their ass.'" Tim smiled.

His employee smiled back. "I mean, that's why you hired me as safety supervisor, right?"

"Of course; your proactive attitude is one of the reasons we chose you. However, I also noticed that a lot of your frustration stems from employees whose work is being impacted by personal issues, often ones stemming from attacks by prominent local criminals."

"Listen, I'm from Minnesota. I know from cold. And I also know that you can't let a little hypothermia from Mr. Freeze screw up your numbers, especially not when those calculations impact lives." Squared shoulders, hands on the hips---yeah, definitely more of a cultural fit with Jason's organization.

Tim nodded and continued his pitch. "And you're competent with a firearm, correct?"

"Hey, I'm not about to go postal just because---"

"No, no, you misunderstand me. You're a skilled employee. I'm just wondering if you might benefit from transferring to a work environment in which you can shoot some of the people who are actually causing these problems."

"I'm sorry?"

"You have a dartboard with Leeds's face on it because he screwed up so many times after that Ivy incident put his kid in the hospital."

"...Okay, I admit that's not my best look."

"The organization I'm recommending you to has a printer next to the firing range; it's sized specifically for target paper."

"Oh."

"It's also an organization that works specifically to keep kids from needing to be in the hospital."

"Oh. You mean---" There was really only one group it could be.

"They need someone with your eye for logistics. Hood's work isn't 'legit,'" Tim made careful air quotes because the dorkiness tended to put people at ease, "but your insurance would roll over to them automatically. And you can rest assured that they take safety very seriously."

Vague spoilers for One Piece ep 968

Shanks volunteered to stay behind with Buggy instead of go to the final island with Roger cause Buggy was sick? To take care of him but also because he knows Buggy really wanted to go and Shanks being able to see it and not him would break him a little. So he stays back and nurses him??

Mind you this is post Buggy eating his devil fruit and they seem hella close so I call bullshit on Buggy’s story for why he hates Shanks.

This except like most polyglots they end up knowing certain words and phrases only in particular languages so they've created a weird new bat language. None of them know all of the languages mixed in there fluently. They hear words and understand them but they couldn't tell you which language that word is from.

multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:

tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?

damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?

duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something

jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!

dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am

steph in russian: who are we killing?

dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason: …. you motherfucker

cass signing: nice drawing

damian in chinese: thank you

dick yelling at bruce about something he did

jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?

tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think

jason: does bruce even know-

tim: no he doesn’t

I think instead of lame excuses like "Cass is away in Honk Kong" or "[x bat] is doing stuff from his team of heroes" or just ignoring Steph's existance altogether, it would be funny if fanfics took members of the Batfam out of comission by having them have their own fanfic-related cliché adventure

Like, a Jason-centered fic where he asks Alfred where is the replacement and Alfred just goes "oh, Master Timothy has just been possesed by himself from thee-years into the future and is away trying to prevent our horrible deaths" and that's it, Tim is having his own time-travelling fix-it fic in the background which is why he's not mentioned

Babs on a Babs-centric fic where she could really use some advice asking Bruce on comms where her Batgirls are and Bruce non-chalantly answers "Steph has been hit by a love potion and Cass has offered to help her to her apartment", Babs waits a moment and comments "oh... do we get the 'congrats on kissing' banner ready for tomorrow?", "no, I think it's a slow burn, give them a week" and the rest of the fic happens without them

Dick, entering a room and finding Duke "hey, is Damian acting weird this morning or what?" "I think he said something about being stuck on a time-loop until he learns the true meaning of christmas" "aren't we on july?" "Yeah I thought so too but when I asked he mentioned he had already gotten my help on two loops so I just left him be" "well I needed help with a case, you in?" and the rest of the fic is a Dick and Duke team-up

I'm trying to prove a point to my brain: Reblog if you think fanfiction does not need sex to be good.

There is a trend I’ve noticed that smut fics tend to be much more popular than anything else and honestly I just want to have something to look at to remind myself and that writing doesn’t have to have sex to be worth putting out into the community.

I just woke up and somehow the only thought in my head was Jason Todd as an Etsy witch but he only sells ‘violent spells’ and instead of doing spell work he just personally goes out and beats the shit out of whoever you choose

The way Jon mirrors Talia's pose.

Bruce and Tim’s autistic asses have never made eye contact with each other in their lives

Like an interviewer comments lightly on his habit of adopting kids with black hair and blue eyes and he says, absent-mindedly, “Tim doesn’t have blue eyes,” to which the interviewer answers, with great confusion, that he most certainly does, and Bruce suddenly realizes he has never once looked at Tim’s eyes without the domino on and had just sort of assumed they were brown, statistically

guys. please

Comphet? Personal growth? Writers being scared of gay conflict? Ig we'll never know

every time i read a scene w/ ariana and tim in it im like dang ariana you deserve a way better boyfriend