Epic! AU But... But It's Batman.

Epic! AU but... But it's Batman.

Batman is Ody, duh.

Either Selina or Talia is Penelope, take your pick. Personally prefer Talia, but make your cup of tea however you like it.

(Though Talia as Circe/ Calypso is also a solid win.)

Bruce's crew can be the Justice League... They all di--

The gods stay because they're canon in the DC universe.

Telemachus though? Oh... Oh... HAHAHAHA--

---

Siren: Come play with me and our daughters!

Bruce:

Bruce: My real wife knows I have only ONE DAUGHTER AND FIVE SONS--

---

Bruce, about to leave for war, holding all six of his smol children: I don't have enough hands...

---

The suitors (probably the rogues lets be fr): I heard the prince is on a diplomatic mission--

Other rogue: Which one?

First rogue: Uh... The small one.

Another suitor: There's like, two small ones.

Other rogue: And has anyone seen the princess???

Cass, who's been being trained in secret by Athena, watching them closely: •-•

---

Jason, pointing at a picture of Bruce: That b!tch is dead!

Bruce from the shadows:

Tim: No, he's not! I WENT ON A F%#&$% BOAT AND EVERYTHING JASON, DO YOU KNOW HOW SEA SICK I GOT!? I WENT AND SAW OTHER KINGS AND S%@&!!! HE'S ALIVE!!!

Dick: It's been twenty years--

Damian: Mother believes he's living.

Tim: Listen here, energy drinks haven't been invented yet and I am THIS CLOSE!

Duke: I'm with Tim. No way did he die.

Cass: He cannot die.

Jason: I'm so done with this family...

Dick: Shouldn't you be the first to believe in coming back from the dead?

Jason: Oh, I believe he's come back, but THEY'RE NOT ADMITTING HE DIED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

---

Bruce, to Talia: Will you fall in love with me again?

Talia, gently cupping his cheek:

Talia: You committed murder?

Bruce, with shame: Yes...

Talia: Bed. Now.

---

ALTERNATIVELY:

Bruce, to Selina: Will you fall in love with me again?

Selina, inhaling sharply: I've been waiting TWENTY YEARS, Bruce--

---

Bruce, back from war, trying to hold all of his grown children: I don't have enough hands...

---

BONUS:

Bruce: So, what have I missed?

Dick: Oh, uh...

Jason: I died and came back to life.

Tim: I have a boyfriend. He worships Dionysus.

Damian: I befriended the deceased Kent's youngest.

Duke: I don't need to answer that question.

Cass: Received training from your old mentor.

---

More Posts from M1y4-c0m and Others

2 months ago

people who don't experience hyperfixation don't know what it feels like to hyperfixate so much on something that it becomes not only your subject of obsession but also your source of happiness and literally the main reason why you still keep going; literal source of strength and life.

shoutout to my favorite fictional characters, favorite people, favorite ships, favorite movies, favorite tv shows, fanfics and archive of our own

3 months ago

Robins are weird about stairs.  And I think that’s a learned behavior.

(Also, I think Jason knows that his way is not effective in a fight.  But, I also think he wouldn’t be able to resist trolling the other Robins.)

Based of this scene:

Robins Are Weird About Stairs.  And I Think That’s A Learned Behavior.

All characters belong to DC Comics . Artwork by Meredith McClaren

1 month ago

Bruce:

Dick:

Dick: what do you have in mind old man, you’re scaring me

Bruce: Wally has children.

Dick:

Dick: I am perfectly aware of that-

Bruce: three kids. Almost old as you were when you started crime fighting.

Dick:

Bruce: I want grandchildren Dick. I want you married. Barry has grandchildren, Diana had grandchildren, Oliver fuckin’ Queen has grandchildren. I better have them before Jon Kent marry.

Dick: Jesus Christ…

1 year ago

Facts 😎

m1y4-c0m - Miyas Writer Room ❤️
3 months ago

I am still waiting, Hishe…

I Am Still Waiting, Hishe…

Kal: Bruce, there you are — what in the world?

Bruce: Hey Kal.

Kal: Who are all these kids?!

Bruce: My Bat Family. I’m a dad now.

Kal: Since when?!

Bruce: Since 1940. Try to keep up.

Kal: I thought it was just the one! Hi, Nightwing.

Dick: Hi Superman! Yeah, I have siblings now.

Kal: And how’s that working out?

Dick: Most of us have died at least once.

Kal: …What?

Bruce: Hey Kal, check it out. This one’s super smart, and we have matching coffee mugs.

Tim: :)

Bruce: This one…

Cass: …

Bruce: Actually, this one scares me. And this one glows in the dark! Heheh!

Duke: :D

Kal: I can see that…

Damian: Father, I’m hungry. When are we having dinner?

Bruce: How many criminals have you caught today?

Damian: *holds up three villains* Is this sufficient?

Bruce: Eh, it’s good enough. Here. *tosses him a tofu hotdog, like just the dog part* Keep working on it. Three more and you get the bun.

Kal: *horrified silence*

Dick: Hmph! When I was Robin, I could catch at least five criminals before dinner.

Tim: Oh my gosh, Dick, no one cares!

Jason: No one cares about anything in this stinkin’ family. Where were you all when I died, huh?!

Everyone: *groan*

Damian: Quit being such a drama queen, Todd! It’s not like losing your life is the end of the world!

Tim: Yeah!

Damian: You shut up. The only thing you’ve ever lost is your spleen.

Duke: And his parents.

Everyone except Damian: *parental trauma* AH!

Bruce: I told you never to mention that!

Kal: I can’t believe what I’m watching… Does Alfred know about this?!

Bruce: Yeah, totally, he’s cool with it.

Kal: *narrowing his eyes* I have a very hard time believing that.

Bruce: Well, he works for me, so shut up.

Kal: What about Catwoman?! Does Catwoman know about this?!

Bruce: *nervous* Um… well…

Damian: *suspicious* Who’s Catwoman?

Bruce: *very nervous* No one.

Dick: Oh, he is so dating Catwoman!

Tim: Why didn’t you tell us?!

Jason: What if we don’t want a step-mom, huh?!

Bruce: Woah, hold on now —

Duke: Look, you’re upsetting Batgirl!

Cass: …

Bruce: Alright, that’s enough! We’re not gonna talk about this anymore! Because —

Everyone: *annoyed* — you’re Batman!

Bruce: No! Because I said so! …And also, yes, because I’m Batman! Cause Batman says so!

Kal: *smirking* More like because you’re Bat-Dad.

Bruce: >:(

Kal: And hey, where’s Barbara? I thought she was Batgirl?

Bruce: *nervous* She was…

Kal: …Bruce, what did you do?

Dick: Oh, don’t worry, Superman, Barbara’s fine.

Kal: Oh, thank goodness.

Jason: She’s just paralysed from the waste down.

Kal: Bruce!

Bruce: It wasn’t my fault! She’s not even technicially my kid!

Kal: Bruce…

Bruce: Oh, don’t you “Bruce” me. I’ll “Bruce” you… “Bruce” you in the face.

Kal: Okay, that’s it, you are not allowed to find any more sidekicks starting right now!

Bruce: *holding up Harper* What about this one?

Kal: No!

Bruce: *holding up Spoiler* This one still has a parent — I can just be a mentor.

Kal: No!

Bruce: Well, gee, Kal, what am I supposed to do with all the orphans in Gotham, then, huh?!

Kal: Do you hear yourself right now?

Bruce: I have a system, Kal!

Kal: That’s it! There’s only way to solve this!

*Superman grabs Batman, and they fly off*

*Batman then appears on the couch in Therapist Spider-Man’s office from Across the Spider-Verse*

Therapist Spider-Man: Would you say you carry any trauma from your childhood?

Batman: *leans over* Do I have a story for you.

2 months ago

I hate having to make posts like this, but I also hate starving to death

My significant other and I have been trapped into another shitty household (cyclical abuse, yay!), and we have nowhere else we can go

(For context: this house is owned by my significant other’s mom(who we pay rent to), and we live with my s/o’s brother(who makes the house a huge mess that we are forced to clean up). Both are manipulative and abusive)

Neither of us can drive (yet, we’re working on getting some money together for a permit)

Neither of us have jobs yet (difficult to get hired when you’re disabled/have unreliable transportation)

We’ve run out of money paying bills, paying rent, and buying groceries for the house (which our roommate has helped himself to, so-)

We’re out of food (our roommate only buys groceries for himself, and helps himself to ours since WE don’t let people go hungry)

We’ve been rationing our food to try and make it last until one of us gets a job, but since only one of us has experience/isn’t disabled we can’t hold our breath.

This isn’t even including the emotional exhaustion of having to constantly be on guard since our roommate is a known liar and theif, and has taken things from our room. We asked permission to install a lock on our door, got the OK, and installed it.

But Now

My s/o’s mom has kicked up a huge fuss and demanded we give our housemate a key (in case the water heater stops working/a fuse is blown, etc.), completely defeating the purpose of the lock.

There was an agreement made before all this that our housemate has to prove he’s responsible enough to live here, and he was given three whole months to do so(he has until the end of June). He has so far trashed the house 4 times, and we have been forced to clean it up.

Bottom line

We need to be able to eat, afford a driver’s permit (& subsequently a driver’s license), and be able to get the hell out of here when the hammer finally drops

We have open commissions on @sighing-cypress, a Patreon, a ko-fi, and a PayPal @crushcapitalism

If you can’t commission/donate/etc. reblogs are appreciated! Likes just inflate the notes!

3 months ago

Hey everyone!! I’m curious, I tend to do tons of reposting (I’m shy and new here 😔) but I do have some original content that I’d like to share, although my designs are rooted in Gacha life 2 (I can’t draw so it’s the only way I can visualize them) would people be interested in them? Because I’d love a place to talk about them, though it’d suck talking to a brick wall lol 😅


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2 weeks ago

I do believe I would like to write Superbat fan fiction where the hell do I start chat 💔


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m1y4-c0m - Miyas Writer Room ❤️
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