Freddie : I Dropped 35 Pounds In Like A Month, Just By Cutting Out Beer.

Hades: Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family, they seem like nice people.

Hades: Persephone kissed me!!

Zeus: [gasp] No!

Poseidon: [squeals] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Hades: It’s unbelievable.

Poseidon: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Zeus: Okay okay, we wanna hear everything. Poseidon, get the wine and unplug the phone. Hades, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Hades: Oh it ends verrry well.

Poseidon: [rushing over with wine glasses] Don’t start without me! Don’t start without me!

Zeus: Alright, let’s hear about this kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips, or was it like a, y'know, “I gotta have you now” kinda thing?

Hades: Well, at first it was kinda of intense, y'know and then… oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it…

Zeus & Poseidon: [squealing] Awwwwwww!

(Scene changes to Persephone, Artemis, and Hecate casually eating pizza)

Persephone: And uh, and then I kissed him.

Artemis: Tongue?

Persephone: Yeah.

Hecate: Cool.

Persephone: Ah, Thanatos! I've been looking for you. Hades and I are expecting-

Thanatos: AAAAA BABIES?! OH MY GOD! I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TWO! I CANT WAIT TO WATCH THEM GROW! PLEASE CAN I NAME IT!!!!!???

Persephone: I was going to say a package but I’ll go tell Hades that.

Hades: I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime.

Lucifer: How many?

Hades: How many kids do I have again?

Apollo: deck the halls with boughs of holly

Hades: we don’t celebrate Christmas—

Dionysus: falalalala lalalala

Hades: guys, we’re the gods—

Hermes, yelling: FALALALALA LALALALA

Hades: guys is this really necessary—

Poseidon, screaming in Hades’s ear: FALALALALA LALALALA

Headcanons for how each of the Queen boys help Freddie with his panic attacks? From what I've read the poor guy had some bad ones

Brian gets Freddie to lie down on the floor, and then just lies on top of him. For some reason, Freddie finds Brian’s weight, and the feeling of being completely covered by him, calming and grounding instead of restricting. They will lie there like that until Brian is sure that Freddie is all right.

Roger drums on Freddie’s hands. Not literally, of course. He takes Freddie’s hands and lays them on his thighs and then gently taps out rhythms with his fingertips on the back of Freddie’s hands. The rhythms are always soothing. Sometimes he plays their songs, always the calm, quiet ones. Sometimes it’s something new. It gives Freddie something to focus on.

John sings. It takes a lot to get John to sing, but he will always sing for Freddie because he knows it calms the other man down. He will lean against Freddie, mouth to his ear, and sing softly. Sometimes it’s just notes, scales, lyric-less tunes; other times it’s slow, calming versions of their songs (Liar is oddly soothing when sung slow and low); later, their love songs. The repertoire grows larger over the years. Freddie goes limp, slowly, and leans back against John as he sings.

Roger: Deaky, the big question is, does Brian like you? Cause if he doesn’t like you then this is all a moo point.

John: A moo point?

Roger: You know, like a cow’s opinion. It doesn’t matter, it’s moo.

John: Have I been living with you too long, or did that just make sense?

Zeus: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry.

Hades: It’s not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me. And not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

The god of the underworld and the goddess of spring