Hades: I’ve Made A Lot Of Mistakes In My Lifetime.

John: I’ve been dropping him the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Brian: Wow. He sounds stupid.

John: But he’s not. He is really smart actually. Just dense.

Brian: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I like you!”

John: I guess you’re right…

John: Hey, Brian! I like you.

Brian: See? Just say that!

John: You can’t be fucking serious?

Brian: If that flies over his head then, sorry Deaky, but he is too dumb for you.

John: ...

john: rog, i need you to calm down-

roger: *slams fist on table* BUT HOW CAN IT BE ‘BIRTHDAY CAKE’ FLAVOR IF BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR 

therapist: and what do we say when someone upsets us?

hades: i’m going to send your soul to the fields of punishment for eternal torture?

therapist: no.

Hades: Dude, chill patience is a virtue

Ares: WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE? WHY CAN’T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?

Persephone: It's impossible to say the word "bubbles" and make it sound threatening.

Thanatos: ...

*15 minutes later*

Hades: Can someone tell me why Thanatos has been screaming "bubbles" angrily in his room for the past 15 minutes?

Poseidon: yes, I'm a douche. But I'm a high quality douche

Nikias: Romeo and Juliet is a love story, right?

Hades: Romeo and Juliet is NOT a love story. It is a tragedy about how young love is stupid and shortsighted.

Lucifer: Romeo and Juliet is indeed a tragedy, but the love between the two stars is not stupid or shortsighted - it is genuine and beautiful. The tragedy comes from the fact that the rivalry between the Capulets and the Montagues destabilizes their community and kills two innocent kids who loved each other.

Theo: Mercutio is gay.

Underworld social networks

Hades: tumblr. Never reblogs anything, but follows a lot of science blogs and entertains himself thinking how smart he is. His nickname is Hector.

Lucifer: Twitter. Strictly professional, only uses it for official communication.

Charon: goodreads. He doesn't really use it as a social network, but he needs to keep track of the books he has read.

Cerberus: no social network. (But there's a user in some porn webs called @BadassGuardian that just happens to like the same things as him).

Cain: he is that one troll in every social network ever. He also happens to follow a lot of fashion channels both in YouTube and instagram

Abel: he's that one guy who never logs off Steam.

Ambrosius: YouTube. He follows dance channels and tries to copy the choregrafies.

Akin: tumblr. He's in every Fandom. OTPs, shipping, crying when one of his OTPs becomes Canon... he is the ultimate fanboy.

Lea: instagram. Fashion, weapons and videos of herself training (and looking fabulous while doing it).

LO99 Thanksgiving part 3

Hecate: Happy Thanksgiving, sir. This year, I'm more thankful than ever to have you as my boss.

Hades: And I'm thankful for the low price of gasoline.

Thanatos: And I'm thankful for the friendship-

Hades: I think there's been a misunderstanding. There's no time for everyone to have a turn.

Thanatos: But I'm the only one that didn't get to-

Hades: Thanatos.