LO99 Thanksgiving Part 3

brian : has anyone seen freddie or roger?

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deaky : it’s 10 am. i’d be more worried if they were here.

Persephone: Ah, Thanatos! I've been looking for you. Hades and I are expecting-

Thanatos: AAAAA BABIES?! OH MY GOD! I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TWO! I CANT WAIT TO WATCH THEM GROW! PLEASE CAN I NAME IT!!!!!???

Persephone: I was going to say a package but I’ll go tell Hades that.

Life lessons I’ve learned from the men of Queen

Brian: It’s cool to be smart, to love math and science, to look up at the stars. Struggling with a mental illness doesn’t make you weak or unloveable. It’s cool to care about social issues, other people, animals, the planet. We all make mistakes; it’s how you move forward that matters.

John: It’s okay to be introverted, to be quiet, to only speak when you have something to say. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself if people don’t listen. It’s cool to be a homebody, to find joy in your partner and children. Love your friends fiercely, even if it hurts sometimes. It’s okay to grieve in your own way. Dance like no one is watching.

Freddie: It’s cool to be yourself, no matter who that is. Be kind, be a mentor, be a peacemaker, take others under your wing. You are never alone. If you have a dream, don’t give up: live it, breathe it, pour everything you have into it. Don’t settle for less than true love. Live without regrets.

Roger: It’s okay to be loud, to be fearless, to be outspoken about things that matter. Take risks. Make friends. Collect new experiences like souvenirs. Don’t let anyone dismiss your point of view. Protect those you love with your life. We only get so much time here on Earth; have fun with it. 

Zeus: i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again

Poseidon: I give it a week.

From “Soft Spoken Spells: Poems for Your Inner Witch” by Nichole McElhaney

Hades: Persephone kissed me!!

Zeus: [gasp] No!

Poseidon: [squeals] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Hades: It’s unbelievable.

Poseidon: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Zeus: Okay okay, we wanna hear everything. Poseidon, get the wine and unplug the phone. Hades, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Hades: Oh it ends verrry well.

Poseidon: [rushing over with wine glasses] Don’t start without me! Don’t start without me!

Zeus: Alright, let’s hear about this kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips, or was it like a, y'know, “I gotta have you now” kinda thing?

Hades: Well, at first it was kinda of intense, y'know and then… oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it…

Zeus & Poseidon: [squealing] Awwwwwww!

(Scene changes to Persephone, Artemis, and Hecate casually eating pizza)

Persephone: And uh, and then I kissed him.

Artemis: Tongue?

Persephone: Yeah.

Hecate: Cool.

Nikias: Romeo and Juliet is a love story, right?

Hades: Romeo and Juliet is NOT a love story. It is a tragedy about how young love is stupid and shortsighted.

Lucifer: Romeo and Juliet is indeed a tragedy, but the love between the two stars is not stupid or shortsighted - it is genuine and beautiful. The tragedy comes from the fact that the rivalry between the Capulets and the Montagues destabilizes their community and kills two innocent kids who loved each other.

Theo: Mercutio is gay.

poseidon, eating a jar of Nutella at 3 am, crying, after starting 53 arguments that very day: why can't we all just get along

Zeus: is the Chipotle past the strip club?

Poseidon: why is that your only point of reference?

Zeus: just answer the question