Zeus: Is The Chipotle Past The Strip Club?

hades: who's a good demonic guardian of hell? WHO'S a good demonic guardian of hell?

cerberus: ???????????????

hades: you are!

cerberus: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poseidon: your room smells of hookers

Zeus: and success

poseidon, eating a jar of Nutella at 3 am, crying, after starting 53 arguments that very day: why can't we all just get along

Hades: Persephone kissed me!!

Zeus: [gasp] No!

Poseidon: [squeals] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Hades: It’s unbelievable.

Poseidon: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Zeus: Okay okay, we wanna hear everything. Poseidon, get the wine and unplug the phone. Hades, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Hades: Oh it ends verrry well.

Poseidon: [rushing over with wine glasses] Don’t start without me! Don’t start without me!

Zeus: Alright, let’s hear about this kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips, or was it like a, y'know, “I gotta have you now” kinda thing?

Hades: Well, at first it was kinda of intense, y'know and then… oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it…

Zeus & Poseidon: [squealing] Awwwwwww!

(Scene changes to Persephone, Artemis, and Hecate casually eating pizza)

Persephone: And uh, and then I kissed him.

Artemis: Tongue?

Persephone: Yeah.

Hecate: Cool.

Thanatos fixes the broken copy machine.

Thanatos: There's something I'd like to show you, boss. “Thanatos. crushed. it." It works!

Hades: I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life.

Thanatos: I mean, I've collected a lot of souls for you.

Hades: And yet death has continued.

Hades: I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime.

Lucifer: How many?

Hades: How many kids do I have again?

Thanatos, texting Hades: Are we still on for today?

Hades: Yes. You don't need to text me this every morning.

Hades: We are still "on" for work every day, Monday-Sunday.

Ares: My mom called me a son of a bitch, so I slapped her because ain't nobody talking like that about my mom. Then I hit myself cause no one hits my mom Then my mom hit me

Via @kindofroger Instagram :

Freddie: we’re gonna do a few acoustic songs right now

Roger: whoo!

Freddie: go, do another one, they want it

Roger: WHHHOOOOOOOHOO!!!

Freddie: he’s the man of the group

Zeus: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry.

Hades: It’s not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me. And not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.