From “Soft Spoken Spells: Poems For Your Inner Witch” By Nichole McElhaney

roger : if the earth is flat, then explain why my life has been going downhill constantly.

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brian : no that’s not-

[Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker, Hades stands in front of the pot with his arms crossed]

Hades: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.

Persephone, quickly: I did. I broke it.

Hades: No. No you didn’t. Thanatos?

Thanatos: Don’t look at me. Look at Hecate.

Hecate: What?! I didn’t break it.

Thanatos: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Hecate: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.

Thanatos: Suspicious.

Hecate: No it’s not.

Hermes: If it matters, probably not, but Minthe was the last one to use it.

Minthe: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Hermes: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Minthe: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Hermes!

Persephone: Okay, let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it Hades.

Hades: No! Who broke it?!

Hecate, softly: Hades… Alecto’s been awfully quiet.

Alecto: REALLY?!

Hecate: Yeah, really!

Alecto: Oh my God!

[Everyone starts arguing]

Hades: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. *Looks back at the group with a smirk* Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Hades: ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE SHITS

Hades: Raven, not you, you’re an angel and we’re happy to have you here.

John + yellow  ✧  for @dalliscar

freddie : i dropped 35 pounds in like a month, just by cutting out beer.

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roger : giving up beer must have been hard.

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freddie : not really. i just replaced it with vodka.

Persephone: Honey, why are you making chocolate pudding at 4am?

Hades: Because I’ve lost control of my life.

Via @kindofroger Instagram :

Freddie: we’re gonna do a few acoustic songs right now

Roger: whoo!

Freddie: go, do another one, they want it

Roger: WHHHOOOOOOOHOO!!!

Freddie: he’s the man of the group

Cerberus: DAD DAD LOOK MOM GAVE US A FLOWER CROWN

Hades: That’s great but you know she’s not your mom right?

Cerberus: YAY OKAY DAD WHATEVER BY THE WAY MOM SAYS HI.

Dionysus when he was a demigod, entering Olympus like :

Zeus: is the Chipotle past the strip club?

Poseidon: why is that your only point of reference?

Zeus: just answer the question