Thanatos, At 3am: Wait, So If I'm Death, Capital D, And I Collect Souls, Will I Die Eventually?

“About 1969, I opened a stall in Kensington Market, which was one of the hippest places in London. I used to run it with this bloke, Freddie, who I knew because he regularly came to see Smile, the band Brian and I were in at the time. Me and Fred used to sell old Edwardian clothes and scarves that he picked up from various nefarious dealers. Back then, I didn’t really know him as a singer—he was just my mate. My crazy mate! If there was fun to be had, Freddie and I were usually involved.” - Roger Taylor 

freddie : it’s saint patrick’s day. the holiday of my people.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

brian : you’re not Irish.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

freddie : binge drinkers.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

roger, from across the room : aMEN!

Athena, explaining why Dionysus should drink water: Water solves all your problems! Wanna lose weight? Drink water! Clear skin? Drink water.

Ares, from across the room: Tired of someone? Drown them!

Greek Gods As Things I’ve Said

Zeus: I may be a whore, but I am a whore with power.

Hera: Denial and homicide- my two favorite coping mechanisms.

Hades: The fact that you all haven’t realized that I am probably going to be your landlord in hell is sad.

Poseidon: The ocean is full of plastic, just like the world is full of idiots.

Hestia: Ah, home. Mine constantly feels like it’s on fire, especially when it actually is on fire.

Demeter: Eat your goddamn grains you whore.

Aphrodite, screaming: JINGLE BALLS, YOUR DAD’S SMALL, I SUCKED DICK LAST NIGHT-

Ares: I’m not saying violence is the answer but if these math problems were people they’d be dead already.

Apollo: At least we have music and memes to dull the pain that is our existence.

Artemis: I don’t want your number you stupid male I want to hunt you down and end you in the woods because it contributes to the mood, now fuck off.

Dionysus: Wish I could just run off in the woods and rip people apart and get nasty.

Hermes: The future is meaningless but the thievery is now.

Hephaestus: If hitting it with a hammer doesn’t fix it, you’re not hitting it hard enough.

Athena: I have come to the conclusion that I will be alone simply for the fact that everybody else is fucking stupid.

Persephone: Fuck you mom, you make my life more like hell than actual hell.

art by canisalbus ( my edits )

Ares: My mom called me a son of a bitch, so I slapped her because ain't nobody talking like that about my mom. Then I hit myself cause no one hits my mom Then my mom hit me

Roger: People who are dating freak me out. They always know what the other one is-

Freddie: Thinking?

Roger: Yeah. And they’re always finishing each other’s-

Freddie: Sentences?

Roger: Exactly. It’s creepy.

Ares: trust no one in laser tag. No one.

Alternative responses to ''I love you''

Abraxas: Who doesn’t

Diao Chan: Thanks

Bahamut: I know

Tyr: *finger guns*

Byakko: A horrible decision, really

Uriel: *laughs nervously*

Chronos: why

Lucifer: I’m sorry

Hades: *laughs hysterically*