Chuuya: Dazai, I Said That I'm Sorry. I Shouldn't Have Been 5 Seconds Late To Our Date. Please Say Something.

Fukuzawa: And, as always, here's your weekly reminder that therapy and other psychiatric services are covered by the ada healthcare plan.

Dazai:

Dazai, whispering to Kunikida: Why does he always look at me when he says that?

Yosano: Hey, Dazai, who's your favorite singer or band?

Dazai: I don't really have one.

Yosano: Oh c'mon pretty boy, everyone has one.

Kunikida: It's propably arctic monkeys.

Dazai: Fine. If you really wanna know that bad...it's taylor swift.

Yosano: Who? Gotta speak up.

Dazai: Taylor Swift.

Ranpo: HAH, I KNEW IT! YOU ALL OWE ME FIVE BUCKS.

Dazai, trying to impress Chuuya: I'm great in sex. I've lost count how many times I've done it.

Chuuya:

Chuuya: Masturbation does not count as having sex.

Dazai: I am 100% straight.

Ranpo: Kunikida teaching Atsushi martial arts.

Dazai: I am 90% straight.

Yosano: Dostoevsky in the Dead Apple movie.

Dazai: I am 70% straight.

Ranpo: Sigma wearing his high heels.

Dazai: I am 50% straight.

Atsushi: The Hunting Dog that arrested you.

Dazai: I am 40% straight.

Dazai: Still straight, still doing okay.

Ranpo: Chuuya-

Dazai: I am not straight.

Dazai: I dare you to marry me.

Chuuya: No. I'm not falling for that idiot.

Dazai: Then I win.

Chuuya: What? No you don’t. I’ll marry the hell out of you. You’re officially my wife now. You can’t beat me like that.

Dazai: Now I'll arrange our security.

Atsushi: Why?

Dazai: The mission is dangerous and we're hot. The enemy will want us for our info and our boddies.

Atsushi: Our info maybe...

Dazai: Speak for yourself kitten...

Dazai: Now I'm calling the only man who can fuck me.

Atsushi: What???😨

Dazai, calling Chuuya: I mean, who can protect me...us...

Atsushi: Ugh. 🤦‍♂️

Chuuya, picking up: What now?

Dazai: Well hello my big dick chibi.

Chuuya: What

Atsushi: the

Chuuya: fuck

Atsushi: Dazai!

Dazai: Language everyone!

Dazai: I’m in love with you.

Chuuya, scoffing: Yeah, how many others have you said that to?

Dazai: Everyone.

Chuuya: …What?

Dazai: I told everyone I’m in love with you.

Dazai, pulling out an engagement ring: Got it a week after we first met.

Chuuya:

Chuuya, also pulling out a ring: Got it yesterday.

Chuuya: If we were together every day, all day, if we slept together, if we woke up together and if we ate together what would we be?

Dazai: A master and his dog?

Chuuya:

Chuuya: NO.

Chuuya: Isn't the idea supposed to be "you saved my life, now I owe you a debt?" Dazai: Nope. Other way round. You saved my life, so now I'm your problem. If you don't like it, then kill me. Dazai: God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.