Bsd Incorrect Quotes - Blog Posts

I NEED THIS TO BE CANON THIS IS SO FUNNY

headcanon atsushi’s ability the tiger does not know what to do when it likes someone

like in general atsushi is bad with knowing what to do with the ppl he likes and showing affection – like he tries to mimic others but he himself is still working on something that feels natural if that makes sense

but the tiger

the tiger is far worse becuz the only positive thing it can associate with positive emotions is food so every time it gets closer to the full moon the tiger starts whispering in the back of his mind that he should eat dazai and kunikida

then kyouka and junichiro

and ranpo and yosano and fukuzawa and kenji and naomi and haruno

at first atsushi panics (naturally) worries he’s a cannibal, thinks the tiger hates the agency, panics more, especially after dead apple when he and the tiger gained an understanding of each other and he realized that the tiger was protecting him so he’s like why r u trying to kill the agency members

but gradually he realizes that actually the tiger just doesn’t know how to deal with positive emotions and yeah

anyway:

atsushi: dazai-san is so nice to me :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: we should eat him

atsushi: NO????

//

kunikida, patting atsushi’s head: good job on ur report atsushi

the tiger: use his arm against him and eat him

kunikida: atsushi u look weird are u feeling unwell

atsushi: hahaha dont worry about no weird thoughts here hahahaha

//

atsushi, literally just working:

the tiger: the small candy one eats a lot of sugar. he would taste sweet. Eat him.

atsushi: NO??????????????

ranpo, looking up: i’ve actually always wondered what i would taste like-

//

and so on

is this incredibly dumb? yes but is it also funny, yes

atsushi realizes he likes akutagawa because at some point when he spots him the tiger immediately starts wondering what he’d taste like

atsushi, sees akutagawa: oh there’s that basta-

the tiger: i bet he’d taste really nice

atsushi:

atsushi: oh 

atsushi: oh no

//

akutagawa: how did you figure out you liked me?

atsushi: i couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d taste like

akutagawa, blushing: oh-

atsushi: yeah it was insane how much the tiger wanted to kill and eat u

akutagawa, slightly confused and horrified: oh-

//

eventually as atsushi learns to deal with his feelings so does the tiger but unfortunately it’s still an animal so its more like

atsushi: dazai’s so nice :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: lets hunt a deer for him 

atsushi: no??????????????

//

kunikida, petting atsushi’s hair: good job on the job atsushi

atsushi, not thinking about what he’s saying: kunikida i like u so much should i kill a bear for u?

kunikida, slightly confused, slightly flattered: uhh no???????

//

atsushi, at the store: lemme just get something for kyouka-

the tiger: we shall hunt until we find something suitabl-

atsushi: no.

//

atsushi: im sorry i transformed last night, snuck out of ur place, hunted down a goose, broke back in, left it in the living room table, and then climbed on top of u, still a tiger, and then fell asleep and only transformed back now, after u had to use rashomon to get tiger me off u 

akutagawa, dead tired: yeah i don’t know what the appropriate response is but ur cleaning the bloo-

akutagawa: wait wtf do u mean theres a dead goose in the living room

atsushi: do u not like goose :(

akutagawa: that is NOT the issue here

//

yeah

I live for mori x Soukoku 😭

Mori dealing with Soukoku be like

Mori: What? They say insane shit all the time. How was I supposed to know this one was true?

Dazai: Bank accounts are a scam created by the shadow government.

Chuuya: In order to control our finances and feed them to the dragons.

Mori: See!

Dazai: *Flips a coin* Heads you kiss me, tails we make out.

Chuuya: *Makes coin float away*

Dazai:

Dazai: Alright, we’re fucking.

Hey guys it's been a while, no I'm am not dead, I've just been having a slow down in my art journey lately. I'm unfortunately not here to post art today either but I do have something entertaining for you! Remember that time when I got so bored I ended up generateing random incorrect quotes for skk? Well here are some more of the funny stuff I got!

Since you guys seemed to like the incorrect quote thing and my college AU a lot, I decided to combine the two this time. Here's the funniest stuff i gathered.

I was boread out of my mind yesterday so I decided to put Dazai and Chuuya's names into an incorrect quote generator. Here's the funniest stuff I gathered.

Poe: How the hell did you crash the car?! Ranpo: So I was just driving today, right? And my navigation told me to go straight. Ranpo: I was like "woah, that's homophobic". Instead, I went gay. And, THAT'S when I got into an accident. Poe: ... Dazai, with a proud smile: And THAT'S who I'm in love with, ladies and gentlemen.

CRIED

Chuuya: We need background music for our alzheimer's presentation. Dazai: Don't worry, I've got this. The day of the presentation: Chuuya: Okay, let's do this. *clicks start* *somebody that I used to know starts playing*

giggled

Hirotsu: can I be frank with you two?

15 Chuuya: I don’t know how changing your name is going to help us here but sure.

15 Dazai: can I still be Dazai?

15 Chuuya: shh, let Frank speak.

Bsd incorrect quotes

Dazai: Hey Atsushi I bet I can predict what is going to happen with you and Akutagawa

Atsushi: *snorts* okay what

Dazai: he comes in and throws a bag of meat buns at you saying eat something Jinko

Atsushi: *shakes head* not going to happen

[Lunch time]

Atsushi: I knew-

Akutagawa: EAT SOMETHING JINKO *Throws a fresh bag of meat buns at Atsushi then leaves*

Atsushi: staring in disbelief

Kyouka: Eat them

If Atsushi gets transferred

Akutagawa: Jinko, it’s 4am why on earth are you making Chakuze?

Atsushi: Because I’ve lost control over my life.

Higuchi: I sleep with a gun under my pillow. Gin: I sleep with a knife. Dazai: You two are pathetic. Gin: Oh, yeah? What do you sleep with? Dazai: Chuuya

Fukuzawa: *holding Ranpo* This is Ranpo. He is intelligent for his age. He doesn’t get along with others but I love him dearly.

Mori: *holding Chuuya* This is Chuuya. He is more behaved than Dazai. I lost Dazai. I don’t know where he went. I think he set a house on fire.

Mori: I think there is something between the two of you.

Chuuya: A knife?

Dazai: A gun?

Mori: Sexual tension.

Sigma: So you were born on April first?

Nikolai: That’s right! April Fool’s Day no less! Probably explains why I’m such a silly guy!

Sigma: I’m starting to think you being born on that day, was the world playing the biggest joke.

Sigma: Why are you like this?!

Nikolai: *Setting up corpses like a child having a tea party* Sigma. We’ve been partners for three years.

Ango: The horrible things you do are starting to make me believe you are the spawn of the devil, Dazai.

Dazai: I mean there was that time I got itchy near a crucifix…

Ango:….

Oda: That was when you had bed bugs.

Sigma: *drops a cookie* Fuck me…

Nikolai: *pops head through portal* On it!

Sigma: *screams*

Nikolai: You know I’m best at magic in bed~

Fyodor: *excited*

*ten minutes later*

Nikolai: *cuts open a corpse* Is this your card?

Fyodor: This is not what I was expecting on Valentine’s Day!

Atsushi: Akutagawa! I got you some chocolates! I thought you would like them.

Akutagawa: I don’t want chocolates from you! *throws them in the river*

Atsushi: I could have had them!

Akutagawa: *looking at the chocolates then back at him*

Atsushi: You did want those, didn’t you?

Akutagawa: *nods*

Fyodor: I have been meaning to talk to you alone, Nikolai.

Nikolai: That’s great! I’ve been meaning to have a chat alone with you too!

Sigma: *walks by* Keep it in your pants, both of you!

Ranpo: There’s this cafe that’s been selling a special limited time cake. But every time I get there, it’s sold out.

Poe: Don’t worry Ranpo. I bought the cafe for you. Now you can have that cake on demand any time you want!

Ranpo:

Dazai: Thanks for the Valentine’s Day gift Chuuya!

Chuuya: I didn’t give you shit!

Dazai: What’s this then? *holds up knife*

Chuuya: I stabbed you! Why did you take it out!?

Dazai: Oh you Casanova you.

Chuuya: You’re delusional from blood loss or something!?

Dazai: Wow, you’re so short. You want me to put a few inches in you, slug?

Chuuya: How is half an inch gonna help me?

*Chuuya holding injured Dazai in his arms*

Dazai: How sweet. The princess was saved by a dwarf in a stupid hat.

Chuuya: *Drops Dazai into the harbor* Oh no I dropped the princess.

Poe: I had a nightmare that I murdered you and stuffed your body under the floorboards. Then I began to descend into madness as I began hearing the sound of your heartbeat growing louder and louder with each second!

Ranpo: You idiot. Why would you stuff a body under the floorboards?

(Happy birthday Poe)

Sigma: Nikolai you are a very talented individual. You seem to bring laughter to others that are not your victims. So if you ever plan on finding a new job that isn’t for killing, I would gladly hire you.

Nikolai: So are we fucking or not?

Sigma: What?

Nikolai: ARE WE DOING THE SEX OR NOT!?

Sigma: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Dazai: *Flips a coin* Heads you kiss me, tails we make out.

Chuuya: *Makes coin float away*

Dazai:

Dazai: Alright, we’re fucking.

*Dead Apple*

Dazai: It’s not gonna suck itself, you know.

Chuuya: That’s it! I’m taking my chances fighting my own ability!

Dazai: I’m sorry. Who are you again?

Verlaine: Your future brother-in-law

Chuuya: The fuck you are!