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Bsd Dark Era - Blog Posts
Hi everyone! :D After rereading the BSD novels I noticed a rather interesting pattern and came up with a fun idea!
How about a new impossible drinking game? Take a shot every time you notice Asagiri describing Dazai in the edgiest way possible when you're reading the light novels.
Sounds not so bad at first, however... Well, take a look yourself and have fun:
"I look at the young man. He is just staring at the ceiling. No emotions, no intents. Just a flat expression, like one who is just telling his age. I cannot believe my own eyes. I don’t even feel like there is a human there. If it was late night instead of a refreshing early morning, I would think that he was a ghost or a hallucination".
"His eyes remind me of a burnt black cat, his build reminds me of a burnt black cat, his presence reminds me of a burnt black cat. He has a tone that sinks into the abyss of the spirit, and deep, dark eyes that seem to hold the conviction that the sun will never rise again. He is a man of few words. And his voice has the sound of severance that rejects mutual understanding from the very beginning. No one could understand him. No one ever will. And he himself knows that very well. That kind of voice".
"When Dazai finally says so, his eyes look different from those of any human being. And those of any living things. Those are wounds. A pair of open wounds on his face, from which darkness is peeping out".
"Dazai’s face when he says that reminds me of the end of a culvert, or a black wall at the end of the road that leaves you no way to go".
"Dazai looks at me. Those eyes are like the bottomless see at night. Dark, cruel, quiet, endlessly sucking people in and never letting go".
"Dazai looks down at the opponent. Even people who look at the pebbles on the riverbank would show more interest than that".
"Dazai’s gaze towards Hirotsu turns dark instantly, as though representative of the gravity of his next words. If it were any ordinary person being stared at, they would be seized by nightmares for the next few days. Dazai’s eyes foretell the impending blood and violence about to come".
"I look at Dazai. There is something invisible within that can’t be seen with the naked eye, like a breeding ground for spirits that will raze everything to the ground".
"I look at Dazai intently. Although we have known each other for very long, this is the first time Dazai has spoken about himself. One can see something as sharp as a giant fishhook piercing and gnawing into Dazai’s life".
"“No.” I say. “I don’t think so. At the beginning, I thought you and Dazai were very similar, unable to see the value of your life, hoping for death, hence jumping into a world of violence and fighting. But that’s not the case. That guy is just a child who’s too smart. Just a crying child who’s been left alone in the darkness, a world of nothingness far emptier than the world we can see”".
""I know. There's a certain anxiety, anxiety about whether the previous boss's assassination was leaked". Dazai's expression was still unreadable. It was quiet as a freezing lake".
"The boy's gaze quietly penetrated Mori. Like a medical device that looked through the human body".
"The doctor and boy exchanged a silent gaze for a while. The Shinigami and the Devil seemed to glare at each other as the room filled with their spirit. In Mori's head, a word that he didn't know flickered many times and echoed like an alarm".
"The nightmarish thoughts Dazai sometimes showed through his observing eye was like an unprecedented, frozen eagle in the mafia's demonic nest".
"His expression returned to his usual Dazai thing. It was a gray expression that wasn't interested in any concept".
"I’m not a person with an excellent observation skill. But even so, just by looking at those eyes, I understand a few things right away. He probably has killed before. Not one or two digits. Hundreds of people. When you have killed that many people, you will reach the other side of the mentality that ordinary humans can possess, beyond the other shore where neither light nor gravity can reach. The spirit of those who have reached that state will be seen first in their eyes, then in their mouth. Their eyeballs become black holes, and the muscles around their mouth become organs to show the depth of their sin, not their facial expressions".
"I ask again. There is no answer. I don’t even know if he is listening. Because the light in his eyes show no reactions to my question. No matter how cold-hearted a person is, if you look at him in the eyes and throw words at him, you can still see some kind of responses. But this young man does not have any of that. Just black eyes looking at where my figure is".
"There is no heart here. Just a heart-shaped emptiness".
"He doesn’t reply. Those eyes are filled with a quiet emptiness. From that, I assume that he is listening. Because if he is deaf, there should be a reasonable amount of confusion and signs of claiming that he cannot hear".
"I say, my words echoing in the emptiness and dropping into the corner of the room, in the middle of nowhere".
"Dazai is standing in the corridor of the bunker, where it is completely dark. The distance between him and Odasaku is more than ten meters. Because of the darkness and the distance, Odasaku and the other guy cannot see Dazai. In fact, they wouldn’t even notice Dazai if he came within an arm’s reach. That is how much Dazai has melt into a dense shadow and become one with the darkness himself".
"Seeing that violence doesn’t even make his eyes move. His eyes are as still as those of a dead man, not showing the slightest flicker of emotion".
"Dazai has become one with the darkness. That is why no one is able to find Dazai".
"There is only darkness. As if no one was there from the beginning. It’s as if darkness has taken the form of Dazai, and has finally turned back to the original darkness and disappeared".
"The voice is intimidating, assertive, and filled with raw danger like a bleeding wound. It is high-pitched as that of a young boy, but it lacks the human-like characteristics a young boy should have".
"The cop can feel cold sweat squirting from his whole body. This young man is not lying. It shows in his eyes. That this young man is only seeing him as a fly in his kitchen".
"The cop’s body trembles in fear. This is the fear of pain, the fear of his imagination. But the most frightening of all is the young man in front of him, the king of the Pain land, the one who creates pains and controls pains".
"When Dazai finally opens his mouth after a long pause, that voice completely lacks emotions. No mockery, no cruelty, not even a carnivorous smile, nothing. A complete hollow".
"“You really don’t listen to others.” There is nothing left in Dazai’s voice, not even the ruthlessness. There is nothing in there. Not even a sign of someone holding a gun, nor talking to a human being".
"Suddenly, I feel like someone who got lost in the freezing cold weather at the top of a mountain, with only his underwear on. Having nothing to cover for myself, nor a way to escape. Far beyond the pale darkness, a mysterious monster is waiting to tear me into pieces".
"That voice had the dignity of a king and the mercy of the devil at the same time".
"When he saw that cold look heavier than a hundred eloquent words, Atsushi tensed his back".
"From the main office you could see the sunset of the city. In the middle of the room, Dazai was sitting alone at the desk with his arms crossed. He had a thin smile on his lips, and in his only visible eye the light darkness of the world".
"Because in the depths of his eyes lay a jet-black darkness deeper than any of the nights found at the disposal site".
"Dazai’s expression didn’t change whatsoever, and he spoke in a gritty voice devoid of any emotions".
"“It’s simple.” Dazai smiled faintly. His voice was low, as if it were the sound of a growl in a nightmare".
"Dazai smiled after he said that. It was like you could hear the sound of his broken soul with that smile".
"Dazai smiled and held out his hand to help me stand up. He saw through everything with the eyes of a sage, seeming to stare at a place that wasn’t anywhere on Earth".
And etc.
*reads all this through*
*tries to proceed the information properly*
*inhales*
GODDAMIT, ASAGIRI. WE GOT IT.
Sleepy little goober (～﹃～)~zZ
Mini collab with @1konhaaa
They drew Chuuya and I drew Dazai <3
An Analysis of Dazai's Reactions to Death
Disclaimer: I haven't actually finished reading the manga yet so all information in this post is taken solely from the light novel and anime.
Spoiler alert: This post contains spoilers from 15, Storm Bringer, Dark Era and the anime of BSD
Warning: This post is about Dazai so naturally it contains mentions of su*cide and death.
This is my first analysis of BSD, so please be kind. That said, any constructive feedback is welcome. If you have any further questions about my perspective, please feel free to ask!
Then without further ado...
Bungo Stray Dogs written by Kafka Asagiri and illustrated by Sango Harukawa is a multimedia series which explores the complex nature of the human mind through its characters. One such character, Dazai Osamu, inspired by the 20th century Japanese novelist of the same name and his well-known work No Longer Human, is a character known for his eccentric behaviour and fascination with suicide. Often times his behaviour may come off as bizarre on first sight and one might think it is purely for comic relief. This essay aims to explain the reason behind his strange reaction to the sight of the murdered woman in episode five season one of the anime, or this scene.
This screenshot was taken from timestamp 6:27 of Season one episode 5 of Bungo Stray Dogs.
This will be done by exploring first Dazai’s reaction to death between the ages of 15 and 18 or during Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen and Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era, second by exploring the fact that Dazai is aware that he is different to other people, and finally by exploring the way he deals with this difference and with strong emotions during the present of Bungo Stray Dogs or at the age of 22.
Dazai’s reaction to death was unusual to say the least when he was the age of 15 and it continue to be so at the age of 18. There are three main instances where the audience watches Dazai react to death at these ages. In consecutive order from Dazai’s perspective—rather than the order they were published—is first, during the seventh light novel, Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen just after the fight before Dazai and Chuuya go to meet Randou. This scene takes place from page 53 to 54 of the English version of the light novel. There are several unusual points during this scene. But first it should be made clear that the audience has no real way of knowing what kind of experiences Dazai had been exposed to in his early life which could have a bearing on why he behaves this way at this age. There are plenty of theories but at the time of writing this Asagiri had not revealed what Dazai’s early life was like. Now, back to the point at hand. First it is unusual that a boy of 15 when faced with a dying man would ask him if he would like him to ‘end your suffering with this gun,’ (p. 53) however this may be disregarded considering that Dazai although not a part of the mafia seems to have been with Mori for some time at this point. What is more strange however is what Dazai says next ‘…But you’re showing me something extremely valuable—your death—so I want to pay you back,’ (p. 53). He then proceeds to repeatedly shoot the dead body while laughing. This could be chalked back to some sort of love for seeing others in pain if it wasn’t for what Dazai said before. He states that he sees the man’s death as valuable. There is no way of knowing how often Dazai had been exposed to death before but the fact that he views it as valuable suggests that at this point perhaps he had not been desensitized to it. Viewing death as valuable though is, decidedly, an unusual perspective for a 15-year-old boy to take.
The second time Dazai experiences death is also in the same light novel when Randou passes away. Those who have read Storm Bringer will know that’s not precisely what happens but at this point there is no evidence to show that Dazai has any idea Randou isn’t really dead and so it will be treated as another experience of death. There is a marked difference in Dazai’s behaviour in this instance compared to the one highlighted above. This scene takes place in Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen on pages 118 and 119 of the English version. Whether this difference in behaviour is to be attributed to the fact that Dazai probably knew Randou to some degree or to the fact that Chuuya had earlier highlighted to him the fact that his behaviour in the earlier scene was abnormal is up to interpretation. However, while his behaviour is more normal than before it is still rather unusual. During this scene Dazai seems more aware of the sensitive nature of what is happening because he asks Randou if he has any last words and continues by saying, ‘…If you have any final wishes, we’ll see what we can do to—’ (p. 118). This shows that he is sensitive to what’s happening and that it requires a certain type of behaviour, but it is still rather unusual given that this man is dying because of Dazai’s doing and the fact that Randou was trying to kill the former and Chuuya a few moments ago. Additionally, after Randou explains about what happened between himself and Verlaine before Verlaine betrayed him Dazai goes off on a tangent about the ‘inevitable destruction’ caused by ‘a fight between two skilled spies’ (p. 118). While Asagiri may have chosen to have Dazai say this in order to make it more clear to the reader why Randou tried to absorb Arahabaki, it is still a strange thing to do at somebody’s death bed. This being said, it is clear that Dazai is a lot more respectful at Randou’s death than he was at the G.S.S. officer’s death in the scene highlighted before as Asagiri states, ‘Both Chuuya and Dazai quietly listened as if there was something in what Randou was saying that they couldn’t allow themselves to miss,’ (p. 119). While it is possible Dazai is simply imitating Chuuya’s behaviour here in order to seem more normal it seems more likely that Dazai knows how to react better to the death of a person he knows and this idea is reinforced by his reaction to Odasaku’s death in Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era, which will be explored shortly. It is clear, however that Dazai is affected by Randou’s death in some way when the novel states ‘Some things, however, would not return to normal: the body of a man who no longer felt cold, and the hearts of the two boys who stood rooted to the spot, staring at him,’ (p. 119). This shows that Dazai is affected by death, but he seems to interpret it and deal with it in unusual ways.
The final example of when Dazai experiences death takes place three years later during the second light novel, Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era, when Dazai is 18 years old. At this point he has been in the mafia for three years, so he has probably experienced death quite a bit between now and when he was 15, however this is the death of the person who is probably the only one who ever understood Dazai—with the exception perhaps of Chuuya—and who cared for him in a way which was arguably like a father. This scene takes place from page 159 to 161 of the English version of the light novel. This scene is arguably the most interesting in terms of Dazai experiencing death for several reasons. One of those reasons is that while the scene deals with Dazai’s emotions, it does not deal with his reaction to Odasaku’s death but rather with his reaction to what Odasaku says, which causes a dramatic shift in his world view and which, as any reader will know, ultimately causes Dazai to leave the mafia and strive to become a better person. While the scene does start by dealing with Dazai’s reaction to Odasaku’s death the majority of the middle of the scene is spent on Dazai’s reaction to what Odasaku says to him before returning to his reaction to his death. The scene begins with Dazai rushing into the room, calling Odasaku’s name. This is pretty normal behaviour for anime and manga characters on seeing someone close to them dying. But Dazai then proceeds to say, ‘You’re such an idiot, Odasaku. The biggest idiot I know,’ (p. 160). That is arguably an unusual thing to tell your friend on his death bed, but compared to other things Dazai has done it’s not that abnormal. The scene continues with Dazai saying that Odasaku didn’t have to die. Which is standard behaviour. Then Odasaku says he wants to tell Dazai something. He proceeds with his statement about Dazai stating that he’s looking for his reason to live in the mafia and telling him that he won’t find it. The scene then proceeds to explore the idea that Dazai has finally realised how well Odasaku knows him. The rest of this scene is spent exploring this idea as well as Odasaku’s advice to Dazai. It only actually returns to Dazai’s reaction to Odasaku’s death at the end. By stating ‘Dropping to his knees by Odasaku’s side, Dazai looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes. His tightly shut lips faintly trembled. The smoke from the cigarette rose straight up to the top. Nobody said a word,’ (p. 161). The strangest thing about this scene is arguably, that Dazai doesn’t cry. It’s possible that he was holding back tears, based on this description but the fact that it is only implied and left up to the readers interpretation suggests that Asagiri didn’t want to explicitly state that Dazai was crying. In the anime version of this scene as can below there is no hint of Dazai’s eyes being shinier than they usually are when he has lights in his eyes.
This screen shot was taken from time stamp 21:33 of episode 4 of season 2 of Bungo Stray Dogs.
After that the scene zooms out so that Dazai doesn’t have a face as can be seen here.
This screen shot was taken from time stamp 21:38 of episode four of season two of the anime.
This suggests that the decision to not show if Dazai was crying was deliberate. Given how much Odasaku means to Dazai, and that he had just realised how well Odasaku understood him it seems unusual that he would not cry.
The combined evidence of these three scenes suggests that Dazai behaves rather unusually in regard to death but that he seems to process it more normally when the person is closer to him than when it’s a stranger, where his behaviour is decidedly strange. Regardless of his closeness to the person however, evidence would suggest that the way Dazai deals with death is different to other people to a greater or lesser degree.
Now, how does all this have a baring on Dazai’s behaviour many years later in episode 5 season 1 of Bungo Stray Dogs? It has a baring on it if one accepts the fact that Dazai is aware that his behaviour towards death is rather strange to other people. It is never explicitly stated that Dazai is aware of this, however based on his behaviour it is clear that Dazai knows he is different to other people. This is highlighted in a particular instance in the seventh light novel. This scene takes place in Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen on pages 53 to 54 of the English version. In this scene Chuuya stops Dazai from repeatedly shooting the dead body of the G.S.S. soldier. The scene commences with, “‘Quit that, you idiot […] He’s already dead,’ said Chuuya, ‘Quit shooting his corpse,’” (pp. 53-54). However, it is Dazai’s response to Chuuya’s statement which shows that he knows his reaction is unusual. Dazai responds with ‘You’re right. When you’re right, you’re right. That’s the most normal reaction to have,’ (p. 54). Then as he walks away from the body after dropping the pistol he laughs. This is the scene as it’s written, “‘Ha-ha. ‘Normal.’ Ha-ha-ha.’ Dazai’s hollow laughter filled the cluster of trees, vanishing into thin air,” (p. 54). The fact that Dazai reacts by stating that what Chuuya says is normal and the way he laughs about it shows that he knows that he is not normal. If the idea that Dazai knows he is not normal is extrapolated, then it is implied that he also knows that his behaviour towards death is abnormal. If it is taken into account that Dazai realises his behaviour, particularly around death is odd it makes sense that as an adult he would want to hide that.
All of the above scenes took place when Dazai was still a teenager. However, it seems that even as a young adult he doesn’t know how to behave around emotionally charged situations. This is shown in episode one of Bungo Stray Dogs where Atsushi and Dazai are in the warehouse waiting for the tiger to show up. During this scene Atsushi is amazed by Dazai’s confidence and he states ‘You’re really confident, I’m kind of jealous. They called me a good-for-nothing at the orphanage. And now I don’t know where I’ll sleep tonight or whether I’ll be able to earn my keep tomorrow. […] No one’d care if someone like me were to die in a ditch somewhere. Yeah, I may be better off eaten by a tiger…’ this happens at 13:30-13:57 of episode 1 of season 1 of Bungo Stray Dogs. To Atsushi’s statement Dazai does not reply. He is silent for a beat with a neutral expression as shown here.
This screenshot is taken from timestamp 13:58 of episode 1 season 1 of Bungo Stray Dogs.
He then proceeds to state that he thinks the tiger will come soon. This is an unusual reaction given what Atsushi just said, and it would make more sense for him to comfort the boy. But he doesn’t. This is arguably because Dazai doesn’t know how to react in what would be considered a normal way in an emotional situation like this. If he doesn’t know how to react normally here it is unlikely he knows how to react normally to death. Now, it has been made clear above that he recognises his behaviour as abnormal, and it is likely that since his instinctive reaction is abnormal, he is unable to fake a normal reaction as he doesn’t know what this would be. Hence his unusual reaction in episode five season one. He reacts with such melodrama because he knows that his instinctive reaction isn’t normal, but he doesn’t know what a normal reaction would be, and he can’t just not react either thus he opts for this melodramatic reaction which, although isn’t normal still shows a rather dramatised version of sadness at the woman’s death which is perhaps more normal than what his instinctive reaction would be. And although the others at the scene who don’t know him are rather confused at his reaction it attracts less attention than if he were to react in a similar vein to his reaction to the G.S.S. officer’s death.
To conclude Dazai’s melodramatic reaction to the murdered woman in episode 5 season 1 of Bungo Stray Dogs it not just comic relief, there is a deeper meaning behind his eccentricities. He reacts this way because he is self-aware enough to know that his instinctive reaction to death is unusual and in order to not shock other people at his behaviour, he opts for the melodramatic response he gives since while still unusual it is more similar to the way a normal person might react being a rather melodramatic version of it.
i hold your head deep in my arms // dazai & ango sickfic drabble
originally posted on 7th jun 2024
warning for non-graphic vomiting
read on ao3! / 928 words
———————————————————————
dazai is sixteen, slumped over the toilet in the cramped bathroom of bar lupin. the light above his head flickers in a seemingly random way; combined with how much whiskey he had, it makes for an unsettling, almost ethereal experience.
his throat and nose burn. he’s barely eaten today, but his stomach is keen on removing every last drop of alcohol until he’s shivering and barely able to hold himself up.
his body crumples against the bathroom wall as if his head were a massive paperweight, barely having the sense to wipe his mouth with a clammy hand.
he thinks he’ll just fall asleep here. the poor soul tasked with closing the bar will find him eventually. kick him out. then he’ll stumble home, alone.
at first he thinks he’s hallucinating when a warm hand presses into his upper back, too drunk to tell left from right.
“are you done?” comes a quiet, hesitant voice. ango, dazai registers. ango has seen him like this before, only once or twice, though. he later explained that oda thought ango to be more of a comforting presence, so he’d always send ango to check on dazai instead.
dazai shrugs, unmoving. his eyes are shut, his breaths coming in soft pants.
ango frowns. he opens his mouth to say something else when, of course, dazai gags again. ango’s arm darts out to redirect dazai’s head back over to the toilet, the rest of his body soon following suit.
he throws up again. and again.
ango’s whole arm wraps around dazai’s smaller body, mostly to hold him upright, but also for an attempt at comfort. he doesn’t say anything. his own body is starting to droop sideways, as holding someone else up while tipsy is far from easy. ango only turns his head away and waits.
soon, there’s a break in the retching, and ango glances over again. he finds dazai trembling now, white-knuckling the edges of the toilet, saliva dripping from his lips. ango’s heart nearly stops.
he looks so tiny.
his hand moves on some instinct, brushing dazai’s dark, unkempt hair out of his face. he can’t read dazai’s expression thanks to the bandage over his eye, but he can guess at it.
and then dazai heaves again.
ango clicks his tongue, maneuvers himself so he can better hold dazai, then stops as he hears something else. a high-pitched, quiet sound that ango could have easily mistaken for a rat. his chest twists again.
dazai is only dry-heaving now, but he still looks to be in pain with every movement. his trembling is only worsening. then, just as ango brings a hand to his back, he hears dazai murmuring. “no more...”
ango had vowed to stay silent, not wanting to upset a drunk higher-up, but his mouth moves before his brain can catch up.
“it’s alright,” he mumbles. the hand on dazai’s back rubs in tiny circles. “you’re almost done.”
“it hurts...” dazai trails off into another weak gag. it sounds like he can’t get a deep breath in.
ango’s stomach drops as dazai progressively becomes more pathetic. he’s seen him be ill, but he’s also seen him laugh it off afterwards before promptly heading home for the night. ango didn’t even think dazai had it in him to be so… pitiful. his heart genuinely twists at the sight.
“i… i know it hurts.” a rather stupid thing to say, ango thinks, but whatever. “try and breathe for a moment.”
it takes him a few tries, but dazai slowly starts to calm down. he can hardly pull his head out of the toilet before immediately sagging against ango with his entire weight.
it’s warm. dazai can’t help but loosely wrap his arms around ango’s waist, burying his face into his chest.
oddly enough, ango had never really thought about dazai’s age too much. he was a mafia member and friends with oda somehow, and that’s what mattered to him. he didn’t need to know any more than that.
yet now, with slow arms coming to hold dazai’s shivering, thin, cold body, ango truly understands. this is a child.
“i’m here,” ango murmurs, holding dazai against him. he wants to warm him up at least a little bit before they leave.
—
dazai’s memory of this is fuzzy in the first place, but he can really hardly remember what happened afterwards. he thinks ango took him home that night, unsatisfied with letting him wander back to his shipping container alone.
the one thing he does remember is how it felt to share a bed with ango. the way dazai curled up against ango’s chest, ango’s warm, soothing hand in his hair. how warm dazai felt.
now, dazai is twenty-two. his phone buzzes for the fifth time in ten minutes; he knows it’s kunikida. he’s late for work.
dazai pulls his head out of the toilet bowl, leaning back against the wall with shaky limbs. his stomach is screaming at him.
in his delirium, he mistakes atsushi’s number for kunikida’s and punches out a short message, then tosses his phone aside.
he can’t walk. he knows he’ll throw up again, so he might as well stay in the bathroom. it isn’t like he’s planning to do anything else today.
he blinks wearily, eyes heavy with exhaustion as he stares at the tile. and just as he shuts his eyes, he hears that low, gentle voice.
it’s alright.
dazai smiles a little. he grabs a towel from the floor, wraps himself in it and curls up on the tile. he’s warm from fever.
i’m here.
Some style experimentations with The man
I really, really hate when people say that Dazai doesn't care about Akutagawa and that he never did.
Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying that what Dazai did to him was right, nor that it was justified. He treated him awfully, he abused him, and I'm not trying to insinuate that his treatment was fair, or that his motives excuse the actions. But what I am trying to say is that the motivation behind it wasn't cruelty, both in the past and present.
For starters, this is the interaction when they first met, from the short story The Heartless Cur:
He told him right off the bat that he wouldn't be treating him well. He never forced Akutagawa into anything, and even offered to give him and his sister enough money to live the rest of their lives content, never to hear from him again. But he told Akutagawa he might be able to give him a reason to live-something the boy had been lacking his whole life. By giving him a "master" as the short story says, someone to look up to and follow. Again, the way he was treated was brutal, but Dazai's intentions weren't evil.
Now, I don't want to do a "Dumbledore said calmly" meme, BUT... check out the difference between this scene in the anime vs this scene in the Dark Era light novel (apologies if the audio sync got a little messed up)
Dazai sounds frustrated, like Akutagawa isn't worth the breath it takes to speak of him. But vs the light novel...
Yeah. Pretty different. This scene came after the one where Dazai punched and shot Akutagawa for killing the soldiers, forcing Akutagawa to learn to use his ability in a way he never had before. And then now- "Dazai grinned from ear to ear" - that sounds a lot like he's proud rather than ashamed. He clearly does think Akutagawa is powerful (as Atsushi says later on, Dazai acknowledged him long ago). And then he admits that he truly feels he could be powerful, and that Akutagawa would destroy himself had he not stepped in to train him.
Now. This doesn't make what he did right, and we see from Beast how Akutagawa might have turned out if someone like Oda had been the one to find him and take care of him. But the fact of the matter is, Dazai believed he was doing this for Akutagawa's own good. And this was the world he lived in; Dazai was incapable of treating someone like Akutagawa well in the place he was in mentally. He saw his own darkness in him, and therefore, couldn't treat him the same way he could Odasaku and Ango. But he did care for him, and more importantly, he wanted to help him learn to stop killing.
Which brings us to the present.
Dazai's actions towards Akutagawa, especially at the beginning of the series, are of a different nature than they were in the past. He doesn't hit him, but he riles him up. Tells him Atsushi is better than him with the intent that he'd go after him brutally. Hangs up on him, makes him desire Dazai's approval, essentially manipulating him in both the finales of season two and three, as well as in season five. And this is for one reason that is expressed in beast: he believes that Akutagawa and Atsushi would work extremely well together, but that they'd need to fight in order for their souls to truly connect and for that trust to be built up. Dazai admits that he'd been considering them as duo since the moment he met Atsushi-which proves he never forgot about Akutagawa, or even considered him second rate in terms of power. But he felt that he needed to push Akutagawa in order for the two of them to connect, putting both of them in danger, yes, because he knows that the two of them possess strengths that balance the other out, both in literal attacks and in their philosophies. Which is why he looked so happy at the end of season three when Atsushi tells him about the deal with Akutagawa not killing for six months. Atsushi was able to reach out to Akutagawa in a way Dazai never believed himself capable, even if he had to manipulate both subordinates to achieve it. And again, this isn't to say that Dazai is right for using the both of them like that, or treating Akutagawa like dirt in order to force a relationship with Atsushi. But it wasn't down of out malice or apathy, that Dazai never truly cared for him and only for Atsushi. Because if that were true, he wouldn't bother to have them work together the way he did. It also comes down to the fact that Dazai himself grew as a person since he met Akutagawa. And this is most evident in the finale of season two, when he puts his hand on Akutagawa's shoulders, smiles genuinely and says "you have become strong." Only after does Akutagawa temper his anger and desire to kill to work with Atsushi to protect the city, Dazai calls him strong in more ways than one. Because all he ever wanted for Akutagawa was, in a way, what Odasaku and the rest of the agency was telling him in beast: to control the raging beast inside of him before it consumes him.
This isn't to say that the abuse was justified. That it was ok for Dazai to insult him and use him in order to achieve his goals. But I really hate when people say that Dazai never cared for Akutagawa, because at the end of the day, it's not true. And that's what really hurts the most about abuse-most of the time, it's done out of love than malice.
I wanna talk about Odasaku for a second, and his character arc in Dark Era
I love Odasaku, and one of the things I love about him is that he's not just there to be the friend Dazai loved and lost, he's a really deep character who grows over the course of the Dark Era novel, and he learns how to speak up.
I feel like his arc is mitigated in the anime, and I'm not going to be blaming it necessarily, it's just that a book written in first person POV is able to achieve a lot more depth to the MC over the anime , which is forced in nature to take a more third person, observational take to the character.
Dark Era spoilers, obviously.
The first thing I would like to bring up is Oda's personality, and for that, I'm actually going to start this analysis off with using a quote from Beast, of all things, because this was honestly the best description of Odasaku ever.
The best way to describe Odasaku's personality is obliviously perceptive. He's really smart, and somehow a complete airhead at the same time. When you read either Dark Era or The Day I Picked Up Dazai, you can sense this in an instant. How this pertains to his relationship to Dazai in particular is that he sees things. He knows that Dazai is hurting deeply, he's one of the only people who sees past the dark exterior and the child deep within, but at the beginning of the book, he won't say anything. He puts Dazai on this pedestal in a sense, and doesn't believe that his input is warranted, and he says nothing, even when Dazai is a walking cry for help. After listening to Dazai casually admit to a suicide attempt via banging his head against a hard tofu block without batting an eye, that's when Ango arrives and tells him off.
However, the conversation quickly shifts, and the matter isn't brought up again.
The next time someone tells Odasaku to speak up when he's summoned to Mori's office, and is greeted with a rather...bizarre scene. Still, he's a low-grunt of the Mafia, and Mori is the boss, so he lets whatever stuff is going on fly, until he eventually interrupts, ignores whatever was going on, and announces his presence. Which prompts the following conversation:
Still, it's apparent he doesn't take these words to heart, and continues to perceive almost everything, but never comments. However, something soon happens which brings to the surface just how deeply ingrained Oda's reticence truly is.
After Oda was chased by the enemy snipers, most of them had enough holes in them never to rise again. Until one picks up a gun and aims it at Dazai, the enemy executive, all other backup too far away to offer any aid. Instead of trying to avoid it or stop it, Dazai walks right up to the enemy and says , paraphrased "shoot me, please shoot me." The whole time, Odasaku's desperation is palpable, and unlike the anime, he attempts to stop Dazai from this blatant self-destruction by calling his name and then screaming it, thinking that he felt they were a million miles apart. After the ordeal, when Dazai faces his friend again, he offers all his excuses, how he knew the sniper would miss, but Odasaku wasn't satisfied. And this is where we get the first hint at how Oda really feels about this:
He wants to say something. He wants to punch him for the stunt Dazai just pulled, because he sees the truth. He sees the child inside of him. But once again, he's restrained by the apparent gap between them in rank and mind. Another important thing to note is that throughout the novel, Odasaku considers their difference in rank a bigger barrier than Dazai does. He makes comments about Dazai helping him, the low runt in the Mafia, but the executive doesn't care. Here once again, Oda is inhibited by this apparent gap between them, but this scene is also growth for him in the sense that he understands that there's a problem here. Earlier, he passively listened to Dazai speak of suicide, but faced with a barely disguised attempt, with the true demons inside of Dazai's mind, he wants to stop him, to reach out, to tell him that it's not ok. But he can't. Not yet at least.
After a later incident, we're given a flat-out description of Odasaku's philosophy, and why he chooses to remain silent. When the two of them are at the restaurant, discussing the enemy, and when Dazai realizes they might actually be a formidable opponent, he laughs, elated with the notion that perhaps he might be beaten. And that's when we get perhaps the clearest look into Odasaku's mindset:
There's a lot to unpack in this interaction: first, we see how much Odasaku truly cares for Dazai, how much he wishes he could rid his heart of the darkness buried deep inside. But the problem is, he believes he can't. He doesn't think he could do anything, at first, he's not sure what to say to him because what could he say? He doesn't think he can reach him. And then the all important line "What we see is everything, and everything we see, we ignore. All we can do is stand before the deep ditch between us and others and keep silent." The thing is, not everyone sees everything. He doesn't realize this. He's so oblivious, he can't even comprehend that he's more perceptive than others, almost like Ranpo when he was younger. He doesn't know what to do with the information he receives but to ignore it, as he says, to see the distance and remain silent through it. But still, he makes a halfhearted attempt to reach out, but is interrupted when Dazai's phone rings, and doesn't bring it up again.
The biggest turning point is the kids and Gide. Gide, who drags Odasaku, a character who seemed to have the healthiest will to live, into the darkness. By removing all his hope, his proof that he could one day write a novel and give up killing forever, he brings Oda down into the pit of despair that he lives in, the pit that Dazai lives in. Where the sun won't shine again, and all that's left is revenge and then death. This is where the tables turn, and now Dazai is trying to save Odasaku from that darkness that he knows all too well. He tells him useless platitudes, cliches that must have been uttered to him over and over that he knows won't work, but Dazai is desperate to save the one he's on the verge of losing. But Odasaku won't let himself be consoled, and he goes on the suicide mission to fight Gide. And only now, now that he's about to die, now that he's in this place of solitude and despair, that he reflects on Dazai and their relationship.
It's only at the end does Odasaku wish he would have said something. When he understands the darkness, he sees Dazai for what he truly is - a lonely, sobbing child. And it's only after this realization that he should have invaded the solitude does he speak up when Dazai arrives, and tells him to be a good man. Because he realizes that the darkness is going to overwhelm him unless something changes, and with his dying breaths, Odasaku gives over the advice that changed his life, not a way out of the darkness, but a way to brighten it just a little, and make living a little more beautiful. Something only he could understand, having tried to walk that path for himself. It can't be that it never occurred to him earlier that Dazai's mental health may have benefited from a...change in vocation, but he never thought it was his business to say anything before. But now that the darkness has consumed him, that's the final push for him to finally say something and reach out to his friend at the last moment before it was too late.
And though I don't think the anime did all of this justice, the parallels between these moments will always kill me.
“Hey, so Dazai is actually a very well written character that was abused and only knew that for a very long time, but he's genuinely trying to get better, no matter how hard you deny it, he's truly trying to be a better person! He's an abuser but was an an abused, and not acknowledging his trauma isn't cool!”
Dazai's hater : NAUUUURRR ‼️‼️ H-H-H-H-H-H-E ABUSED MY BABY AKUTAGAWA ‼️‼️‼️‼️
That is actually very disgusting, tbh. Not acknowledging Dazai's trauma just to paint him as the bad guy and painting Aku as the good guy, ignoring he also abused Kyoka.
Dazai is not the greatest guy, it's true. And his actions are obvi bad. And I'm not justifying his actions. I'm saying as it was : HE WAS A GODDAMN CHILD. He was also trapped in an abuse web. He's not the only abuser. Mori is, then comes Dazai, and finally Akutagawa. Only counting Dazai as the bad guy is down right disgusting. He's TRYING his best. You can dislike him. You can hate him. But denying his trauma is not something that should be done. It's disgusting. It's inhuman.
Ango: The horrible things you do are starting to make me believe you are the spawn of the devil, Dazai.
Dazai: I mean there was that time I got itchy near a crucifix…
Ango:….
Oda: That was when you had bed bugs.
Dazai X Would've could've, should've (Taylor Swift)
If you would've blinked then I would've
Looked away at the first glance.
If you tasted poison, you could've
Spit me out at the first chance
If I was some paint, did it splatter
On a promising grown man?
And if I was a child, did it matter
If you got to wash your hands?
And if you never saved me from boredom
I could've gone on as I was
But, Lord, you made me feel important
And then you tried to erase us
And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven
And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts
Memories feel like weapons
And now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering
God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be
The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind
I regret you all the time
I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep
The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign
I regret you all the time
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my childhood (girlhood), it was mine first
I regret you all the time
I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep
The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign
I regret you all the time
(ps: NO I am NOT implying any sexual abuse done by Mori to Dazai or anyone else. This is purely about the emotional and mental abuse Dazai went through as a child by being in the Port Mafia under Mori's mentorship. It is clear, him being in the Mafia really messed up his already mentally ill brain. Mori as a doctor should be held responsible for what happened to Dazai and so many other Port Mafia kids, regardless if they worked consensually or not, kids should be protected in all situations from both physical and mental turmoil.
Ofc the original intention of the song by Taylor and what it meant for her and the things she went through is very different, but as a song itself we can interpret certain parts of it in different ways. I do not think the two situations are any similar but it is only an artistic way of looking at these lyrics to convey a difficult subject matter)
*after Dazai left PM*
Mori: hello, Dazai-kun, this is just too much. Come back to your job RIGHT NOW
Dazai: I am sorry! The old Dazai can't come to the phone right now
Mori: why???!!
Dazai: why?
Dazai: oh.....cuz he's dead. *cuts the phone*
Mori: why is the little menace so dramatic?
Mori: I guess he will come back when he is out of money and hungry...
Ps: he never came back
I made my friend finally watch BSD and she just got to Oda's death scene
That took the will out of her
She sent me a hundred messages about how bad she felt about him dying
And out of guilt I told her to watch BSD wan
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I can't wait for her to suffer even more just like I did 😈🤫
Dazai, slamming his glass: why doesn't he love me, dammit!
Oda: maybe you should calm down a little; following him around and spying on him would come off as creepy to him.
Ango, massaging his temples: I have no idea how you haven't gotten arrested for spying!
Dazai: maybe because we are fucking criminals that work in the Mafia, Ango? I don't think Chuuya would report ME to the police of all people....
Oda: what if he reports you to the boss?
Dazai: the boss is the one who gave me the idea of spying on Chuuya to get his attention! He has been helping me all along!
Oda:......
Ango: that sounds like him.
*Meanwhile*
Chuuya: that idiot mackerel has been following me around for a week! Can you stop him?
Mori: interesting, have you thought of giving in and going out with him?
Chuuya: of course no----wait a minute! THAT'S your question? Shouldn't you stop that crazy ass behaviour?
Mori: I have decided to send you two on a joint mission to Hawaii....for a month.
Chuuya: huh? What will we do there? Have a honeymoon?
Mori:....
Chuuya: NOOOOO
*1:00 Am, Lupin Bar, Dark Era*
Dazai: are blind dates made for blind people?~
Oda:.......*stare*
Ango: of course not, Dazai. You know that already! It's for people who meet up without seeing or knowing each other
Dazai: is a group date considered an orgy?~
Oda:........*stare*
Ango: WTF. No. Why are you asking that? How much have you drunk?
Dazai: what about host clubs, are they a front for prosti---
Ango:-----not another word. What is wrong with you kid?
Oda:.........*stare*
Dazai: I thought I could ask you for romantic advice and some knowledge on the adult world~
Ango: these are not questions about romantic advice. Why are you asking us about it? And Oda are you gonna say anything or are you too drunk to?
Oda, dozing off:........
Dazai: I asked you two because you two are dating, right! Who else would I ask, except a couple in love~
Ango: WE ARE NOT DATING
Oda, opening his eyes:.........*stare*
Ango, massaging his temples: Oda don't stare at me like that and Dazai for the love of God stop laughing!!!!!
I have a headcanon that Kunikida ounce ran into Port Mafia Skk when he was in highschool. He saw them commit extortion or some illegal shit but he couldn't understand what they were trying to do (he thought they were doing a student film). And Dazai and Chuuya decided they can't let a witness roam free so they try to intimidate Kunikida.
Chuuya, holding bullets: where do you think you are going brat?
Dazai, pointing a gun at Kunikida: my my you look like you are in a hurry, not for long~
Kunikida, raises his hands: okay, this is getting too in character, I won't interrupt your shoot. Let me go.
Chuuya: what are you talking about? The only thing we will shoot is YOU
Kunikida: hey, hey....what is a little kid like you doing with bullets!
Chuuya: WHO THE FUCK YOU CALLED A LITTLE KID, BITCH?
Dazai: calm down, Chuuya. He's not wrong
Chuuya: wipe that smug smile off your stupid face, Shithead
Dazai: I think you need a timeout Chuuya. You are being very naughty today!
*Kunikida watching them having arguments*
Kunikida: hey, guys. Please let me go. I have class in two minutes, it's my final year, I have entrance exams to study for
Chuuya: wait...you go to school?
Kunikida:....yes?
Dazai: how is it like?
Kunikida: it's good for me, since I am the student council president and the top student but for most people it's terrible
Dazai: I wonder what it's like, to go to a normal school...
Kunikida: who doesn't go to a school?
*Chuuya and Dazai have a discussion between themselves*
Chuuya: we are letting you go on one condition, you won't tell what happened here to any one.
Kunikida: I don't even know what's happening here but sure, I won't open my mouth. Can I go? I am late!
Dazai: enjoy the freedom my friend, as long as you can
Kunikida, on his way to school: what the fuck just happened
They all forget what happened that day because of more important things that came next. But one day Kunikida witnesses Dazai and Chuuya having an argument and he gets deja vu, as if he has heard those same things before......
(most of the characters didn't have a normal childhood and that will forever haunt me~)
oda’s descriptions of dazai in the dark era light novel are so devastating
“Dazai’s expression as he placed a finger on his forehead and approached the enemy—that of a child about to burst into tears—remained burned into my eyes.”
“‘He’s sharp-witted with a mind like a steel trap. And he’s just a child—a sobbing child abandoned in the darkness of a world far emptier than the one we’re seeing.’”
he just saw him as a child who yearned to be saved
Learned a bit more editing and decided to test it out! (These are rough translations!)
Here are some more of my favorite djs pages! Back to BSD for now!
Added a few more pages than usual. It's Friday! Have fun!
If you have a couple you want to see, let me know. I may have it!
Djs Name:Strange Renatus
Created by:Amane Amaya
TW// BLOOD
“ Writer’s block again, Odasaku?”
