It Doesn't Matter How Smart He Was - Blog Posts

Dazai X Would've could've, should've (Taylor Swift)

If you would've blinked then I would've

Looked away at the first glance.

If you tasted poison, you could've

Spit me out at the first chance

If I was some paint, did it splatter

On a promising grown man?

And if I was a child, did it matter

If you got to wash your hands?

And if you never saved me from boredom

I could've gone on as I was

But, Lord, you made me feel important

And then you tried to erase us

And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven

And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts

Memories feel like weapons

And now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering

God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be

The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind

I regret you all the time

I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep

The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign

I regret you all the time

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?

Years of tearing down our banners, you and I

Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts

Give me back my childhood (girlhood), it was mine first

I regret you all the time

I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep

The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign

I regret you all the time

(ps: NO I am NOT implying any sexual abuse done by Mori to Dazai or anyone else. This is purely about the emotional and mental abuse Dazai went through as a child by being in the Port Mafia under Mori's mentorship. It is clear, him being in the Mafia really messed up his already mentally ill brain. Mori as a doctor should be held responsible for what happened to Dazai and so many other Port Mafia kids, regardless if they worked consensually or not, kids should be protected in all situations from both physical and mental turmoil.

Ofc the original intention of the song by Taylor and what it meant for her and the things she went through is very different, but as a song itself we can interpret certain parts of it in different ways. I do not think the two situations are any similar but it is only an artistic way of looking at these lyrics to convey a difficult subject matter)