Majexs03 - Aprilph

YOU DO NOT HEAL BY UNDERSTANDING YOUR TRAUMA

You heal by feeling safe enough to stop repeating it

Not reverting to your old coping mechanisms anymore is how you break the cycle

You want to understand because understanding gives the illusion of control

When we go through pain our mind kicks into overdrive trying to make sense of it. It’s the mind’s way of saying If I can figure this out, I can prevent it from happening again

Sometimes there isn’t a logical answer that will make the pain go away because it had nothing to do with you. And trying to intellectualize everything can become a way to avoid feeling the things that actually needs to move through the body

We try understanding because it’s less scary than sitting in the unknown. Stop trying to solve everything like a puzzle and instead start soothing the part of us that feels afraid, abandoned, unworthy etc

You don’t need another explanation

You need a hug

A deep breath

A new boundary

Or someone who looks at you and tells you that it wasn’t your fault

Because it wasn’t 🤍

This has been top of my mind for quite a bit but you need to tailor every metric. Individualize the data, elevate the game. What worked for her will very likely not work for you, nobody can offer you their blueprint to success because their story is not yours. You can take inspiration from the effective methods the girls have worked with before but tailor it to fit your own circumstances. Assess your cultural background, you can use geographical mobility and strategic relocation, and start building and leveraging connections, or develop and foster new hobbies and interests you genuinely enjoy, you can apply mindset shifts and strategies if needed, learn the languages that open doors for you, and start deciding how and where you invest your money to upgrade your lifestyle while making strides with your career/education to paint a general picture. But seeking insights into someone's specific choices and experiences can come across as misguided and replicating someone else's path won't give you their results because your personal narrative is one that only you can author. The only way forward is through action customized to you. There’s no shortcut, but the fastest way forward is understanding who you are and your current situation, while calculating every move based on your strengths, opportunities, resources, and realistic goals.

“I want to look back and say that I was alive. That I didn’t turn my back. That I tried. That I was happy.”

— Evelyn Waugh, Brideshead Revisited

I been tracking my mood & I think social media is affecting my mood tremendously. Anything you recommend for boredom without instagram, tik tok , twitter , and even limiting myself on tumblr. I mentally can’t afford to spend so much time like this behind a screen.

I have the perfect thing to focus on….. yourself 😍❤️

These are all the things I do, that I thorougly enjoy and aren’t related to social media… and they all make me better too.

Cooking, farmers markets

Learning and taking notes about health, beauty, history etc

Learning new languages

Reading

A very extensive beauty routine

Going on long walks, grounding

Making my million juices

Pilates

Stock market

Creative hobbies

Journaling

Hair, nails

More income related things

Etc etc etc

I set a timer on my phone, and I limit my social media use to one hour a day. When you focus too much on others, you end up living for them instead of yourself. But when you spend your time on things that fulfill you and help you grow, you stop feeling like you’re missing out. You won’t care what others are doing because you’ll be busy doing what makes you feel good.

Start doing things that make you happy & help you improve. Think of time away from the internet as a way to take control of your mind and emotions. Value your time and invest your energy in things that truly give you a high ROI.

One of the hardest parts about trauma is overcoming hyper-independence and understanding that you don’t have to do everything by your own strength. That there’s no virtue in suffering and doing everything entirely on your own. That it’s okay to have expectations for how you want others to show up in your life, and those expectations don’t make you a burden. That having faith means letting go of the belief that everything is in your hands and instead trusting your future to someone greater than you.

Overcoming hyper-independence is a journey in itself.

Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

"Be confident, trust yourself and never let anybody put you down. If anybody puts you down it's because they're jealous."- Adriana Lima

I want to be bread 😭😭😭😭😭😭

It's not fair