Majexs03 - Aprilph

There is a difference between being with someone because you want to get married and have kids & being with someone you want to marry & give children to

One is driven by a desire to fulfill personal goals, while the other is rooted in a deep connection & a desire to build a life together

If you’re ready to get married, date someone who wants to be a husband/wife and a father/mother, not a someone that just wants a spouse and a baby

Please read this

three things on your mind?

We all know that when you start becoming more disciplined and start working on yourself to become a better person, you won't see the results immediately but what people fail to tell you is that sometimes it will take multiple years for you to appreciate the full results of all your hard work. Things won’t fall into place instantly, and expecting your life to change overnight is only setting yourself up for disappointment. Real progress takes lots of time, effort, and patience. At times you might feel as though you're working your fingers to the bone for very little in return or as if things are getting worse instead of better. This is not the case, you will definitely get to where you want to be but you always have to keep working towards your goals and the gains will come to you when you least expect it. Discipline is the foundation of self-improvement; you can’t depend on fleeting bursts of motivation to make lasting changes in your life. You need to build strength and discipline to push past the excuses and take consistent, purposeful action, even when it feels hard. It’s about showing up for yourself day after day. True strength lies in doing what needs to be done, even when you don’t feel like it—which, more often than not, will be the case.

There will be times when you must decide between staying true to yourself and pursuing personal success. Your own preferences, values, beliefs, and identity might conflict with the actions or compromises required for personal success. People’s perceptions, judgments, and decisions are deeply influenced by their personal experiences, emotions, and biases—far more than we often assume. Regardless of their position, whether they are experts, leaders, or authority figures, they remain human, shaped by their own worldviews, insecurities, and subconscious inclinations. Their preconceived notions about you will significantly influence the outcome, even in cases when it should solely depend on your actual competence. As an example - I think that investing into your looks and making sure you look beautiful before stepping out into the world is incredibly important as a woman. Beauty is power but not entirely your own, and the kind of beauty that can be used to your advantage depends on how others see it and that's just a fact. There are many types of beauty and it’s important to think about the kind of beauty that’s most celebrated in your surroundings. For instance, the industry I’m in doesn’t appreciate any intentional attention to personal style—that's just how it is. Complaining about something I can't change or forcing others to accept me as I am is only going to hold me back from valuable opportunities and hurt my future prospects when I could just accept it as it is and profit.

You can't really expect things to be always going smoothly if you want your life to change drastically. Growth happens when you step outside what feels familiar, take risks, and challenge yourself to embrace the discomfort that comes with progress. It's essential to embrace and get really comfortable with the idea of change, because without it, your life won’t evolve. It's not going to feel good to give up old habits, resist temptation of short term pleasures and overcome instant gratification, step out of your comfort zone, spend hours on tedious tasks, severe ties with people you've known all your life, face your biggest insecurities, put your hard-earned money into your personal growth, or unpack your inmost pent up feelings and years of trauma. It's scary, it's difficult and it's uncomfortable. But if you want to build yourself a good life, it's absolutely necessary and there's no doubt you'll need to make certain sacrifices on the way. People often place too much emphasis on the end results, neglecting the journey itself, when in reality, it should be the other way around. The true value lies in the process, in the growth and learning that happen along the way and the results will naturally follow. Brianna West said it best when she said your new life is going to cost you your old one. It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction. It’s going to cost you relationships and friends. If you want your life to transform, you embrace change.

Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

hey! so i was wondering: what are some things that you’ll always buy high end/spend more money on vs things that you’ll save on/buy cheap.

love your blog!

Spend on:

Bras: I cannot say it more emphatically; the quality of your bra will determine the quality of your entire look. If you want to look your best you have got to invest in a great quality bra that fits you perfectly. This is non-negotiable.

Nail polish: Because you don't want to spend 30 minutes applying a $1 nail polish that's going to chip after a few hours. It's best to invest in the nail polish brands that are a bit pricier but last longer because it's ultimately going to be a great investment of your time.

Bed sheets: High thread count sheets are ultimately indispensable- they last longer, wash better & they ultimately feel better. Sleep quality is one of the most important things you can invest in and I promise you great quality sheets will contribute to a better night's sleep.

Cookware: Specifically a great set of knives and pots/pans will take you a longggg way. Since I've begun taking my cooking seriously I've invested in better cookware and I swear on everything my food tastes and looks MUCH better.

Stilettos: I can't quantify the number of times I've had to leave an event early because my feet were literally screaming on account of me wearing cheap stilettos. Trust me, it's not worth it. Spend some time researching great quality shoes that are well reviewed and save yourself money and hours of excruciating pain.

Jeans: When jeans are of great quality, it shows. They hug you better, they conceal imperfections, and they can last decades. I have less than 10 pairs of jeans in total and I don't think I'll ever need any more because the ones I have are high quality and will last forever.

Hair extensions: I've had to learn the hard way that high quality human hair costs money. Yes, you can find a synthetic or virgin wig online for under $200 but within a couple of weeks, it's going to start shedding like crazy and falling apart when you put heat on it. I strongly encourage investing in one or two really high quality wigs/weaves/clip-ins, etc. that are made from raw human hair because they will last you years and save you a ton of money in the long run. The wig I'm currently wearing cost me well over $1000 but I never have to take it off, I've colored it several times with no issue, and it's going to last me years.

Save on:

Makeup products: Makeup isn't that complicated and there's no reason why you should be spending $60+ on a foundation that is made from the same ingredients as most other foundations. I'm not saying that all expensive makeup brands aren't worth their price, but I am saying that you can find perfectly great makeup products at your local convenience store. I recently returned one of my favorite Charlotte Tilbury lipsticks because I took a trip to Primark and found that their $2 lipsticks are WAY creamier, longer lasting, and complimentary on dark skin.

Workout clothes: No, you don't need to spend $80 on a pair of lululemon leggings to have a great workout, especially when there are a ton of brands that are much cheaper and provide higher quality options. And honestly, I'm a big fan of the "random-t-shirt-and-leggings-I-found-at-a-thrift-shop" workout look because I'm not trying to impress anyone at the gym and I'd rather spend my money elsewhere.

Skincare products: Similar to makeup products, the ingredients that actually matter (retionoids, vitamin c, exfoliants, & SPF) are not that expensive so you don't actually need to spend an astronomical amount to get high quality skincare. When looking for skincare products, focus less on price and more on finding ingredients that work for your skin.

Books: In today's day and age it's really not necessary to be paying $20+ on a book that you can likely access online or second-hand. So before running to Barns and Noble to find your next book, head to a local thrift shop or parous through online stores.

Designer items: Because frankly, no one's gonna know nor care whether or not you're carrying the real Chanel classic flap or the fake one you got on DhGate for $75. Unless you can very comfortably drop thousands on a single piece of clothing or accessory, you should just go ahead and have your cake and eat it too by buying the high quality replica version.

Lovingly,

Elle

i just want to spend the rest of this year letting things flow for once in my life and not stress over outcomes and/ or situations i have absolute no control over. just letting God guide me while i work on being the best version of me.

there's nothing else for me to say

hold on a second man…