One Thing I Enjoy About Orv Is How Morally Grey Kim Dokja Is, Especially In The Beginning. During The

KDJ is like the Tamagotchi that KimCom are collectively, struggling desperately to keep alive.

Good news, everyone! Encountered a kind of library book damage today that I've never seen before!

Someone embroidered a page in a Hardy Boys book.

SV AU where shortly after the whole debacle with Tianlang Jun happens, Shen Jiu, Yue Qingyuan, and Original Flavor Shang Qinghua get stuck in a Situation and unexpectedly sex pollen'd or something similar, with an end result that SJ and OG!SQH both get knocked up by YQY.

SJ opts not to abort because of his complex feelings, and OG!SQH opts not to do it because he's never ever going to get anything this good to hold ransom against the sect leader again, now is he? A short while ago he was barely on YQY's radar, now he might get the man to marry him (not while SJ's still breathing).

This begins a silent war between SJ and OG!SQH as they both turn all of their scum villain credentials to the task of sabotaging each other. SJ stops YQY from marrying SQH, SQH tries to poison SJ, SJ tricks Bai Zhan disciples into destroying a bunch of stuff An Ding has to replace, SQH spreads rumors that SJ was already knocked up and orchestrated the whole situation in order to baby trap the sect leader, etc etc. YQY keeps trying to ask SJ to marry him and SJ keeps flatly turning him down, SQH has to scramble to spin this development as a good thing to Mobei Jun even though it obviously presents some complications to his non-existent "loyalties", and the rest of the sect can only watch the chaos unfold.

And then finally the kids are born. Both boys. Lots of congratulations to the sect leader on his healthy sons (plenty of which is thinly-veiled insults from other sects)! YQY acknowledges both of the babies, to no one's surprise but to some aggravation.

The babies, of course, are freshly-transmigrated Shen Yuan and Airplane. Neither of whom is pleased with being the random ass baby of a minor villain who is slated for death! (At least it's better than being the villain who is slated for death?)

Poor Airplane. While YQY makes an effort to split his time as evenly as possible between his sons and never buys one a gift without also getting something for the other, it's really obvious that he has a favorite, and who that favorite is. Shen Yuan is like a mini Shen Qingqiu. Airplane is like a mini Shang Qinghua. Once again, Airplane's the unwanted spare in the family.

Or he would be, except that Original Shang Qinghua gets very attached to his own baby. Yes, it surprises him, too! He'd been planning to foist the kid off onto some wet nurse and then treat him like an extra personal disciple once he was old enough to do things, but one look at the little baby features reflecting himself back and suddenly Original Shang Qinghua's heart grows three sizes. The thing where new parents see their babies and it totally reorients their worldview? Shang Qinghua has that.

It's the opposite situation with Shen Qingqiu, who looks at his own tiny reflection and increasingly can't stand to be around him. The more Shen Yuan grows and the clearer the resemblance becomes, the more intolerable Shen Qingqiu finds the sight of him.

Anyway despite being "brothers", Airplane and Shen Yuan don't actually spend much time together until they're a bit older. But finally one day YQY is looking after both of them (SJ has gone into closed cultivation, and SQH doesn't want his son to be left out in the cold while YQY bonds with the other kid), and they interact enough to figure out that they're both transmigrators.

And then who they are, as transmigrators.

YQY feels a headache coming on as he has to stop preschooler SY from smacking the shit out of preschooler Airplane.

Despite this inauspicious start, however, Airplane and SY become good bros from then on. As a transmigration baby, it's very valuable to have someone you can actually talk to! Who will take you seriously and not think you're weird! Also, they gotta coordinate their efforts to keep their evil villain dads from getting them all killed (now or in the not-too-distant future)!

Baby SY and Airplane come up with a brilliant Plan to Not Die:

Step One: get Yue Qingyuan to recruit Luo Binghe to his peak instead of Shen Qingqiu

Step Two: take turns overseeing Luo Binghe's education so that he has a nice time and never gets kicked into any abysses or awakens any demon powers or develops any vendettas against them or their parents

Step Three: live awesome lives as cultivators in a fantasy/adventure world!

Since there's no system there's no reason to think they can't change the plot. After all, there was definitely nothing like them in the original story either, not even in Airplane's notes! But there's a major issue, which is that neither of them is completely sure when Luo Binghe is going to show up.

Ning Yingying joins Qing Jing as a disciple of Shen Qingqiu's at an age way younger than most (she's actually a brothel kid he took in as a favor to a madam he owed a favor to), and Airplane was never totally clear on Luo Binghe's age relative to his peers anyway since the seniority in terms of reference had to do with when they joined the sect, not how old they were. So they can only ballpark it. Luo Binghe will show up when he's the ideal age to cultivate, and he's somewhere around the same age as Ming Fan and Ning Yingying. Ish. Shang Qinghua knows that in the original, Ning Yingying asked Shen Qingqiu for a shidi. But now she has Shen Yuan to be her "little brother" on Qing Jing Peak, so she might not even do that.

That should make things easier, but it also makes working out what they need to do (if anything) more complicated. SY and Airplane try and attend all the recruitment trials, but SQH doesn't ever bother to go to those in person most times and doesn't like to let Airplane go anywhere off the peak unless he's with him, and SY has the reverse problem, where SQQ never takes him with him anywhere if he can help it and wouldn't bring him to a selection trial if he was also going to be there.

They work around it by having SY get really clingy to Yue Qingyuan so he can follow him to any such events, even the ones Airplane misses because he's cloistered with Helicopter Parent SQH.

SQQ and SQH have a renewed bout of hissing-and-spitting rivalry over the fact that SY is bonding even more with YQY, but SQH doesn't want to relinquish any more of his bonding time with Airplane to the sect leader to try and combat it, so SQH is approaching the situation by accusing SQQ of being a terrible parent in hopes SQQ will at least try to prove him wrong (SQQ doesn't -- he never really defends himself from any accusations, after all).

In fact, it backfires because when SY and Airplane are finally old enough to complete their own (most symbolic) initiation trials (a bit younger than the ideal age, but that's normal for the children of sect members) Shen Qingqiu doesn't take Shen Yuan on to his own peak. As if to confirm SQH's accusation rather than diminish him, he just stares coldly at his own son and makes no move to accept him as a disciple.

Poor SY's left standing there while the politics play out, because no one else is sure if they should, regardless of his potential as a cultivator. SQH has already accepted Airplane as a personal disciple, so now YQY's favoritism looks even more blatant if he takes one son onto Qiong Ding but not the other. But SQQ looks like he's fully prepared to let no one take Shen Yuan on rather than do it himself, and then what?

Finally, YQY somewhat awkwardly announces that the matter of SY's acceptance into the peak was already decided previously, and shuts the whole ceremony down. To salvage the situation (and prevent too many rumors of SY being untalented or unwanted outside of nepotism, which would cause him a lot of trouble in life) YQY has sets it up like he and SQQ previously discussed it and agreed to send SY to study under another sect, as an important diplomatic gesture.

SQQ is mad about this. But SQQ is mad about everything, including the thing he himself did earlier that day, when he just stood there and watched SY flounder while taking vicious and bitter satisfaction in the voice in his head insisting that no one would want him, because no one wanted SJ either, and other such brain goblins that tend to plague him.

But done is done so SY gets shipped off to Huan Hua Palace. Which he has mixed feelings about, because on the one hand, HHP is largely spared Luo Binghe's wrath, so if the plot does play out, at least he'll (maybe) be fine. But now he has virtually no chance of preventing that, and also his relationship with SJ is complicated but his relationship with YQY is mostly just good, and he doesn't want either of them to die horribly. Plus now he can only write letters to Airplane, which SQH is definitely going to read beforehand, so everything either has to be superficial or in code.

Plus, everyone in HHP seems to either hate him or want to suck up to him. Or both. It's a little bit too much like his last life, with his wealthy family and all the people who'd try to get to them through him, either to hurt them or to get something out of them.

Meanwhile Airplane is freaking out. Like yeah sure his dad's really pleased, SQH is over the moon to have the rival kid out of the way and plenty of excuses and opportunities to have YQY pay attention to and spend time with Airplane instead, to maybe supplant SY as the favorite son.

And YQY does spend the time with him, and puts in an effort, but also he has the air of someone who is stepping barefoot onto broken glass but is being very stoic and brave about it every time someone mentions Shen Yuan. Airplane is like "oh my god dude he's basically at boarding school, not dead" but also "same though" because he's sweating bullets over having to potentially deal with this impending Luo Binghe catastrophe solo. Also his best friend and the only person who truly understands his situation is gone.

Sure enough, Airplane misses the trials where Luo Binghe turns up. Ning Yingying, deeply aggrieved at having SY sent away, begs SQQ for a new shidi to make up for it. Liu Qingge, pissed off at the whole situation, provokes SQQ over LBH again, and SQQ demands LBH for his peak so that he can take out even more of his issues on him. Because now "A-Luo" is arriving in the wake of SY's absence, basically taking the position that would have been his.

Airplane: oh shit

Shen Yuan, responding to Airplane's letter: do NOT let my stupid asshole dad antagonize the protagonist into chopping off his arms and legs one day!!!

Airplane: oh yeah sure bro, no problem, I'll just jog over to his peak and tell him to be nicer???

Shen Yuan: get Father to intervene

Airplane: sure! why didn't I think of that! because Father is so good at telling your dad not to do stuff!

Shen Yuan: ...we're fucked

Airplane: yeah

Anyway, Airplane's got even more problems to worry about, because SQH's relationship with Mobei Jun has been deteriorating. Like it was never good to begin with, and Mobei Jun doesn't usually even turn up in person, instead sending demon servants to collect information and deliver thinly-veiled threats. Airplane wouldn't even know about it except that he already knew about it, and knew what to look for, but reading between the lines he can tell that things are not good.

He doesn't want SQH to get killed by MBJ, okay? Yes granted he originally made him for that, just a throwaway traitor guy who was supposed to be killed off by a much cooler character, no further thought required, but now that throwaway traitor guy is his dad. His dad who loves him, like none of the family Airplane had in his past life ever did.

So Airplane decides, well, MBJ is his favorite character he's ever created, but that was then. This is now. Now, Mobei Jun's gotta die.

He plans it out. It'll be quick, clean, almost painless even. Sneak into the northern palace by following one of MBJ's messengers. Lace MBJ's food with a potent sleeping tonic that even worked on Luo Binghe in PIDW, that can be made with ingredients pilfered from Qian Cao's stores. Bash his head in while he's unconscious. He won't even feel it, Luo Binghe will be down a powerful ally (that might mean he needs to spend a lot more time consolidating control of the northern demon kingdom, if he still goes down his fated path) and Airplane can go home and pretend he just sneaked out to do some dumb adolescent shit when SQH inevitably freaks out about him disappearing for that long.

Airplane gets as far as the "bash his head in" part of his plan, but he can't do it.

Unfortunately, the sleeping poison doesn't last for as long on MBJ as it did on LBH either. MBJ wakes up before Airplane can fully abandon ship, and captures him. He quickly figures out Airplane's from An Ding Peak, and thinks SQH has sent an unusually tiny assassin, but Airplane frantically averts that disaster by more or less telling him the truth: SQH didn't send him, he's SQH's son, he's worried his father is going to get killed and he came to try and kill MBJ first.

MBJ is like "then why didn't you?" and Airplane basically describes the scene from How to Train Your Dragon, where Hiccup can't bring himself to kill Toothless, which is just bizarre enough that MBJ finds it too confounding to just kill him outright.

So MBJ decides, okay, if you want to make this up to me, then you serve me too. Just like your dad. Swear fealty to me and if you serve me well enough, I'll spare your father even if he displeases me. It's kind of bullshit because MBJ is fully expecting to still probably kill them both eventually, but he's just kind of curious about this weird kid now. Wants to see where this goes, maybe.

Airplane goes back home to get grounded by SQH and to frantically try and come up with ways that a junior disciple with even fewer connections than SQH could "make himself valuable" enough to stave off MBJ's ruthlessness. Lucky he's the author, and he's pen pals with a guy who has an even better memory of the nonsense he wrote than he does. He starts putting together his own informant packets to slip in with SQH's, containing information that will be directly useful to MBJ, to help him solve his current problems and also keep him distracted routing out his uncle's spies and chasing down fabulous treasures that will help consolidate his own position.

He doesn't fret about explaining how he knows this stuff. This is too important! SQH's life is on the line! Airplane will tell everyone he's a mystical seer if he has to, okay?!

Meanwhile over at HHP, Shen Yuan is digging up intrigues of his own. Namely, backstory on Luo Binghe's mother! Well if he's going to be stuck here, he might as well, right? There was so little info about her in the book, and SY struggles to believe that Luo Binghe's own mother wouldn't want him (struggles to believe anyone wouldn't, always has), and the more he looks into the matter of Su Xiyan the sketchier the Old Palace Master gets, and the more dirty laundry he starts to uncover.

He'd initially entertained an idea of making the Old Palace Master aware of Luo Binghe's existence early, to maybe get him poached for HHP and away from SQQ, and had only struggled with how to explain him knowing it. But now he's not so sure that would be safe for LBH either. Which could backfire on him, of course! That's the important part. Mister Self-Preservation, that's Shen Yuan to a T alright.

Instead, he writes Airplane (in "their special bro code", which is very bad English) and Airplane writes back like oh yeah, in my drafts HHP is totally evil, here's what actually happened.

SY wishes he could long-distance throttle someone.

Instead he writes another letter, this time to YQY, and sends it away from HHP (to reduce the odds of someone intercepting it). The letter details all the dirt he's dug up on the Old Palace Master and the incident with Tianlang Jun.

Instead of being like "my god, that rotten palace master set us up to fight against an innocent demon!" though, YQY is just really worried as to why his ten-year-old son is spying on the sect he's supposed to be learning from. SY ought to be starting his basic cultivation exercises, making friends, and playing, why is he skulking around trying to implicate HHP in a scandal? YQY goes to SQQ like "did you ask him to do this?" and SQQ does not take that well, but then is like "did it never occur to you that maybe he's trying to impress you? that maybe he thinks if he can prove his loyalty to you enough, by giving you a bunch of dirt on a rival sect you shipped him off to, maybe you'll bring him back and make him a Qiong Ding disciple after all?"

SQQ is just waiting for YQY to call him on his bullshit, to point out that SQQ rejected their son first with his own stunt, to finally push back and do something to defend SY even if he wouldn't do the same for SJ. But YQY doesn't, because he's still blaming himself for everything anyway, so instead he goes back to his peak and agonizes about if there's a way for him to bring SY home at this stage without inciting a major diplomatic incident (there isn't, not yet anyway). Eventually he settles for writing SY a letter assuring him that YQY is very proud of him and that he's going to be a great cultivator and he should focus on that and not on, uh, very adult-oriented political intrigues?

SY reads this letter like "well that's nice but ultimately useless" and decides to just keep on quietly accumulating evidence. Also Gongyi Xiao has turned up which is good because SY needs a friend. Especially a friend who will eventually get clearance to all the parts of HHP he's politely barred from, since everyone in HHP is pretty sure he's a spy (he is, kind of, but it's still rude...)

Luckily, every two years HHP disciples get an opportunity to visit their homes and spend time with their families. Not every disciple takes this opportunity, but most of them bought their place into the sect anyway, so a lot of them do because their wealthy families want to maintain those connections. SY doesn't even have to ask, YQY goes and collects him in person (HHP trying to figure out why he'd want to go there in person the whole while, if it's an insult or a compliment or if he's angling for something), and then takes SY to Qing Jing Peak, trying to assure him the whole time that SJ also desperately missed him.

SY's not holding his breath on that, but at least it gets him in the vicinity of Luo Binghe. He has some vague ideas of using that (maybe gasping and going "oh my, that young man looks just like the drawings of former head disciple Su!" even though he's never seen a portrait of her, if he had they probably wouldn't have been that lifelike or accurate, and he doesn't even know for sure that LBH resembles his mother) but mostly he just wants to see the almighty protagonist in the flesh.

Young LBH lives up to expectations, but the situation isn't heartening. Shen Qingqiu has clearly not been treating him well. Luckily, YQY tries to leave SY with SJ so they can patch things up, and SJ almost immediately resumes being wherever SY is not, so Shen Yuan uses his magic SJ-repelling charms to shield LBH while he's on Qing Jing Peak. He also uses his son-of-the-sect-leader clout to convince Ming Fan that LBH should be let back into the dorms, conscripts Ning Yingying into getting the peak's servants (kitchen staff, cleaners, etc) sympathetic to LBH so they'll sneak him food even if he misses meals, and covertly replaces LBH's fake cultivation manual with a real one. But they're small measures at most, and he knows that there won't be much he can do to help or even maintain them once he's back at HHP.

SY @ Airplane: you gotta help Binghe more it's important that he's not miserable!

Airplane @ SY: I fixed up the woodshed real nice! I don't know what else you expect me to do when a whole entire peak lord is dead set against him and he lives on another mountain?? can't you convince your dad to be less shitty??

SY: if I had that kind of influence on him I would have already used it by now

Airplane: fair enough. btw mobei jun is blackmailing me, do you have an info on HHP movements that I can give to him to keep him off my dad's back?

The light bulb lights up, of course, when Airplane and SY realize that they do in fact know someone who would give a shit about the Huan Hua Palace Master's treachery against the old demon emperor, and the existence of Tianlang Jun's heir.

Arranging for MBJ to awaken Luo Binghe's demon blood early and take him away to the demon realms might not fix everything, but it's beginning to look like the least-bad of all the bad options they've got. SY and Airplane discuss it and decide to wait until after Sha Hualing's invasion. It means subjecting him to a bit more bullying on Qing Jing, but Luo Binghe should be strong enough by then that awakening his demon heritage won't kill him, especially if his cultivation training improves compared to canon, and he'll have met the dream demon and begun to gain unique skills of his own by then. Which is important in case it backfires, as SY adamantly insists. They don't want to make things worse! In the meanwhile, Airplane will slowly feed MBJ the evidence of the Old Palace Master's misdeeds that SY has accumulated, and SY will try and figure out a way to discourage SQQ from using LBH as his own personal punching bag as much as possible.

SY tries being like, hey dad, you know that incredibly awful thing you did to me where you left me out to dry during my initiation ceremony? Well there's something I want you to do to make it up to me. And SJ is like, I have no idea what you're referring to, your father sent you off to rich kid boarding school, you have no problems in life you ungrateful brat. So SY's like, haha yeah, anyway, stop beating children. And SJ's like, how dare you, that is the least reasonable request one person has ever made of another.

Unfortunately SY doesn't think of a better approach before his vacation family visit is over, but he at least is clever enough not to mention LBH by name, because that would almost certainly make things worse for him instead of better. He opts not to heavily hint at LBH's heritage to YQY either, because he doesn't trust YQY not to interpret that as "a demon has infiltrated my sect" rather than "I should stop my shidi from abusing the probable heir to the demon empire" and again, it might make more problems for LBH than it solves.

He could, at this point, probably just get LBH killed. Which would protect everyone from the plotline. But he doesn't think the world is liable to let its protagonist go and he doesn't want LBH to actually get hurt. Such a plan could backfire terribly if it didn't work, too.

Oh that pesky risk of backfires. If it weren't for those, SY would definitely be more ruthless. For sure. He's the mean one, not like nice, laid back Airplane (who already planned and attempted an assassination.)

The best path forward in this universe is definitely either avoiding the protagonist entirely (not an option now) or else hugging his thighs tight.

Thigh-hugging it is!

Shen Yuan starts writing letters to Luo Binghe when he's back at HHP, telling LBH it's for the pleasure of having another person to write letters to. To help cover his ass, he also writes Ning Yingying and Ming Fan more often too. In his letters to LBH he makes sure to include cultivation tips, some light blackmail on Ming Fan, and information on secluded and secret places on the peak where a disciple in need of some peace and quiet might go to avoid other people.

Time passes. Airplane feeds MBJ the right information for it to get back to Sha Hualing when YQY leaves the peaks, and Sha Hualing launches her invasion. It goes more or less like in PIDW. LBH alludes to a highly edited version of events in a letter to Shen Yuan, which downplays SQQ's awfulness, but Airplane sends him the unvarnished version -- poor Airplane was genuinely worried for a minute that SJ would make him fight the third match instead of LBH, but either being blood related to YQY or concern over what SQH would do to him if he tried it or the greater cosmic villain mandate that he persecute the protagonist won out over that impulse. He threw LBH onto the sacrificial altar instead.

Now, from Luo Binghe's perspective, Shen Yuan's niceness is just a further condemnation of Shen Qingqiu's tyranny. The rumors in Cang Qiong are basically: YQY fathered two sons on two other peak lords in an incident that is not to be discussed, but speculation on it ranges from pretty much the truth to a torrid three way affair to YQY trying to turn the entire sect into his personal harem. Airplane is beloved by Shang Qinghua and is cloistered away on An Ding Peak like a beautiful maiden whose mother fears for her virtue. Shen Yuan, however, is shunned and neglected by Shen Qingqiu, who has never forgiven Yue Qingyuan for cheating on him with Shang Qinghua. But Shen Yuan is the sect leader's favorite son, because he is the more talented. On QJP, they only whisper it, but on other peaks it's common gossip that Yue Qingyuan sent Shen Yuan away so that his other father wouldn't ruin his potential out of spite.

LBH, hearing this about the subject of his burgeoning crush, is like, oh okay so Shizun's just a horrible person then? That explains a lot actually. Whew, glad it's not me who is the problem!

So when SY comes back for his second visit home, he's pleasantly relieved to find that LBH is less badly treated and less fucked up about SQQ hating his guts than he'd been in PIDW. He's still not got it easy by any stretch, and the relationship between him and the other disciples is tense at best, but he's only sleeping in the woodshed sometimes and his cultivation is progressing despite the obstacles.

Still, time for MBJ to step in, before they run the risk of the Immortal Alliance Conference and Endless Abyss happening.

Airplane thinks they should arrange things so that Luo Binghe gets outed as a demon, so that he can't easily come back to the righteous sects and set up any retribution against Cang Qiong. Shen Yuan thinks that's a bad idea since it means Luo Binghe would suffer has fewer subtler outlets for vengeance if he goes after it, and that more violent methods like outright warfare would still inevitably swing in his favor. They agree to set it up in secret, then, and take Luo Binghe out on a quest together where MBJ will "attack" them, unlock LBH's demon blood, and whisk him away to go learn about the other half of his abilities.

Best laid plans of mice and men often go astray. Luo Binghe manages to escape instead of being captured by MBJ, carting SY off (abandoning Airplane, poor Airplane) and protesting that he's not an evil demon. SY has to improvise, and so ends up telling LBH that he already knew or at least suspected, and explaining about Su Xiyan and TLJ -- pulling out his bullshit "I saw a portrait of SXY in HHP and you look just like her" explanation for this apparent act of divination, and explaining the rest as part of his own investigation into the Old Palace Master, as a concerned disciple of HHP.

Luo Binghe figures out that SY and Airplane setup the encounter with Mobei Jun, and they both beg his forgiveness and tell him it was the only thing they could come up with to get him some training on his demonic cultivation and get him away from the righteous sects, who might, y'know, kill him for the whole demon thing.

LBH is touched that SY doesn't care about his being a demon beyond the threat it poses to him. And Airplane's cool too, he supposes. But he's also a little suspicious and wary of it though. What if they're lying? To be fair, they kind of are, but not about their indifference to LBH's demonic heritage. So Airplane points out that him even knowing MBJ at all could be used against him if LBH wants leverage, and SY is his loyal bro who wouldn't want him to get into trouble either. LBH decides to accept their explanations at face value.

However, he doesn't go with MBJ. He has the dream demon to tutor him in his demonic abilities, and he's heard scary things about the demon kingdoms and doesn't want to go there. In all fairness, Mobei Jun doesn't give the impression that he'd be a kinder teacher than Shen Qingqiu either. MBJ is also thoroughly unhelpful because if LBH wants to look a gift horse in the mouth, that's fine. He thinks LBH should take his very generous offer, but he's not going to hold his hand through it either, and is perfectly willing to abandon him to whatever other fate he chooses to pursue.

SY and Airplane can't talk LBH out of it without either making it sound like they think SQQ is an evil serial killer or that they actually want to drive LBH out of the sect, undermining their insistence that they don't hate demons, so the whole thing's mostly a wash and they have to go back to Cang Qiong with him.

Before SY finishes his latest family visit, he goes to SQQ again and is like, okay. I know you have issues. I know we don't talk about it because neither of us likes to talk about it. Honestly, I would also love to leave your skeletons in the closet and politely pretend they don't exist, but you keep taking your shit out on innocent bystanders and it's not good. And SQQ is like, I don't want to have this conversation (although part of me actually does) so I'm going to accuse you of being unfilial for even bringing it up. So SY is like, stop beating kids. And SJ is like, oh so I guess that makes me the bad guy does it? I'm the bad guy who abuses children? It's that what you're saying? That I mistreated you? I never laid a hand on you! And SY is like, I'm not talking about me, and SJ is like oh of course you're not, you're such a little saint, only concerned with others and never with the bullshit you get put through, only a selfish fiend like your old man would care about his own mistreatment, and SY is like if I had a toxic argument bingo card it would almost be full by now, why are you like this?

Which means they still don't get anywhere trying the "genuine conversation about SJ's problems" route. But SY was prepared for total failure this time, so he deploys his backup, which is bribery.

If SQQ promises to stop mistreating his disciples, even if he really doesn't like them, even if he thinks he has every right to harm them, then SY will go back to HHP and not return to Qing Jing Peak again unless SQQ specifically asks him to. SQQ can finally be rid of seeing SY's face ever again, if he wants. All he has to do is make this promise and keep it (SY will know if he doesn't.)

Surprisingly, this almost doesn't work either. SJ gets very upset and accuses Shen Yuan of wanting to never see him again, to which SY is like, what? You avoided me my whole childhood. Did you think I didn't notice? Which just makes SJ more agitated, but finally SJ does what he usually does, which is double-down on whatever he sees as the worst option. So SY hates him and never wants to see him again? Fine. SJ will agree to his little bargain, his pretending at saintly motives in insisting that his evil father not harm other children as the price for this supposed self-sacrifice, and give Shen Yuan the excuse he obviously desires to stay away from him. But he won't let him have it unless SY admits that he hates SQQ.

Shen Yuan means to do it. To claim that he hates his dad. His actual feelings are way more complex and surprisingly little hatred comes into it, but he can lie, can't he? To try and save their lives? If it's him saying he hates Shen Qingqiu or Shen Qingqiu getting turned into a human stick, that's a no-brainer, isn't it? Kids say dumb stuff when they're upset all the time anyway. SY doesn't even need to try to seem upset, he already is! He could probably even manage a few tears of frustration at this point if he stopped holding back!

And yet.

The words won't come.

"I'm worried that one day you're going to hurt someone who really won't forgive you. Someone who will demand you be paid back for every injury you've inflicted against them," he finds himself admitting instead.

SQQ doesn't seem to know what to say to that. SY doesn't know how to follow it up either. So he just leaves, defeated, with no bargain struck and no other ideas yet about how to get SQQ to stop being a massive shithead. He hasn't completely given up, though!

It's not that he thinks there's a better person in SJ, deep down. But he thinks SJ is aware of his own unfairness, and for some reason has just resigned himself to being "the bad guy". So he actually doesn't have to convince SJ that what he's doing is wrong, he just has to get SJ to realize that he can be better than that, if he wants to. There are glimmers of hope and SY sees enough of the hurt too that he can't completely write SJ off.

On Airplane's end of things, meanwhile, MBJ has definitely determined that either SQH knows way more than he's let on and has been holding enough back that a child makes for a better informant, or else Airplane is some kind of mystical seer. Given those options, Airplane opts to be like "definitely I am a mystical seer", and MBJ decides that's worth more than a dozen sketchy Cang Qiong spies and he should just kidnap him and cut ties with SQH.

Airplane talks him out of it. He's like, if you take me to your frozen demon palace that's still half full of murderous demon nobles who like your uncle better, I will definitely die. I am a squishy fourteen-year-old human who is still working on basic core formation, there are so many things that can kill me. As soon as you take your eyes off of me I will die like a misbegotten pet store fish put into the wrong kind of water. Then you will probably have to defend against YQY seeking retribution, if only for the principle of the thing, and he's actually super tough. He beat TLJ, after all, he will almost definitely kill you. I'm psychic so I know these things.

And MBJ is like, not totally convinced, but also doesn't know enough about squishy fourteen-year-old humans to refute it. So fine. Airplane can stay with his dad, for now, but one day MBJ is going to carry him off.

This is wonderful! Great! Not terrifying at all!

Things are going well.

To make matters even better, the Immortal Alliance Conference keeps looming closer, with all its potential for disaster. SY gets involved with organizing a lot of it on the HHP and is like, hey you know what would be fun? If we changed the venue completely! But HHP has been setting this up since before SY was a disciple, and moving it to be held in some other location is not easy and SY can't come up with a compelling enough reason for it anyway, so that suggestion is ignored. So then SY is like, well at least I don't have to personally attend, but HHP is letting basically all their younger disciples participate, anyone who volunteers, and some of those kids are NOT skilled enough even for the normal level of the competition. So SY has to go and try and keep the little ones from getting killed.

He and Airplane are both just turned 16 when the Immortal Alliance Conference inevitably arrives.

YQY places the exact same bet on each of his sons breaking top five in the rankings. SQH bets a lot on Airplane winning (An Ding Peak has been doing very well these past years, and has gone from being overlooked and maligned to functionally being the second most influential peak in the sect), and the SJ decides he's going to place a matching bet on SY winning, which YQY agrees to cover, which makes SQH grind his teeth.

So the passive-aggressive digs and bitching are in fine form when the contest starts.

Initially the disciples strike out on their own, except for SY, who rounds up the weakest and least talented HHP kids and has them all dragging along with him, halving his glory from any opponents they do encounter and slowing down his progress across the field. SQH at first is like "how... noble your son is, Shen-shixiong, to tolerate such dead weight hanging from his coattails" all false honey and implied insult for his poor strategy, but then SJ is like "he gets it from the sect leader" and that shuts him up.

And anyway, Airplane eventually circles back to rejoin SY and then sticks with him, so Shen Yuan's problems are shared. Luo Binghe does too, which gives Gongyi Xiao an edge in taking the lead, at least until some HHP disciples ignore SY's admonishments to avoid the water and they get attacked by a monster of far too high a level for the competition. Then of course the spirit eagles start dying, and it becomes apparent that something has gone really wrong.

SY and Airplane of course already knew something like this would happen, and have been preparing talismans for more than a year in advance. Rather than traveling to a place with natural defenses, they set up where they are, only moving further inland to erect a barrier and then start fending off anything that attacks them. Luckily Luo Binghe decided to stick with them, so they don't have to go find him. Gongyi Xiao and Liu Mingyan catch up them with in short order too, bringing another flock of weaker disciples along, most of whom can at least help fortify the barrier.

SQH gets to them first, but there are other disciples in the gorge in far more danger and their condition is stable, so they are left for the time being while everyone goes to rescue those in worse shape and to try and create a safe opening and guard it against letting any monsters escape (YQY and LQG's job). SY and Airplane are just beginning to think they might get out of this without SQQ even turning up, when the black moon python rhino shows up and breaks through their barrier.

Then it's chaos. Even with a lot of planning, SY and Airplane are both still sixteen-year-old disciples with only a few years of active cultivating under their belts. Luo Binghe and Gongyi Xiao are older, but not more experienced, and only Luo Binghe has nigh-godly natural talents under his belt (and most of those can't be used without revealing his demonic heritage).

The broken barrier lets other monsters through, and the disciples begin fighting for their lives. Somehow SY and Airplane get separated, and Airplane almost gets eviscerated by ghost head spiders until Mobei Jun shows up and carries him off instead. SY nearly gets trampled by the python rhino, but Luo Binghe intercedes, using his demonic abilities to fend the beast off.

Which is when Shen Qingqiu reaches their group.

TBC

Xisuma is forced to play hit video game That’s Not My Hermit by Evil Xisuma every day

i just couldn't stop thinking about six pack KDJ and soon this came to me in a vision

Yeah, sure I’ll keep drawing Gerry and I’ll be so normal about it

Kim Dokja wins first prize for [Character I Simultaneously Want to Strangle but Also Relate to at the Same Time], congratulations sir.

AU where there's no system (or a decidedly less restrictive one) and Shen Yuan transmigrates into an OC rogue cultivator before the start of the novel, and decides he's gonna steal the protagonist before Luo Binghe even gets to Cang Qiong.

The logic is sound -- he'll keep Luo Binghe from experiencing neglect and abuse at Shen Qingqiu's hands, raise him away from the pressure of the sects and the likelihood that anyone else might find out about his heritage and try to harm him over it, keep him fully away from the Immortal Alliance Conference, and then Luo Binghe's course will change trajectory because he'll have no reason to want revenge against the world and no access to Xin Mo. Shen Yuan will be able to spare Luo Binghe some suffering and possibly survive in a world less subject to the harrowing whims of a half-mad tyrannical overlord. Win-win!

However, the tricky bit is that he's not sure exactly how far ahead of the novel he is, and also Airplane didn't specify where Luo Binghe grew up. This means that Luo Binghe could be any age younger than twelve and in any number of places along or near to the Luo river.

Shen Yuan decides he's going to approach this by pretending he is looking for the long-lost son of his sister, traveling through the likeliest areas, asking after abandoned children who might fit the protagonist's description. It's a long shot, he knows, and he's mostly relying on the existence of Narrative Destiny. But eventually he is directed by several people towards a particular city, which is not as close to the river as he'd have expected Luo Binghe to grow up, but then again he only knows that was where baby Binghe was found, not where the washerwoman who took him in ultimately lived.

It becomes clear to him, though, that he's been sent to the wrong target. But also why he's been sent astray is apparent in nearly the same breath, because among the slave children living in this area is a little boy who could be his much younger clone.

Seriously, this kid looks just like him! Or, well, close enough. He looks a lot like Shen Yuan's actual nieces and nephews from his past life. It's uncanny.

Also, because of his search, the slave kids get wind of what he's looking for (his long-lost nephew) pretty quick. The boy with the obvious resemblance to him greets Shen Yuan's own assessment with wary cynicism, but he's just a little boy. So it's not difficult to notice the way he's also practically vibrating with hopefulness, half-hiding behind a protective older kid and looking at Shen Yuan with big dark eyes like he expects to be rescued or destroyed with whatever he has to say next.

Shen Yuan has a big problem now. He just knows that if he says something like "actually no this boy is too old to be my nephew" or whatever other excuse, no one will believe him, and also this poor kid is going to be permanently scarred by it. He's going to think Shen Yuan is lying just so that he can reject him. On top of that, he's not in a good situation here. None of these children are even remotely well cared-for.

Shen Yuan's rogue cultivator self isn't rich on the level of being like a wealthy sect leader or anything, but he's made some money since transmigrating by doing random cultivator jobs and quests along the way here. He uses it all to purchase two little slave boys (Do Not Separate), then takes another job and uses that coin to acquire a somewhat rundown manor which used to belong to the local gentry. The Qiu family (rings some bells but that's not exactly an uncommon name) kept it up for a while in case a branch family sprung up in need of a residence, but they've been in decline and the place is downright decrepit, so they had been looking to sell it instead. It's too big for a wandering bachelor like SY to ever need on his own account, but that's sort of the idea. He makes more money taking on cultivator work, at first taking his boys along with him for lack of any alternative. Nerve-wrackingly dangerous! Eventually he hires workers to start restoring the manor, particularly setting up a yard to be a school area, and then starts taking on any freelance jobs he can get in order to steadily buy out the contracts on all the other kids. He gets it nice enough to house and care for as many orphans as he can acquire.

Not because he's a big old softie though!

His story of looking for his nephew is a bust now, since he's apparently "found" the kid. So he's got to change tactics! If he can't find baby Binghe and the washerwoman, the next best approach is to create an opportunity for them to come to him. So once he's got his new household established, he starts offering free lessons to all the local kids. Not just the ones he's taken in, but also any who come by and want to learn some things. It's a tempting setup for anyone who wants their child to get education but can't afford a tutor, and Luo Binghe's mother had been entirely the sort of person who would have packed up and left her situation if there had been an opportunity for it.

On that note, SY also starts hiring single mothers to help look after his new gaggle of children and do the work he doesn't know how to do in these times, like keeping house, laundry, cooking, actually raising kids, etc.

His "little school" is not universally popular. A few groups try and ruin him, because the poverty in the region provides a basis of business for them. The ringleaders of the human traffickers in the area don't want their trade to dry up, even if it means selling all of their merchandise for this round, so when they find out that their underlings let Shen Yuan buy off all the kids they try and intimidate him into returning them (it doesn't go well for them). The Qiu family also isn't thrilled after it becomes clear what he's doing, and get him investigated by the local authorities (read: use their bribed officials and local goons to try and interfere.)

When that doesn't work either the sects get involved, because the Qiu go crying to Huan Hua Palace that Shen Yuan is sketchy and is trying to establish his own sect. So Shen Yuan talks his way around the matter, and frankly the Qiu are small fish even if they're the biggest ones in the local pond, so HHP doesn't care to pursue things much further. (Read: SY could mop the floor with the disciples they sent to investigate him, and it's not worth it to piss off someone this mysterious and powerful just to bully some impoverished children.)

Shen Yuan is appalled by all this bullshit though. Trust the world of PIDW to make it so hard just for a guy to teach some poor kids how to read and do math!

It makes him dig in his heels about it, because he is at heart a stubborn bastard. The fires that once fueled a thousand angry screeds on zhongdian literature site is now aimed at the local magistrate. One of the women he's hired on has some dirt on the Qiu family, which leads SY to dig up some more until he eventually has enough to turn the tables on them. Local officials won't investigate because they've all been bought, but that in and of itself is of some interest to their superiors closer to the palace, and so SY arranges an investigation of his own that goes way further than he thought? Turns out there are some ugly skeletons in the Qiu closets, and the imperial investigator comes down on them hard.

Well, he can't say they didn't have it coming? Though he does feel bad for the children in the family, especially the oldest son, who gets hauled off to jail along with his father. At least the girl is sent to live with relatives. Maybe he should have done more to shield the minors in the situation...?

His kids tell him not to worry about it, though, that apparently young master Qiu was known to run people down in the streets and beat his servants and do other cartoonishly awful things. SY's not sure how much of it is true and how much of it is his little flock of fluffy sheep trying to ease his conscience, though they do all seem to take a lot of vindictive delight in the whole affair. Especially Nephew, who clings to his sleeves and loudly declares that the investigator should have publicly flogged the discredited nobles so that everyone could go watch, and then begs him for sweets as if that wasn't a creepy thing to hear come out of an eight-year-old's mouth. SY just sighs and tells him he can have something good when he finishes his calligraphy practice.

Of course, it's not exactly easy running what is basically an orphanage-slash-school (and maybe a budding sect...?), especially when pretty much all of the kids have been traumatized and faced stuff like rampant dehumanization, food insecurity, abuse, and neglect. Hiring single mothers soon becomes not only a plan to try and lure in Luo Binghe's mom, but an absolute godsend of an idea because SY has no clue WHAT he would do on his own about the discipline issues or emotional breakdowns or acting out that some of the kids get up to once it registers that they're in a safe enough place to unpack their baggage.

Apart from Nephew, SY's favorite kid is the one who came with him, the oldest of the flock of former slave children. He's the big brother of the group, the one who tries his best to look after the others and to not make any trouble himself. But even poor Little Yue is still just a kid who has been through too much, and he also eventually starts having some meltdowns and struggles with processing everything that has happened to him as a vulnerable child in an unkind world.

SY really didn't mean to start a trauma center for mistreated children!

Though, that's still not necessarily a bad thing for Luo Binghe to one day come across, provided he ever actually shows up...

Eventually, Shen Yuan does figure out that he must be ahead even of Luo Binghe's birth, though he still doesn't put together that he's interfered in the scum villain's backstory. Probably something even more amusingly obscure, like the creation year of some random artifact Luo Binghe used in some wife plot or other, tips him off and he mentally throws his hands up in the air. He's got to wait DECADES? Maybe he ought to try and find Luo Binghe's biological parents and just follow them around at this point!

Not that he can, now, though, because he has to make sure no negative IQ villains (who will probably just be cannon fodder for a subplot one day) decide to send goons to literally burn down his orphanage. Also if he's gone for too long his kids get upset. Probably because no one else is as weak to their puppy dog eyes and pleas for treats and toys as he is.

At least it gives him time to shore up his position, and train Nephew and Little Yue more extensively in cultivation. Despite his initial assurances to HHP that he was but a humble orphan wrangler who was only incidentally a cultivator, Shen Yuan does also teach the other kids some basic cultivation exercises. There are a few reasons for that.

One is just the principle of the thing. No, these kids don't all have the potential to become great immortals or anything, but they can still learn some of it and it's good for their health if they do. The only trouble is if they try and push too hard or attempt things beyond their range, and that's a risk with everyone who cultivates. Or even just exercises!

Another reason is that it helps stave off the jealousy that some of the kids have towards those with more cultivation potential. Teaching a lot of the basics all around makes it into just another topic at school. Some kids might not be as good at it as others, but those kids might also be better at math, or memorization, or board games, and while cultivation can open more doors to people as adults, for the children this is generally enough to satisfy their sense of fairness. Or at least reduce outbursts and fights.

Finally, the impression that any of SY's kids might be a cultivator also makes wicked people more reluctant to try and abduct or interfere with them. Cultivators are revered and nearly mythological figures in the public consciousness. It isn't difficult to see why, if even a rogue cultivator NPC like SY* can mop the floor with most random muggers (*Shen Yuan is not a normal rogue cultivator). Not many people want to risk bringing SY's ire down on them, but of those who might chance it if he wasn't around to immediately react, even fewer want to risk that the kids themselves could kick their asses.

Not knowing that only two of the orphans probably could in fact mop the floor with them helps keep all the rest safer, and is more believable when all of them can conduct themselves enough like disciples to fool anyone who doesn't know what to really look for.

Developments that surprise Shen Yuan but wouldn't surprise anyone else who is paying attention:

People start leaving unwanted babies and younger children on his doorstep. Not all the time, but more than once has he had to frantically find wet nurses and worry that he's changed things enough that some fishermen might just randomly drop the protagonist outside his gate, and he wouldn't even know because Binghe would be a literal infant??

Nephew (SJ) and Little Yue (Yue Qi -- only Shen Yuan calls him "Little", especially when he gets taller than SY by the time he's sixteen) are prodigies who get really good at cultivation, really fast, and between that and Shen Yuan's OP skills they completely warp Shen Yuan's ideas for what normal cultivation potential looks like. This would probably cause more problems if he wasn't teaching all the kids how to cultivate anyway, but means his students actually do kinda run the usual range of skills for a small sect.

SJ and YQ swiftly reach the point where they need more advanced equipment than just SY's teaching can provide, if they're going to keep building their skills. Gaining access to certain tools, aids, and materials (like spiritual swords) is a real hurdle though, and usually is for rogue cultivators (one of the major disadvantages of no sect affiliation.) Shen Yuan is hesitant to use stuff from the plot, since it's For Binghe, but he eventually caves and starts going after some things that he doesn't think the future protagonist will miss much. He also ends up buying stuff from HHP, since they're willing to sell things like spiritual tools and weapons if the price is right, whereas most other sects like Cang Qiong reserve them for members only.

They get an invitation to the Immortal Alliance Conference. Not the one where the Abyss opens up, obviously, the one where (originally) Shen Jiu reunited with Yue Qi and killed Wu Yanzi. Shen Yuan debates on going but the boys really want to, and things have calmed down enough that no one's trying to burn down the school whenever he leaves these days, so eventually he figures it'll be interesting to see some of the Cang Qiong characters and should be safe enough if he keeps his disciples close.

They don't run into young Yue Qingyuan or Shen Qingqiu on the trip, but Wu Yanzi does show up and get killed, and SY only hears about it and assumes they just missed all that action. (WYZ just got caught by some senior cultivators who recognized him and killed him to avenge some disciples he murdered.) Nephew and Little Yue do meet young Liu Qingge, Shang Qinghua, Mu Qingfang, and Su Xiyan though! Which gives Shen Yuan the opportunity to tell them all (mostly Su Xiyan) that if they're ever in trouble near his school, they can come to him for help. Hint hint.

This open invitation ends up being accepted broadly by a lot of traveling cultivators after the conference, who from then on treat Shen Yuan's school like a free motel whenever they're passing through. Plenty aren't even people SY met, but it seems his statement was taken as a general one to fellow righteous cultivators all around! Luckily, this has some advantages. Shen Yuan has no qualms running off anyone who tries to take unfair advantage of him or especially his kids or staff, and no shame in conscripting anyone who is decent enough to help teach his students, even if it's nothing to do with cultivating, and somehow word gets around and people start bringing school supplies, medicine, food, or other useful things along with them as gifts to help repay the hospitality. Young Liu Qingge comes by a lot on his way to and from various quests, or even seems to just turn up randomly sometimes (he comes to challenge YQ and SJ to fights), and SY's just like "I guess this is happening now" and teaches him to recognize the early signs of qi deviation and advises strongly against meditating in caves.

At one point a young Shang Qinghua turns up in one of the spare rooms, very obviously hiding an ice demon. Shen Yuan again is just like "I guess this is happening now" and shelters them until Mobei Jun has recovered, and sends a message to Cang Qiong that one of their An Ding caravans was attacked and their disciple is recovering under his roof but isn't well enough to travel yet. Much less stressful situation for Airplane (who is desperately trying to figure out what he did to manifest SJ's benevolent uncle from somewhere???)

Su Xiyan seems like the only person they met at the Immortal Alliance Conference who doesn't turn up at their door in a state of emergency at some point.

A few years later, there is a big scandal involving her and the demon emperor. Su Xiyan disappears, Huan Hua Palace accuses Tianlang Jun of plotting against the righteous sects, and Shen Yuan is even invited to the meeting where they try and rally everyone to go kill Binghe's dad. Naturally, he declines to participate in the witch hunt, but the major sects agree to it. By luck (or narrative fortune) Shen Yuan comes across Zhuzhi Lang on his trip back home, and mentions the ambush and his distaste for it (not knowing who ZZL is). ZZL warns Tianlang Jun and the confrontation goes very differently, especially since there's no Yue Qingyuan wielding Xuan Su.

It doesn't go well for the sects involved. Huan Hua Palace gets decimated. The Old Palace Master gets killed. Shen Yuan is like uhhhh that's... whoops? Didn't Luo Binghe need that in the future?? Fuck.

But the sect isn't wiped out completely, they just take a massive beating. Some of their younger disciples end up leaving and turning up on Shen Yuan's doorstep, for some reason. The manor house is becoming too small to account for all of these foundlings! They have to expand. Though the expansions would be a stretch to term a "palace" they end up occupying a much larger chunk of territory, and even investing in farmland and some storehouses to help support the sect. That's still not really a sect, of course. Even if a lot of the business that would have normally gone to Huan Hua Palace starts coming to them instead. Once HHP is back on its feet the stream will probably dry out. Probably?

Zhuzhi Lang starts hanging around. He's actually looking for Su Xiyan or their baby, dead or alive and per Tianlang Jun's instructions, but he uses Shen Yuan's school as base camp for his kind of hopeless efforts to find any traces of them, while also looking for ways to try and repay Shen Yuan. All the kids are just like "oh great, another weird man has fallen in love with Shizun -- someone go run interference" about it.

Some years later, an older woman and her young son turn up. Shen Yuan's off on a quest at the time, so SJ receives them. As is standard procedure he gives the woman a job and places the boy in classes, after giving him the aptitude tests. The kid is cute and precocious, so SJ uses him to distract YQ while he himself sneaks out to go join LQG on a monster hunt (and claim the valuable parts of the beast's remains for himself), and neither SY nor ZZL notice anything until SY's going over the paperwork for stuff he missed while he was gone. Since he procrastinated, it takes him like a week to find out that Luo Binghe is finally under his roof. He's going over the admission form right when SJ arrives with The New Adorable Child to try and distract SY enough that SY will let him go on a solo hunt -- as far as being distracted goes, it is way more effective than even SJ anticipated.

Then he has to figure out how to let ZZL know, so that ZZL can let Tianlang Jun know, so that Luo Binghe will have more family than just his mom and more resources than just a shabby little not-sect! But even once he figures it out and sets up the dramatic reveal, TLJ is just like "great! so can he just stay with you? he's probably fine there" which... irritates SY.

SJ fully conscripts Luo Binghe as a minion in his many cons. He never lost his street kid conman tactics, although he now uses them less as a ruthless survival tool or weapon and more to just get things to go his own way. LBH has the face and disposition of a little angel, which SJ no longer can pull off as a full grown adult, so he fills a gap. LBH also knows full well what's going, especially since a lot of SJ's tactics involve throwing LBH at SY like a smoke bomb.

Luo Binghe inevitably still develops a big fat crush on SY, so this is fine by him. Especially when he gets older, he starts bringing SY tea and making him breakfast and running his errands until even SJ is like "wait a minute, this little brat's stealing my job!" and by then it's too late. Luo Binghe is SY's personal assistant, the disciple at conman puppydog eyes has surpassed the master! While SJ was busy being like "I'm going to trick this idiot into doing my chores" LBH was going "I'm going to trick this idiot into giving me his job".

SY takes too long to officially name his school so everyone calls it the Shen Sect, much to his embarrassment.

Oldest dream would have loved his elder self no matter what.

Kim dokja might hate his younger self terribly, but I think OD must have fantasized about being a good grown up, unlike the others that were around him.

So as long as it is Kim dokja we are talking about, he fulfills the category of someone trustworthy, kind and reliable. (even though a bit mentally unstable)

[so why "monster"? Well, if it really is Kim dokja, then isn't self hate a trait he's always had?]

I'm a firm believer that if Kim dokja had reacted kindly to the revelation of oldest dream, OD would have cried that at least there will come a time when he wouldn't hate himself as much.

whatever man. he loved that story more than anything else in the world and still didn't understand it all that well. this is a microcosm for all human interaction