Subtle As A Brick

fool's gold

part 2, with part 1 included :)

--

“It cannot be stressed enough how dangerous this news is.”

General Madine leveled a flat glare towards the Rebels, who were nodding thoughtfully. Luke wanted to scream. “It appears we as the Alliance have a new enemy—an unknown enemy, one who has yet to strike, but one who will clearly be formidable. After all, look at his father.”

Yeah, huh, what must that be like? Having Vader as a father? Of all the—

“It is our understanding that not even the Empire knows the identity of Vader’s child. Whoever they are, they’ve been kept well under wraps. Obviously, if their identity were to be revealed, they would be in extreme danger. It’s no wonder Vader hasn’t advertised their existence. Being his offspring would come with a myriad of built-in enemies.”

Great. Oh, great. It didn’t help that Leia had murmured agreement to that. Little did the Alliance know that Vader’s enemies were so numerous they technically included his son. Not that Luke was about to share that little fact with the group. He raised his eyes to the ceiling.

“The media is also champing at the bit to find out more. No one knows anything. No one knows the age of the being, no one knows the species—much like with Vader himself, even the most basic of details are a mystery.”

A mystery even to the child himself, Luke thought miserably. He didn’t know anything about his father either. Well, besides the fact that he was (1) tall, (2) dark, and (3) evil, and, oh, that’s right, he’d been Anakin Skywalker once upon a time. Somehow, Luke got the feeling that information wouldn’t smooth over any ruffled feathers.

Why didn’t you tell me, Ben, he thought unhappily for not the first, second, or even thirtieth time. He felt as if he had been led blindfolded, not with a knife to a blaster fight, but with nothing to a, a nuclear event. The information had definitely dropped with the subtlety of a nuclear bomb.

Wedge spoke. “Are we planning to devote any resources to finding them, whoever they are? Or are we just going to wait to see if they make an appearance?” Unsettled murmuring rose in response at the thought of a Vader 2.0 waiting in the shadows. Luke tartly thought that, much like the man himself, the Alliance was going to be disappointed. The last time Luke had pulled out his lightsaber in a fight, he had lost a hand. Catch him repeating that experience again anytime soon. That, and, uh, Luke had all the trained finesse of a wobbling baby bantha foal. He exhaled gloomily.

General Madine sighed. “It’s hard to say at this point. If Vader has trained his child—if that child has Vader’s powers—I don’t have to state that they are an extreme danger to the Alliance and its mission. Vader himself is enough of an enemy for us, let alone Vader doubled.”

Vader doubled—Luke’s mouth dropped open in offense (and a little bit of humiliation at how far Madine has missed the mark as to the threat level), but he clamped it shut before anyone noticed. A moment too late because Leia shot him a funny look. Luke tried to smile at her to cover it but knew from her expression of unimpressed all over that he had probably just looked constipated.

“We’ll keep everyone updated on our strategy,” Madine finished. “High Council is still discussing how we want to approach it.”

“Well, I think the best defense is a good offense,” Wedge muttered, lowering himself back into his seat.

“I’m on the same page,” Madine nodded. “I suspect that’s where the Alliance will land.”

Luke decided he didn’t like the direction the conversation was heading. “I mean, is it really necessary? Vader’s,” barely catching himself before he said son and blew everything to hell, “child hasn’t done anything yet. What if they aren’t a threat?”

They aren’t, he added silently in his head. Not only because Luke’s politics and sense of morals were about as far away as his father’s as possible—forget opposite end of the spectrum, between Luke’s Vader’s lay the entire spectrum, if you asked Luke—but also because…well…Luke didn’t know anything. Baby bantha foal, indeed. Vader could squash him like a bug. Leia could squash him like a bug. Although the thought was unpleasant, embarrassing, and a whole other pile of disagreeable words, Luke presented no threat to the Alliance.

“Luke,” Leia’s voice was patient, which meant that Luke had just said something she considered idiotic but that she wasn’t going to hold it against him. “It’s Vader. Any child of his would almost certainly be a powerful Force sensitive.”

“Yeah, kid,” Han languidly stretched out his feet, having leaned back in his chair during the entire conversation with his characteristic idleness. “I’m with her Worshipfulness on this one. I ain’t eager to sit back and let some nightmare creature of the dark sneak up on us.”

Nightmare creature of the!!—Luke knew he had zero right to be so offended at the entire conversation but also thought sulkily that anyone would be a little insulted. Well, except Vader, probably. Which made Luke wonder for a split second how Vader felt about his general image as a whole, but then he shook off the thought. Anyone who still cared about how they lived at all wouldn’t do what Vader did on a normal weekday.

After a beat, Luke just shrugged in surrender, letting the conversation wind on without speaking again. The Alliance would piddle away resources (Luke had tried to stop them, he really had), and Luke already knew they wouldn’t find anything worth noting. In the meantime, he’d try to live in peace. As much peace as someone being intently hunted by both sides of the war could.

--

“I bet he eats infant limbs for breakfast.”

“Hey, it could be a girl too.”

“I bet she paints her face in blood then.”

“I bet they suck the blood of their victims.”

“Hey, that’s vampires,” Luke objected halfheartedly, speaking for the first time since the Rogues’ conversation had begun. Lunchtimes weren’t as fun lately, not since the news of Vader’s child had swept through the base. Not that anything was much fun after Bespin, but if Luke had learned anything from missions with Han, it was that things could always get worse.

“Yeah, but for all we know, Vader could be a vampire.” The pilot’s mouth was flecked with sauce as he continued. “Mebbe that’s why he wears the suit. Can’t be in the sun.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Luke said flatly, but everyone else was nodding thoughtfully.

“Whoever it is, I don’t envy them,” Wedge commented. “Vader is hardly going to win parent of the year awards.”

It was the first sympathetic comment Luke had heard, and it nearly made him tear up. Finally—

“Not that it matters in the end. The jarra fruit never falls far from the tree,” Wedge took another bite of his sandwich decidedly. “You know, Luke,” he mused, “They probably are aware of your existence, given how Vader has hunted you down.”

Luke stiffened—the remark toed too close to uncomfortable truths, but no one blinked an eye or wandered after the thought to its logical conclusion.

“Yeah, it’s a good thing the Rebellion is searching for them. Vader’s child could be after you too, for all you know,” Tycho remarked. “They might view you as an enemy, same as Vader.”

This—this was ridiculous. “I think I’m good,” Luke said weakly.

“If you say so,” Tycho shrugged. “But given your status as the pilot who destroyed the Death Star and Jedi trainee, whatever you call ‘em, I’d watch my back if I were you.”

Oh, Luke was, but for entirely different reasons than Tycho was thinking.

“Don’t worry, Luke,” Wedge said kindly. “You have us to watch your back. You aren’t going it alone. Vader’s child won’t hurt you, not if we have anything to say about it.”

Luke didn’t know what to say other than thanks.  

Their lunch was interrupted by a summons to a briefing room.

“Gentleman,” Madine greeted, Leia standing beside him. “We’d like to update you on where our search stands. We’ve compiled a list of potential identities for Vader’s child.” A holoprojector flickered to life in the front of the room. “First, we have…”

What followed was an indescribable mix of assassins, warmongers, Imperial hands (Luke noted the red haired one), and various other slightly to very murderous galactic citizens. By the end of it, Luke was simultaneously relieved and insulted. Relieved because the Alliance was nowhere closer to guessing his secret, and insulted because—

Luke blinked. Shifted uncomfortably. Wondered if perhaps he wasn’t getting enough sleep. That had to be it; there was no other explanation for the mysterious disappointment that—

“Luke, are you coming?”

“Yes,” Luke said quickly, leaping up to follow Leia and leave the room and any awkward realizations behind him. This would die down soon enough once the Alliance failed to find anything.

--

Or so he thought, until a month later, when Leia came marching up. “I have news.”

“Oh?” Luke said distractedly, eyeing the fencepost he and Han had been trying to hit with rocks for the past hour. Han had soundly been kicking Luke’s ass. Luke sighed. Destined to suck even at throwing pebbles.

“It’s about Vader’s son.”

That got Luke’s attention instantly. His head snapped towards Leia, who was gazing down at her datapad. Han, for once, leaned forward with interest instead of lazily reclining.

Son? They had already found out it was a son?

“We also weren’t expecting to have so much luck so soon,” Leia responded, Luke realizing he had accidentally blurted his thoughts out loud in a panic.

He rocked back on his feet with a tentative, “That’s good.”  Or not. It was in fact, bad. Very, very bad. But nothing else about Luke’s life was going well for him at the moment, so he just wearily accepted that this was going less than amazingly too.  

“So, what did you actually find?” Han interrupted impatiently. “The kid and I were busy.”

Leia shot him a scorching look, then briskly pulled up something on her datapad. “Our spies in the Empire have informed us that based on communications between Vader and the Emperor, Vader’s child is a boy. Vader frequently refers to him as one.”

Oh, that was all. Luke could have told them that. After all, Luke actually---

Luke shoved down the thought before it took off. He didn’t like anything about Vader. Nothing. Zero, zilch, nada. He would have even told the Alliance Vader's son hated him out of sheer spite, if it wouldn’t blow his cover (? As much of a cover as someone’s real identity could be) apart.

“Huh…welp, one step closer to finding him,” Han meandered to find another pebble, clearly bored with the conversation once it was clear no other information was forthcoming.

“Yes. We’ve managed to eliminate half of our list of potential identities.”

Half of zero was still zero, Luke thought comfortingly.

“You know,” Han said reflectively, “You could cut down the list more by focusing on known Force sensitives.”

Wait—

“We’ve actually already planned on doing so,” Leia’s tone said she wasn’t about to be outdone by Han. “But thank you for the suggestion.”

Wait—

A lazy grin. “Anytime, your worshipfulness. In fact—”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Luke cut in loudly (and desperately).

Both Han’s and Leia’s eyebrows shot up.

“Luke…” Leia began after a beat, “I know this must be stressful for you, knowing that Vader likely has his son after you too—”

“But, kid, I wouldn’t sweat it,” Han finished. “If Vader hasn’t gotten you yet, his son isn’t gonna either.”

Luke didn’t respond. He was staring down at his hand. A silence fell as Han and Leia watched him.

“Vader won’t touch you,” Leia said fiercely. “Never again. He’s scum, Luke. He’s scum, and one day, we’ll defeat him. I know it.”

It should have been comforting. But Luke just felt sick. He knew what Leia meant by defeat. Doing otherwise was unthinkable. Yet somehow…

“Him, and his son,” Han added.

Luke was done. After dropping a curt, “Sure,” he walked off, shaking his head while muttering.  He felt Han and Leia’s eyes on his back but ignored it. They wouldn’t guess the truth. No one had. Luke scowled and kicked at the ground. No one could believe that he and Vader had anything to do with each other. Luke knew he should be delighted, but all he could think of was Obi-Wan telling him how Luke was so much like his father, recalling it with a wistfulness that ashamed him. Luke—he’d wanted—well—

Anyway, that was probably yet another one of Obi-Wan’s lies, Luke dismissed firmly. He was profoundly lucky that he and Vader were so dissimilar; it was the only thing saving his ass right about now.

Still, Luke spent the rest of the afternoon wandering the base alone.

Headcanon that Luke and Obi Wan got the money to pay Han Solo by selling the moisture farm at bargain-basement prices in Anchorhead without telling anyone that it was totally torched, and by the time anyone find out they were well off planet. Luke now has a reputation as one of Tattooine’s most famous con men despite the fact that it was Obi Wan who ran the con.

One of the things that is so much fun about STAR WARS fic is the potential to play with Dark!Anakin (sometimes Vaderkin, sometimes a different version of Sith!Anakin, sometimes just Anakin going down a dark path), where he’s fallen to the dark side, but is still wrapped up in all his issues, just more wild and fey now, more unstable and volatile and it’s so super delicious. ✦ Fire and Ice by Yesac, obi-wan & anakin & some anakin/padme & cast, 111.9k    Anakin wins the duel on Mustafar, but doesn’t kill Obi-Wan. Along with Padme, Obi-Wan finds himself living in a chaotic world where the man he thought he knew has become the thing he swore to destroy. Can Anakin be turned back? If so, what then? ✦ A Walking Shadow by lilyconrad, obi-wan & anakin & padme & luke & leia & palpatine & cast, 74.6k    It is five years into the Empire’s ascension, an order built on the blood and bodies of the Jedi. None survived, they say, and the handsome, icy profile of Lord Vader plastered across every Imperial city leaves no room for doubt in the minds of many. But Vader knows there is at least one left, one that escaped him on Mustafar all those years ago. ✦ Broken by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin & rex & padme & cast, NSFW, sith!obi-wan (sort of), dark themes, 38.6k    The Twins are unstoppable enforcers of the Emperor’s will, the sun and moon that hang in the black void of his rule. It is said they are not the same age and that under their hoods they do not look alike, but they fight as one entity, silent and terrible as an eclipse in a spring sky. ✦ Tenebroso by the_dragongirl, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, sith!obi wan, 1.4k    In the aftermath of battle, Anakin gets a little bit selfish with one of his lovers. Obi-Wan really doesn’t mind. ✦ Finding Balance by moonstone (amythestice), obi-wan/anakin & luke & leia & han & yoda & qui-gon & cast, sith!obi-wan, 27k wip    The Dark side clouds everything, even to eyes that should see through the murk with ease. Darth Sidious has miscalculated, drastically, and the waiting game for his enemies is now at an end, and Balance is at hand. ✦ Soldier, Poet, King by Glare, obi-wan/anakin & qui-gon & mace & dooku & palpatine & cast, sith!obi-wan, NSFW, 95.4k wip    Second chances are very rarely given, but the Force smiles upon two of its favorite children and returns them to a time before their actions have met their consequences. Anakin Skywalker, also known as Darth Vader, seeks redemption while Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, disillusioned with the Jedi Order and its Code, falls to the Darkness. ✦ I, Myself, In You, Together by calicokat + Compromised by cupiscent, obi-wan/anakin + anakin/padme + obi-wan/anakin/padme, sith!obi-wan, 4.3k    Anakin returns from hunting Obi-Wan, and tears Padme’s universe apart. ✦ Bread and Circuses by cupiscent, obi-wan/anakin/padme, sith!obi-wan, 2.8k    The shape of Padme’s life. ✦ Gravitation by calicokat, obi-wan/anakin + obi-wan/padme + obi-wan/anakin/padme, NSFW, sith!obi-wan, 3.4k    Obi-Wan enjoys a respite from his service to Dooku. ✦ Darkside Echoes Part 1 + Part 2 by esama, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon, sith!obi-wan, sith!anakin, 3k    Qui-Gon stares, astonished and dismayed, at the scene taking place beyond the glass. Two Sith, imprisoned at the heart of the Jedi Temple – both of them painfully familiar and yet so very strange. ✦ Custos by jedipati, obi-wan & anakin + background anakin/padme & luke & leia, 5.5k    The Revenge of the Sith went very differently. Now, six years later, Obi-Wan Kenobi guards the Imperial Prince and Princess from hiding, hoping that he will never have to reveal himself. Because if he did- well, he tried never to think about it. ✦ Second Chances by Driverpicksthemooseic (Ratkinzluver33), obi-wan/anakin & han/luke & leia + cast, de-aged fic, 106.3k wip    Leia wasn’t convinced inviting evil incarnate to join them in fighting the Empire was exactly one of Obi-Wan’s brightest ideas. ✦ Everything You Wanted by obaona, obi-wan & anakin + background anakin/padme, 11.3k    A RotS AU. Anakin is now Emperor and has captured ObiWan. But things are never that simple … ✦ Back Drifting by puts foot in mouth, obi-wan & anakin, de-aged!obi-wan, 20.4k wip    After falling on Mustafar, Obi-Wan awakens to the dubious reality of being trapped in the cloned body of his child self, and now has to cope with the reversed father/son relationship fostered upon him by the new Sith Lord.Darth Vader redemption story. ✦ Cruel by Bablefishmouse, obi-wan/anakin/padme & luke, sith!obi-wan, 1.2k    Luke grew up in the Great Empire run by his three parents, Sith Lord Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala. But now he’s nearly an adult, and he wants to learn. ✦ space dementia by wellwhiskey, eventual obi-wan/anakin/padme & dooku, sith!obi-wan, 30.7k wip    AU - Darth Maul survives the Battle of Theed. Obi-Wan succeeds in his quest for vengeance but fails to escape The Dark Side. Anakin goes along for the ride. full details + recs under the cut!

Weiterlesen

mr L is the equivalent to the dance scene from spiderman 3 and we should start treating him as such

-don’t tag as ship-

CWRB Team 3!

I’m super excited to finally post the art I did for @codywanreversebang ! I had so much fun working with the incredible writers, @itsgoldleaf (AO3), @ihathbenobiwankenobied (AO3) and @catfur-and-greenscales (AO3) for this year’s Codywan Reverse Bang! Please check out their incredible fics! (Seriously, their writing is so good! I’m blown away at how amazing each one is! 🥹)

“Rewinding the Skein”

@itsgoldleaf

“A Remedy Painted Blue”

@ihathbenobiwankenobied

“Behind the Scenes”

@catfur-and-greenscales

Fic previews under the cut!

Rewinding the Skein

@itsgoldleaf

The encounter will be lousy and frantic and will come when Ben turns down the alleyway. His face will meet a rough-cast wall and the sunburn will be scraped raw from his cheek. A blaster - no, his mind had touched the outline of something wittier clasped in a damp hand - a *knife* will be pressed into one of his soft places and he will be given the luxury of one breath with which to punch out the futility of this endeavour, that his credits are too few and his life too pathetic to expend the effort of doing him the mischief. Move along, move along.

The shape of the hand that holds the knife is tugging another fibre loose in the hindlands of Ben’s consciousness as he draws back from the stall. He’s seen the creases of that palm before. Another thing he doesn’t remember.

He walks towards the alley. The first sun drops lower.

The footsteps behind him are as loud as the blood in his ears.

A Remedy Painted Blue

@ihathbenobiwankenobied

Ten years.

“Cody?”

The man nodded once, then swallowed.

Then nodded again.

It had to be impossible–had to be a lie. Obi-Wan could still remember his first nights on Tatooine, unable to sleep as he considered all he had lost. He imagined Cody had gone on to serve the Imperials, only to die in the line of duty.

Obi-Wan had mourned him.

After ten years, Obi-Wan had settled himself with the idea of death–the idea that the people he cared about most were long gone.

He had grieved for so long.

“I didn’t think I would find you.”

Behind the Scenes

@catfur-and-greenscales

“Spare any credits?” Obi-Wan stopped on the spot, feeling a cold sensation creeping down his spine.

He knew that voice as he had heard it hundreds of thousands of times.

With wide eyes Obi-Wan turned around and saw a man, not anyone he could say he knew, but those features were more than familiar to him. Perhaps the Force could have provided him more information, but he dared not to use it to reach for the man. It had been ages since the last time, so starting now was not an option.

For a moment they both were just staring at one another, until the rough looking man lifted his bandaged arm, with a helmet. Obi-Wan could not help himself but … There was no facial scar. And there shouldn't have been, since even after everything, the man in front of him was still wearing the colors of the 501st. This man was not Cody. Of course not.

He should have known better to not hope.

But the seconds their eyes were locked felt too long to Obi-Wan. The tension was broken only when the clone just lifted his bucket a little higher and said:“Help a veteran to get a warm meal.”

Obi-Wan wanted to say something, but what could he have said?

So he said nothing. Saying something would have caused him to get engaged to this unknown man. Cursed compassion would have led Obi-Wan to ask questions he had no time to ask while being on an urgent mission.

The few credits he had … this man would have deserved way more than Obi-Wan could have given to him, so withou speaking he searched his pockets and put whatever he could find into the bucket pointed in his direction.

He could not be sure if the man had recognized him or not, but there had for sure been a moment when they both had measured one another.

The Jedi just turned away, his heart beating a bit faster than before. What else was he going to find from this wretched planet?

AU where Obi-Wan dies in a battle, leaving Anakin desolate. His friend, his mentor, the other half of his soul, his everything is gone and without him all the world around doesn't make sense anymore. What is the point of fighting if Obi-Wan isn't by his side? What is the point of clutching to the Light if the anchor that tethered him to the Order isn't there anymore? Only now Anakin realises that he was in love with him all along. Now, when there's nothing to be done about it. Now, when it's too late.

But.

Palpatine says that everything isn't lost yet - that death isn't irreversible like Jedi want him to believe, that there are certain Force techniques which allow to bring back life to the dead.

Anakin is so desperate to have his Obi-Wan back, that he will do everything to ressurect him. Everything. Even if the price of that will be murdering thousands of children.

In a different world,

Han Solo is a sleeper agent working for the empire. Just before the battle of endor he rearranges the attack so he can neutralize the team, and leaves Luke.

Y'know the thing where different kryptonite colors mess with Superman in various ways? How might that be applied to Lexonite/Wordgirl?

Ooooohhhhhh boyyyyyy! I’ve had ideas running around with this since age 8! Mwahahaha!!!!

ITS LITERALLY A WRITER’S FREE SPACE CARD! You can have different colors do whatever you want!! ✨✨✨✨

It’s the best idea ever to have a little mischief. Mwahahaha.

Want an actually evil Word Girl? Sure!

She now is terrified of everything, but doesn’t understand why. But hey! Cool bracelet! And now has to overcome her fears. Yes please!!!

Mr. Big actually mind controls her and there’s no chance of her breaking it without outside help? Definitely!

The sky is the limit! Reuse colors!! Make up your own rules per your au! ITS NEW TERRITORY AND ITS CRAZY! I loooove it!!!!

Post-Episode 5 reaction

So that video with the montage of Obi-Wan 'sneaking' around the Death Star just. Man.

What always gets me is that he isn't even particularly sneaking, he's just wandering around looking confidently lost and just a touch confused. He could just say he's an elderly man looking for the bathroom; his son ranks highly here and brought him along for whatever reason, and he got turned around looking for room his son got him.

Tatooine aged him enough that he could convincingly claim dementia.

He just. He just wanders around. He's barely hiding. I know it's the Force but he's just VIBING. He looks like he barely cares if anyone spots him! He looks like he's almost supposed to be there. Like he didn't see a security cordon and wandered into the employees-only section of a museum, but it's not even the humidity-controlled storage of priceless artifacts, it's the security breakroom. That's the level of out-of-place energy he's exuding. Innocently not quite right.

The Stormtroopers could literally just. Look at each other. Like. Yeah he's probably not some important guy's somewhat addled father, but what if this is like. Tarkin's dad or something. What if they arrest this guy and it's a Moff's dad. Tarkin could get away with bringing his father to the Death Star despite security concerns. What if that's what's going on?

(Joke's on you, troopers, that's Vader's dad.)

More fics where Ben Kenobi gets spotted by a squad on patrol, and just asks if anyone could lead him to the wash closet, letting someone guide him by the arm as if he really is just a nursing home escapee, and then knocks out the trooper and escapes once they've turned the corner and gotten away from the others.