Shit Man, This Mech War Is Fucked. I Just Saw A Doll Shoulder Its Rifle And Say "reality Warp: Black

Oh woah hey there 🐱 I think that was a funny little accident just now. 🐱 You see I was just licking this plate of food left on the counter and you 🐱 pushed my face right out of the way. I think you just did not notice 🐱 my face was there so no worries, I’ll just go back to 🐱 OH you’ve pushed my face away again? Sorry I don’t mean to embarrass 🐱 you but I am in the middle of something here so I will simply just 🐱 You have pushed my face away again?????? 🐱🐱🐱

diary of a tgirl orc mercenary, entry #156:

“dear diary: i stepped in a fairy circle and am now trapped in the fae realm. Thought i was totally screwed but I met a (seemingly) friendly fairy who is helping me find my way. No one has stolen my name as i do not actually have one. Not sure if that will be an issue later. Only real problem is that this fairy keeps hitting on me by calling me ‘the best of both worlds’ and i can’t tell if she means it in a chaser way or a fae realm way.”

"Listen," one guard said, "I know we have only just met-"

"No," the other guard said, "we've worked together for years!"

"-but you can trust me when I say-"

"I can't, you have the curse that's opposite from mine!"

"I don't care for you at all."

"Well, I… oh… I love you too."

what the fuck are these donations man

ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

piplup grain entrapment

circa 1956 - multi-exposure shot