Guy: YOU STUPID BITCH! I FUCKING TUTORED YOU FOR NOTHING?! Me: WELL YOU SUCK AS A TEACHER YA CUNT!

Wait- her neighbor was so unable to mind his own yard, he went to her yard with a leaf blower and blew them away??????

I understand that bit, but what I don't understand is where you got the passum.

gently bap your passum

Hey... That's a good deal. I'm bisexual, I love Hades from greek mythology cause he's the nicest person. I'd be happy to date/marry his daughter.

You are perfectly immortal. You can’t age, you can’t get any wounds, you can survive anything, and even if the universe were to end you are immediately taken to another universe. Not because you are demi-god or a wizard, but because the god of death’s daughter is in love with you.

Me: I'm heading out! I'm making sure this kid is happy! My minon: But boss! The heroes! Me: They can go fuck themselves! I bet so many heroes denided seeing this little kid so now they have to ask a villain! and if the child doesn't have parents, get the adoption papers ready!

You are one of the most dangerous villain in the world of heroes, also known as The Death. One day you received a letter from Make-A-Wish requesting you to visit a sick child.

Here's another boob fact! They get bigger when you're pregnant!

BOOB FACTS

Lopsided boobs are completely natural! in other words the left boob isn't always the same size as the right boob, this is completely normal and you are beautiful

that's actually the only boob fact I have so far I'm trans sorry I'm new to this

As a half white person, I don't like how the Olympics are playing out so far. I only know about the drag queen show and they made fun of the last supper. I'm Catholic and even if I don't take my religion to seriously even though I should, I won't stand for. Everything you said that they are doing sounds terrible.

White people want to make the Olympics white again essentially.

... remind me not to cross you....

Another hero: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET ENGAGED TO A VILLAIN?!?!?! Me: 1. they're hot. 2. We're both ADHD 3. Their rambles are way too cute. How could I not marry them?

A supervillain known for going on tangents during a monologue has captured the hero. The hero broke free of the restraints a while ago but pretends to remain captured to see how off topic the supervillain will get.

This is me for real

Me: THE FUCK IS THE COLOR KERIGN?

Technology has finally advanced to the point where humans can get surgery to see colors invisible to them before. However, this ends up letting them see things humans were never meant to comprehend…