Me In A Gru Costume: And Tonight... We Steal.... THE MOON!!! Little Kids Dressed Up As Minions:*cheering

Me: Seconds aren't a thing. They are a countinuation. At least when it come for food. FEED ME MOTHER FUCKERS!

You’re in line for a slice of cake. The sign says “Absolutely no seconds”, and there are armed guards.

Something that ACTUALLY happened at school Me: No ya idiot! Feminism doesn't mean you hate women!! This kid I'll call by his nickname "Tolo" Tolo: I'm not a feminist, I love women! I'm a misogynist! *raises his fist* Me: *noises of anger*

Rebloging because people like that make me want to give them a slow painful death with my own hands. I also hate how cute the colors look because gross people shouldn't have those cute colors

I am making so many “hey mutuals!” posts but this one is serious and it applies to everyone who sees this post actually. PLEASE REBLOG.

I just had to block someone with this flag as their pfp -

For those who don’t know, this is the MAP pride flag. This flag represents pedophiles.

Please reblog so people know that they are not welcome anywhere. Mutuals I BETTER see y’all reblogging this

Well if it makes you feel better I'm actually starting to draw kinda good now!!!!

can't stop thinking abt my wife. can't stop drawing my wife. can't stop looking 4 more wife content.

Me: *is crying* Demon hunter 1: WHY THE FUCK IS SHE CRYING?! WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO?! Demon hunter 3:*is panik* Demon hunter 2: I'm too sober for this.... *goes to drink alcohol*

Your father is a demon, and your mother is a human. You were raised by her, and only saw your father a handful of times as a kid. Your mom raised you right. You're by all accounts a pretty good person, which is why it was a shock when demon hunters showed up at your door.

yo gang ur likes r public (i dont really care just. yk 👍)

Just fixed it! And I swear to fucking god if you say anything about what you saw I will tell everyone in the girl's locker room you simp for fiction characters...... LOVE YOU BESTIE >30

I'm a girl.... WELL! TIME TO CROSS DRESS! Just let me text my mom so that she doesn't freak the fuck out.

You were just sucked up and abducted by a UFO. The alien inside addresses you, “Is this translator working? Listen. I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for three days so my parents will get off my back about it.”

"I wish I could.... But let me tell you this, not everyone tries to fit into that box. A lot of us are able to grow out of that box, and shove it somewhere else. Making sure, we don't ever fit in it again...."

“You humans confuse me. You try so very hard to be as boring as everybody else, and, when some gifted soul is born that has some small degree of uniqueness to it, you beat and break it until it fits into a dull little box that you can understand. Explain this to me, if you please.”

And don't bury the treasure you find either. You need it to buy supplies. And have a water purifer, but if you can't find one, get booze. Water can and will go bad, so these things will save you from dehydration

I've been seeing a lot of posts about piracy lately and in light of this i do need to say something because I've been seeing a lot of misinformation.

anti-viruses, vpns, ad-blockers- none of these are going to help you here.

the first thing you're going to need is a good solid boat (preferably oak wood). you will also want some cannons and a plank depending on the sort of shenanigans you plan on getting into.

Also! Not once have i seen any of you talking about the importance of citrus fruits and vitamin C. antivirus doesn't prevent scurvy. come on you should know this by now.

this sort of misinformation is wildly dangerous and irresponsible.

The princess who's a bade cook: "I would offer the muffins I made but....." *shows something that looks like if toxic waste and diarriha had a baby* . . . I don't think these are safe to eat, like, at all

"….Okay, are any of the dishes not poisoned?! Is there anyone at this feast who did not poison anything?!"