HOW????

I just hide in a closet

Everyone at the Orphanage is excited because today is Sidekick Adoption Day. A day when the Super Heroes come and pick a new sidekick. You just want to be adopted by a normal family to live a normal life and do everything you can to sabotage being picked as a sidekick.

My cousins didn't come over today but I probably am the gay cousin since I'm bisexual.

if you don't have a gay cousin at your thanksgiving, I am your gay cousin for today. I'm wearing a croptop and I'm excited about cranberry sauce

I feel bad for her. Cause subways are usually loud, and she's hungover.

I know someone who would love these... and he's 2-D! It's..... Warumono-san from Mr. Villain's day off!!!!

Panda Éclair / Panda Roll Cake

Fish, you need to remind us to do something, and it deals with what's in your fish bowl

if you have not drank any water yet today, this is your daily reminder that you are so cute. You're so pretty. Don't let anyone let you think you aren't beautiful. keep sparkling on, superstar

Me: *sees them with blood* Beasty #1: You taught us well! Me: I JUST READ YOU A MURDER MYSTERY! I DIDN'T TEACH YOU ANYTHING?! WHY DO YOU HAVE THE BODY WITH YOU???

You were the caretaker for the mythical beasts of the royal family. Yesterday they decided to replace you with some incompetent noble, before kicking you out of the castle. You then spent the night in a nearby forest. However today you were awakened by the beasts who chose to follow you.

Why?

𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎

*grabs twenty megaphones and sticks them all together* You will soon~ *insert evil laughter*

“These specimens have been conditioned for contact. They’re safe. But if you see them in the wild, DO NOT approach. It’s very dangerous.” “Why? Are they aggressive?” “No, they’re extremely friendly and very playful. That’s why it’s dangerous.”

Oh really? I didn't know.

Me: Immortal! Vampire: FELLOW VAMPIRE!!! Me: NO! I'M IMMORTAL!!!

You are a carpenter for a select community of vampires. You have been working with them for centuries, you just don’t know how to tell them you are not actually a vampire.