*takes The Clothes He Hands Me* "Gramps Did You Really Have To Wait That Long? I Mean I Could've Killed

I feel like it fails and only makes him freak more people out

Me: *is crying* Demon hunter 1: WHY THE FUCK IS SHE CRYING?! WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO?! Demon hunter 3:*is panik* Demon hunter 2: I'm too sober for this.... *goes to drink alcohol*

Your father is a demon, and your mother is a human. You were raised by her, and only saw your father a handful of times as a kid. Your mom raised you right. You're by all accounts a pretty good person, which is why it was a shock when demon hunters showed up at your door.

"You don't understand I'm getting married next week and I don't love the dude" "THEN WHY ARE YOU FUCKING MARRYING HIM!!!!!"

“You have to understand, the use of love potions is both morally gross and legally r-”, you interrupt the alchemist, and say the potion is meant for yourself.

I just hide in a closet

Everyone at the Orphanage is excited because today is Sidekick Adoption Day. A day when the Super Heroes come and pick a new sidekick. You just want to be adopted by a normal family to live a normal life and do everything you can to sabotage being picked as a sidekick.

WE LOVE STOLAS AND ANGEL DUST OKAY?! WHY WOULDN'T IT GET 1K?!

Do you think sinners miss the night sky..?

(Please click for better quality!!)

Me inside my head: Okay how the fuck is this possible?!

You are in court for murder, when your lawyer shows a video of a sports game with you in the audience and proves that you are innocent. However despite having the ticket and the claims of having gone to the game, you actually did commit the crime and have no idea what you just saw on the video.

Bro I feel him on another level. Just boobies, and they don't even have to be sexual, like just something to lay your head on.

i still can’t believe that it’s canon to the manga, absolute king

I wanna read 'em!

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Me when I saw a butch woman:

Hello, this is my favorite word "pneumonultramicroscopicsilicovolanoconiosis"

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

The second longest word in the English dictionary

SPREAD IT FAR AND WIDE FOR NO REASON

OTHER THAN TO MAKE PEOPLE HATE THIS WORD FOR ITS POPULARITY