Hey Chrome, Let's Do This

Like to charge, reblog to cast

I'll murder everyone here if I don't get my dog.

You’ve died and have reached the after life. They are giving you the grand tour of heaven. “Any questions before you decide if your staying with us?” You, “yes just one, where’s my dog?” Them, “ahh yes, we have a strict no pets allowed policy.”

I look like a fucking man

I'm not gonna sugar coat it!!!!!

you're very beautiful.

and yeah,

you're gonna have to deal with that for the rest of your life

Me: I'll get the contract ready...

You’re a demon. One day, you’re summoned into a living room, and an exhausted woman quickly rambles about needing to get to work and being unable to find a sitter before flying out the door. Now, you stand in your summoning circle, a toddler staring wide eyed at you.

The hottest gossip on the royal family.

When the eldest of the royal children was kidnapped and brought to the ritual table to be the new vessel for the cult's god, they seem oddly fine with it. It was in the middle of the ritual that the eldest royal revealed…

Neighbor with a farm: "WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY POTATOES?!" Or Zeus steals the from the store.

Today at therapy was really hard. I was sitting here crying, and generally being miserable, when I felt a nudge at my knee. I looked down to see that Zeus, my service dog, was doing his job… and brought me a potato. it is very hard to cry with a gift of potato.

I know a lot of dumbasses. You need to be specific.

As the Dark Lord is slain, his power escapes his body and finds a new host… in the dumbest person you know.

You fucking know I'm reblogging! I WILL THROW A SHOE FOR YOU ACES!!! I WILL HIT SOMEONE WITH A HIGH HEEL FOR YOU!!!

Reblog this if you support sex-averse and sex-repulsed aces, including:

Aces who never want to have sex

Aces who had sex in the past but don't desire it anymore

Aces with sexual trauma who feel like their trauma ties into their asexuality

Aces with sexual trauma who don't feel like their trauma caused their asexuality

Aces who don't want to talk to you about sex

Aces who don't want to hear about sex

Yes even aces who do not want to engage with any sexual content and don't want it in their own personal spaces

Yes even aces who express the desire to have more spaces for queer adults where their boundaries are met (on top of the queer spaces that exist, we do not want to sanitize your existing spaces ffs)

If you cannot be normal about these people existing, if you believe they're a threat to our community and to how we're viewed by people who aren't aspec and the rest of the LGBTQ+ community, you are not an asexual ally. Yes, even if you're aspec yourself. Especially if you're aspec yourself.

Because it's been pride month for 4 days and I'm already seeing people trying to throw us under the bus or pretend we don't exist because that makes the ace community more palatable to exclusionists and people who swallowed too much "aces are puritans" propaganda.

Demon: HA HA HAAA! Me: So he isn't angry

While reading over the demon’s contract, you realize it was riddled with typos. Notably, ‘soul’ was misspelled as ‘sole’. You thought the demon would be pissed when you handed him 100 pairs of shoes as payment, but he just started to laugh hysterically and clap.

Me: SO SOMEONE WAS ABLE TO GET IN HERE, LEAVE THIS, AND GET OUT?! WHY DIDN'T THEY TAKE ME?!

You’re stuck in a dungeon. you have been in here so long you don’t remember what crime you committed to be thrown in here. The kingdom has long since collapsed, and you’ve been stuck drinking the drips off the walls and eating the rats. One day you wake up to a surprise, a letter and the key.