Bsd Doodles

Sometimes they're annoying, sometimes they're not. A random dump.

Sskk reunion sskk reunion but seriously sskk reunion. They've been separated so long. Last time they met, Akutagawa died to allow Atsushi to survive. And then all the airport mess, and Akutagawa subjugating Jouno, and Atsushi being trapped by Teruko; and then they meet again, but it's not really them, Akutagawa is a vampire, he doesn't recognize Atsushi. They are in the same place, but they're not reunited. Then, Fukuchi dies, Dostoyevsky gets reincarnated in Bram, the airport is turned to rubble; Akutagawa is finally back, but he's still not here. Atsushi is still unrecognizable for Akutagawa. They're still separated. He fights Ame-no-Gozen, he loses, and Atsushi dies for him in turn. He dies for him, because Akutagawa's life is worth dying for even if he doesn't remember him. He dies for him, and Akutagawa gets his memories back, but it's a split second too late, Atsushi is gone already. They're torn apart again.

And it's softly excruciating? Two men being so intertwined and complementary, who only make sense as halves of a same whole, who can only know themselves when they are together, being violently taken apart for so long. Always on the verge of meeting, but unable to touch each other. It must be agonizing, unbearable.

Until Atsushi gets out of the fourth dimension. And he's immediately attacked by Ame-no-Gozen, and Akutagawa saves him. And Atsushi knew that Akutagawa was there, but he doesn't know– he doesn't know that Akutagawa is truly back this time. He tells him “Just the two of us?”, and doesn't know what to expect, doesn't know what he's allowed to hope for. And it's only when Akutagawa delivers the only right answer there there is to it, that Atsushi gets it: he's back. They're back. And he smiles!!!!!!! And he knows nothing else matters!!!!!!! They can face everything together!!!!!!! They faced death twice and they're still there fighting side by side. Isn't!! That!! Insane!!!!!!!!!!

i feel like i need time to process everything but you can NOT tell how happy i am that this is a canon scene that this scene specifically was the trigger for Akutagawa remembering himself no one talk to me DO NOT TALK TO ME

Hey guys!!! What's....even happening in this story at this point.

No, for real though. I'm thinking about Atsushi having some real case of separation anxiety from Akutagawa after the doa events. Before, he would have never, ever expected that losing Akutagawa would have effected him; but the days following his death, before they met again and before Akutagawa came back, where a new hell he never experienced before. Feeling like half of him was physically, violently teared from him, struggling to cope, trying to get used to live with the feeling of missing a piece of himself. A wound his ability can't regenerate no matter how much he irrationally prays for it to. And when Akutagawa is back, like a dream, like a miracle, the idea of losing him again is something debilitating and terrifying Atsushi just can't tolerate. He can't leave his side for even one instant. He wakes up lost and terrified searching around for Akutagawa because he fell again in the nightmare of living in a world where he isn't there. Just yeah

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me

sweet nothings

You know

Sometimes I just love to read a happy sskk fic

Like, I love when their relationship is angsty or messy or complicated, because that is how it is! But sometimes the hurt gets too painful and I adore how tragic they are but I need happiness

Sskk may not be the softest ship, but it's so refreshing to just read a fic where things are...peaceful. There's no miscommunication, there's no death, there's no tears or despair. It's the aftermath, where Atsushi and Akutagawa have learned to love each other without fear

Where they're together and they're happy, where they can wake up next to each other and walk around the city together and give each other goodbye kisses that aren't actually goodbye

When everything's okay

And sometimes, things are so happy it makes you sad anyway. It makes you sad that Sskk is happy together because you know it isn't true, so while it soothes your soul with the fortune, it also reminds you of canon Sskk and how many doors that they can't walk through

I truly do love the heavy, angsty Sskk fics with all the heartbreak and anguish and forbidden, confusing love that they have with each other. But the fics where they're together, and they have sweet nothings shared between each other is also so wonderful, where things are soft and magical and it's all okay still have a place in my heart

I love the perspectives of their relationship from both sides

shin soukoku are so imperfect and that is what makes them so good. what do you mean you hate this guy because he’s like looking in a mirror, but you can only see what you deemed as the flawed parts of yourself. what do you mean you are always putting up some kind of front around other people but you can show your enemy the worst and truest version of yourself. what do you mean you are so far into your rivalry that even dying for each other becomes a competition.

What do you think Gin, Tachihara, Chuuya and Higuchi's reactions to Akutagawa dating Atsushi would be?

gin: really happy for him honestly. their brother has found someone he really loves and who really loves him!

tachihara: "yeah sure he's dating someone that's great I guess. am I supposed to say more???" also salty that akutagawa has a boyfriend but he's still single

chuuya: also happy for him! atsushi is a good kid. not the biggest fan of akutagawa dating a member of the ada though because that means... one or both of them might have to see dazai.....

higuchi: sobbing and devastated for the entire first week after she hears the news. and then immidiately after that she gets over it and is the #1 sskk supporter