Akutagawa Does Give A Fuck. Like. A Lot.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64362169

Wrote an indulgent sskk oneshot where Atsushi finally gets to ask Akutagawa why he saved him :>

good and cool and normal thoughts in my brain about sskk. as always

imagining them post-canon is always a time but right now I'm specifically thinking of ways they would show trust to each other. because they would absolutely, absolutely trust each other more than anything.

i have a few interesting thoughts on how they would show trust.

one is clothes as trust-- akutagawa's form of vulnerability. not wearing his coat around atsushi, or letting atsushi borrow it. not feeling the need to wear long sleeves or layers. being around atsushi means he doesn't need to be on guard, ready to tear somebody apart with rashomon in an instant. it doesn't feel like he's exposing himself to be killed if he wears lighter clothes, less clothes, no clothes at all. because being around atsushi is inherently safe to him.

one is food as trust-- atsushi's form of vulnerability. food was something he was rarely given as a child, and it's something that he wouldn't share. it's too precious. but he would get food for akutagawa, share food with him, save some of his own food for akutagawa to eat. and akutagawa would do the same. akutagawa isn't going to let him starve. he'll eat his part of a shared meal and let atsushi have his. if atsushi gives akutagawa some of his food, he trusts that some other day, akutagawa will give atsushi some of his. he doesn't need to live in fear that he won't eat again, because he trusts that akutagawa won't let that happen.

and lastly, rest. sleep. sleeping next to somebody is one of the most vulnerable things you can do, especially for atsushi and akutagawa, who were in danger throughout their childhoods. sleeping means you can be killed. sleeping means you are unaware. sleeping means you can be betrayed. to close their eyes, let alertness of their surroundings slip away, feel sure that the other won't hurt or kill them, maybe even that the other will hold them gently... that's the sort of trust they'd have.

No, for real though. I'm thinking about Atsushi having some real case of separation anxiety from Akutagawa after the doa events. Before, he would have never, ever expected that losing Akutagawa would have effected him; but the days following his death, before they met again and before Akutagawa came back, where a new hell he never experienced before. Feeling like half of him was physically, violently teared from him, struggling to cope, trying to get used to live with the feeling of missing a piece of himself. A wound his ability can't regenerate no matter how much he irrationally prays for it to. And when Akutagawa is back, like a dream, like a miracle, the idea of losing him again is something debilitating and terrifying Atsushi just can't tolerate. He can't leave his side for even one instant. He wakes up lost and terrified searching around for Akutagawa because he fell again in the nightmare of living in a world where he isn't there. Just yeah

oh he loves him

OH HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH

Something about how Atsushi can trek through the past and the future when all he wants is to go back home to the Agency.

And it’s the one place he can’t go.

Exactly! Atsushi's a hugger, so him hugging Akutagawa wouldn't even be a stretch

Especially since it would be relationship development from how Akutagawa used to say "don't touch me" to him

Also Atsushi doesn't just hug, he basically tackles, so considering the fact that Akutagawa would be tired af from fighting, if Atsushi did end up hugging him he would probably knock Akutagawa to the ground lol 😭

Yk, with the eventual sskk reunion, them hugging is 100% a real possiblity

Right after Ranpo and Poe kidnapped Kunikida from the hospital and brought him back, Atsushi literally leaped and hugged Kuni

I think he'd hug Akutagawa when he sees him again (or maybe vice versa if Akutagawa really is that emotional now)

Both sides of sskk can't even deny their feelings now, it's amazing development

If we ever do get blessed with a sskk hug in the future, I will have a heart attack from happiness

I didn’t know you had a tumblr!! I love your fics so this is such a treat to find you here <3 your art is super cute!

AAAA HIII :DD

Yeah I never tagged my Tumblr on my ao3 acc lol 😭 I might in later fics though

And it's great to meet you too on Tumblr!

Thank you so much<333 that means a lot to me (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

I feel like I just had to share this. This is Edward and he's a uh, teapot spider? Who knows 😔

I really like him though he's so creepy it's cute

Is that sskk fic recommendations I feel in the air? :0

I love the title card omg and I will be bookmarking every fic on this list bc damn, some sskk is truly needed (without sskk I assume I would spontaneously combust)

(yes i had fun with the title card)

The time has come to complete my legacy.

First off, I highly recommend stopping by the list I made some time ago, because those turned out to be timeless classics, must-reads: clicky here click. Special thanks to @beegowhoosh and @mikayuumouse for inspiring me to update this one! If that list feels overwhelming, my personal favourites are: All The Memories Of You by collectingblues, waiting room by srxlee and enshroud me by @lost--dimension; my silly words are just not enough to recommend those enough, truly changed my brain chemistry.

yokohama bay hotel by spirallings [Words: 9.5k | Chapters: 1/1 | T]

Honestly, inject this fic in my bloodstream, I got emotional just opening it and rereading the first line to write this review. Social media AU with vlogger Aku who one day finds Atsushi’s music channel, reaches out to him to express his highest admirations, and the rest is a beautiful story of building trust, friendship and falling in love. Immaculate narration, easy flowing and so heartfelt, had me smiling (and crying but shh) throughout the whole thing. A unique storytelling style through the occasional tweets, texts, emails and subtle descriptions of the scene, mixed with classic narration, strikingly in-character dialogue and songs. Just open it to see what I mean, it is genuinely like nothing I’ve read before and I hold this story very close to my heart. There is also a 150 songs playlist that goes with the fic, def some bangers in there.

and the funny thing is i would have married you (if you had stuck around) by cheezee [Words: 11k | Chapters: 1/1 | T]

Time travel and reincarnation, a tragic (but hopeful nonetheless) story following Akutagawa’s death on that ship and Atsushi traversing space and time to find him again, and again… and again… with the cursed fate taking his love away from him. It’s an emotional ride of happiness and melancholy, hope and despair, broken promises and lost memories. This reads as a classic tale of love, personally reminds me of a greek tragedy, and the writing is impressively poetic, simply pulling on the heartstrings.

...I wanna be next to you by Iyrs [Words: 2k | Chapters: 1/1 | G]

(i am definitely not biased because I made art for this, no sir) Wonderfully tasteful narration and the softest words of comfort, beautifully showing how much their relationship has progressed, the trust and ease and emotional vulnerability. There is one particular most domestic scene that lives in my mind rent-free, trust me and give this a quick read.

the plan (YOUR FINGERS) by lizandre [Words: 5k | Chapters: 1/1 | T]

I’m gonna struggle a lot to explain this one lol (if the trust me bro argument is not enough). I could personally not find a better word to describe the style of writing than simply genius. If I may quote the author from the summary, this is a story of how “Akutagawa Ryunosuke loses it entirely.” It has the humor, it has the pain, it has the classic psychoanalysis that every good fic has of course. Basically Aku not realizing the emotional turmoil he’s experiencing is not being possessed or mind controlled or going mad, but simply falling in love. And Atsushi being the voice and hand of reason to get him out of his madness. Aku here is as unapologetically dramatic as any theatre kid could be, 10/10, not even trying. Just straight up check everything this person has written imao, this fic is just one of many masterpieces.

Safe Underground by forget_me_nots [Words: 25k | Chapters: 5/5 | M (Violence, Main Character Death)]

This one is a hidden gem, severely underrated, criminally low exposure. It is an AU based on the videogame Lobotomy Corporation (that I actually had no knowledge of, but you don’t need to know it to enjoy the fic at all). Horror, gore and panic with close to zero comfort, grief of death and living nightmares. The style of writing is extremely skillful, with meaningful repeating motifs and metaphors. All of the characters are incredibly well-written and the growing friendship between our main duo in circumstances of utter tragedy is as enjoyable to read as ever. Pay attention to the coffee.

Moonlit Resurrection by june_berry [Words: 143k | Chapters: 16/? | E (Violence, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat)]

And while we’re on the theme of madness! I need to take a deep breath for this one. Incredibly depressing story on existentialism, trauma and self-destruction, told by poetic writing like no other. To quote the author: “Atsushi is hit by an ability that sends him spiraling. Forced to confront his traumatic past or die in two weeks, Atsushi begrudgingly teams up with the man he hasn’t seen in years: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke.” The highlight of this fic is honestly the narration style itself, it delves deep into Atsushi’s and Akutagawa’s minds and perfectly encapsulates their own deteriorating psyche. Deeply introspective. This was, strangely enough and despite the lack of comfort, a healing experience for me, basically a "Hey you see what happens to Atsushi when he got depressed, maybe don't do that." Worked wonders, truly. But be careful if you’re not in a good state of mind because it may have the opposite effect. Also cannot forget to give fair credit to @the-bengali-diva for incidentally introducing me to this one, they’ve even made paintings for the fic! Thank you truly, I would have never found this masterpiece alone!

Of Monsters and Men by Mississippi_moon [Words: 32k | Chapters: 18/18 | T]

On a brighter note! Mercenary Akutagawa failing to assassinate Atsushi, the Prince of Yokohama (and of course slowly falls in love with him instead). Made me smile and laugh and clutch my chest so many times, I just couldn’t put it down [also kindly named my google docs analysis for this “the royal dopamine injection*, i hope that says something on its own]. Very good humor mixed with equally good torture and suffering (and fluff and comfort!). The progression of sskk’s relationship is fantastic. Oh and Atsushi is a badass, that’s very important, long live Boldsushi.

Ma meilleure ennemie by @falloutjuli [Words: 13k | Chapters: 1/1 | M]

I swear I keep stumbling upon this author by accident without realizing I know them and I keep being blown away by their work. If the Arcane reference title is not enough for you, this is a little story about Aku and Atsu being thrown into an unforeseen Parisian vacation, where they dance and get that 'oh, oh' moment. Absolutely perfectly in-character dialogue, with many funny and even more heartfelt moments, all spiced up with the classic sskk banter.

So let us stop talkin' falsely now, The hour's getting late by FallOutJuli (again) [Words: 17k | Chapters: 1/1 | T]

This story made me so happy, an instant fix for a bad day at work that I still remember and am grateful for. Slow burn 1920s AU with reporter Atsushi and singer Akutagawa, great banter and even greater collaboration between those two, gradually growing closer and learning they can trust and be good for each other, both finding a muse in the other.

all is finally quiet by @aurorahrt [Words: 2.5k | Chapters: 1/1 | M]

“Did you,” Akutagawa breathes, gasping as Atsushi presses the palms of his hands into Akutagawa’s shoulders, “know you were going to live?” “No,” Atsushi whispers, leaning close, eyes sharp. “I had a feeling, but… no. Did-,” “No.”

There is simply no better collection of words to express my feelings than this quote. Please read this if you need something to soothe your heart after chapter 121.5, or just in general for an introspective character study focused on the ever so complicated relationship of sskk, flourished with beautifully written domestic fluff, anxieties and quiet comfort, soft kisses and even softer words of reassurance. I am almost tearing up again just writing this silly tiny review, those two have my heart and more.

And that’s a wrap, see you in another half year when I possibly sort through 100 fics more! All of the above mean a lot to me, so please check them out if anything from my passionate ramblings catches your eye. And go give the authors some love, they’re doing god’s work here <3

Leader Of the Sheeps, Chuuya Nakahara 15 :3