Mikayuumouse - Mikayuumouse

you’re losing me - taylor swift

jolts upright I've just had a realization. how much did atsushi think about when akutagawa died? how much did he replay it in his mind, go over every detail again and again? how much did he mourn it, grieve him? how many times did he recall akutagawa's last words? because for atsushi to be able to, in a split second, as he *dies* and everything around him has already gone to shit, recall what akutagawa said to him, and repeat it back? it must have been constantly.

Okay so first of all

OH MY GOD?? THE NEW CHAPTER??

Second of all

Did Asagiri really name this chapter "A Mysterious Thing Called The Heart" AND THINK WE WOULDN'T NOTICE

Atsushi died FOR AKUTAGAWA. I'M GONNA PASS OUT

No one does tragic love story like sskk does

Atsushi must have thought about Akutagawa's death over and over and over to remember the words he said to Atsushi right before being killed by Fukuchi, aND THEN HE SAID THOSE FINAL WORDS BACK AT AKUTAGAWA

Akutagawa's eyes says it all (they're in love)

Akutagawa didn't even remember who Atsushi was and what made him remember was Atsushi mirroring the sacrifice he made back on that ship and then right as he recollects who Atsushi is he DIES. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster

Also can we talk we talk about how Akutagawa screamed "Jinko/weretiger". The amount of worry and fear on his face is so evident and insane (thank you Harukawa for more of your gorgeous art). He CARES about Atsushi. I gotta sit down

Screaming crying throwing up I'm so happy and also shit, Atsushi died (sorta. It'll be fine, probably) 🙏

I found this in my camera roll I don't even remember making it lmfao 😭

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUUYA MY FAVORITE PORT MAFIA EXECUTIVE<33

I didn't draw Chuuya anything for his birthday sadly 😔 but happy birthday, chibi :]

Akutagawa really likes wrapping Rashomon around Atsushi's neck...

atsushi—the one to finally understand akutagawa’s humanity. now seeing his backstory, witnessing the lowest moments of akutagawa’s life—when he was most dehumanized—through his own eyes. someone finally seeing them for what they truly were: tragedy, relentless abuse, the suffering of a wounded child. no more the image of a heartless beast. no more “this is what needed to happen.” no more “this was the only way akutagawa could have learned.”

as someone who has seen the depths of akutagawa’s heart, as someone who has brought change within him through trust, sincerity, and companionship. as someone who treasures akutagawa’s humanity and fights for it—begging him not to lose to himself, because now, atsushi equates akutagawa with that humanity. he would die before letting him surrender to its erosion—and he did sacrifice himself for it.

as someone who, when akutagawa fully reveals that deeply human side of himself, embraces it so completely that he replicates that moment in his own sacrifice.

and now, he watches as akutagawa’s humanity is torn down, again and again. but he is someone who understands—down to the depths of his heart—that akutagawa’s humanity is inherent. that no matter what anyone else, even the narrative itself, wants him to believe—nothing can take that away.

@mi1ikan Bsd analysations are scary but also amazing

Doing my usual "lets go back and read random BSD chapters" and I can't help but notice how different Fyodor is now to when he was first introduced.

I've made a few posts pointing out how Fyodor and Dazai have similar panels, but I'm starting to think he's actually mimicking Dazai's mannerisms on purpose now.

I don't have a lot of canon proof other than, ~a feeling~, I get looking at him, so consider this a headcanon rather than a theory.

Warning Manga spoilers under the cut!

Like, Fyodor, why does this keep happening??? Fyodor's versions of these poses also all happen later in the manga than Dazai's versions.

Now, there's the argument that Fyodor wasn't there for half of these, but we do know he's a hacker and he was obsessed with Dazai for a time. I do believe he would just sit there watching Dazai's movements on cameras to learn his patterns and habits in the name of defeating him.

Compare how he holds himself now, to how he did when he was first introduced.

He's a shut in who bites his nails, doesn't take care of his posture or appearance. He's so used to being behind the curtains he's off putting to be directly around.

Whereas Dazai is a chameleon, he blends in anywhere he goes. If I was an immortal so out of touch with my own humanity and basic identity, I probably pick someone to mimic their behaviours too.

Ironic that he choose the man who doesn't consider himself human to learn from.

I'm also drawn to this panel specifically.

(Very suspicious choice of words there, considering the current manga arc, but I digress)

Typically when we think of vampires, we think of blood sucking immortals, but the vampire we have in BSD is based of Dracula. Dracula specifically poses the question of "What if vampires stole who you are as well?". The idea that you can't consume someone's very life without having their soul linger on with you.

The Count learns to blend in with modern society through Johnathan, from learning from him and by feeding off him. Mina, Renfield and Lucy all slowly lose who they are the more influence the Count has over them.

This panel says he's soulless, he's 'empty', he's a vampire waiting to steal someone else's soul to fill him up. Now, that could be a hint at what his ability turned out to be, but it could also mean how he's mimicking Dazai.

But why mimic Dazai?

Well, simply put, he was the only one Fyodor saw as an equal and we know he wanted a companion who he considered to be his equal. So why not make himself more like the man he wants at his side. To obtain Dazai, he became Dazai.

Problem is Dazai hates himself, he also seems to dislike any character that's convinced they are the same. (Note: Not characters Dazai sees himself in, like Atsushi, but characters who insist to him that they are the same, like Mori and Fyodor)

It was a doomed plot from the start.

However, Dazai is no longer his goal. Atsushi is. Fyodor knows Atsushi greatly admires Dazai, so continuing to mimic Dazai's mannerisms to connect them together in Atsushi's mind could be part of his plan now.

Redraw & color study ✨️

MY BELOVED KUNI AHHH 🛐