Guys, He's In A Bisexual Crises.

"He is Jason Todd. Make no mistake. It is him"

"It's meaningless"

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No place, indeed, should murder sanctuarize; Revenge should have no bounds. - Hamlet By William Shakespeare - But is also a confession of

One of the bats has to go undercover as a patient of a particularly suspect new and upcoming therapist. Bruce already has a backstory fleshed out and a cover identity, but that's no fun now is it.

Dick: Okay, the bat council is now in session. First things first-

Steph: I'm the realest.

Jason: Shut the fuck up.

Dick: No, no arguing. We're here on a MISSION.

Tim: That's right, a very important mission.

Dick: One of us has to go undercover as Dr. Hoffman's patient. But why? Why are we seeking therapy?

Tim: Wrong answers only. If any of you get too real, Dick can and will find you a real therapist.

Dick: And Tim, no superhero related answers. Bernard's PowerPoint nights give you too much of an advantage.

Tim: You're just jealous I know that Batman is actually a tulpa.

Jason: You shut the fuck up too.

---

Dick: Okay, I'll go first to get the obvious answer out of the way. I'm going because I'm secretly Batman, BUT I'm not here about that. I just have incredibly selective amnesia and can't remember the code to the Batmobile.

Jason: Oh that one's good. Let me think.

Steph: Hoffman is a man, right?

Dick: Right.

Steph: Easy, I'll claim womanly problems. Maybe get prescribed a vibrator.

Tim: *wheezes*

Dick: Ok Gotham's in the dark ages of psychology but not THAT much.

Steph: Spoilsport. Fine, I'm Batman's long lost twin sister.

Duke: Come on, we can't all go to therapy because of Batman.

Jason: I don't know, I feel like all of us should go to therapy because of Batman.

Cass: I'll go because I'm Batman.

Jason: I'd vote for you.

Duke: I think I would go because Metropolis isn't real.

Tim: Like, the whole city is-

Duke: It's a conspiracy. The government wants us to think there's this wonderful city where nothing bad ever happens and an actual alien from space saves the day. Tries to make us buy into some utopian bullshit.

Tim: Hoffman's just going to drive you there.

Duke: Ha! He's not getting ME to a secondary location. He might be in on it.

Steph: Compelling, definitely compelling. I nominate Duke's for first place.

Jason: Don't jump the gun.

Tim: Yeah, you haven't heard ours.

Steph: Well? Let's hear it then.

Tim: I'm an alien spy, sent here to study humans. Only I'm not doing well because I was taken in by rich people and they act weirder than me. I want to know what it means to be human, but whenever I look around all I see is how to make a good margarita. It makes me... sad.

Steph: That's no good. We said wrong answers only.

Jason: Solid four out of ten.

Tim: Fuck off.

Jason: I think I would go because I was convinced I was the second coming of Jesus which is all fine and good, but my whole family is Jewish so it's making things a little awkward at the dinner table.

Steph: You did come back from the dead.

Jason: I did and I'll tell him that. Took a little longer than three days this time, though.

Tim: Okay, I'll be honest. Jason and Duke's are the best.

Dick: Hold on- Damian, do you have an answer?

Damian: Of course. And not one so foolish.

Duke: Well?

Damian: Well, my whole family is comprised of vigilantes and I'm under a lot of stress to be one as well and continue the family tradition. I will of course swear him to secrecy and avoid naming any vigilantes by name.

Dick: ...

Jason: This is what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm-

Dick: Yes, okay. Game's over. All of you are getting psych referrals in your inbox by the morning.

Steph: What about-

Dick: Duke won.

When your sidekicks grow up to be real heroes...

GIF version (low quality) under:

I want Jason to start crying during therapy and for his therapist to tell him very sincerely that they're really glad he can still cry, that most men in his position would have cut themselves off from that vulnerability and they're really proud of him and for Jason to just cry harder

can we get aro books with people who arent sad at all actually about not having crushes or being aro thatd be great

Shout out to Jinx for knowing what’s up 🙏

when the dying place is lonely

thinking about dick grayson who used to braid his mom’s hair before their shows

thinking about him growing his hair out, and doing those same braids before going out as nightwing

thinking about him asking anyone with long enough hair if he can braid it, about him doing the same braids his father used to do for his mother on kori and babs

one day he finds steph crying in the batcave and takes her into the manor. he sits her down in front of the couch and sits behind her and tells her to put on a movie. then he starts to brush her hair and braid it

it’s his love language, it’s just unfortunate the rest of his siblings have short hair.

when tim grows his hair out (which definitely didn’t have anything to do with this haha…) dick is so happy and braids his hair any time he sees him

when he was younger and bruce sometimes took him to JL meetings, he’d ask diana if he could braid it (she always said yes ofc) and sometimes he’d ask arthur who was so honored every time

bruce, glaring at arthur as 11 y/o dick braids his hair because he is Jealous and now seriously considering growing his hair out: Hn