WangXian Pokemon Au!!!

Through the shenanigans of GZ/IR portals Danny ends up in a completely different dimension (DC’s my preference) that has heroes. There’s no ghosts to fight and he doesn’t want to step on any toes with this dimensions hero population, meaning Danny Phantom gets a vacation.

( I like to think Danny fought the ghosts in Amity because he opened the portal and felt responsible for it and originally there wasn’t anyone else that really could fight them. If he still has to satisfy an obsession while there he now has time and an entire new star system to learn about. )

Danny somehow ends up at a job interview as a food delivery boy accidentally, it’s definitely not 100% above the table because he doesn’t legally exist there but still gets the job.

Things are going well, he’s doing a good job and making his delivery’s on time via the use of ghost powers on occasion. Eventually he gets a delivery for a completely different city, over two hours away, they’re willing to pay a ton to get it delivered to them. Danny decides to see if he can finish the delivery while the foods still hot.

He gets there in under 10 minutes.

The person that made the order is definitely a hero, and when they got their food two hours early freak out. Asking Danny how he did it. Danny looks them dead in the eyes and says “We have a delivered hot guaranty.” They try to question Danny, but Danny already got paid, he gave them their food, he can leave, so he just walks away and tells them to enjoy their meal.

The hero tells other ones and they decided to order from there as well and get told that when ever Danny’s on shift the delivery range doesn’t have a limit. Obviously they test it. He delivers to a random rooftop in Bloodhaven at 2am. The top of the Dailyplanet. Hong Kong, via a Blackbat/Orphan order. The Titan’s Tower some how.

Eventually someone orderers to one of the places that’s almost impossible to get to, but he does it, he delivers to the watchtower, in space. Just shows up in the middle of the room in front of the person that ordered, and goes “I don’t miss deliveries.” And walks away into space.

Shopping for laptops fucking sucks ‘cause I don’t know shit about computers. I’ve never had a computer with a functional webcam or microphone or the ability to play computer games made later than 2005 or a speaker that could play anything loud enough to hear from more than a foot away. How the hell should I know what I want?!

you’re hearing it more and more

I was at our local bakery recently and came across a loaf of bread quaintly branded as a “Peasant Loaf”. It was selling for over $6—the irony of this was not lost on me. 

In retaliation I have decided to post what I actually think of as a peasant loaf, but with the luxury of finely ground modern flour which is less likely to break your teeth because actual peasant loaf bread is like chewing rocks unless you’re soaking it in soup or stew. 

This is a very simple loaf, it requires no special tools and is a fairly forgiving dough for beginners to work with. Also it has the added bonus of looking like an expensive artisan loaf, but costs literal pennies to make once you invest in the basic ingredients.

So what do you need?

Ingredients:

Plain flour (or wholewheat if you prefer)

One sachet of active dry yeast.

Salt.

Water.

Tools:

Bowl

Mug

Prep and bake time total: 2 hours 45 minutes.

Yep, that’s it. You’ll notice that there’s no quantities listed up there, and that’s because you’ll be using the mug to measure everything. This helps to make sure your quantities are consistent, and means that so long as you have a mug and your ingredients, you can make bread. Heck you don’t even need a bowl, it just makes clean up easier.

Again I had Elusive Tumblr Dad help me take the photos so be warned this is going to be fairly image heavy under the cut :D

Step One: Gather your stuff.

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i desperately need like a canopy bed or a tent bed or an in-wall bed or something i need to be tucked in i need to be protected from the elements i need to be in a little hole in a den in a nest im just a prey animal trying to get by

Call Back A Warning AU

"Which branch of the US military did you say you were again?" Ukyo asked, timidly.

The man sitting across from him with his spine deadly straight stared him down, "Special Forces." He repeated what he had briskly said when they first met.

"Yeah, but is that like the Marines, or...?" Ukyo fumbled for an answer Stanley Snyder was not benevolent enough to give him. Okay then.

Everything about this was strange. A random Japanese sonar operator wasn't reassigned to a top-secret project that multiple nations were cooperating on. Not without much drilling and warning.

Yet he had received none of that. Just a rushed verbal handover. And now he was in the care of this crack team of soldiers, flying to Houston, Texas.

A landlocked city was a strange place to require a sonar operator's presence. So it definitely had to do with something that Ukyo might be able to do for them.

"Any briefing you need to get done?" He asked, hopefully.

Snyder looked away, "I don't think I'm cleared to talk about it."

It was when they made landfall that he finally got more context than what his anxiety-filled nerves cooked up.

"Ah, the second General, brilliant!" A man with a white pompadour greeted him the second Ukyo walked out of the jet.

"I'm just enlisted..." Ukyo tried to correct, only to be cut off.

"Not what I meant. I'm sure Stan didn't think of explaining the situation to you?" The man asked, pulling out a briefcase, "We would've taken more time, but once he made landfall and located you, things got more dire."

He opened the case to reveal a stone statue of a swallow. Ukyo remembered a picture of a whole flock left decorating a tree on his feed in the one second he got to check his phone.

"This is a warning shot." The scientist explained, cryptically.

And then, much less cryptically: "We want you to go to space."

"What." His ears had apparently chosen this exact moment to fail him.

"You'll be accompanied by a student of mine, and a young man I'm assured has remarkable instincts that we are currently trying to contact. We'll explain more at the JSC, but time is running drastically short-" The man continued to talk.

"Xeno, you can't just spill state secrets in the open like this." Snyder frowned, guiding Ukyo along into an SUV anyway.

"Please, Stan, anyone with working braincells can piece together that these are real birds." Xeno scoffed, "And the radio transmission from the future? It doesn't belong to the state."

Snyder had the gall to laugh for the first time since Ukyo had met him, "Alright, you fucking commie. Kid, any pressing questions you wanna ask?"

"You know there's a difference between a submarine and a spaceship, right?" Was his first, panic-stricken question. Before he cringed and backtracked, "Also. Everything. I need to know everything. Been underwater for a really long time."

*slams the door open, eyes manic* Sovereign State!

A Sovereign State: "International law defines sovereign states as having a permanent population, defined territory, a government not under another, and the capacity to interact with other sovereign states."

The USA already HAS several that exsist within its boarders? And there was that Gay Island of Australia (no really, look it up.) There is a LONG history of humanity going "well fuck you too then, I'm leaving. But also I refuse to leave. I am METAPHORICALLY leaving." *leaves your country and makes their own*

And??

Where's the FUCK were you? Mr. President? During that INVASION by Pariah Dark??

No, really. Social contracts, my dude. That is WHY you have AN ARMY. For INVADING FORCES.

You ALSO have declared us, your citizens, non-sentient and stripped of us our Constitutional Rights WITHOUT hearings, studies, or any due processes. Not to mention just desecrating the dead like it's NOT a well known religious and moral taboo. AND attacking out dead family members! The list goes on!

Why do we pay you taxes, if YOU are the active threat to us AND you offer us no social services?? You've all but cut Amity off anyway!

.......*Takes our ball and goes home* FUCK IT.

They are literally Limnals. It's a TOWN OF METAS. Can you honestly tell me that they WOULDN'T look at the Ecto-Acts and just think: "Yeeeeeah, how about No. Hard Pass."

You can have your INCREDIBLY stupid and offensive law. In OUR country, that's illegal. "We can't do that?" Yes. We can. We informed you in a Formal Document, which you received, you had the opportunity to STOP us, you did or could not, AND we got Regonized by another government.

It's a Ghost Goverment. We, the city state of Amity, were recognized by like... going on 23 at this point. We have a list. All Ghost Goverments, too. Sucks for you that you don't recognize those, they've decided not to recognize YOURS back until you do.

Politics, baby~

Aaaw D:> Does the Upset Baby wanna call, Superman? Boo Hoo. Somebody's forgetting the Justice League serves EARTH, not AMERICA. Suck on a lemon and die mad about it. Better not come back as a Ghost though! Your Goverment will declare you a lab specimen!

Now if you'll excuse us, WE have interplanetary trade routes. Because WE can use alien tech from our Ghost Buddies. And the Fenton Anti-Creep Barrier means you can't do SHIT. So *large crowd of teenagers making rude noises at frustrated government officials*

*Justice Leauge taking picture in the background* You're doing great sweeties! Aquaman is? So proud of the younger generation? They really are the future, you guys. Can he come in?

Oh of COURSE, your Majesty! *somehow ONLY Aquaman is able to get past the barrier, much to the impotent fury of the GIW and various officials*

@hdgnj @stealingyourbones

what if link got his own secret stone in totk??

i love mask of truth, it let’s you read dogs thoughts

Milk club tho

Added sound effects to this AMAZING animation by https://www.instagram.com/xabier.u/ with their permission… and I had a lot of fun doing it!