Just Saw A Comment That Said In That Moment Akutugawa Realised Someone Thought He Deserved To Live.

Racism isn’t saying an uncomfortable word. Racism is every news media reporting on the individual lives of the 33 adult settler hostages to be released in Phase 1, and not one mention of the 100+ Palestinians, 25 of whom are children, that Israel has murdered since announcing the ceasefire. They’ll try to kill as many as they can before Sunday.

Magazine covers for an Akutagawa model AU I'm working on...

I know how the current relationship between r!Ciel and o!Ciel looks like, but here is a sentimental theory on our little twins’ relationship:

They used to be inseparable, two peas in a pod, and our Ciel seems to be the more sensitive one compared to his older brother, but if you look closely, r!Ciel was the one more deeply attached to his younger twin.

Now, from our point of view, this older twin rises up from the dead in such a disconcerting manner; leaving piles of dead bodies sacrificed for his resurrection. Since he was supposed to be the sacrificial lamb required to summon the demon, it becomes a question of whether r!Ciel even still has a soul, or if he has become something else entirely. This “soulless” brother killed Agni then proceed to frame o!Ciel for his crimes and ousted his twin brother and the servants from the manor.

But what was it like from r!Ciel’s point of view? After being cruelly murdered on the altar, his body was butchered to retrieve the Phantomhive ring from his stomach. His younger brother was consorting with the very same demon who ate his soul. Not only does o!Ciel not seem to resent Sebastian at all, he trusts and relies on the demon, treating him like a most trusted confidant, the only person o!Ciel allows to carry and touch him in such a familiar manner. From all manners of appearance, it seems almost like his younger twin has been coveting his position from the start, using the chance given through his demise to usurp his rank, steal his name, his position as the heir, and even his fiancé.

From our Ciel’s point of view, Sebastian is merely a demon summoned by the people who killed his brother: he does not begrudge Sebastian for being what he is. He negotiates a fair contract with terms of service clearly defined and a promise for the payment to be delivered at the end. Our Ciel cannot trust other people, but he can trust the contract; thus making Sebastian the only person worthy of his trust, the only one who can’t abandon him, can’t betray him, and will definitely stay by his side until the very end. From r!Ciel’s point of view, this is the demon who consumed his soul and stole his younger brother. After all, before Sebastian was there, they used to be each other’s closest confidante.

His little brother has changed so much, and he seems to be living happily as the Earl of Phantomhive with this filthy demon by his side tending to him, catering to him, touching him so familiarly with the same hands which ripped Ciel’s stomach apart to dig for that ring; the ring that was supposed to be their promise to return home together. His little brother left him behind on that altar and told the demon to reduce everything to ashes. He couldn’t even be bothered to give him a proper burial. He acted like he never had a twin brother in the first place: nobody aside from their closest family friends and relatives even knows that the Earl of Phantomhive had been born with a brother.

While he was left for dead, forced to become an undead abomination prolonging his miserable existence by stealing the life and blood of other people, his twin took his place and denied him of his existence. It was the pain of betrayal like no other, from his most trusted and beloved brother.

But therein lies the paradox: who was it that our Ciel truly buried, with no sentimental feelings left, given that he took the name of his brother?

We don’t even know the birth name of our Ciel. Rather than Ciel Phantomhive has disappeared, it was more like his brother has disappeared. Almost without a single trace.

Why did the little brother choose to take his older brother’s name? The readers know that it was not only for the inheritance; but this is because we read what was going on in his head. The real Ciel does not necessarily know the reason why his brother chose to take his identity; and by saying that he does not intend to pursue it, he likely does not dare to hear the reason why.

Our Ciel was haunted with the guilt of being the only one who survived. The spare should have died in the place of the heir, not the other way around. Even when making the deal with Sebastian, he constantly thought of ‘what would Ciel do?’—but Ciel is gone, and he’s the only one left. No matter how difficult and insurmountable it seems, he had to live in the place of his twin, acting like it was Ciel Phantomhive who had survived.

So he has killed himself and removed all traces of his existence; all for the sake of revenge—in order to let Ciel Phantomhive rise from the ashes and restore honor to the name of the Earl of Phantomhive. There is no use for the spare, there is only place for Earl Ciel Phantomhive. The only remnant left of the person who used to be Ciel Phantomhive’s spare was the toy company. It was a silly childhood dream, and our Ciel has accomplished it true to his words… in the place of his brother.

The toy company was perhaps the last remnant of his selfish desire; the wish that if his brother had been the one to survive, he would fulfill the childish dream of his dead younger brother. If the real Ciel was truly the one who survived that night, maybe he would also think to remember his little brother this way. Even if the spare was to disappear without a trace, with his soul gone into the bowels of the demon, surely his older brother will commemorate him so, letting him leave their mark in the world; symbolized by the rabbits that were their tenth birthday present.

It’s just such a shame that the spare was not the one who died and the dead does not remain dead, so both were left hurting each other; each thinking the other wants him to be gone, leaving their brotherly affections broken beyond repair.

this made more sense when i was operating on 0 sleep..

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I'm trying to prove something.

the actual reason I consume mediocre media is because I have bad taste. the deeper secret pretentious reason is because I think there’s something very revealing about bad media that you don’t get with good media. when you watch a poorly executed plot point unfold, you see the machinery behind it. you see the gap between what’s actually on screen and the true goal the author is striving for. if it’s particularly awful, you can even measure just how poorly mismatched the author’s skills are with the story they’re trying to tell you. watching a poorly executed narrative play out feels like you’re discovering something, because you see all the wiring and guts underneath that better authors hide from you, in the same way that movies hide boom mics and books make you forget you’re turning the pages. if a story is good and executed well you just see the story. but I want to see the guts and wires!

coz there's no way it just ended here

PSA: Paypal on some more shady shit

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tag an artist save a life etc

Things that will make your computer meaningfully faster:

Replacing a HDD with an SSD

Adding RAM

Graphics cards if you're nasty

Uninstalling resource hogs like Norton or McAfee (if you're using Windows then the built-in Windows Security is perfectly fine; if you're using a mac consider bitdefender as a free antivirus or eset as a less resource intensive paid option)

Customizing what runs on startup for your computer

Things that are likely to make internet browsing specifically meaningfully faster:

Installing firefox and setting it up with ublock origin

adding the Auto Tab Discard extension to firefox to sleep unused tabs so that they aren't constantly reloading

Closing some fucking tabs bud I'm sorry I know it hurts I'm guilty of this too

Things that will make your computer faster if you are actually having a problem:

Running malwarebytes and shutting down any malicious programs it finds.

Correcting disk utilization errors

Things that will make your computer superficially faster and may slightly improve your user experience temporarily:

Clearing cache and cookies on your browser

Restarting the computer

Changing your screen resolution

Uninstalling unused browser extensions

Things that do not actually make your computer faster:

Deleting files

Registry cleaners

Defragging your drive

Passively wishing that your computer was faster instead of actually just adding more fucking RAM.

This post is brought to you by the lady with the 7-year-old laptop that she refuses to leave overnight for us to run scans on or take apart so that we can put RAM in it and who insists on coming by for 30-minute visits hoping we can make her computer faster.