END SARS

I fucked up.

My younger brother came up to my mom with a stuffed animal and the animal was crying.

When my mother asked why the stuffed animal was crying my little brother said: becouse he’s a little bitch.

I said that yesterday when i was babysitting him .

Now my mom’s angry with me.

Im pretty sure im the most amazing human being to have ever human beinged.

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

Im home alone.

IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF SOMEONE CAME TO KILL ME RIGHT NOW!!!

Sam: I wish more foods were named in the same vein as “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”.  Steve: You’ve Got To Be Pulling My Leg, THIS Is Ranch?!  Clint: Shut The Fuck Up, Are You Telling Me This Shit Is Ketchup?  Nat: I Firmly Believe This Is Not Mustard And I Am Horribly Wrong.  Thor: I Refused To Believe That This Condiment Was Barbecue Sauce, And I Have Been Summarily Flayed For My Apostasy.  Bruce: I Assigned Negligible Probability To This Being Chili Sauce And Have Since Updated. Tony: In Which Your Humble Narrator Assumed That The Substance Within This Container Was Not Worcestershire Sauce Only To Be Rudely Awakened From This Delusion By Mysterious Circumstances.  Rhodey: So I Figured This Was Jam But Boy Howdy Was I Jumping To Some Erroneous Goddamn Conclusions. Bucky: This Not Soup. Peter: Breadn’t.

I think life is starting to run out of stuff to ruin my life.

Right now my arm feels like its slowly breaking for no fucking reason, like... dude this is so fucking uncreative, find something new

I just have a daydream which i continue for 8 days straight and then it gets boring and i go and watch another character being tortured

You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

Tony: what....is going on here?

Peter: oh! We started a class for some of the new aliens arriving to earth!

Shuri: we’re teaching them important fact of earth so they can understand humans better.

Harley: right now we’re covering important humans like *holds up picture of Beyoncé* who is this class?

Class: Beyoncé, queen of the United States.

Shuri: very good! Now, who is this?*holds up a picture of T’Challa*

Class: T’Challa, The king of dumb*ssery and freezing.

Peter: awesome! Now who’s this? *holds up picture of Tony*

Class: DAD!

Tony: *iron dad instinct activated* kids?

Pepper: OH FOR F*CK SAKES TONY, NOT AGAIN!

I was nicely laying in my bed when i felt something tickeling my arm. So i thought: hey what is this weird feeling lets check it out. So i took my phone and turned my flashlight on. Turned out there was a FUCKING BEAST IN MY BED, WHO THE FUCK GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO GET IN MY BED!!!! THIS IS ILLEGAL SAMANTHA!!!! THIS IS RAPE.