I Was Nicely Laying In My Bed When I Felt Something Tickeling My Arm. So I Thought: Hey What Is This

*sees a decapitated body* so no head?

I think life is starting to run out of stuff to ruin my life.

Right now my arm feels like its slowly breaking for no fucking reason, like... dude this is so fucking uncreative, find something new

Two years ago Hayley and James went into competitive hyper drive and had the internet freaking out all weekend. 

It was a beautiful weekend.

School: go write an essay about your perfect Day in 10 years

Me: ma'am I start crying when I have to think of the next week

De ene docent: “Ik vind het niet erg als je tijdens mijn les naar muziek luistert.”

De andere docent: “Als je ook maar aan muziek denkt tijdens mijn les, kom je ik persoonlijk vermoorden met een zwaard.”

Or taking a massive shit

3 am is such a powerful time. there are people sleeping. there are people partying. there are people having a movie marathon. there are people crying. there are people loving. there are people dying. there are people living. toegther at 3 am.

Me walking into the mcdonalds: ah good mcmorning could i mchave a mccoffee mcplease?

Mcemployee: sir you dont have to put mc in front of everything

Me:

My family: *calls me lazy for not doing anything all day*

Me who has been putting all energy in not Kermitting the self deletus:

I am a very simple human being.

People dont respond to my texts.

I feel like you hate me and want me to die.

That moment when you realise what you could have done with your life if you didnt have a mental illness.

Whack