The Internet Is Amazing For Unlearning What The Patriarchy Has Taught Us To Be Automatic. It's Even Better

The internet is amazing for unlearning what the patriarchy has taught us to be automatic. It's even better to practice personal feminism.

Because we're online, we can take a step away and analyse our thoughts if we feel angry, disappointed or disgusted at another woman. We have the ability to pause and not hate the woman that sneers at feminism, but feel grief for her and understand why she rejects it.

When we catch ourselves lashing out at other groups of women, the internet gives us the opportunity to work through those negative emotions and remind ourselves that patriarchy pits us against each other on purpose.

It's an incredibly powerful tool to use. Where else can we finally learn how to personally dislike another woman, to hate her views or wish that she was better educated, but not blame her for countless generations of patriarchy and still genuinely hope that she grows, succeeds, lives well, is happy and, most of all, safe? Where else is the space that allows us to go through the negatives to come out the other side, even when it's hard, without harming another woman?

In this space, where feminists will most likely agree on 90% of issues, there's still anger and infighting and backbiting thanks to the misogynistic female socialisation that tells us that nobody hates women more than other women, and that misogyny carrying on to think that other women want to trip you up or are readying themselves to attack to tear you down.

Men aren't thinking about how best to free women. We have to do that ourselves. Do you honestly think we can even come close to dismantling even one small section of patriarchy if we haven't learned to actually stand shoulder-to-shoulder with other women?

If you can't support and uplift and care for other women even in the same space with the same general ideals as you, how do you think you're going to be able to support and uplift and care for the women that hate everything that feminism stands for and promotes everything that feminism stands against? How are you going to be patient and understanding enough to teach her? How are you going to avoid victim-blaming her if she ends up being hurt?

That's why the internet is so useful. We can learn to dislike other women and step away from other women for our own sanities if we need to, we can understand that we will never be able to be best friends with every other woman, we can criticise other women and hold other women to account for their actions, but with this curated space and time to think, not being face-to-face, we can start the process of genuinely caring for every single woman anyway - especially the ones that we dislike the most.

I'd argue that that is the most important activism that feminists can do right now, the one that has to happen first before patriarchy can actually be ripped apart the way that it needs to be.

More Posts from Monsteradarling and Others

3 weeks ago
Check this out, 50 pages of what trans "women" get up to in female spaces. It's eye watering stuff #thisneverhappenshttps://t.co/HhgJASf6jM

— Melton Mowbray (@npdesign) October 10, 2023
Evidence
Google Docs
Evidence of Transwomen’s crimes With particular emphasis on crimes against females in female spaces and what happens when males can self ID

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2 weeks ago

This is exactly why TRAs are always homophobic and biphobic.

A lesbian, trying to be as kind as possible, has twisted herself into knots to convince herself that she's bisexual because she believes in the gender cult.

Their ideology harms every LGB person, because it says that no real sexualities exist. There are only labels that affirm TIMs and TIFs while lesbians, bisexuals and gay men are supposed to hate ourselves some more and get back into closets and question ourselves even more painfully. We're nothing but objects to be used and abused by them.

"I Wish I Wasn't That Way" Honey You're A Lesbian And You Have Absolutely Nothing To Be Ashamed Of. You're

"I wish I wasn't that way" honey you're a lesbian and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You're surrounded by conversion therapy rhetoric and it's wrong. You aren't having a "genital preference" - you like women. The entire female form. You're a female homosexual. It's okay to be a lesbian.

There is nothing wrong with you. You shouldn't have to hide in order to pacify a mans ego.


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2 weeks ago
I Don't Know What Makes Me Sadder; The Bimbofication To Become Famous, Or The Fact That It Worked.

I don't know what makes me sadder; the bimbofication to become famous, or the fact that it worked.


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2 weeks ago

Meanwhile, Maya Forstater was investigated by the police for 15 months over criticising a TIM doctor before it was dropped because there wasn't enough there to prosecute her for "malicious communications."

They're Going To Have To Build A Statue Of JRK When This Is All Over. The Most Successful Author In History

They're going to have to build a statue of JRK when this is all over. The most successful author in history and one of the most impactful British feminists in history being the same person is insane.


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3 weeks ago

I think we’re getting lost in the weeds if we start distinguishing between good (morally acceptable) and bad (selfish and vain) reasons to use a surrogate. 

Surrogacy, as a practice, is exploitative and unacceptable. It doesn’t matter why you’re treating another woman (likely a much poorer woman) like a broodmare because there is no acceptable reason to do so. It makes no difference if you’re doing it because you cannot become pregnant yourself, or because pregnancy would cause life-threatening complications for you, or simply because you don’t have the time or inclination to endure a pregnancy yourself. It’s all the same thing. It’s all exploitation.


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3 weeks ago
Rinie_fotografie

rinie_fotografie

2 weeks ago

If in doubt, blame bisexual women.

The only women who don't deserve any grace or understanding when it comes to internalised misogyny and internalised hatred for their sexuality are bisexual women, just so you know. Biphobia is a fun little pasttime that means nothing.

Being misogynistic towards us as a group and blaming us for the things that men and heterosexuals do is definitely feminist, don't worry.


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3 weeks ago

It bears stating from the onset that feminism is a broad church. There are splits and schisms within it, usually pertaining to what constitutes useful, meaningful action towards women's liberation. It is, however, to put the cart before the horse to start by placing into these furrows. One does not have to be a feminist to become one of the 'hounded', though to be feminist at all arguably requires agreement with the trio of Core Beliefs that follow. For the sake of both clarity and brevity, these three Core Beliefs are identifiable as the beliefs that are at question when a woman – feminist or not – is targeted for opprobrium in the gender wars.

Core Belief 1: Women are materially definable as a class of human being. That means that the category definition of 'woman' describes those humans who are adult and female. The only criterion for being a woman is to be a female girl who survives into adulthood. No other criteria are necessary: no personality traits, no interests, no adornment or style of dress, no mandatory life choice must flow from this definition. This is the realm of category definitions and not value judgements.

Core Belief 2: Women (as adult female humans), are culturally, legislatively and politically important, with their own sets of needs, rights and concerns. On the basis of being female, such women assert the need in particular for female-only spaces, sports, and other services on the basis of privacy, dignity and/or safety – or, simply, in recognition that equality and social justice cannot be achieved where males and females are included together with competing interests in whatever space is under discussion.

Core Belief 3: Where social, cultural or legislative trends are under way – ones that may diminish women's rights and/or liberation – then women have a right to meet and discuss freely that which affects their lives profoundly. As such, when women's events are protested disproportionately via attempts to shut them down or to intimidate attendees, the women involved will respond with even more rigorous calls for debate and reassertion of their right to freedom of speech and assembly.

– Jenny Lindsay (2024) Hounded: Women, Harms and the Gender Wars, pp. 1-2.

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monsteradarling - deliciously monstrous
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Tired 30-something bisexual feminist.

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