(source)

child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

Okay, I've run out of time but here's my (non)comprehensive breakdown of Goncharov (1973) after two hours of scrolling the tag. Tag me in stuff you think should be added here, or send them my way otherwise. Especially if you find the original posts for any of these facts!

(Note for the uninitiated: This is about the fake film Goncharov (1973) that we as a collective came up with, feel free to come up with your own crazy ideas about the film. It is not real, we're all just enjoying ourselves.)

Basics:

Goncharov (1973) Written by Matteo JWHJ0715 Produced by Domenico Procacci Directed by Martin Scorsese Composed by Alexander Lasaranko (by @we-arerevolutionary here)

Originally had a 9 hour long director's cut Original film was about 3 and a half hours long.

Returning to theaters for a limited time (by @huffy-the-bicycle-slayer here) 40th Anniversary Restoration (by @jpegchacek here) 50th Anniversary Remake (by @weijiangling here) -Starring Adam Driver, Florence Pugh, Misha Collins Remastered & Restored in 4k (by @dollopheadsandclotpoles here)

Named Characters:

Mikhail/Ivan Goncharov - Robert de Niro -Main character -Goes by Lo Straniero sometimes -Everyone gay for this bitch

Mario Ambrosini - Al Pacino -Ambrosini isn't his real surname -Also has some homoerotic subtext with Goncharov

Andrey Daddano - Harvey Keitel -Killed Goncharov -Killed Goncharov's whole family (?) -Has homoerotic subtext with Goncharov

Valery Michailov - Gene Hackman -Katya's brother

Katya Goncharov - Cybill Shepherd -nee Michailova -Goncharov's wife -Sold Goncharov out -Left russia when she was sixteen -Tries to shoot Goncharov at some point (misses?) -Dies at some point (before Sofia?)

Sofia -Dies at some point (?) -Has homoerotic subtext with Katya

Ice Pick Joe - John Cazale -Apparently got the icepick from Sofia who had it as a memento from her father? (here)

Bruno -Gets shot at one point in the movie -Supposed to be hateable with valid reasons.

Giacomo -??? -Cheesemaker -Coonected to Ice Pick Joe

Laura -??? -Daughter of Mario (?) -Falls in love with Goncharov in disguise

Mirko -??? -Dies in the first half hour of the movie

Patchka -Cat

Unnamed Characters:

Fruit Stand Guy -Part of the infamous apple scene (here)

Scenes:

(Not in a particular order, I just wrote them down whenever as I found them)

Iconic Backstory Scene (by @cloudmancy here) -Goncharov makes his first kill -"You see it, don't you? You've become a monster too." Clock Scene in St Petersburg Beer Bottle Scene Smoke Break Scene Bridge Scene (script page by @thealogie here) -Goncharov lights Andrey's cigarette with his own? Train Scene (gif set by @illogicalsarek here) Deleted Scene (by @rabdoidal here) Bedroom Scene Chase Scene Whatever The Hell This Is Scene (by @spacesweepers here) Apple Scene -Andrey talks about taking Goncharov to his lake house -Andrey tells Goncharov the truth about his father Anchovy/Sardine Scene Dress Up Scene -Sofia changes into a cocktail dress Casino Scene Courtroom Scene Pearl Necklace Scene (by @citrusllad here) -Katya & Sofia hold hands Boat Scene -"You look better in red" - Sofia at Katya (by @foervraengd here) Final Sequence (original screenplay by @dreamimpcssiblethings here)

"I wonder why we always meet at the edge of things." - Goncharo (by @fanyeline here)

"Of course we're in love. That's why I tried to shoot you." - Katya "If we really were in love you wouldn't have missed." - Goncharov (by @powerbottombrucespringsteen here)

"It was worth it. For you, it was worth it." - Goncharov's last words, to Andrey

Screencaps:

By @troubledtealover here By @goncharovcaps here By @itswickedheadache here

Posters:

Original Poster (by @beelzebub here) Variant Poster 2 (by @the-light-of-stars here)

Extra Material:

Long Lost Spanish Dub (by @elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey here) Goncharov: The Stage Musical (by @letterfromvienna here) Thai Remake (by @rythyme here) Comic Adaptation (by @atopfourthwall here) Sesame Seed Parody (by @raggedyandrogyne here) Polish Miniseries (by @vigilantsycamore here) Cancelled Goncharov Barbie Line (by @oak34 here)

Referenced In:

Gayle (by @chobanibonnieandyanni here) Unus Annus (by @gigi-the-bear here) Stranger Things (by @demonsandpieohmy here) Supernatural (by @officialqueer here)

Scores:

Main Theme by @caramiaaddio Main Theme (End Titles) by @if-only-angels-could-prevail Main Theme (Reprise) by @raccoonfink The Bridge Breaks by @nicewizard The Clocktower by @dungeonmastersconsortium Farewell Scene by @levuna Tempus Fugit - “Clock Theme” by @trupowieszcz Goncharov Theme in Minor by @mapplejuice Katya’s Leitmotif (Vinyl Rip) by @unscharf-an-den-raendern Andrey’s Theme by @the-frosty-mac It Is True (Extract) by @hex-of-els Memories Of Water - Goncharov Soundtrack by @rismrus Katya’s Sonata by @arcanistvysoren “For My Love” Andrey’s Serenade by @shits-getting-weird Stolen Time by @avatar-of-the-vast Sharing A Dance by @the-frosty-mac In The Boathouse by @madame-karenina What Was And Will Be by @piano-flute Overture on the Clocktower by @dead-minecraft-fandoms Privyet Goncharov by @rismrus Goncharov’s Gun by @netcup Sofia’s Serenade to Katya (deleted scene) by @melongumi Dockside #2 (unreleased) by @reptilemodernism Unnamed Fragment from Goncharov’s death scene by @quizshow1994 Palace Dance Scene by @lostlovepunk Waltz of the Pearls by @raynaonyourparade The Courtroom by @traegorn Bonus: Cover of the song Goncharov (2010) by @idiopathicsmile At Goncharov’s Gate (PC Version) by @badgraph1csghost One of the official trailers by @talkshowhost1996 (extra thanks to @thisisnotjuli for compiling most of these)

Goncharov (1973) - variant poster 2

[link: variant poster 3]

No one wants to work anymore. All kids these days want is to physically transform into animals. Bones cracking, breaking, splintering apart, stitching together into exhilaratingly new shapes. Hair, all kinds hair, various fluids and oils and whatnot. Monstrous musk, hideous scents foreign to civilization. Ragged-lip maws dripping with alien teeth, crowning in teething agony like the birth of an infant god. Gore-streaked visages howling in pagan delight by the pale light of the moon, etc. No work ethic. He who makes a beast of himself takes away the pain of clocking in tomorrow

Me: oh yeah, if you think school photography is hard now, try imagining doing this with film.

The new girl: what’s film?

Me: … film. Like… film that goes in a film camera.

New girl: what’s that mean?

Me: … before cameras were digital.

New girl: how did you do it before digital?

Me:… with film? I haven’t had enough coffee for this conversation

Global News

Canada will match donations up to $10M to Gaza humanitarian fund - National | Globalnews.ca

Canada says it will match donations up to $10 million aimed at providing food, water, medicine and other aid to civilians in Gaza.

The Canadian government announced Friday that it will be matching contributions made to the Humanitarian Coalition’s Gaza Humanitarian Emergency Appeal. In a statement, International Development Minister Ahmed Hussen says that every donation, retroactive to Oct. 7 – the day Hamas attacked Israel — until Nov. 12, 2023, will be matched by Ottawa up to $10 million. “Canadians believe in helping others in times of need. And as a government, we know we have more to do to support Palestinian civilians in Gaza and the West Bank,” Hussen said in a statement. “This is why we are joining forces with Canadians in supporting our partners on the ground that are providing urgent, life-saving assistance to those most severely impacted by this humanitarian crisis.”

Continue Reading.

Tagging: @politicsofcanada

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