Aimee Seu, From "In Flux: 25"

old fan art from 2016 to 2017

(looking back, why do i always draw ladybug on the left and cat noir on the right)

things I wish I’d known when I started writing fic on ao3

use & for friendships, colleagues, familial relationships and use / for romantic or sexual relationships (or encounters)

not everyone reads fic. Lots of people use screen readers, and screen readers can’t see what’s on images. use descriptive text to help them out.

lots of people download fic to read on other devices, not all downloads capture images too.

there’s a big difference between No Archive Warnings Apply (NAWA) and Author Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (CNTW). NAWA means that there’s nothing in the fic that needs to be warned for using the official Archive Warning system. CNTW means there might be something that requires a warning and the author is either avoiding giving out spoilers or they are unsure how to interpret their plot point with respect to the official Warnings. (in both cases, additional tags are where it’s at - you can explain yourself there) 

the reason why the number of bookmarks in the fic is different from the number of bookmarks on your stats page is because your stats page number includes bookmarks that are hidden

there’s a preference setting where you can receive emails with your own comments/replies.

there’s a site skin that hides stats so you don’t have to see them

writing in rich text format makes my life easier

knowing html allows me to do fun things in the comments section like comment/reply with reaction gifs

knowing html also allows me to do interesting formatting in my fics that I can’t do with rich text alone

those little blue bubbles with the question marks in them will answer my questions a lot of the time - and also teach me something new

the FAQ is linked under the word About in the header

if you write your fic in the draft window, you might end up losing it so make sure you copy the text before you hit Post, just in case

they aren’t kidding when they say drafts are deleted after 30 days

guys the new flow of artists isnt just the twitty kittys and muskrats, as of 11/11/22 deviantart is taking your art and using it for nfts and ai testing without your consent so people are quitting da and moving here 

so be nice to the deviantart refugees

How To Keep Your (Found) Family Happy

A friend posted a cartoon about weaponized incompetence on another website and talked about how every family has this. In fact, most groups of humans have run into this at some point, it's pretty normal for humans to try to find a way to take the easiest route (even if it means more work for others).

Despite all that, I've been with the same person since 2001. We've been married most of that time, had four kids together, and moved countless times as we restarted jobs, hunted promotions, and switched career fields. And we've managed to avoid most of the pitfalls. Here's how my spouse and I have avoid fights, weaponized incompetence, bitter feelings, and feeling neglected in our relationship for over 20 years (Hint: there's a lot of communication going on)... P.S. These are all very family/relationship-centric but you can absolutely adapt them for the workplace, school, or anything else.

MAKING CHOICES AHEAD OF TIME ... the menu is made at the start of the month, money is allocated before major events, we plan trips sometimes years in advance. All of that reduces the choice making later and is one less stress to handle. This is purely a decision making fatigue thing, if you have to make a decision, it requires brain power, and after a long day you'll have none. So why not sit down on a quiet day and make all the decisions you need to make for the next week? Poof! Brain power is freed up and there is less stress!

MONTHLY & WEEKLY CALENDAR SCRUBS... we sit down and make the menu around the first of the month, and we fill in the calendar with schedules so we know which days someone will be too busy to do things like cook, wash up, or something else.

DAILY CHECK-INS... whoever is home together in the morning does a morning devotional (yoga, dance time, scriptures, motivational quote, prayers, whatever works for you) and review what's happening so everyone is tracking major tests, work meetings, stressors, ect. Then we try to have dinner together if possible (even if it means eating at 5) and then a bedtime check-in before light's out (usually scriptures, prayers, and chatting, then bedtime stories for the littles). If people are working from home, we might have lunch together too. That means we have 2-4 planned meetings a day so we can course correct. -> If you're not religious, don't stress it. Pull out some Terry Pratchett quotes, favorite poems, pick a theme song for the week and dance to it. Just give you and your people five minutes to do something happy together. -> If this is at work this might mean a team meeting at the start of the day or a 12 minute check-in at 1:30 when everyone is back from lunch. The goal is to make sure everyone is on schedule for what they need, haven't run into an emergencies, and no one has questions. A supported work team gets more done.

SPENDING LIMITS... we got married in college when we lived off college stipends of $400/m. And we had a kid. Our rule was never to spend $20 without consulting the other person. We never changed that. We discuss everything from birthday presents to grocery lists and when we're getting gas in the cars even though we're much more financially stable. It means everyone spending out of the main accounts is tracking where the money is going so we don't over-splurge.

CHORE SCHEDULES... when we were first married we'd set aside an hour or so to clean the house together. It worked. As the kids got older this got more complicated (they needed to learn how to clean). But now we're at a point where everyone has assigned chores and we put bounties on chores that need to get done and are unassigned. And then we have one cleaning day (usually Friday or Saturday) where we take an hour and all clean the shared spaces. It takes 30-60 minutes to clean the entire house if you have six people working together. Laundry has assigned days for every load. The dishwasher and cooking have assigned days. It works. Everyone helps to the best of their abilities. -> With this is a lot of Adjusted Expectations. My house is not color coordinated with everything in a bin. My family is all neurodivergent. Most our dishes live on the counters because putting them away makes them vanish. This works great for us but might be overwhelming for other people. Who cares? It's our house, we're doing what works for us and the person made about it on Instagram can suck a lemon. -> If you really cannot do chores, cosplay it. Roll the dice and make it a game. Set a timer. Bribe yourself. Make it work for you.

ONE-ON-ONE TIME... not just for me and hubby, but for parents and kids. We try to make sure everyone gets some alone time where they are the focus of attention and we can check-in and make sure their emotional needs are met. Kids need a space to vent. Adults to a space to not be parents. -> This is super important for friendships too. Make time for people in your life! -> At work, this means managers need to make time to talk with their employees, check-in, and assess who needs things (and consider the people's needs first, not the CEO's bonus)

SCHEDULED DOWNTIME... usually this is Sunday for us (the Sabbath day for our religion), but it can be whenever, and we might have more downtime scheduled on a stressful week than in an easy one. The goal here is to make sure everyone gets time to not work, not lead, not think, and just chill. They can play, listen to music, nap, whatever their brain needs, and they can do it without upsetting anyone or feeling guilty because it's part of the schedule. -> In an office this would mean not lean staffing, maybe having an early release day once a week (or a late start) or long lunches. Give your people space to zone out and chill so they can come back refreshed. -> Quiet Quitting only exists because management is trying to exploit their staff. Don't be that boss. (P.S. Join Your Union)

SOME THINGS DON'T HAPPEN... our kids are limited to one after-school activity a year and one AP class for high schoolers. We've tried other ways and found it generates too much stress. I limit projects I take on because I have a set quitting time, even though I work from home. My husband passes up on some away-from-home events with friends because we prioritize family time. Figuring out that balance is something you have to decide as a family. What works for one person won't work for all. -> In business this means doing sustainable, slow growth over rapid booms that overextend and hurt the system. Stop looking for the short term boost when long term is better.

ADAPT TO WHAT YOUR GROUP NEEDS!... this is the most important one, because what we've done over the years has changed in reaction to the needs of people around us. My kids in college need something different than the one starting middle school. My team at the lab needed something than my team at a newspaper. If you have a bunch of introverts, they probably don't want a dance party, they want a three minute meeting with a heads up about any major disturbances and then ten minutes of silence to prepare their souls for any human interaction. Do what works.

And speaking of scurvy, I am eternally amused by the thing where some ancient form of healing that was born in a time where people didn't know exactly how the human body works, or what causes it to stop working sometimes, that still somehow worked. Like how so many old folk medicinal plants were listed as a cure for various ailments that - from a modern view - are clearly just symptoms of scurvy, and the plant itself is rich in vitamin C.

I recall reading some story, no recollection of the exact time or place, where the king of a large empire suffered from constant horrible headaches and was incapable of falling asleep unless drugged or blackout drunk. Sick of taking temporary fixes to dull the pain and having to be sedated every night, he called up some old sage healer who was said to know how to fix things nobody else could explain, and the healer heard his symptoms and went

"Hmm. You spend too much time being a king. Your skull is packed so full of kingly thoughts that they don't all fit in there and that's why your head is in pain. You need to spend time not being a king." And prescribed him to schedule three days every month where he must go to a peasant village where nobody knows he's the king, live with a family there under a fake name and identity, work in the rice fields with them, eating the same food and sleeping on the same mats. Absolutely nobody is allowed to address him as the king, speak to him of any royal or political matters, and he himself is not allowed to think any kingly thoughts or think of himself as the king.

And naturally, this worked. Taking a regular scheduled break from a highly stressful office desk job to completely decompress, paired with physical exercise in the form of hard but simple physical labour, plain and simple food and Just Not Thinking About Your Fucking Job All The Time does help chronic stress, which here was worded as "spending too much time being a king clogs your brain."

Sometimes you do have ghosts in your blood, though I'm not entirely sure whether you should do cocaine about it.

ahhhhh returning to the recesses of tumblr, where i remain relatively unknown

Me: oh yeah, if you think school photography is hard now, try imagining doing this with film.

The new girl: what’s film?

Me: … film. Like… film that goes in a film camera.

New girl: what’s that mean?

Me: … before cameras were digital.

New girl: how did you do it before digital?

Me:… with film? I haven’t had enough coffee for this conversation

Designs for most of the Minecraft animals <3 planning to implement them when I'm finished with the monsters!

Sure I could try the shoelaces thing, or I could just advertise I'm on tumblr on my water bottle.

Half-finished thing

you'd been sitting there for an hour

when i came by

an expression on your face

like milk turned sour

i sat down near the half-finished thing

you'd spent your afternoon on

before you started crying -

i spoke first: 'what's wrong?'

you stammered

something about bullcrap and 'don't give a fuck'

and your lower lip tremoured

so i reached out and picked it up

it was a little thing. delicate. beautiful.

with loose parts that jiggled with a gentle ring

watching warily, you looked on as i pulled it apart

too frustrated to care about undoing your start

wordlessly, i put it back together

you watched my fingers move. unsteady. clumsy.

i knew you could do it better

but at least it would be funny

you giggled. said it looked like a butt.

'i'm offended! not like you could do as much!'

you laughed. 'nah, i think yours still sucks.'

'why thank you, I knew you'd be awestruck'

i handed it back with a grin

and you started over again.

that half finished thing.