My-ugly-organs - Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In!

"Poem" by Langston Hughes I loved my friend.  He went away from me.  There’s nothing more to say.  The poem ends,  Soft as it began,— I loved my friend.

Alt stills under the cut:

thanks as always to Trigun Ultimate Overhaul for the Manga scans!

You know what people don’t talk about often enough? Playing catch up in life after spending your teens or early 20s suicidally depressed. There’s so many more layers than just being able to say “I don’t want to die anymore.”

The difficulty in academia or a career after spending years thinking you wouldn’t be alive long enough for any of it to matter.

The exhaustion that comes from self awareness and self soothing, with the constant voice in your head saying “don’t go backwards.”

How lonely it is to watch the people your age starting families when you’re just barely learning what stable relationships are, and the sudden societal pressure of being “up against a clock” for these kinds of things.

The judgement from others if you change your image or interests this late in the game just because you finally figured out who you really are under the demons.

Be kind to those who are developing and blooming after years of not planning on being here long. We are living a life we absolutely didn’t think we’d have, and it’s hard enough without society reminding us there’s expectations of our age.

We didn’t get to be young; we were too busy fighting battles few know.

-

Don't you see that this life is hell?!

I'm not living at all

Illustration for Painted in Blood by Roman Groph

“DONT YOU GET TIRED OF BEING NICE ALL THE TIME? DONT YOU JUST WANT TO GO APESHIT?” — acrylic with fine grit sand on a 24x20 inch canvas.

Chronic pain can be a major contributing factor to overstimulation, and overstimulation turns me into the biggest bastard on the planet. I tend to sympathize with some very unflattering horror movie portrayals of disabled villains when they lash out. Something something “being nice” is not a personality trait, it’s an active choice.

Not a big fan of what melatonin has been doing to my dreams lately.

May Sarton, Journal of a Solitude

(s)peak not as you are (p)ulled (d)own.

EVERYTHING MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HIDING