~Hazard Of Our Friendship~

The Cook and The Teacher!

Let's pretend The Bear and Abbot Elementary are in the same city.

Another cute interaction between Carmen (Carmy) Berzatto x Abbot Teacher Femreader! Sunshinereader!

Warnings: None

You glanced at the clock again, sighing like it had personally offended you. Your fingers tugged at the edge of your sleeve, mostly for dramatic flair at this point. The hands hadn’t moved much since the last time you looked—which was approximately forty-seven seconds ago, but who’s counting?

Not that you were nervous. No, no. Nervous is for people who don’t have an emergency backup plan involving a pigeon wearing a tiny tie and a PowerPoint presentation about apples.

You were just… mildly concerned.

Okay, maybe “low-key spiraling” was a more accurate term.

He said he’d come. Offered, even. You hadn’t begged, bribed, or emotionally blackmailed him (which you were fully capable of, for the record). He’d volunteered. That was important. Crucial, even.

It had all started with your now-iconic meltdown earlier in the week—Career Day Eve, if you will—when the zookeeper cancelled via email and emoji. An elephant emoji, to be exact and you, of course, had reacted in a calm, measured way.

By ranting to your handsome neighbour while pacing your living room in mismatched socks and clutching a mug of tea that had gone cold hours ago.

“I told them they were gonna see someone who works with LIONS, Carmy. Actual, roar-in-your-face, majestic-ass lions.” You groaned, flopping onto the couch like your spirit had physically left your body. “Ugh, I knew it. You can never trust someone with an exotic job and a man bun. That’s, like, a statistically proven red flag.”

From his seat at the far end of the couch, Carmy raised an eyebrow, expression maddeningly calm as he absently played with one of your throw pillows—the one you embroidered with little sunflowers during your short-lived cottage-core phase. He didn’t say anything. He just let you spiral.

You shot up, posture suddenly straight, eyes wild with new inspiration. “It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s all fine. I’ll just… bring in Gus. Yeah. Kids love Gus. Boom. Problem solved.”

Carmy blinked. “You’re not seriously—”

“Oh, I’m dead serious,” you interrupted one hand over your heart. “I’ll dress him up. Tiny tie, maybe a little badge. ‘Hello, my name is Gus. I’m a bird with a superiority complex and a cracker addiction.’ They’ll eat it up.”

That was when he said it, without looking up, like he was offering to pass the salt instead of volunteering for chaos. “I could come.”

You paused mid-rant, mouth half-open. “Come where? The pity party? Too late, I already RSVP’d with tears and dramatic flopping.”

“Career Day,” he said, glancing over at you finally. “I could do it. Talk to the kids. If you want.”

You blinked. Then blinked again, slower this time, like your brain needed an extra second to process the words.

“Carmy. Be serious. You run a whole kitchen. You work, like, twenty hours a day and sleep in four-minute intervals. I’m not about to let you donate one of your free mornings to a classroom of sugar-high fourth graders who will, at some point, absolutely ask if you ever had a rat under your hat."

He shrugged, unfazed. “I don’t mind.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he cut in before you could unleash another dramatic protest.

“If it helps you,” he said, his tone easy but sincere, “I can handle being asked about Ratatouille.”

You gawked at him. “You're serious?”

He nodded, resting his arm along the back of the couch like this was a totally normal Tuesday. “Sure.”

“Carmy,” you said slowly, voice pitched somewhere between disbelief and exasperated fondness. “You do understand this is unpaid, right? Like, full-on volunteer mode. Zero dollars. No tips. Just you, a room of small humans, and probably a glitter explosion.”

He looked at you, completely unbothered. “Still don’t mind.”

You knew Carmy well enough by now to understand there were layers—deep, complicated, messy layers—hiding beneath that simple, “I could come.” Because yeah, sure, Carmy loved to cook, but he didn’t glamorize it. Not even a little. The passion was real, but so was the damage. Even though he hadn’t laid it all out for you—hadn’t sat you down and unpacked every scar—you could see it. You felt it.

You’d seen it.

In the way, his shoulders tensed at the mention of certain names, in the haunted, faraway look he got when he talked about past kitchens, the way his eyes darkened when work crept too far into the personal, the way silence filled in for stories he couldn’t bring himself to tell. The job had nearly eaten him alive more than once. You could tell. It had taken from him—family, sleep, health, peace. Years of his life he was still fighting to claw back, one broken, beautiful piece at a time.

So the idea of standing in front of a room full of wide-eyed, hopeful fourth graders and telling them, “Follow your passion!” like that passion hadn’t nearly swallowed him whole?

Yeah. That wasn’t a small ask.

And yet—he’d offered. Unprompted. Just a soft, casual, “I could come.”

For you.

And god, wasn’t that the part that ruined you a little?

Still, you'd waited a full twenty-four hours before giving him the green light. For his sake. For yours. For that part of you—the newer, softer, protective part—that had started to believe in shielding him from things, even when he didn’t ask to be shielded.

Because Carmy Berzatto may have survived a thousand kitchens, but that didn’t mean he needed to walk into this one unless he truly, truly wanted to.

And the crazy thing was? He did.

Now here you were, pacing between tiny desks like a caffeinated motivational speaker who didn’t have a Plan B involving a pigeon. You were totally calm. Totally fine. Totally not spiralling internally while your brain whispered charming thoughts like, 'he’s not coming', and 'Congrats, you’re about to host a cooking segment with no chef, no plan, and possibly a breakdown'.

“Miss!” one of your students called out, yanking you out of your mental spiral like a life preserver made of glitter glue. “When’s the chef getting here?”

You spun on your heel, smile locked in place like the unbothered queen you absolutely were not.

“Soon!” you beamed, while glancing at the cameras. “He’s probably just fighting with a soufflé or locked in a passionate debate with a garlic clove. You know—chef stuff.”

They laughed. You did too, though yours was the manic sort that said everything’s on fire, but at least we’re warm.

You had told them a real chef was coming. A famous one, even. But you’d kept that part tucked away. Just in case. You didn’t want them disappointed if he didn’t show.

You didn’t want to be disappointed if he didn’t show.

Because while you were currently dazzling these kids with your best “unbothered teacher queen” routine, inside? Yeah, your soul had filed an early resignation.

You glanced at the clock again.

Cool cool cool.

It was fine. Everything was fine. You were totally not about to fake a PowerPoint on “Why apples are the real MVP of fruits” while sobbing internally.

You gave your class a cheerful clap of your hands, channeling the kind of positivity that could sell overpriced candles on Etsy. “Alright! While we wait, why don’t we write down what questions we might want to ask our guest, hmm? Think big. Think bold. Think ‘What’s your favorite sauce?’ but, like, deeper.”

"Writting?" A collective groan rose from the class, dramatic and loud, as if you’d just asked them to handwrite the Constitution.

You raised your eyebrows, completely unfazed. “Yes, writing. The horror. Grab your pencils, Hemingways.”

And just as a few reluctant pens started to scratch against paper, the door swung open—abrupt, theatrical.

You were just about to exhale a tiny breath of relief when the classroom door swung open—and not in the chef arrives like a movie moment with the wind blowing his coat kind of way.

Nope.

It was Ava.

Your best friend. Your favorite menace. And the one person on Earth with zero chill.

Ava stepped in like she owned the place—which, to be fair, she kind of did, at least spiritually with phone in hand, eyes scanning the room like she was about to announce lottery numbers.

You blinked at her. “Principal Coleman?”

She ignored you completely and addressed your students with dramatic flair. “Excuse me, tiny scholars. I have a very important update.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Ava.”

She turned to you, positively glowing with mischief. “Your hansome chef is here.”

You blinked. “My—what?”

“Girl,” she said, one eyebrow raised. “The one you told me about. With the tattoed arms and the trauma. He’s here. And I gotta say, you undersold it.”

The class erupted into giggles. You blinked harder.

You blinked, stunned, brain buffering like a broken Wi-Fi signal. “Ava, this is a classroom. A learning environment.”

“I learned something,” she said with a wink. “I learned you have a taste for emotionally complex kitchen men with cheekbones so sharp they could dice an onion.”

“Can you just send him in, please?” you asked, voice sweet but strained, like you were one Ava comment away from evaporating into glitter.

Ava raised her brows like okay, ma’am, then dramatically pivoted on one heel, mumbling something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like, “Don’t say I never brought you anything good.”

The door closed behind her with a dramatic little click, and you turned back to your students, who were all openly staring at you like you were the lead in a very juicy reality show.

“Miss,” one of them stage-whispered, eyes wide with scandal, “are you dating the chef?”

You blinked. “Excuse me—what? No. Absolutely not. We are just… two humans who happen to know each other and occasionally share oxygen in the same room.”

And with a dramatic little head shake and the world's weakest scoff, you muttered, “Kids and their imaginations.”

A second student raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “But Miss… your face is doing the same thing it did when that one dad brought you cupcakes for Valentine’s Day.”

You opened your mouth. Closed it. Blinked. Then pointed at the worksheet pile like it held the answers to life itself.

“Okay—first of all, pencils up, Cupid Patrol. Second, that wasn’t a dad, it was the very kind district representative who happened to believe in seasonal baked goods and workplace appreciation.”

The kids oooh’d like you’d just admitted to a full-blown scandal.

“And for the record,” you muttered, loud enough for the mic to catch, "Nothing happened. It was one cupcake. Vanilla. Calm down.”

The camera lingered.

You blinked. “Cut somewhere else.”

You were still glaring at the camera crew when the door creaked open again—this time quieter, less dramatic, almost hesitant.

You turned, mid-eye-roll, fully expecting Ava to have come back for one final round of public humiliation.

But it wasn’t Ava.

It was him.

Carmy stepped into the room, somehow looking both like a Michelin-starred chef and a man who was deeply unsure if he’d accidentally walked into a daycare. His white tee was freshly pressed, chef’s coat folded neatly over his arm, hair was slightly messy like he’d fought with it in the car, lost, and decided to just let fate take the wheel, carrying a large bag.

He stood there for a second, blinking at the sea of tiny faces—and you.

“Uh… hi,” Carmy said, voice low and hesitant.

Your brain, which had been barely clinging to function, promptly short-circuited.

“Hi,” you echoed, way too breathy for someone in charge of young minds, smiling like a fourth grader yourself.

“Miss! Is that him?” one student asked, already halfway out of their chair like they were witnessing a celebrity walk-in.

You blinked back into Teacher Modetm with the grace of someone internally screaming. “Yes. Yes, that’s him. Everyone—uh—remain seated.”

You gestured toward Carmy. “This is Chef Carmy, our very special guest for Career Day!”

The kids leaned forward like a chorus of curious meerkats, eyes wide, pencils ready.

“Can we all say, ‘Hi, Chef Carmy’?” you asked.

“Hiiii, Chef Carmyyyyy!” the room chorused in chaos, overlapping voices.

Carmy raised a hand in a small wave, his lips pulling into a sheepish smile. “Hey. Uh… thanks for having me.”

Then—of course—he glanced over at the camera crew like he just now realized they existed, eyes slightly wide before blinking quickly back to you. He stepped closer, leaning in just a bit, voice soft—just for you.

“Sorry I’m late,” he murmured. “Traffic was… hell.”

You grinned, shaking your head. “You’re fine. You made it. That’s what matters.”

He nodded, almost imperceptibly, still looking at you like you’d somehow made this less terrifying just by standing there.

And then, because this day was determined to destroy you emotionally, one of your students blurted out, “Miss, your face is doing the thing again!”

You didn’t even flinch as you turned to the children. “Okay! We are officially in session. Chef Carmy is here, so I hope you have your questions ready—and no, none of them can be about Ratatouille, or I will confiscate your recess.”

A hand shot up immediately. “Is it true chefs yell a lot?”

Carmy blinked, caught between answering and short-circuiting.

You sighed dramatically, shooting him a look. “And here we go.”

To his credit, Carmy recovered quickly. “Uh… yeah,” he said honestly, scratching the back of his neck. “Sometimes. But mostly just when things are on fire or… slicing off a thumb.”

A collective gasp filled the room.

“Wait, did you really cut your thumb off?” one kid asked, absolutely horrified and delighted.

Carmy hesitated. “No, but… close enough.”

“Cool,” the kid breathed.

You gave Carmy a look like sir, but he just gave you a little shrug back that said I’m trying here.

Still, you beamed. Progress. He was finding his rhythm.

And then, the spaghetti.

You’d cleared a small table for him earlier, just in case he brought something. But you had not expected him to go full cooking show.

With sleeves rolled, Carmy walked the kids through how to make fresh spaghetti from scratch.

“Alright, so—flour,” he said, pouring it out onto the surface. “Then you make a little well, like this.”

“Ooooh,” the kids chorused, some of them leaning forward like they were witnessing magic.

You stood off to the side, arms crossed, trying very hard to look composed and not like you were watching a rom-com scene play out in real time. Because Carmy? Flour dust on his hands, explaining things so gently, so patiently, even when the questions made zero sense? It was unfairly attractive.

“So the eggs go in the middle, and you start mixing with a fork—”

“What if you used a spoon?”

“Would it still work if it was peanut butter instead of eggs?”

“Could you make the dough into, like… animal shapes?”

“Do you have beef with Gordon Ramsay?”

Carmy was trying his best. “Okay, uh—no spoons, no peanut butter, yes to animal shapes, and… no comment on Gordon Ramsay.”

He cracked eggs into flour, mixed dough by hand, and passed around little pinches so the kids could feel it for themselves. He used terms like “emulsify” and “al dente,” then immediately explained them in fourth-grade-speak. He asked for volunteers to help him roll the dough out with a tiny pin you’d borrowed from the kithcen. He let one kid sprinkle flour on the surface with a flair that could only be described as “chef-in-training chaos.” Another student tried to twirl the noodles like he was doing a magic trick.

He was awkward, yes—but also patient, funny in that deadpan way that made the kids hang onto every word.

Somewhere around the rolling-out portion of the lesson, the door creaked open again—and in walked the kitchen staff from the cafeteria. Hairnets. Aprons. Pens and little spiral notebooks in hand.

“We heard there was a Michelin star in the building,” Shanae announced from the doorway, arms crossed over her cafeteria apron, clearly enjoying the scene unfolding. “We just wanted to, you know… take a peek.”

“If you need to boil it, Chef Carmy, you can use my pot,” Devin offered, already scribbling something in a little notepad like he was about to text his group chat immediately.

"Thank you, Chef," Carmy nodded at him with a polite smile, a little bashful now, and returned to cutting his dough.

As if that wasn’t enough, Mr. Johnson sauntered in not five minutes later, leaned against the back wall like he was in a speakeasy, and said, “You know, back in ‘92 I made lasagna so good the mayor cried. Just sayin’.”

He then turned and disappeared down the hall like a wizard of chaos, muttering something about gluten conspiracies.

You didn’t even blink. “Thank you, Mr. Johnson.”

Then, Melissa strolls in, coffee in hand and eyebrows already at maximum scepticism.

She paused in the doorway, scanning the flour-dusted counter, the students gathered around like Carmy was performing miracles, and Carmy himself—elbows deep in pasta dough.

She sipped her coffee as she stared at the pasta. “Wait, so… what’s your last name?”

Carmy glanced up, blinking like he’d been pulled out of a trance. He looked at Melissa, then at you, like he was checking to see if this was a trick question. “Uh… Berzatto.”

Melissa squinted. A beat passed.

“Huh,” she said, in a tone that somehow contained five different layers of meaning: vague suspicion, mild approval, distant familiarity, one raised red flag, and a complete personality assessment. “Makes sense.”

And just like that, she turned and walked off, heels clicking, coffee still steaming, not another word spoken.

Carmy blinked after her, then looked at you, deadpan. “Was that a threat?”

You shrugged. “Honestly? It’s better not to ask.”

“Right,” Carmy mumbled, brushing a bit of flour from his fingers before continuing like he hadn’t just been hit with a drive-by personality analysis from a woman with mob energy and perfect eyeliner.

He rolled back into the lesson with ease, walking the kids through shaping the dough into spaghetti strands.

“You want it thin, but not too thin,” he was saying, hands moving with a kind of gentle confidence that made even flour seem like it was cooperating out of respect. “If you can see through it, you’ve gone too far. Unless you’re making ravioli. But that’s… a whole different story.”

Meanwhile, you?

You couldn’t take your eyes off him.

Every time he explained something—how the gluten develops, why olive oil matters, the difference between done and perfect—you leaned in without realizing. Just a little. Drawn in, like the words were for you and only you.

And the worst part?

Sometimes he looked at you while he talked. Just little glances. Barely-there flickers. But each one lit you up like someone had turned on all the fairy lights inside your chest.

Your heart fluttered. Your cheeks hurt from smiling. Your brain? Fully composing a sonnet titled To the Man Making Spaghetti in My Classroom.

You were so, so doomed and just when your face was halfway to full heart-eyes emoji status, you remembered—

The cameras.

You blinked, snapped your head toward them, and straightened up like you hadn’t just been silently daydreaming about holding Carmy’s tattooed hand while wandering through a farmer’s market in the fall or about his hands elsewhere...

One cameraman raised an eyebrow.

You cleared your throat. Smiled. Gave a stiff little nod like everything is normal and fine and I am a professional adult woman.

The rest passed too quickly for your liking.

One second, he was explaining how flour and eggs became pasta, and the next he was handing off the fresh noodles to Devin who looked so starstruck you half-expected him to ask for an autograph, but instead, he just took the dough reverently, muttering, “I got you, Chef,”

While Devin handled the boiling, Carmy fielded more questions, bouncing between wide-eyed children and genuinely curious adults.

One kid asked if he ever cried over burnt toast.

“Only once,” Carmy replied. “It was a really good piece of bread.”

Another asked if he’d ever cooked for a king.

“Not officially,” he said, glancing at you with a quick smirk that made your heart do a cartwheel. “But I’ve cooked for people who matter.”

The kitchen staff and at least one substitute from down the hall— all threw out questions about risotto techniques, braising, and how he gets his red sauce just right.

He pulled out a small pan he’d brought, explaining how to build a sauce from scratch—olive oil, garlic, a little tomato, basil. Simple, but the room smelled like heaven. The adults were wide-eyed. The kids were openly drooling. You might’ve been, too.

He offered tiny sample spoons as he stirred, like it was the most natural thing in the world to casually do a cooking demo in a public school classroom. And when Devin returned with the perfectly cooked pasta—because of course it was perfect—Carmy tossed it with the sauce and started plating like it was no big deal.

Little paper bowls. Plastic forks. A sprinkle of cheese. And just like that, he was handing out servings of handmade pasta to a group of nine-year-olds and the adults like they were at some five-star tasting event.

You got a plate, too and the second you took a bite, you nearly sat down.

It was so good—like warm, rich, made-with-love kind of good. Like maybe he put his entire soul into the sauce and also possibly his feelings for you kind of good. You blinked up at him, genuinely speechless for the first time all day.

He raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

You nodded, slow. “I hate you a little bit.”

He chuckled. “I’ll take that.”

And yeah, you were so, so gone.

The kids were still buzzing as they lined up to leave, chattering about pasta like it was the greatest invention since slime. A few waved wildly at Carmy on their way out, and others whispered to each other like they’d just met a celebrity—which, honestly, they kind of had to and Carmy gave them a small, slightly awkward wave back.

“Miss,” one whispered as they passed you, eyes wide with hope, “can Chef Carmy come back next week?”

You smiled, warm and fond. “We’ll see.”

When the last of them filed out and the door finally clicked shut, the room fell into a warm, quiet hum—sunlight filtering through the windows, flour still dusted on the counter, the lingering scent of garlic and tomato hanging in the air like some kind of cozy spell.

You turned, and there he was.

Carmy stood at the table he’d used, wiping it down with a damp towel, sleeves still rolled to his forearms, curls a little wild after an hour of navigating the adorable storm that was your classroom. He looked… calm. Settled.

“Hey,” you said, a little sing-songy as you stopped beside him. “Chef of the Year. You did it.”

He glanced up, met your eyes with a crooked smile. “Hey.”

“I just wanted to say thank you,” you said, lowering your voice just a bit. “Like, really—you didn’t just show up, you… you were brilliant, Carmy.”

He let out a breath that was half-laugh, half something more complicated. “I was wingin’ it the whole time.”

“Well,” you said with a smile, “you wing things very charmingly.”

His eyes lingered on you for a beat longer than strictly necessary. “You made it easier.”

The words landed between you like something delicate and important. You swallowed, heart doing that tight, fluttery thing again—the one that always showed up whenever he looked at you like that.

You tried to recover, tossing the moment a wink and a grin just to keep yourself grounded. “So does that mean you’re open to a regular Thursday guest chef gig?”

He smirked, low and lopsided. Shook his head like he couldn’t believe you—but not in a bad way. “I don’t know if I’m built for the fourth grade attention span.”

“They were obsessed with you,” you said matter-of-factly, crossing your arms and stepping just a little closer.

“They were obsessed with the pasta.”

You tilted your head, eyes twinkling. “It wouldn’t be hard for it to be both.”

That made him pause. Just long enough for the tension to hum again, low and warm.

That made him pause. Just long enough for the tension to hum again, low and warm.

He looked at you like he was trying to read between your words. Like he wasn’t quite sure if you meant it the way it sounded—but hoping you did.

A beat passed. You held his gaze, smile softening just slightly. Just enough.

And then he looked down—at your shoes, the floor, literally anything else that wasn’t your face—and cleared his throat. “I should… probably get going.”

“Right. Yeah.” You brushed past him to grab a tray, your shoulder just barely bumping his as you passed. “See you around, Carmy Next Door.”

If he froze for half a second—well, that was between him and the classroom air that had suddenly grown suspiciously warmer.

You kept your back to him, pretending to busy yourself with stacking paper plates while absolutely listening for every move behind you.

A minute later, he was at the door, bag slung over one shoulder, hand on the knob.

“Yeah, see you around,” he said, almost too casually.

You turned toward him, giving him a smile that was part “Thank you, again.”

He nodded but didn’t move. Just stood there and after a pause he cleared his throat, glanced down, then back up at you—like he was in the middle of a conversation with himself and currently losing.

“Hey—” he started, then stopped, his jaw clenching just slightly. “Would it be weird if I…”

You raised your brows, trying not to let the hope leak into your smile. “If you what?”

He shifted his weight, ran a hand through his curls. “If I asked you to dinner.”

You tilted your head, giving him your best faux-casual sass. “Like a date?”

“Yeah. Like a date.” He gave the tiniest nod, just enough

You didn’t even hesitate. “Took you long enough.”

His mouth curved into the softest smile you’d seen from him all day—like it caught him off guard like it made something inside him loosen.

“So that’s a yes?” he asked, voice quiet.

“It’s a yes,” you said, and damn, you didn’t even try to hide your smile this time.

He opened the door, then turned back one last time. “I’ll text you.”

“You better,” you said. “You owe me pasta without a classroom audience.”

He laughed under his breath, then stepped out, the door clicking softly behind him.

You stood there for a moment, alone in the quiet hum of the classroom, heart fluttering like you were seventeen and just got asked to prom. Which, honestly… wasn’t that far off.

You let out a breath, tried to pull yourself together, and failed—because your face still hurt from smiling and your brain was very much replaying every single second in high-definition slow motion.

Then, out of the corner of your eye, you spotted it, the cameras.

Still rolling.

“Told you it was a matter of time,” you said, voice smug and giddy. Then you added, dead serious: “Also—if you zoomed in on me blushing again, we’re fighting.”

Cut to black.

A/N: Helloooooo. How is everyone!?? Okay first I want to apolagize that it took me so long to publish this part, lots going on rn, second, I thank you all for the support, for those likes, commentsss and shares ❤️ Like its crazyyyy.

Be safe out there 🫶 Tell me if you would like to get tagged.

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@hiitsmebbygrl16 @urthem00n @svzwriting29 @tyferbebe @akornsworld @khxna @ruthyalva96 @beingalive1 @darkestbeforethedawn16 @turtle-cant-communicate spideybv28 veryberryjelly @daisy-the-quake leilanixx softpia cosmix-stxrs the-disaster-in-waiting memoriesat30 emerald-jade1 sabrina-carpenter-stan-account ateliefloresdaprimavera theflowerswillbloom blairfox04 nicksolemnlyswears stardream14 notme22sblog mattm1964 maddeningmentalmess isla-finke-blog literature-nerd-blossom starberryhorse hipsternerd9 landpiranha-blog miarabanana everywherenothere just-soft-things1 blue-4-raven rockyeatrock this--is--music lettucel0ver chayceschultz silas-aeiou alexxavicry

sanji's first time | sanji x reader

sanji has been wondering what this day would be like for years and he's sure he could die a happy man after a night with you ♡

18+ ACCOUNT/CONTENT SO MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

warnings: sub sanji, men whimpering yeahhhhh, sex for the first time, afab reader!, lots of commanding sanji

sanji pants heavily when you pull off of his cock with a pop, a pathetic whine leaving him when you press a sloppy kiss to the tip. "such a good boy. don't even have to tell you to behave." you giggle as you pump him with your fist, another cry leaving him as he watches your hand and grips the sheets underneath him. you stop only a moment later, crawling into his lap and leaning down to kiss him as you slowly grind back against his cock that's leaking pre-cum and flushed red at the tip. "c-come on, baby, pleasepleaseplease.." he gasps out, his shaky hands finding your waist and squeezing it. you playfully tut at him, taking his hands off your waist much to his dismay; a quiet cry leaves him when you instead place his hands on your breasts. "gotta take it slow, sweetheart. don't want you cumming just yet." you say with a hum, reaching back to lead his cock to your entrance.

the two of you moan in unison when his tip pushes just past your folds, staying like that as he throws his head back against the pillows with a loud moan. his face is flushed red with lust, lips slick with spit as he tries to stop himself from drooling at your heat around his tip. "don't be shy, honey, i want to hear alll your sounds." you giggle as you finally lower your hips with a long moan, sanji unable to hold back the embarrassing cry of a curse that leaves him. his hips buck up into you on instinct, another whine leaving him when you push his hips down with one hand. "let me take care of you, handsome. you already help me so much." you say, lifting your hips again; you bite your lip to hide the growing smile on your face when you don't lower your hips, relishing in the desperate look in sanji's eyes. "pleasepleasepleasepleaseohgodspleasebabyplease"

you pick up the pace of your hips as you lean forward enough for sanji to force you further down, groaning as he buries his face in your breasts; had this been any other moment, you would have laughed but sanji's eagerness even for his first time only turned you on even more. "such a good boy, puppy, so so good." you whine softly as he squeezes your breasts further against his face. without warning, he starts to buck his hips up into yours in a way that sends a chill up your spine, setting a fast, steady pace that makes a choked moan leave you. he babbles strings of praise to you and what you think is an apology; "feelsofuckinggood, 'm sorry.." he whines as his hands find your ass and squeeze it, using it as a way to lower your hips to meet his.

way too soon for sanji, he feels himself getting close and he can already tell it's going to hit him hard. "b-baby, 'm soclose, please, w-wanna cum inside.." he pants heavily, looking up at you with this look that makes you let out a small whine: how can you possibly refuse him when he's looking at you like you are god herself? "let it allll out, honey, give it all to me." you whine as you start to move your hips to meet his, feeling your own release coming. sanji's sounds only grow louder and more pathetic with every stroke inside of you, calling out your name like a mantra. it isn't long until sanji finally cums, letting out a loud, low groan as his hips speed up into an almost impossible pace much to your pleasure. he goes limp against the bed as you ride out your own high, head tipped back and soft gasps slipping out of you as you milk sanji for all he's worth.

im ngl to yall, i finished this at almost 2:00 am so sorry if anything sounds weird LMFOAM

Divorcing Dad

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!wife!reader (they're parents!)

Summary: When your daughter asks Tim if he's getting a divorce, he doesn't know what to say. In the aftermath of the question, you have to comfort both Bradfords.

Warnings: mentions of divorce obv, fluff, crying, comfort, I changed the spelling of Capt. Andersen's last name for Tim's daughter

Word Count: 1.5k+ words (this was supposed to be a blurb lol)

Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Tim’s favorite day of the week is Friday. Not because it marks the end of a week or is the mostly agreed upon best day of the week, but because it’s the day that he gets off work early and gets to pick up your daughter from school. Since his promotion to Sergeant, Tim began leaving early one day a week to spend extra time with his daughter, who has him wrapped around his finger. She’s been a daddy’s girl since you gave birth. Still, whenever you see your favorite Bradfords together, you become more convinced that Tim Bradford didn’t truly understand love until he cradled you and your beautiful daughter in his arms. Although, you’re a bit jealous that she is Tim's spitting image. At least he’s gorgeous, you remind yourself often.

“Munchkin!” your daughter, Anderson, named for Tim’s late captain, yells as she exits her classroom.

Tim shakes his head as he pulls her into his arms and against his chest. A few weeks ago, she overheard you call Tim Munchkin while teasing him about playing princess dress-up, and she’s picked it up as well. Rather than remind her that he’s Dad, not Munchkin, Tim moves his hand to her side and tickles beneath her backpack strap.

“Dad, dad, stop!” she yells through her giggles.

Tim relents, smiling as he waves to her teacher and turns toward the parking area. As he walks, he listens to Anderson talk about her day. When she hesitates before talking about what she and her friend Marcie did at recess, Tim fights the urge to get protective.

“Did you play any games?” Tim asks as he places her in the booster seat.

“We played fairies!” she answers, perking up again to explain what her fairy looks like.

Tim nods along, but his mind drifts back to her sudden pause. He’ll wait for her to bring it up, he decides… or for you to get home.

“What do you want for dinner, my little fairy?” Tim asks as he looks in the pantry.

“Are you getting divorced?” Anderson asks, her voice soft behind him.

Tim freezes with his hand on a container of flour. He has no idea where she came up with the idea; he’s never said it, which means she must have heard it at school. Or, worse, he thinks suddenly, from you. Shocked, with his mind racing, Tim doesn’t realize that his silence has misled Anderson. When she begins crying, Tim turns quickly. He shakes his head, confused and desperate to know if you mentioned divorce around her, which only makes it worse. Anderson’s cries turn to sobs, so Tim lowers to his knees and pulls her close. She clings to his neck, crying against his shirt, and he can only rub her back.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s alright,” Tim whispers.

Anderson hiccups and shakes her head. “No!” she wails through her cries.

Tim shifts back, leaning against the cabinets as he pulls his knees up to hold Anderson as tightly as possible. Anderson needs time to calm down, so nothing Tim says now will help. Convinced that he can’t help his daughter, Tim is forced to return to the question of where she came up with the idea that you were getting divorced.

“We love you, Anderson,” Tim promises.

You stretch your neck to the side as you exit your car. As you walk toward your front door, you smile because it’s Friday. So, Tim and Anderson are already home, likely making dinner and messing up your kitchen. It’s the most family time you get all week, even with Tim’s new Sergeant schedule. The door is closed and locked, which is unusual. Usually, you’re greeted by Tim, your daughter, or both. Shrugging, you fish your keys out of your bag and let yourself into the house. Rather than the television, music, or laughing, you’re greeted by your daughter crying and Tim whispering. Rushing toward the kitchen, you stop when you see Tim sitting on the floor with a visibly distraught Anderson curled against his chest.

“What happened?” you ask softly, stepping toward them carefully.

At the sound of your voice, Anderson begins crying harder, harsh, hiccupping sounds before she pants for air.

“Tim?” you inquire.

Anderson takes several short breaths as she stands and maneuvers out of Tim’s lap. When she reaches you, she wraps her arms around your legs and presses her face against you. You place your hands over her hair and look at Tim, wide-eyed as he stands and wipes his cheeks.

“She, uh, she asked if we were getting divorced,” he explains quietly.

“What did you say?” you ask, slightly more accusatory than intended.

“Nothing. She- I don’t know where she even heard about it!”

“Anderson,” you coo, carefully bending to smile at her. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re divorcing Dad,” she whispers, heartbroken.

You shake your head and take her hands in yours. “No, I’m not, sweetheart.” You lean closer, conspiratorial as you add, “He’s stuck with me.”

“You’re not?” Tim asks.

Your brows furrow as you look up at him. He shrugs, and you realize he thinks Anderson heard you talking about it.

“Anderson, where’d you hear about divorce?” you inquire.

“Marcie,” she answers shyly, attempting to drop her head against your side again. “She said her mom or dad aren’t living with her anymore.”

“Alright,” you murmur as you pull Anderson into your arms and stand. Looking at Tim, you smile and request, “Order us pizza and then meet us in the living room?”

“Sure,” Tim agrees. He toys with his wedding ring while on the phone with your favorite pizza place. Though his worries have lessened since you returned, especially after hearing that someone at school introduced the topic to his daughter, Tim is still eager to hear everything. “Twenty minutes,” he tells you as he lowers onto the couch beside you.

You offer your hand behind Anderson, and Tim happily takes it in his. As you begin speaking, he notices that your wedding ring is on Anderson’s finger.

“Anderson, your dad and I aren’t getting divorced, okay? We love each other so much, but we love you even more,” you explain. “Marcie’s parents will always love her too, even if they don’t live together.”

Anderson nods and leans against Tim’s side. She’s not old enough to hear about his previous divorce from Isabel, but he knows that he needs to acknowledge the topic, the same as you.

“Yeah, Munchkin,” he teases. “We love you so much that we’re never letting you go. You’ll be with us like a baby kangaroo in a pouch.”

Anderson laughs, then, as kids tend to do, she changes the subject. “Can I draw a picture?” she asks.

“Of course,” you answer. “Grab your color case and come back, I want to watch.”

“Okay, Mommy!” she cheers as she slides off the couch, leaving your ring on Tim’s thigh.

Tim watches her with a smile, then picks up your ring and turns to you. “Sorry I freaked her out.”

“You didn’t look too good yourself, there, Sergeant,” you reply.

Tim rolls his eyes and raises your left hand to put your ring in its rightful and permanent place.

“I mean, after all this time, you should know that I’m never letting you go. Marrying an Abercrombie model-level-hot cop is a once in a lifetime thing,” you tease, leaning toward him.

“Is that how it is?” Tim challenges.

“You’re right. You are the lucky one, I’m a catch.”

Tim’s eyes soften as he takes your hand and murmurs, “Yes, you are.”

“You want cuddles tonight don’t you?”

“I just spent an hour in the kitchen floor worried that you were divorcing me, what do you think?”

“Mom!” Anderson calls as she returns with her drawing items. “Can I draw us at the beach?”

“At the beach?” you repeat excitedly. “Absolutely.”

“I love you,” Tim says.

“I love you,” you reply – promise.

“Me too,” Anderson agrees before deliberating between blue and gray for the clouds.

Bonus:

“Wait, wait, Anderson asked if you were getting a divorce, and your mind immediately went to my wife is leaving me without telling me? The woman who treats you far better than you deserve and kind of settled for you?” Angela asks.

“The insults felt a bit unnecessary, but, yeah,” Tim answers. “What else was I supposed to think?”

“She’s six, Tim, kids her age have no filter. If someone in her class hears a word, she’s going to hear it,” Wesley points out.

Tim tips his head back and groans.

“I’m with Wesley on this one,” Nyla chimes in. “You should’ve asked instead of freezing, which to most kids sounds like, yep.”

“I’m still stuck on the fact that you could even think she’d leave you,” Lucy muses. “She loves you, like, a concerning amount.”

“Never took you for the insecure type, Bradford,” Nolan adds.

“It’s not insecurity,” Wade interjects. “Not wanting to lose the love of your life is a whole ‘nother thing.”

“Dad!” Anderson yells as she runs toward the table.

“Sorry,” you apologize, approaching behind her.

“Yeah, clearly, she wants to divorce you,” Angela tells Tim.

“Well,” you begin, wrapping your arm around Tim’s shoulders as you stand beside his seat. “I guess we’ve just got this marriage thing figured out more than Marcie’s parents.”

Tim smiles at you, and you barely catch Angela exclaim, “Marcie’s mom from PTA? That witch had more than a divorce coming.”

Not my Rookie, Not my Problem. (…..Sike.)

Tim Bradford x Rookie!reader [PLATONIC] — Ongoing series: Like Father, like Rookie.

Summary: When Grey conducts a training exercise for Mid-Wilshire, involving rookies having to partner up with new T.Os for the time being, Tim is faced with the obstacle of not being able to do what he does best—be your T.O.

The department wide training exercise had barely started, and already, something felt off.

Tim wasn’t sure what it was at first. He stood among the other training officers, arms crossed, watching their assigned rookies partner up with new T.O.s for the day.

It was meant to test adaptability, to see how the rookies handled new leadership styles. Logically, he understood that. But watching someone else give you instructions?

That was another story.

You were paired with Sergeant Harper, which, as far as temporary assignments went, wasn’t bad. Nyla was sharp. She knew what she was doing. Tim had no reason to worry.

And yet.

His jaw clenched as he tracked your movements through the training course, eyes narrowing at the way you hesitated for half a second before moving into position.

Normally, he’d bark at you to stop thinking so much, to trust your training.

But today? That wasn’t his job. He wasn’t your T.O. right now. You weren’t his problem.

Still, that didn’t stop his eyes from catching every little thing—the way you adjusted your stance, the slight delay in your reaction time.

Rookie mistakes. Correctable, but mistakes nonetheless.

And Harper, for whatever reason, wasn’t correcting them.

Tim shifted his weight, his arms tightening across his chest. Maybe she was waiting to address it later. Maybe she had a different method in mind. Maybe—

Nope. He couldn’t do it.

“Stop.”

His voice cut through the noise of the training ground before he even realized he’d spoken.

Everyone froze.

Harper turned first, her brow raised. “Bradford?”

Tim was already moving, stepping onto the course without hesitation. He ignored the way the other officers exchanged glances, ignored the fact that this wasn’t his drill to interrupt. His focus was solely on you.

“What the hell was that?” he demanded, eyes locked on yours. “You’re leaving yourself open. That’s a great way to get shot, kid.”

You blinked, caught between confusion and familiarity. “I—”

“Fix it.”

A beat of silence. Then, like muscle memory, you adjusted without argument. Quicker stance, sharper movements. The hesitation vanished, replaced by the reflex he’d drilled into you a thousand times over.

Tim gave a curt nod. “Better.”

Harper, to her credit, looked more amused than offended. “You know,” she mused, “last I checked, I was running this drill.”

Tim exhaled sharply, running a hand over his jaw. He wasn’t about to apologize, but he knew he’d overstepped. Still, as he glanced back at you—more alert now, more you—he found he didn’t regret it.

“You weren’t fixing it,” he said simply. “So I did.”

Harper smirked. “And here I thought you were handing them off for the day.”

Tim huffed, stepping back to rejoin the other T.O.s. “Guess that’s easier said than done.”

And just like that, it clicked.

Because maybe, for the next few hours, you weren’t technically his rookie. Maybe, on paper, you weren’t his responsibility right now.

But in every way that mattered?

Yeah. You still were.

taglist: @its-ares @nevereclipse @chezze-its @mcckunty

Sneaky Link Roy

Description: A deeper dive into sneaky link Roy and Y/N

Warnings: Suggestive content, allusions to sex, cursing, sneaky links

Word Count: 0.8k

"Roy, what did I say about calling me?" Y/N asked while she rubbed an expensive cleanser onto her face. He just happened to facetime her the one night all of her siblings were in town for some mission. Her phone was placed on her vanity counter as she did her nighttime skincare routine. Her knotless braids sat in a bun on top of her head while she wore a robe with her name embellished on it.

"I know, I know, but I need you," Roy's eyes couldn't help but travel down the silk robe. His mouth went dry at the sight of her cleavage.

"We're not exclusive, you could call someone else," Y/N offered. As much as she hated the thought of him with someone else, it would be the safer alternative if Jason or Dick caught them together.

"I want you, though," Roy whined and Y/N had to reconsider her choices. For him to be just her sneaky link, she didn't like the power he had over her emotions. She didn't appreciate how sweet he was to her but she loved how he begged for her attention.

"Okay, you always know what to say. I'll be over in thirty," Y/N said hanging up the phone.

Y/N had an important in the city that she rarely stayed in. It made the perfect place for her and Roy to meet up. Donning a pair of sweats and a zip-up hoodie, Y/N stuck her head out of her bedroom door. The key now was to avoid Alfred. If she timed it right, she could make it through the front door without anyone knowing she was gone for at least two hours.

"It's late, where are you going?" Damian asked as his sister attempted to sneak out of the manor. Y/N almost cursed once she remembered that Damian was off patrol because of his broken arm.

"Out," Y/N suspiciously drew out the one-syllable word.

"Out or out-out," Damian questioned trying to gauge if he wanted to come with her or not.

"I'll buy you a month's worth of vegan Ben & Jerry's if you walk away and don't tell anyone," Y/N offered with a quirked eyebrow. Damian contemplated his choices and realized that ice cream is always the answer.

"Deal," He backed away slowly into the hallway and Y/N dashed the excite.

- Roy doesn't remember how he ended up shirtless and cuffed to Y/N's bedframe. All he remembered was walking into her apartment and being attacked with kisses. She had him stripped to his boxers and she wore the thinnest lingerie he had ever seen. She straddled his lap and placed a ball gag in his mouth.

"Don't start whining, yet. We've barely started," Y/N said as she kissed his cheek. She stopped when she heard a phone buzzing on the floor.

"It's Jade," Y/N said as she held up his phone. Roy's eyes widened as he realized how this was about to go. Jade managed to call Roy almost every time he was with Y/N. It was never about Lian, either and that just pissed Y/N off even more.

"Hello," Y/N spoke into the cell phone while running her hand up and down Roy's thigh.

"Who is this?" Jade asked.

"Let's not pretend you don't know who I am,"

"Where's Roy, Y/N?" Jade asked with venom on her tongue. Y/N enjoyed teasing the assassin. It was like taking the bully's favorite toy.

"He's a little busy at the moment," Y/N said as she searched her bedside drawer for more fun playthings. Roy was sweating bullets. He knew that Jade was mildly crazy but Y/N was wildly petty.

"Give him the phone," Jade demanded.

"I would, but there's a gag in his mouth. He looks so pretty tied to the bed," Y/N winked at Roy and his cheeks turned an even brighter red than his hair. He was in for the night of his life.

"I will fuck your shit up," Jade threatened into the phone's speaker. Y/N simply removed the phone from her ear and waited for Jade to finish her string of curses.

"Bitch, you're the one who calls every time we're together," Y/N noted without missing a beat.

"And you'd think that the spoiled princess would learn to take a hint," Jade spoke and Y/N chuckled to herself a little before responding.

"You know what, I'm not arguing with a woman whose baby daddy just ate my ass," Y/N said without a hint of remorse. She had a smirk on her face the entire time. The line went quiet before Jade began to scream into her phone.

"You bi-," Jade started before being rudely interrupted.

"Have a blessed night. Okay, where were we?" Y/N turned to face Roy with bright eyes.

Plss write abt dennis and younger reader when they are in a relationship

BEING UN-DENNIS-ABLE

Dennis Reynolds x Younger Reader

Always Sunny Masterlist

Authors Note: There’s so much I have planned for Dennis and Readers rollercoaster of a relationship I figured I’d start with a bit about their first date and first little romantic interactions. I hope you like it !!!

Also that photo of shirtless Glenn makes me want to bark

Warnings/Tags: Usual behaviour from the gang, Dennis being a bastard man, misogyny, narcissism, sexism, plus surprise appearances from Mac’s mom and Artemis hehe

Word Count: 4.4k

Dennis Reynolds does not do relationships.

They’re messy. They’re draining. They’re restrictive and quite frankly, Dennis didn’t want to deny himself of all the potential hotties out there that he hadn’t met yet. So, he was always in the dating pool and open to the next manipulation opportunity.

He was a difficult man to tie down simply because he didn’t want to be. Yeah, some of the perks that came with having a girlfriend were attractive to Dennis, but the overall concept of being in a relationship was enough of a deterrent to happily sacrifice those benefits. He’d convinced himself he was better off single anyways.

Dating you was different because unlike the rest of his sexual conquests, he found it impossible to complete the D.E.N.N.I.S System. He couldn’t separate entirely. You were basically a part of the gang now, especially after you’d struck up a deal with Frank to become an ‘employee’ of Paddy’s Pub.

"Hey Frank, can I ask you something kinda private?" You asked after knocking quietly on the open office door to get his attention.

Frank screws his face up and looks at you from behind the desk. "Woah, hey kid… I ain’t into chicks your age alright?”

“What?” You exclaimed in disgust. “No! I need advice from you. Jesus, Frank..."

"Advice? Ohhhh... Like fatherly advice? Cos I totally get your Dad skipped town and left you all alone but I’m not the role model you should be looking up to. I ain’t a good person.”

"My dad didn’t leave me Frank, he died when I was three. I barely even remember him.” You shrugged casually. “Besides, you being a shitty role model is exactly why I came to you. Someone who's financially corrupt and has successfully gotten away with tricking the government.”

“Say no more.” Franks grins, kicking his legs up on the desk and pulling out a cigar case from the top drawer. “What are we talking?”

“Tax evasion.”

Before he could cut the tip of the cigar he burst into laughter at your response. “Why?”

You explained to Frank about how your family trust fund worked and the conditions that were set around accessing the millions of dollars in their estate. As long as you and your cousins had a ‘proper’ job and received some sort of legitimate government-taxable income, you could access the trust.

One of your cousins insisted on becoming a filmmaker instead of going to college and wanted to access the trust fund to pay for the production. Your aunt was firm that until his little project actually turned a profit, he’d have to get a job and work in the meantime. Now, he’s a thirty two year old aspiring filmmaker without a single completed project and working at a fucking vape store in Los Angeles.

His sister wasn’t much better. She had zero ambition or drive to make a life for herself. Her financial plan was to meet someone richer so she didn’t have to worry about it. She was a fucking moron, the whole family knew it. Her parents paid for a building just to get her into Stanford her grades were so bad. Credit where credit is due though, that’s where she met her equally as dumb yet uber-rich husband.

“How much do you need to earn for them to count it as a job?” Frank asks out of curiosity.

You shrug, “Anything with a payslip I guess. It doesn’t matter so much about what the job is, it’s more so they know we’re doing something productive with our lives each day instead of blowing all the cash and doing nothing.”

“Tell you what. I’ll put you down in the books Paddy’s and say you work here.“

“Really? That… Was easy...” You were a skeptic. “What do you want in return, huh?”

Frank was a businessman at his core, he knew never to enter a negotiation unless there was some sort of benefit to him. For the average Joe in this situation, they’d demand money but Frank has more money than he possibly needs — as do you.

“What do I want? How am I s’posed to know? You’re putting me on the goddamn spot here, kid!” Frank defended. “Just- You owe me one… I’ll cash in the favour whenever an opportunity comes up.”

That was how you (kind of) ended up working at Paddy’s with the gang.

The first four years of knowing you were tricky for Dennis because you were under 21 and the gang had enforced a rule amongst themselves to be better influencers around you to not taint your young, impressionable mind. Plus you weren’t legally allowed in the bar so you didn’t seen them as often as you did now.

Dennis assumed that once you were 21, it was open season and he could manipulate you at his full potential. You were basically in an incubator period from 18 to now, so Dennis had strategically been making ‘deposits’ until you had reached full maturity. And now that you had, he was ready to make a hefty withdrawal.

Except you knew that he just wanted sex. You weren’t dumb. You still flirted with him for those 4 years sure, but you knew exactly what he wanted from you in the end and wanted to see him work for it. You knew how his usual tactics worked because he’d always boast about his sexual conquests at the bar.

Much to his chagrin, you weren’t all over him or begging to bang the second you turned 21 which drove the man crazy. His usual tactics worked with women who didn’t know him, but he had to work a lot harder to win you over because you knew what he was like. He had to create a new strategy.

A new system.

After about 6 more months of sexual tension, you finally agreed to go on a date with him. It was one of the rare moments that Dennis was thrown off his rhythm when it came to women, which only intrigued him more about you. After he’d pulled his classic ‘oh no the restaurant is closed’ ruse, he suggested that you both go back to his apartment for takeout and a movie instead. He’d started the date off strong by getting you back to his place this easily, so he was confident the rest of his process would unfold as planned.

Cool, calm and collected.

You hadn’t been inside Mac and Dennis’ apartment since the drunken one night stand you had with Dennis. It was weird to be back inside because as much as it seemed sort of familiar, it still so foreign because you hadn’t really remembered that night and rushed out the next morning.

“Mac and I rented a bunch of DVD’s yesterday so it’s kinda perfect timing to have a movie night.”

The term ‘movie night’ was thrown around so often amongst the gang that sometimes Dennis found it hard to keep up with which movie night was which. It meant different things depending on who said it, and in what context. You know, like how words work? Whatever, it was Dennis’ problem not yours.

For example, when Frank ever referred to movie night, it meant one of two things:

1. The gang had invited him (on the rare occasion) to their existing group movie night arrangement.

2. He and Charlie were having a ‘Gruesome Twosome Tuesday’.

You see, it’s the way you say it that suggests innuendo. Saying movie night plain and simple doesn’t hint toward there being any other meaning. Movie night however, gave the impression that it’s not to be taken by its standard definition. That is was in fact, not the usual movie night.

Look at Sweet Dee next. If she said movie night, it meant that she had somehow weaselled her way into the boys movie night. More often than not, it was by eavesdropping on their conversation and assuming she was invited when she wasn’t. When she said movie night, it meant she was using it as an excuse to bang some guy on a first date without having to leave her apartment. A low effort win-win for her.

When Mac or Charlie said movie night, it meant it was one of the regular guys nights where Charlie went to Dennis and Mac’s apartment with a case or two of beers and hung out as they always did. Those happened multiple times a month. If either of them were talking about movie night though, it meant that Dennis had granted them access to one of his sex tapes to watch as a special treat.

Dennis had planted the idea of finding Bigfoot in Frank, Mac and Charlie’s heads earlier that day. All he had to do was look at his phone and say ‘holy shit there was a Bigfoot sighting in the Poconos’ and they were off on an impromptu camping trip. Mac wasn’t home which meant Dennis had the apartment to himself and now, he had a lovely lady to share it with.

“Let me guess…” Dennis said narrowing his eyes at you and pressing a finger to his lips as he pretended to read your mind. “Romantic comedy?”

“A rom-com on a date… How original,” you laughed with a playful eye roll, leaning against the back of the sofa and sipping your drink.

“Okay, how ‘bout a horror then?” He asked, resting his arm along the back of the couch, subtly bridging the distance between the two of you and chuckling. “Unless you’re too scared…”

Scary movies were the back up option for Dennis, but that was only the first detour. It was fine, he was smart enough to know the best manipulators accounted for deviations from the plan like this. Besides, watching a horror film meant that he could play the protective masculine stereotype instead of the in-touch-with-his-feelings guy. Both stereotypes worked with women so again, the plan was still on the right track.

He thought that at the inevitable jump scares, you’d curl into his side and cover your eyes. He’d then suggest turning it off, not wanting to cause any nightmares for you of course. You’d insist you wanted to keep watching and he’d say how cute you were when you were being brave — a comment laced with patronising undertone but he’d say it before leaning in for the kiss so you’d be focused elsewhere. Then? Well, then the second step of the D.E.N.N.I.S System would be nicely progressing.

Except you didn’t get scared, you laughed.

Fuck. Dennis had to pivot his strategy again. Shifting his approach to make fun of the movie with you instead, both of you made snarky comments throughout the film. He usually did that sort of thing with Mac, so naturally he was throwing out quips with ease. Each of them just as funny as the last.

And you know what? You were pretty fucking funny too. It surprised him, which it shouldn’t have because he knew your sarcastic sense of humour was predominantly witty, but he was just pleasantly elated that you could keep up with him. He was so just used to Mac’s dumb Austin Powers references and out of context Borat jokes said at the worst moments that it was nice to not have to deal with that for once.

After the movie ended, you were both pretty intoxicated and Dennis had made you laugh for hours on end. He was sure you’d be begging for his cock by now — he played a great game. He had you like putty in his hands. Add in the fact that you couldn’t drive home mixed with living 45 minutes away, and he had the perfect recipe to have you to stay over for the night.

Unfortunately for him, you politely declined. “I have an early morning tomorrow so I’ll get a cab home, it’s okay. Thank you for tonight though, I had fun.” You said slinging your bag over your shoulder and heading out to the hall.

“You’ll text me when you get home, yeah? I want to make sure you’re safe.” Dennis said with a charming grin, resting his arm up against the door frame to physically stand over you. Power move. He’d have loved to try to convince you to stay but that would have come across as pathetic. Only little bitch boys begged a woman for sex, real men convinced women that they wanted it.

And so, you finished the night of your first date in the backseat of a taxi, smiling ear to ear at the fact you’d successfully manipulated Dennis as much as he had attempted (and failed) to manipulate you. You knew what kind of guy Dennis was, you knew he’d be playing the role of a perfect man. You even picked up on his little scheme before it started when you’d googled the restaurant to see the menu. You were far too intrigued to see how his plan would play out to question him on the restaurants opening hours.

You’d also steered clear of cliche rom-com movies and let him suggest a horror film. You, a relative fan of the genre had heard terrible things about the latest M. Night Shyamalan movie but deliberately told him the complete opposite. Apparently it’s terrifying you said, acting as though you were nervous to watch it because of the raving reviews. Dennis loved a damsel in distress, a weak, vulnerable woman down on her luck or desperate enough to believe his empty promises.

As a woman of high intelligence and even higher standards, you knew from the get-go that you wouldn’t sleep with him that night. With neither of you remembering the one time you’d had sex four years prior, and the palpable sexual tension you’d both built up since, you knew Dennis was dying to fuck you again. You might be younger than him but you weren’t naive. Nor blind.You didn’t want to see how long you could make him wait for sex. No, no, no. That wasn’t enough long-term satisfaction. A rookie’s game. And you were no rookie. In terms of sex and experience comparative to Dennis yes, but you weren’t a rookie at manipulating people psychologically. Dennis thought he was winning his little manipulation game, and he was, but the poor guy didn’t realise he was the only one playing.

You and Dennis were manipulators at your very cores. You enjoyed playing the game as much as he did. The only difference was that he played to win and you played for your own amusement. You knew that he used the D.E.N.N.I.S system with every woman he pursued, and he wouldn’t stop until it was complete. That then became your motivation. He couldn’t win if he couldn’t complete all the steps and you wouldn’t go anywhere unless you grew bored of him.

Whether you or Dennis liked to admit it, you were pretty fucking similar — just in different ways. On the surface you both looked like polar opposites. And for the most part you were, but on the same deranged and twisted spectrum. You both denied you had feelings but you both had big emotions.

Dennis showed his anger outwardly by yelling and shamelessly causing a scene, commanding the power and authority over people by being the most dominant figure. Whereas your anger presented in a chillingly calm manner that made people far more unsettled than an explosive argument. You were the type of person to feel a tear roll down your face whilst laughing with how angry you were.

Charlie was always really scared when you got angry. More so than with Dennis.

Mac found Dennis scarier of course because he was emotionally attached to the man and never wanted to disappoint him, but with you he assumed he’d put you in a headlock or overpower you with some sick karate moves if you were to ever fight. You weren’t a physical fighter though, never was and never will be. Especially not against grown men.

One time you’d gotten in an argument with Mac about who knew Dennis better. You were in your mid twenties at this stage and Mac had overheard you talking about ‘the true Dennis’ to Charlie. He interrupted you and without any context, scrutinised you (and Charlie) for your ‘stupidity’ thinking you knew his own roommate and best friend better than he did. You had started to explain how you were speaking in terms of clinical psychology, he thought yelling the loudest and not listening to anyone would help drive home his point. You didn’t even disagree with him all, you were simply just talking about different things.

The next day you stopped by Mrs. Mac’s house and sent him a photo of the two of you sitting on the front porch having a cigarette together — a moment of maternal bonding Mac had craved his whole life. He furrowed his brows when he received the text and once Dennis noticed his confusion and saw the photo for himself, he grinned like the god damn Cheshire Cat.

“Is that your Mom? Fuck, that’s a good move… That’s really good…” Dennis trailed, impressed by your psychological warfare against Mac. Triggering his severe parental issues? Genius idea on your part.

That was the first moment Dennis truly respected you as a fellow manipulative elite. You were ruthless just like him which made you all the more challenging to conquer. It was his biggest project yet, four years and counting.

Mac runs his hand through his hair dramatically and paces back and forth across the living room. “She is such a bitch, dude! Why is she still trying to be a part of the gang? Like, first she tries to steal you away from me- us, and then fights me saying she knows you better than anyone else? Like hello? I literally live with you Dennis.” Mac scoffs, frowning over at Dennis who was too busy zooming into the picture.

“Wait, is your Mom smiling?! Wow… I didn’t know she knew how to do that.”

Mac snatches the phone back, “No! She’s squinting from the sun! Obviously. But Dennis, trust me she was such a psycho yesterday fighting me over you.”

Dennis had already zoomed in on your chest in the photo and was far too preoccupied staring at your tits to care about the conversation anymore. “You might live with me sure, but I haven’t been inside you.”

“You-”

“And I’m never going to.” Dennis finishes bluntly, not wanting to entertain the ludicrous conversation whatsoever.

Turned out you went over to Mac’s mom’s house to she had any of Mac’s old high school yearbooks. You weren’t up to anything particularly diabolical, you just wanted to see if you could get any dirt on Dennis because you weren’t convinced any of them were popular in school. You partly knew that taking the photo was with Mac’s mom would trigger him so you sent it just as an amusing little power play.

“Hey Mrs. Mac. Brought you these.” You said tossing a fresh cigarette deck at her. After she had already coughed a puff of smoke in your face as she answered the door mind you.

She grunted at you and stepped outside onto the patio, sitting down in her usual chair and opening the pack you’d given her. She was already smoking inside before you got there but here she was lighting a new one now. The half-smoked and still lit cigarette was burning a small hole in the sofa inside but not enough to cause a fire.

That wouldn’t be for a few more years.

Mrs. Mac held the cigarette between her wrinkled lips and scowled up at you, “Sit down.”

“Oh. Yeah, yeah okay. Thanks.” You said quickly sitting in the other chair. You’d only met the woman once or twice before and had barely heard her speak more than a few sentences.

She held the open pack towards you and grunted, which you interpreted as ‘do you want one’ and thanked her before lighting it.

“Sorry for showing up unannounced, I needed to get away from the guys.”

She nods, “Mmph.”

“I was wanting to look at some of Mac’s old school stuff? They were talking about it the other day is all, I’m a little curious.”

Silence.

“Is his room uh, just upstairs? Or…”

Mrs. Mac nods and takes a long drag of her cigarette, saying nothing but turning towards you this time.

“Cool… Yeah I’ll just go look after I finish this.”

She looks away from you again and closes her eyes, leaning back in her chair and letting the sunlight hit her face. “Do you ever shut the hell up? Just sit and smoke kid. The sun is out. Life is good.”

You recall Mac saying she thrived in sunlight once, which you were intrigued by because she was the human embodiment of a brick wall. But this was pretty optimistic of her. After a few minutes of more weirdly uncomfortable silence, she suddenly coughed and spluttered, spitting out a sizeable amount of phlegm into a nearby empty beer can before resuming her sunbaking.

That’s when you pulled out your phone and took a photo of the two of you to send to Mac — when his Mom was ‘thriving’ with you and not him. From that moment on, Mac had a grudge against you. For stealing Dennis and stealing his Mom.

Your on and off again nature with Dennis became a normal part of the gang’s dynamic. Sometimes you were both friendly and on good terms, sometimes you were at each other’s throats or dating other people to make the other jealous. Sometimes you would agree to part ways and not keep doing this toxic cycle, but a month or two later you’d be hooking up in the back office again.

Nobody could keep up with how to define yours and Dennis’ relationship because the two of you never wanted a definition or a label in the first place. It was just a never ending game of cat and mouse that most people would find infuriating and draining — but it worked for both of you and your twisted conniving selves.

There were little things that the two of you would do that subtly showed you meant more to each other than just casual sex. Tiny details that showed you both had cracks in your meticulously crafted armour against catching feelings. For example, whenever the gang had a particularly dangerous or life-threatening scheme, you were always the first person Dennis would look for or check was okay. It just became a natural instinct for him to protect you.

Without being asked to or having any knowledge of his dislike for the skins, you peeled Dennis’ apples for him. It was strangely comforting knowing he didn’t have to explain to you how the skins were riddled with toxins because he assumed that was what you believed too. They weren’t, and you knew that. You just peeled them sometimes, which almost felt like fate the first time he saw.

Dennis was too much of a realist to believe in fate, but if he did he might have thought the apple thing was a sign that you were a keeper. Maybe.

“What’re you eating?” He said with a slight scrunch of his nose.

“Apple slices with cinnamon sugar. It’s like Apple pie but without the pie. And cold.”

Dennis smiles gently, “You peel your apples?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a fucking baby. I know.” You sighed, not in the mood for another joke about your age. The guys always teased you about that and it was getting old.

“No, no… I don’t eat the skins either. I’m not fucking with you I swear,” he assured.

He liked that you remembered to peel his apples from that point on. It made him feel seen and heard, which was something he didn’t encounter very often. He liked knowing that you cared about his wants and needs, like you actually gave a fuck. You even asked him for his advice when you went shopping by texting him different outfit options. He liked that too, being able to dictate your wardrobe to his tastes. His favourite thing though, was when you would ask his opinion on what nail polish colour you should get each time you visited the salon.

“Hey Dee, c’mere for a sec.” Dennis said ushering her over to him and showing her your most recent text. “Do different nail polish colours mean different things for women?”

“Red means she’s a whore.” Artemis calls out from where she was sitting in the bar. She’s several margaritas in but she’s still as quick as a whip.

“Oh! Yeah, that one’s true actually. Classy women like myself, get elegant neutral colours.” Dee said smugly holding the backs of her hands up to show her pale pink nails.

“So I’ll say get pink then?”

“No, don’t just say pink,” Dee says mocking his stupid boy ignorance. “It’s called ‘Bubble Bath’ and it’s a classic.”

Artemis then joins them at the other end of the bar. “It’s all about tone. Hot pink? Spring break. Baby pink? Eh, it’s pretty safe all-round. If she gets anything neon or super long, she’s trashy. And if she gets only a clear top coat she’s probably a prude.” She shrugs.

Dennis can’t help but imagine about what your hand would look like around his cock with different coloured nails. Neutral colours weren’t a bad image. Better than something gaudy like electric blue or something he thought.

“Bright red is for cheap whores but dark red is for those real expensive whores. Y’know the ones that don’t suck cock for less than a benjamin.” Artemis continues.

“Wait- Are you kidding? I can charge a hundred bucks for a quick lil trip down south? Huh…” Dee ponders, briefly considering the quick source of income.

Frank, who was eavesdropping from one of the booths in the bar laughs, “Don’t kid yourself Deandra. Gangly women like you could probably only get fifty bucks max.”

“You have good feet though. Men pay big bucks for flippers like those.” Artemis added.

“Dark red it is.” Dennis smirks, responding to your text and telling you to send a photo when you were done.

When your photo came through? Fuck, yeah Dennis knew he made the right decision. It looked hot on you. And they’d look even hotter roaming his body later that night he thought.

Which they did.

Find Anything Black!Batmom Here!

★Fics★

Thomas Troubles

→ Baby Thomas is causing trouble

Batmom giving birth

→ Damian not knowing why y/n’s baby is brown

Batmom Being Pregnant

→ pregnant batmom things

MILF STUFF

→Reactions to batmom being a milf

Winter Wonderland

→ winter at the manor

Keeping Up With Her Kids Love Lives 1 2

Strummin’ My Pain

→ Duke and Batmom jamming out 

Songs that remind me of Black!Batmom and Bruce 1 2 

T-Shirt and Hair Tied

→ Bruce just wants to fuck his wife in his t-shirt

Invited to the Cookout

→ Clark makes the mistake of putting raisins on the potato salad

The Key to Marriage w/ Bruce and Y/N Wayne

→ They sit down for an interview and discuss their marriage

Smile for the Camera

→ His wife wants to make a sex tape

For the man who has everything

→ Dick doesn’t know what to get Bruce for Christmas

Sense of normalcy

→ Batmom and Jason at four stages of his life

“Oh My God! My Parents are Swingers!”

→ Dick finds out about his parents’ extra-marital activities

Don’t Touch My Hair

→ Sometimes having black hair is stressful

Batmom Finding out about Damian

→ The bullshit Bruce be on

BHM

→ Black History Month in the Wayne Household

Winter Wonderland

→ Winter at Wayne Manor

In High School

→ a brief story of Y/N and Bruce in high school

In the Before Times

→ What Batmom did before getting with Bruce

My Baby Boy

→ Batmom finds out Jason is still alive

★Headcanons★

Batmom & the pets HCs

Batmom Dying HCs

Being Pregnant w/ Bruce’s Baby HCs

★Blurbs★

Vampire blurb

Batmom singing Megan Thee Stallion lyrics

Blurb #003

Blurb #005

Blurb #028

Batfam at a Cookout Blurb

Tiktoks about Black!Batmom

F My Baby Dad Blurb

Batmom Gets Pearls Blurb

Batmom Gets Mugged blurb

Juneteenth Blurb

Batmom and Bruce Working Out Blurb

Picture Day Blurb

Black Wife Effect Blurb

Batfam Sick Blurb

Mother’s Day Blurb

Black!Batmom Knitting

Binging Shows w/ Bruce

Bruce Missing a Phone Call

Jim Gordon Instigating Blurb

Elevator Blurb

Hot Mom Blurb

Black!Batmom & the Renaissance Tour

Batmom’s reaction to the Red Hood

Bruce is Dead in this One

Announcing the Twins Blurb

Birth of the Twins Blurb

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

‧̍̊˙· 𓆝.°𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐫 .𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊

pairing ☽˚⁀➷｡ andy barber x fem!reader

summary ☽˚⁀➷｡ andy knows what he really wants but laurie doesn’t seem to want that

word count ☽˚⁀➷｡ 3,716

warnings ☽˚⁀➷｡ PART TWO OF SERIES being a parent, speaking spanish, speaking french, taking homecoming pictures, teenagers being annoying, confrontation if you squint, being a concerned partner, passionate romantic sex, anal, oral receiving, sextape, squirting, andy cheating, jacob accidentally calling reader mom, proposing, breeding, size kink, andy being a dilf and making you go brrrrrr DO YOU DIRTY SERIES

authors note ☽˚⁀➷｡ happy laurie barber hate club friday!!! enjoy the second addition to the laurie hate “series” PLEASE REBLOG MY TAGLIST IS ENDING ON JULY 10TH PLEASE FOLLOW @dulceslibrary AND TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN I POST 18+ ONLY,, feedback is appreciated

enjoy the official laurie barber hate club playlist

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

Keep reading

The Right Choice - Walt Deville Imagine (The Invitation)

Title: The Right Choice

Pairing: Walt Deville X Reader

Word Count: 1,458 words

Warning(s): presence of a gun

Summary: A glimpse into (Y/n)'s life with Walt after choosing their love and freedom. And the interruption that tried to get in the pair's way.

Author's Note: I need to stop writing for him before I watch this movie. I just can't help it. Look at him.

Part Two to "Freedom" (Read Here)

PART THREE HERE

--------------------------

I felt guilty every time I walked into the manor after a hunt.

I would take all the steps I could apart from stripping on the doorstep. I would pull off my shoes, my socks, my jacket. I would place my weapons in a bucket of soap and water that Mr. Field would put out some time before I came home.

But still, with all those steps in place, I felt like I was dragging in pieces of the last hunt. Blood, dirt, sweat. It all sat on my skin like another layer of clothing.

The first time it happened, I felt sick to my stomach the entire night. Walt spent all night soothing me, promising that all he could think of was how thankful he was that I was okay.

He made a habit of meeting me at the door. He would kiss me with no concern for the mess on my clothes and skin. His hands would pull me as close to him as possible. He would barely pull away to mutter out how glad he was to see me.

Now, the guilt seemed to only last as long as I was in the house without Walt greeting me.

He left me to my own devices to shower and get dressed, but the rest of the night would be spent with him almost attached to my side.

He would guide me downstairs to ensure that I ate before going to sleep for a very long time. He'd rarely eat with me. He'd usually entertain himself by my side; asking about the hunt, leaving gentle kisses and touches on my skin to comfort me.

After that, he'd follow me upstairs.

I would lay under the covers. He would sit or lay next to me, refusing to leave until sleep had set in. I only knew that he left after that because I would often wake up on my own. He would be off on his own, taking care of something.

It was such a normal pattern now. After months of staying in the manor, everything felt so easy. Natural.

Walt had given me the freedom, the love that he had promised me all those nights ago.

But of course, true perfection is an unrealistic thing to strive for. Everything was going to have a flaw, a bump, a twist in the story.

It was the day I had gotten home from a hunt. Weapon cleaned, shower taken, food eaten. I had gotten home early enough that my rest had taken most of my day. It was dark by the time my eyes opened again.

It was a rare occasion where Walt was still next to me when I woke up. He was sitting on the bed, leaning his back on the headboard as he read a book. I didn't speak when I woke up. I simply shifted, forcing my head under his arm and onto his chest.

He chuckled at me. "I hope you slept well, my love."

"I always rest better with you next to me," I muttered. "How are you?"

"Better with you safe."

I scoffed a bit at him.

I moved a bit, so my chin was resting on his chest. He grinned down at me. I shifted up, pressing my lips to his. He hummed against my lips, kissing me back.

There was a muffled thump of his book hitting the mattress before his arms wrapped around me, guiding me to straddle his lap. I pulled away a few moments later, resting my forehead against his. His thumbs traced circles on my sides.

"I feel like I should thank you," I mumbled. Walt's eyebrows furrowed for a moment. "I've never felt so... at peace. I finally feel like I'm not running from place to place. I can barely explain how much that means to me. I just... I-"

Any thought I had was stopped when there was a slam downstairs. It was loud enough to echo through the house.

I pushed myself off the bed and opened one of the bedside drawers to grab the gun I had put there.

"When exactly did you put a gun there," Walt asked.

"When I first moved into your room," I shrugged.

"Why?"

"Because I thought sleeping with it under my pillow would worry you," I explained.

I walked out of the room before he could ask any more questions.

I didn't get a few of what was wrong until I got to the top of the stairs.

"Oh no..."

I walked down the staircase as soon as I saw who it was.

My old hunting partner had Mr. Field shoved into the wall, getting in his face and muttering something I couldn't hear.

"What are you doing here," I asked.

My hunting partner stepped back, looking at me in shock. "You're alive."

"Yeah," I nodded.

"I... I came to find you," he stammered out. "Take you home."

"It took you months to find me?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "You're the one who sent me here. It's not like this was some difficult task."

"I... I know," he replied. "Come on, let's go home and we can figure all of this out."

"No."

"What?"

I heard Walt's footsteps walking down the stairs to stand with me.

"I'm not going with you," I explained, shrugging.

"This is your fault," my old partner said, turning his attention to Walt. "How'd you pull that off? How long did it take to get them to repeat you blindly-"

I stepped between the pair of them, pointing the gun at him.

"(Y/n)-"

"I am choosing to stay here on my own," I snapped. "I am free here. I am more than simply useful. I am more than what you convinced me that I was. I am loved. Truly loved. Loved and wanted and desired... all the things you could never make me feel. I stopped following your orders."

His jaw clenched.

"And I'm in love," I muttered. They were almost the same words that had died on my tongue earlier that night. The weight of them still sat on my shoulders and made my heart speed up. "You don't get to take that from me."

"(Y/n), this isn't you-"

"Mr. Field," I said, ignoring his pleas to get me to come back. "Will you escort or... guest out? If he refuses to leave, then you can take whatever steps you see necessary."

"Of course," the older man nodded to me once. "Have a good evening."

"You too," I replied before turning around and walking up the stairs again.

I was almost embarrassed. I didn't want to address anything that had happened. I would've rather curled under the covers and let myself forget that any of this had happened.

The door to the room closed quietly as I put the gun back in the bedside drawer. I took a deep breath before looking at Walt. He stepped over to me with a grin on his face.

"I'm so sorry about what happened," I said. "I don't know why he came here. I assumed he just didn't care. I-"

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he stopped me before reaching up, so his hand cupped the side of my face. "I have no interest in what he did beyond how it hurt you."

"I... I'm okay," I promised.

"You're sure?"

I nodded, grinning a bit.

"Good," he kissed the cheek that his hand hadn't been touching. When he leaned back, he kept his face close to mine. "You're in love with me?"

I closed my eyes for a moment. "I was going to say something earlier, but then everything happened tonight, and I didn't get a chance to. I wanted you to hear it under different circumstances-"

Walt leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him. My hands touched his shoulders as he did.

The kiss was slow, patient. It felt like he was attempting to commit the whole moment to memory as perfectly as he could. Every detail, feeling, moment... every piece of it. At least, that's what my mind was trying to do. I was simply hoping his mind was doing the same.

Walt pulled away slowly. He was smiling at me when I opened my eyes.

"I love you too," he said quietly.

I smiled back as one of my hands moved to rest on the back of his neck, gently playing with his hair.

I had never been so calm in a moment like this. There was no pressure or worry. It was all just love and affection and... perfect.

It was all that I needed to confirm that this was all that I truly needed.

--------------------------

Author's Note: My ability to ignore the existence of his wives is truly impressive. Don't worry, I'm doing it intentionally, I'm not just stupid.

--------------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

Someone I Care About

Requested Here!

Pairing: Lev 'Oz' Ozdil x fem!detective!reader

Summary: When Karadec pairs you and Oz on an unusual case, you get more than one confession.

Warnings: fluff, angst, typical show warnings, brief depiction of dead animal and animal autopsy, love confessions, PROTECTIVE OZ!!

Word Count: 4.0k+ words

A/N: I don't think I'll ever get over this scene. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who didn't realize they changed his name despite watching the previous episodes over and over.

“Good morning!” you greet as you enter the bullpen with two donut boxes.

“Now it is,” Daphne replies with a smile. “Thank you!”

“Of course. Any leads on the parking lot case?”

“Morgan’s reviewing the security logs now, but nothing yet,” Karadec answers. You open a box and pass him a paper bag with an apple fritter as he tells you more about what Morgan is looking for.

“Thanks,” Oz says softly, taking his favorite from the open box.

Daphne shakes her head and looks at Karadec as you approach your desk. They can see that Oz is different with you, but she knows you don’t see it.

“I can check with tech to see if they recovered the camera footage from the gas station across the street,” you offer as your computer turns on.

“Yes, but check for other cameras while you’re at it. Most of the stores were closed last night when we went to the scene, so see if they’re willing to help out now,” Karadec requests.

“Will do.”

Oz watches you momentarily, then averts his gaze to the crime scene report on his desk. He knows he has a growing crush on you – though he wishes there was a better word for his feelings – but you’re partners first, and your work and safety are more important.

“I know who killed the man in the 1987 BMW M3 E30 coupe,” Morgan announces as she arrives.

“The couple in the orange tracksuits?” you ask.

Oz laughs, but when Morgan turns toward you with her brows raised, he stops.

“Did you get a confession?” Morgan inquires.

You shake your head and turn your monitor toward the rest of your team, and the gas station surveillance footage just emailed by the tech team shows the couple carrying pistols in high resolution.

“Morning,” Soto calls, stepping out of her office. “We’ve got a 10-54 and a 10-91d at Silver Lake Reservoir. First responders requested assistance from Major Crimes about 5 minutes ago.”

“We’ve got two suspects in last night’s murder,” Karadec responds.

“Then divide and conquer.”

Karadec nods, then turns to you. “You and Oz head to the reservoir. Keep us updated.”

“Yes, sir,” you reply. “I emailed the manager of the hotel beside the scene and they’re sending all of last night’s recordings over.”

Karadec, Daphne, and Morgan leave, and Oz offers to drive. While you gather your things, Daphne punches Karadec’s arm as he shifts into drive.

“What?” he demands.

“I know what you’re doing, and while I appreciate it, what if it doesn’t work?” she questions.

“Something has to happen. Everyone else can see how he feels,” Karadec grumbles. “Besides, it wasn’t my idea.”

“Selena?!” she exclaims.

“Force him close to her and something has to happen, right?” Morgan says. “I’m surprised you haven’t forced them into a closet or something already.”

“We’re professionals,” Karadec reminds her. “But if this doesn’t work, we might need a Plan B.”

“I know where the keys to the supply closet are,” Morgan offers.

“Let’s make imprisonment plan Z,” Daphne suggests.

“10-54 and 10-91d is a weird combination,” you muse as Oz drives toward the reservoir.

“What are the odds it’s a man beats the gun, gun beats gorilla, gorilla beats the man type thing?” he jokes.

“In Los Angeles? Slim to none.”

“Does dispatch have anything that could help?”

“All that’s in the prelim report is the presence of the bodies and a note that there was a suspicious vehicle nearby that left as soon as patrol arrived. Odd, but not inherently helpful.”

“Hey, thanks for the donuts,” Oz says, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

You smile and close the report as you reply, “No problem. It’s been a long week, it’s the least I could do.”

“Right,” Oz murmurs. As he hits the blinker to pull into the reservoir’s lot, he asks, “So, uh, are you doing anything this weekend?”

“No. Are you?” Before Oz can answer, he hits the brakes, you lean toward the dash, and you both whisper, “Whoa.”

“Is that…” Oz begins after he parks.

“A crocodile?” you finish. “Yeah.”

“I was going to say alligator.”

You exit the car together before you explain, “I babysat for Morgan while she was working a case - Ludo was busy - and Elliot showed me a documentary. Crocodiles are gray-ish green and have narrow, triangular snouts.” As you reach the crime scene, you squat and say, “Like this guy.”

“It’s a weird one, huh?” a nearby police officer asks.

“That’s an understatement,” Oz replies. “Were you first on scene?”

“Yes, sir, my partner and I were. When we arrived, the bodies were on the bank here. There was a .357 magnum in the vic’s hand.”

“The human vic?” you clarify with a smile.

“IT would make a much cooler story if it was in croc’s,” Oz says.

You grin at him, and Oz momentarily forgets to focus on the case.

“The report mentioned a suspicious vehicle?” you say, standing.

“Right. It was still pretty dark, but it was a van of some kind parked over there,” the officer states, pointing toward a taped-off section of Armstrong Avenue.

“Like a moving van?” Oz inquires.

“More like an ice cream truck,” another officer answers. “It pulled away with the lights off right after we arrived.”

“Someone could have moved the croc here in an ice cream truck,” you muse. “Human, too, I suppose.”

“You don’t think it died here?” an officer asks.

“Don’t think it lived here,” you correct. “American crocodiles are eastern animals. Most of them live in Florida. There’s close to no chance that this thing came from anywhere in LA.”

“But it looks like the vic killed it,” Oz adds. “We need to get the ME.”

“Croc is not going to be easy to move,” you murmur.

“You watched the documentary; how much do they weigh?” Oz asks.

“Females are about 400. Males can get up over 1,000, I think. This guy looks pretty big, so I’m guessing he’s a male.”

“Can you not just flip it over like a kitten?” one of the officers suggests.

“Not if it’s 1,000 pounds,” Oz points out.

“And not without sticking my finger in its cloaca,” you state. You furrow your brows and mutter, “I can’t hang out with those kids anymore.”

Oz pulls a pair of gloves on and retrieves the victim’s wallet. “No ID in here. I’ll call the ME, if you want to brainstorm what to do about croc.”

“Sounds good,” you reply. “And we’re going to need the evidence you collected,” you tell the officers.

“I’ll move it to your car.”

“This is weird,” Oz whispers as he raises his phone to his ear.

“You mean this isn’t going to be open-and-shut?” you ask incredulously. “Karadec will be so disappointed in us.”

“I’ll take the blame.”

“Gentlemanly, but no need.” You bump your elbow against Oz’s and add, “We’re going to solve this.”

“Yeah,” he agrees softly.

An hour after you return to the station, you spin in your seat while your phone’s speaker plays monotonous hold music.

“ME texted,” Oz alerts. “Cause of death appears to be blood loss from a traumatic injury to the abdomen. She can’t confirm whether that injury is a croc bite until she finishes the autopsy.”

“I’m betting it’s not that simple,” you say. “Even if it were, someone has to find out who dumped a crocodile in a reservoir.”

“I’ve got camera footage!” he cheers, beginning to type.

“I’ve got-” you glance at your watch before concluding – “another 45 minutes on hold.”

Oz nods, and your computer chimes before he wheels his chair beside yours. He knocks into your chair and grabs your hand to steady both of you. Your eyes lock, and you laugh before you open his email.

Oz curls his fingers into his palm, fighting the urge to reach for your hand again. The video from the traffic camera begins, and as you fast-forward through it, Oz takes the chance to watch you rather than the screen.

“Leo Sherman,” someone greets on your phone.

You reach across Oz and pull the receiver to your ear before you introduce yourself.

“Yes, I’m working a case involving an American crocodile… I took some measurements at the scene, one second…”

Oz sees your notebook before you do and passes it to you. You smile, mouth thank you,and tilt the phone where he can hear, too.

“Okay, it was 14 feet and 7 inches from the tip of its nose to the tip of its tail, the tail base was broad, and it was a male,” you read off.

“Good measurements,” Leo muses. “You confirmed it was a male?”

“I did.”

“Didn’t think LAPD had it in ‘em. Alright, so how’d this crocodylus acutus die?”

“.357 magnum shot to the head.”

“Ouch. Let me ask – how do I phrase this – did the body seem bloated?”

You look at Oz, who shrugs before he says, “I thought so. It’s legs looked too small, if that makes sense.”

“Perfect sense,” Leo replies. “Unfortunately, there’s not much I can tell you without seeing the body. If you have a lab that can work with it, I can review the findings.”

“But it’s not from here, right?” you clarify.

“Most certainly not. I’d guess it’s from the Southeastern US and was either heavily sedated or killed before it was moved.”

“Could it have survived here for any length of time? Specifically in a reservoir?”

Leo hums. “Hypothetically, it could have. These animals prefer salinity, and while I’ve seen them in river systems in Florida, I can’t imagine prolonged survival – let alone thriving – in a reservoir.”

You hesitate, then ask, “Any chance you’d like an all-expenses paid trip to Los Angeles to solve the mysterious death of this guy?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

After you end the call, you contact the morgue to ask them to store the crocodile however they can. With their confused assurance, you return your attention to the computer.

“It does look like an ice cream truck,” Oz says as the suspicious vehicle arrives at the reservoir just after midnight.

“Ice cream? You two planning a date?” Morgan asks as she returns.

You turn quickly, your eyes wide as you look at Daphne. She shakes her head, and you exhale in relief that your secret is safe.

“How’s the 10-91d/10-54 case?” Karadec asks.

“I have the same question,” Soto interjects.

“You first,” you insist.

“Daphne got the confession,” Karadec says. “Budget Bonnie and Clyde didn’t want to talk to me, so she told them about a high school boyfriend who became a petty thief.”

“They ate that up,” Daphne adds. “Maybe I should have been an actress.”

“Let me guess,” Morgan says, pointing at Oz. “Drowning victim and a carcass scavenged by a mountain lion.”

“Oh, you’re not even close,” Oz brags, smiling as he crosses his arms.

“For once, Morgan, I don’t think you’re going to guess this,” you comment. “By the way, Lieutenant Soto, I spent $1,500 of department resources to bring in an expert.”

Morgan scoffs and points at herself while Soto raises her brows in a silent challenge.

“We need his help,” Oz defends.

“And I’m asking for forgiveness,” you add with a smile. “Did I mention your hair looks really nice today?”

“I’m about to ask what you need an expert for, and if it’s something-“

“A dead crocodile,” you and Oz interrupt together.

The bullpen falls silent, and Soto says, “You’re forgiven.”

“Do you know what a group of crocodiles is called?” Morgan asks.

“Bask on land, float in water,” you answer as you turn back to your computer.

“Wait, go back,” Oz requests as you resume the video. “Look, something’s reflecting in the windshield.”

You lean closer and play the moment when the van enters the neighborhood beside the reservoirs.

“It’s an operator permit,” Morgan interjects. “State regulations require all operators to have one.”

“Aren’t they usually in windows?” you argue.

“Some places state that operators have to wear them while operating. Sec 250.1103(j)(2) of the Jacksonville Municipal Code, for example.”

“How do you know that?” Karadec asks.

“Documentary on how sex offenders utilize tourism and sales in Florida to choose targets,” she answers with a shrug.

“An ice cream truck from Florida could transport a crocodile from Florida,” you tell Oz.

Your phone buzzes, and you read the message before you stand. “We’re going to see the ME,” you announce. “Congratulations on the confession, Daphne.”

“Thanks! And good luck with the crocodile,” she replies.

“We don’t need luck,” Oz scoffs. He lowers his voice to add, “Thank you.”

“Dr. Sherman left Orlando about an hour ago,” you tell Oz as you enter the station the following morning. “He has several layovers, so he won’t be here until tonight. Morgue has the croc on ice until he can start the autopsy tomorrow.”

“A crocodile autopsy,” he repeats. “Florida’s a different place.”

“And Los Angeles is so normal,” you agree facetiously.

“I was looking at the ME’s autopsy report and the toxicology, and I don’t think John Doe died near that reservoir,” Oz explains.

“Okay,” you murmur, pulling your chair to his side. “Why?”

He spreads the files across his desk, then points to the diagram of the deadly wound on the unidentified victim.

“Silver Lake Reservoir is concrete lined, but the ME said the wound had sand embedded in it.”

“Sand as in beach sand or dirt?” you specify.

“Sand from a salt-water source. ME supports our idea that croc wasn’t from here but also thinks the vic wasn’t either.”

“I mean, yeah, that makes sense. Did you contact CDFA? If they drove the ice cream truck into the state, they would’ve gone through a border protection station.”

“Would you believe me if I said CDFA has no record of a Florida ice cream truck? The man on the phone said they’ve gotten pretty lax, and if It went through an auto lane, they probably waved them through.”

“That’s helpful. Great for the people who don’t want to stop, but not as great for us. Granted, I guess pre-packaged ice cream isn’t a plant and pest concern.”

“Pretty much what he told me.”

“Have you been here all night?” Karadec asks.

You jump slightly, moving back from Oz as Karadec walks to his desk.

“No, we just needed an early start,” you answer.

“I bet you did,” Morgan teases as she arrives. “So, catch me up, maybe I can help. Unless you want to keep looking at those reports sitting closer than professional work friends, in which case, continue.”

“Morgan,” Karadec sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It’s fine,” you say. “Our crocodile expert won’t be here until tonight, so we’ve got a day to work without any information on where it came from. We think our vic probably came from the same place, so unless we can find the ice cream truck today, we have nothing to go on.”

“We requested a list of Florida’s registered ice cream trucks, but they told us it would take a while,” Oz adds.

“Put out a BOLO?” Karadec asks.

“Yeah, nothing so far.”

“We could go out and look,” you suggest. “Not like we have anything urgent here.”

Oz tilts his head, then nods. As you gather your things, Daphne enters the bullpen and asks to talk to you.

“Are you going to do something?” she asks after leading you into an empty office.

“About?” you respond softly.

She smiles and shakes her head. “You have feelings for him, and ignoring them won’t make them go away.”

“Do Karadec and Morgan know?”

“I don’t think so, I think they’re pointing it out for the same reason I do.”

“Pointing what out?”

“That you and Oz work well together, and you’d be great together in other ways, too.”

“He’s my partner, Daph, I’m not going to jeopardize that because I have feelings for him.”

“But you’ll jeopardize your happiness,” she argues. “That’s not better.”

“You don’t get it. I… I can’t lose him.”

“Then don’t let him get away.”

You nod, hear Oz call your name, and exit the office. As you follow him to the car, you wonder if Daphne’s right. What if ignoring your feelings leads to a worse outcome than telling Oz how you feel?

“Good morning,” Leo Sherman greets brightly. “I have some answers for you.”

“Can I take a picture for my son?” Morgan asks, her eyes wide at the crocodile on the oversized metal table.

“Please,” he encourages. “I love to see kids interested in science. The ones that aren’t exhibiting sociopathic tendencies, I mean.”

“We understand,” Soto assures him. “Now, what did you find that can help us?”

“This crocodile is from Florida. The body was nearly frozen after death but hadn’t thawed all the way when you found it at the crime scene.”

“How can you tell that?” you ask.

“Essentially, the body decomposed at different rates. Some of the organs are more preserved than the tissues. But, the body didn’t freeze entirely, so there is very uneven decomp. I understand your victim showed similar signs of offset decomp?”

“Yes, sir,” Oz answers. “ME couldn’t pinpoint time of death.”

“Then I’d wager the bodies were kept in the same place for similar lengths of time.”

“So we’re working a secondary scene and these, uh, victims were killed in Florida?” Karadec clarifies.

“That’s my best guess,” Leo says. “There’s nothing remarkable about this creature. It wasn’t a pet, cause of death was a gunshot to the head from a relatively close range, and it’s jaw was broken after death.”

“To frame him for the murder of our victim,” you connect. “We need to find the person or people driving that ice cream truck.”

As if on command, your phone rings with an incoming call from a Florida number. You excuse yourself to answer it in the hallway, then return with a bright smile.

“Ramone Sears,” you say. “He didn’t renew his ice cream truck registration, and you’ll never guess who just attempted to register one in Los Angeles.”

“Do you know where he is?” Oz asks.

“No, but I know which DMV he was at this morning, and he can’t be staying far from there.”

“Get out there,” Soto says. “Call in reinforcements.”

“Yes, ma’am,” you and Oz answer.

“Thank you, Dr. Sherman!” you call.

“Are you kidding? This is the best vacation I’ve been on since my honeymoon.”

“Ramone Sears,” you call as you approach the open ice cream truck.

“Buenos dias,” he replies.

“I know you speak English,” you say, flashing your badge. “We’re with the LAPD and have a few questions for you if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.” He sits in the open refrigerated back and spreads his arms. “How can I help?”

“How long have you been in Los Angeles?” you ask as Oz moves around the truck. He shakes his head as he returns to your side.

“About a week,” Ramone answers. “Looking for a new start, you know.”

“Right. Out of curiosity, did you go through a border patrol station when you came in?”

“Sure. Very nice woman waved as we went through. It was busy and hot, poor thing.”

Nodding, you prepare yourself to ask, “Did the dead crocodile smell linger or did the constant AC help with that?”

“I don’t understand,” he murmurs, looking between you and Oz.

“We know that your truck was parked by the Silver Lake Reservoir three nights ago. The same night a murdered man and a dead crocodile were dumped in the reservoir,” Oz explains.

“I parked by the reservoir because I didn’t have money for a hotel,” he explains, laughing. “I pawned a few things the next day and got a room at the Motel 6.”

“And now you have the money to reopen your ice cream truck,” you muse. “How much stuff did you pawn?”

“Do you even hear your questions?” he challenges, defensive. “I couldn’t move a crocodile by myself. I’m from Florida, I’ve seen them.” He looks at you and lips his licks before he says, “I’m strong in other ways.”

You grow uncomfortable with the unwelcome flirting, but Ramone has the answers you need, and if you stay on his good side, you might get a confession or something else you can use.

“I bet,” you answer quickly before changing the subject. “If you were parked out here, maybe you saw something that could help us.”

“Can’t see much from inside an ice cream truck. Care to come in and see?”

“No,” you answer firmly.

You get a text and smile as you ask, “So, you’re from Florida. Do you know Trey Peters?”

Ramone’s eyes shift quickly, and you know he recognizes the name.

“I can’t say I do. Most of my contacts in Florida are women.”

“I bet,” Oz mumbles, crossing his arms tightly over his chest.

“Give me something I can work with,” you request.

“Oh, I can give you more than that,” Ramone flirts, pulling himself to stand.

He takes a step toward you, and Oz immediately moves between you. “Sit down,” he demands. “One more comment like that and you'll be in the back of a different vehicle. Clear?”

Ramone clenches his jaw but sits, and Oz moves to your side.

“If something happened, just tell us,” you encourage him.

“The crocodile didn’t do anything,” Ramone mumbles.

“Trey killed the croc?” Oz clarifies.

“For no reason.”

“And that made you angry,” you deduce. “So you…”

“Just wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. He- he wasn’t supposed to die,” Ramone says quietly.

“Alright, stand up, arms to the side,” Oz instructs. “You’re under arrest.”

You call for backup, then notify Soto so she can contact the Florida police. After Ramone receives his Miranda rights and is placed in the back of a patrol car, you fall into Oz’s passenger seat and sigh.

“Thank you,” you say. “I wanted him to talk, but not like that.”

“It’s no problem,” Oz assures. He lays his hands on the wheel but doesn’t start driving. “I could tell you were uncomfortable. It made me angry, too.”

You turn to look at him, and Oz sighs.

“He overstepped,” he continues. “Which is enough on its own, of course, he was way out of line, and you’re my partner. But you’re also… You’re also someone that I care about, someone I have feelings for.”

You don’t speak, letting the confession hang between you as you consider Oz’s words. Consideration meaning you repeat them in your head with pure joy rushing through you.

“You’re someone I have feelings for too,” you confess softly. Oz looks at you, his smile growing when he sees the kindness in your gaze.

“Everyone else already knew,” Oz muses, taking your hand over the console.

“Except me, because I was too busy trying to make sure I didn’t lose you,” you add. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be,” he jokes. “You owe me so many donuts.”

“I think I can handle that.”

“Welcome back,” Soto greets when you return to the station. “Marshals are escorting Sears to LAX to be tried in Florida as we speak. They’ve added unlawful transportation of a dead body to the lengthy list of charges.”

“If we didn’t have the whole double jeopardy thing, I’d be writing up an affidavit for harassment,” Oz says under his breath.

“And what exactly does that mean, Detective?” Daphne questions far too brightly.

She looks pointedly at you, so you conceal your smile and say, “I think I have an idea.”

Morgan’s jaw drops, and she stands. “This belongs to your janitorial staff,” she tells Soto as she drops a key on Daphne’s desk.

“Morgan,” Karadec scolds. He looks at Oz and murmurs, “Finally.”

“Hey, you’re not the only one that had to wait,” Oz defends.

“But you didn’t have to see all the pining,” Daphne argues.

“Careful,” Oz warns.

Your friends don’t heed his warning, but their celebration and teasing seem to quiet when Oz smiles at you.

Later, your phone buzzes with a text reading: Still free this weekend?