Souheki Having Entire Convos In Their Minds

AITA for trying to bag the new kid at my school? PART 3.

Due to the continued lack of progress, I am back, seeking help from the vagrant scum of this subreddit.

Dear basement dwellers and unwashed perverts: If even I, Tom Riddle, cannot get a date, then there truly is no hope for the rest of you.

Time to freshen up your cleaning charms and “lock in”.

For those of you whining about how I ought to just ‘approach him like a normal person’- I am not a normal person. I am a God, baptized in the blood of my enemies. Stop giving me meaningless platitudes, and start helping me smell his hair!

His little sycophant has been following him around everywhere, which has only made approaching him harder. Orion calls himself Harry’s ‘best friend’, but everyone knows Harry only hangs out with him because he feels so sorry for him. (Generations of inbreeding made one ugly baby lol!)

Harry’s very charitable like that. All the more reason to indoctrinate him into my cult, but he’s being weirdly stubborn about the whole thing?

“I don’t wanna learn dark magic, Tom.”

“I don’t believe in blood surpremacy, Tom.”

“Stop trying to take me into your murder dungeon, Tom.”

Isn’t that ridiculous? Anyone with half a brain would love to be invited into my murder dungeon the esteemed chamber built by my lineage!

Harry is very lucky to have so many muscles, as no one expects much brilliance from him. Still, I know he’s cleverer than he lets on. Just the other day, he noticed me cursing Grace Bell for lingering too long outside of the Quidditch changing rooms.

I was just looking out for him. And clearly I was right to do so, since I caught her creeping around while I was waiting for him to emerge, shirtless and damp, from his post game shower. Imagine the kind of obsessed weirdos he’d have to deal with if I wasn’t there to curse them all!

Still, other people would have been totally fooled- but not Harry. He gets me.

Clearly, he’s paying a lot of attention to me, so how can I capitalize on that? I tried spilling a bit of my potion on him in class the other day, so I could remove my shirt sensually and dry the liquid off of him. Only, then he started shouting at me about how I “wasn’t going to get away with this like I did with Myrtle.”

See- another example of how well he knows me! (That’s a girl I killed near my murder dungeon lol)

As you can see, this is a dire situation. Hurry up and provide me with some useful information before he kisses the incest baby.

Harry is very handsome, and I cannot afford to waste time. I have enclosed a photograph of him so that you wastes of genetic material understand the stakes.

[Harry_Potter_Riddle.Jpeg]

suziehiggins: oh, i get it. that guy is adorable

| OP: Stay away from my man, Susan.

Orion.Black: @harryjamespotterr

| OP: You will rue this day, you incestuous hellspawn.

harryjamespotter: Tom, is this some kind of prank?

| OP: Who is Tom I’ve never heard that name in my life.

| harryjamespotter: you literally posted a picture of yourself in the last update…

| ed_hardy: It’s okay, he was just catfishing

| OP: NO I WAS NOT

goonermachine: did you doodle Tom + Harry = Soulmates all over his picture?

| OP: I know you have eyes so I don’t see why you’re asking me such a stupid question. Yes

*taps mic*

UEDA KEISUKE AS CHUUYA

Fr tho WDM MY CRUSH HAS POSTED?? 😭 How would you know Tumblr 🤨

interacting on tumblr makes me so nervous so if i like your posts it’s pretty much a proclamation of love

Gakuen au with Dazai finding out Chuuya is secretly a guardian angel so he risks his life for Chuuya to reveal his secret out of desperation like the little shit he is

🇨​​ 🇴 ​​🇳 ​​🇫​​ 🇪 ​​🇸​​ 🇸 ​​🇮 ​​🇴 ​​🇳​ ！

BSD MEN REACTING TO A CONFESSION.

↷ A/N ─ yes new divider again because im indecisive as heck

★ FT. ─ dazai , chuuya , ranpo , akutagawa , atsushi , fyodor

!! TAGS ─ mentions of suicide, insecurities, overall fluff

"i love you."

ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ.

promptly replies with, "i love you too."

he'll lean into you with an amused smile because he lowkey thinks you're joking

when he realizes you're serious about it he'll immediately stop the stupid grin

and look at you with this sincere look you've never seen on his face before

he'll hold your hand and everything while repeating "i love you too," for a second time, only this time he's serious about it too

definitely asks for double suicide later

"You know it's my motto to unalive myself with a beautiful woman. How lucky of you to have been bestowed upon this honour."

"Mhm."

"I'll say yes if you join me in a double suicide," he asks with puppy eyes.

"Dazai, you already said yes."

"I'll say it again!"

​ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ.

he stops abruptly and half chokes on his expensive ass wine

poor boy is really confused 😭 because "where did that come from??"

he tries to play it cool but he's literally SCREAMING inside

we all know he's been betrayed a lot of times in the past so he feels hesitant about it

will decide to give it a shot tho

100% calls dazai to brag about it

"You may be taller or whatever (as if that matters in the first place) but were you the one able to steal her heart? Eh? I think not!"

You chuckle hearing him update his rival of his new relationship status.

"And anyway," he raises a glass of wine for toast. "I'd like to thank my good looks, good looks and did I mention my good looks (?) for making tonight the happiest night ever."

ʀᴀɴᴘᴏ.

"i know."

he has always observed every single thing about you - how you behave around others vs how you behave around him, the little times you look at him like you want his attention etc etc

he's known about this since like soooo long

he defo also knew when where and how you were gonna confess

went to yosano for tips to react to it and bought you chocolates and stuff. he thinks it'll make you happy :D

eats all of that himself even tho he originally bought it for you but you let it slide because he's a cutie patootie

"You could at least have been a bit subtle about it," he says, munching on his chips. "I mean, anyone who saw you would've been able to guess. I didn't even need my ability for this!"

He lifts his chin up thoughtfully, fingers ripping open another packet of snacks. "You should be grateful I'm not a snitch. Eh, well," he shrugs, "You're now dating the greatest detective in the world! Congratulations!"

ᴀᴋᴜᴛᴀɢᴀᴡᴀ.

"eh???"

like chuuya, he's pretty confused too

"are you sure?"

tries to keep a straight face and hide his fluster

he'll narrow his eyes at you as if he's trying to read your emotions. he doesn't wanna get hurt if he gets too attached to you and you two end up breaking up

also how tf is he supposed to believe that someone like YOU like someone like HIM?

reassure him that he's perfect please :( poor baby deserves the world

"I am a lot of work. I don't think you can keep up with all of that," he says shortly.

"I'll try my best."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to!"

He stares at you for a few moments, looking like he's about to cry.

"Oh, alright then," he waves a hand around. "But don't you ever leave me."

ᴀᴛꜱᴜꜱʜɪ.

screams

"SAY IT AGAIN PLEASE!"

jumps around everywhere in happiness

you dont even get a verbal answer the man's just dancing around

either that or he just faints

he's, like akutagawa, insecure about himself. but he's much more open to showing his emotions to you.

you end up cuddling the whole night or he calls off work to be with you for the rest of the day <3

"I..." he repeats the same word for the fifth time in a row.

"Yes?"

"Don't mind me, I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that I get to date you."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, no!" he panics, wringing both hands all over himself hastily. "I love you! Really!"

ꜰʏᴏᴅᴏʀ.

no reaction. im sorry

spares a small glance at you but otherwise doesn't get distracted from his work

you think he's gone deaf from the way he just ignored you cuz what????

will spend like 15 minutes that way before extending an arm to you and you lowkey DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO??? HELP??

he'll stare at you for a few seconds before pulling you onto his lap and continuing with his work

and that's his way of saying yes

He shuts the computers around him down and taps your outer thigh twice. You immediately stand up and help him up. He stares at you for a few seconds, contemplating something.

"You know, I never thought I'd enable others to call me a lovesick fool."

"Does that mean you are a lovesick fool?"

"A little, maybe," he turns around and walks out of the door while you follow him with a soft smile on your face.

Fanfic writers say “bad writing” and drops the most toe curling mouth watering shit ever

. . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 THIGH FUCKING ; a osamu dazai fic. ❞

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . accidently deleted my previous account oops. i really want to tag the ones who had reposted and commented on this previously but i remember none, hope you guys find it again tho >~<.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw ; jealous!dazai, fem!reader, nsfw, thigh fucking, thigh pinching, uses of terms like "dumb bitch, slut" etc, slight degradation, and those are all i can remember tbh, uni au.

the winds blew by harshly and violently, as if in a hurry to reach their destination. and this hurry of the wind obstructed the path of others as they raced with the clouds to whatever their destination is. lectures had been canceled and everyone was advised to stay in the safety of their dorm walls even though the dorm buildings were right next to the college building.

   and this all led you to sigh, what were you doing here when most of the students were in the comforts of their rooms?

   you shake your head as the cold breeze hits you, making your skirt sway. you quickly make your way into your classroom with the intent of finding shelter there till the weather calms a bit ; the sight of the very few students who are stuck like you are is nothing more than little flashes due to how fast you are walking and you don't stop, till the familiar door of your classroom is just a few steps distance away from you.

   your steps are long and quick as you extend your hand, wrapping it around the round doorknob and twisting it open; you enter the classroom and close the door behind in hurry, shivering a bit.

   "well don't you look absolutely breathtaking." mocks a voice as soon as you turn around to face the class and when you tilt your head up to look at its owner who you recognize oh so well, you see dazai sitting on one of the last benches of the row farthest from the door, smirking.

   "what did you want from me?" you mutter in confusion, taking quick steps towards him as you don't waste time to reach the point ; surely if dazai wanted to meet you in the classroom after the end of the day even after knowing about the dangerous turn the weather took, it must be important.

  "oh come on, why are you in such a rush? let's have a conversation, you and me." dazai proposed though the omnious smile on his face screamed at you to refuse the proposition, turn on your heels and run towards the dorm quarters but it's the way the words rolled off his tongue, all sweetly and seductively that once again, made you bend your conscience and rationality for him.

   you nodded, almost sitting on the chair opposite of him when dazai tsked and shook his head.

   "not there," dazai's voice rang in your ears as he patted the table behind which he sat,"here."

   you nodded, standing infront of him for only a fraction of a second before you sat on the edge of his table, pulling your skirt down with one hand and curiously staring at the boy infront of you whose demeanor changed, the smile disappeared from his face as his eyes turned shaper.

dazai stands up with a sharp sigh leaving his lips and immediately planted his hands on either sides of you on the table, leaning closer to your face as he glares,

   "have i been too soft on you that you forgot your place?" he didn't ask you but told. he raised one of his hands to place them on your thigh, caressing the skin before he pinched it making you gasp.

   "unless i tell you, you aren't going to open that preety mouth of your's or i swear you won't be able to open your mouth for the next few days with the way i'll fuck it. we don't want that, do we?" he lowly muttered next to your ear, hand going a bit harshly towards your inner thigh which he again began to caress before pinching a very small amount of skin between his index finger and thumb and oh, the way it felt, the pain was a temporary guest as dazai immediately caressed the pinched portion with him thumb.

   you could feel the flutter in your pussy and the excitement wrapping around your heart which didn't go unnoticed by dazai, nothing ever does to be honest.

   "don't tell me you are enjoying being treated like a slut," dazai smirked, his hand traveling towards the top of your thigh which he squeezed as he looked down at your thighs, the way the skirt was almost teasing him by threatening to ride up to show more of your skin and the way only the plush portion of your thigh was revealed as the rest was covered by knee high socks, god, he felt the arousal building up.

  dazai took a step back and plopped down on the chair he previous occupied, pushing your legs a bit to have them directly against him as he poked his inner cheek with his tongue.

   "call that fucking guy who can't understand that what i claim as mine is only for me to enjoy" dazai said, his jaw tensed and it finally clicked and oh, the slick pool it left in your panties made you suck in a shaky breath.

   you were partnered up with a guy for a project and it just so happens that the guy was a bit touchy -- nothing inappropriate but just the sight of you laughing with him without caring or acknowledging dazai who sat behind you, rubbed dazai off in the wrong way. so to sum it up shortly, dazai is jealous.

   oh so jealous over something so small but you suppose you would've had the same reaction if your boyfriend was talking to someone else without as much as glancing at you.

   "i am sor--"

   a spank to your thighs cuts you off as you gasp, cowering under the glare dazai offered you.

   "did i ask you to speak? dumb bitch. can't even follow simple instructions.  perhaps i need to show you what happens to girls who can't follow instructions. gonna fuck you so dumb, you won't be able to tell left from right." dazai muttered and stood up, as he began to unbuckle his belt, unzip and unbutton his pants, he once again reminded you to call your project partner by tilting his head in the direction of your phone, which was tightly clutched by your two hands.

   you know to never argue with dazai when he is angry and so you obey, knowing that right now, all logic and reasons will go from above his head.

   so you shakily unlock your phone and scroll through the contacts, finding the name of your project partner while dazai takes his length out of his boxers, which, along with his pants hangs on his hips .

   dazai watches as you put the phone next to your ear, waiting for your project partner to pick up.

   "you look so adorable when you are my good girl then why do you act like this? hmm?" dazai once again places his hand on your thigh while he stokes his cock with the other one, his thumb caressed your skin as it teases you by going near your inner thigh but then quickly shifts to its original position.

   "why do you insist on getting on my fucking nerves?" dazai raised his eyebrows, the pumping motion of his hands increasing its pace as his anger takes over his brain.

   "dazai, let's be civil-"

   a smack on your thigh.

   then a caress followed by dazai trailing his nails on top of your thigh.

   "who gave you the permission to talk?" he muttered, having a smug smirk on his face as he knows you would've normally scoffed but you can't now, your neediness is making you bend upon his will.

   you can feel it, the sticky feeling in your panties and dazai could see it too through the short breaths leaving and entering your body.

   he lets his finger trail down towards your inner thigh, nail gently tracing the skin up towards your panties while his other hand never stopped its motion until his cock was hard enough, precum dripping from the tip made you feel almost dizzy.

   your rationality was overthrown by desire which only wanted one thing ; dazai's dick inside you. a few heavy pants leave your lips and you almost parted your legs, had it not been for your project partner picking up the phone at the exact moment.

   "hello? did you need something?" your project partner's confused voice could be heard through the phone and you know dazai heard it or he wouldn't have smirked the way he did.

   "talk to him" dazai mouthed, parting your thighs with his hands as he stepped closer to you ; spitting on his dick and rubbing it a bit to have moisture before he made you close the plush part of your thighs with his dick in between, he looked up to see you parting your lips and tilted his head in the direction of your phone which made you realise you haven't replied to your project partner.

   "n-no, i just wanted to talk to you."

   dazai snickers upon hearing you stutter, slowly thrusting in and out of your thighs; you softly gasp as the tip of his dick just lightly grazes your panties before he almost pulls himself out, only to slam himself in against. your project partner said something but you are too distracted by the way dazai has his eyes closed as he let's out small and deep breaths to care to hear what your project partner has to say.

   "talk, doll." dazai commands lowly and you flinch, gulping heavily.

   "hey-hey, sorry, what did you say again?" your voice came out nearly as a whimper; dazai pushed your thighs together even more as he sighed in content, dick thrusting in and out while his thumbs caressed your skin.

   you plant your free hand on the desk behind you as you arch your back, trying to focus on anything but the sensation of dazai's dick against your inner thighs though your attempt is futile, you close your eyes and tilt your head back, frustrated because you know dazai won't lean near you and plant kisses on your neck, he won't gently graze your throat with his teeth and neither will he nibble on the junction between your shoulder and neck --because this is how dazai punishes.

   he drives you almost insane for his touch, making you desperate and pathetic just to feel him trace your arm with a single finger.

   "do you want to come to my house for the project?"

   "nO!" you yelped as dazai squeezed your thighs tightly and pinched them, he glares at you as a warning and you end up clearing your throat, "i mean no, i can't come. sorry. i have to babysit this whole week."

   your pathetic attempt to make an excuse has dazai nearly snickering but he stops himself from doing so ; rather, his thrusts become more quick as he takes in the sight of you, your breasts bounce slightly due to him and you dig your teeth on your bottom lip, trying not to whine for his touch.

   "i didn't know you babysat."  dazai muttered in your ear to tease you, making sure to speak closely to the phone so your project partner could pick up on his hushed voice too.

   "umm, are you with someone? i can hear another voice with you." your project partner's voice forced you to pay attention to him, you were about to deny his assumption but dazai wasn't having any of it, the man refused to.

   so one of his hands came up to caress the space below your breasts, you almost shuddered at the much needed contact of his hands with your body, before dazai groped one of your breasts and harshly began to squeeze it.

   you weren't sure how you were going to cover up the breathless gasp that escaped the cage of your lips but you didn't care, too high up in the pleasurable sensation which came with every squeeze.

   dazai grunts, now moving your thighs along with his thrusts to induce even more friction on his dick and when he twitches before cumming, he tightly squeezes your thighs around his dick.

   you whimper lightly as you feel his fluids on your thigh and inside them, the sticky fluid makes you shiver and dazai too for he hadn't seen a more erotic sight then this, seeing you pant as you sit all prettily with his cum covering your thighs, god, if he wasn't trying to punish you, he would've made you scream his name.

   and you didn't bother answering your project partner who called your name, biting your lip as you watched dazai cleaning himself with a tissue before wearing his pants again.

he leans down to place a kiss at the corner of your lips, staying still as he whispers against your skin, "put the phone on speaker and let that  bastard hear how good I make you feel with just my thigh. Ride my thigh, my love."

━━━━━━━ 💋 end.

like mentor like mentee

new stickers for doujima! i'll be at g44

Apparently much-needed reminder that reposting artists' art (by saving the images or screenshotting them) on other platforms without the artists' expressed permission and without credit is theft and an insult to their passion and craft. You are profiting (in views, in attention, in feedback) from someone else's work and ideas, who do not get that feedback for sharing their creation.

If you are an art reposter, I have no respect for you.

I have a headcannon that Kunikida has a history of getting into trouble with law enforcement, a lot.

The whole "My ideals do not vibe with the law but fuck that I'm doing it anyway. Just try and stop me."

So I'm thinking about the Agency freaking out over Kunikida getting arrested in the Cannabalism arc.

Everyone's forsaking out cept Yosano and Ranpo. Because they've busted Kunikida out of jail too many times to count.

Yosano: hears Atsushi's explanation Oh is that all?

Atsushi: How are you guys so calm?!

Yosano: This used to be our typical Tuseday. All we need is Katai and it'll be the old days all over again.

Atsushi:... Huh...

Yosano: You ready Ranpo?

Ranpo: dusts off a briefcase It's time for me to shed my detective hat. And resume my position as the world's best lawyer, Atsushi you shall be my assistant.

Atsushi: You know what sure, why not. Dazai's gonna be so mad he missed this.

Yosano: snorts That he will, should we get Katai to film it?

Ranpo: grins Naturally, this is my grand return of course.

Yosano: amused Of course, come on let's go get him out before Kunikida starts another prison brawl.

Atsushi: I want to say that'd suprise me, but no I can see it happening.