Nicoledavisss - Wistful Thinking

Yes, everyday..

Fuck man I’m actually losing my mind and people only say they’ve noticed after I post about it. I literally can’t handle anything anymore. I can’t handle life. I either feel nothing or I feel it to the slightest degree possible, and that’s frightening. I can’t feel anymore. I can’t think anymore, when I do I just end up hating myself. I can’t focus anymore. I don’t know what the fuck to do anymore.

I don't

wanna lose my bestfriend. I feel like we're drifting apart and I don't like it at all. Please don't leave me alone like this. I want it all to go back to how it was before. When we talked on the phone at night and we talked for hours about nothing. What I would give for all of that back. I hate this feeling so much. I wish I could could have it all back.

May 31, 2014

I'm sitting here next to you in bed and you're sleeping. You're so adorable when you're asleep. You look so peaceful and happy. I wish you'd look that way all the time. I hate seeing you so upset now. I wish I could help you, I really do. But it seems like I can't. You mean everything to me, I really hope you know that. Even though you can't read this, maybe one day you can. And you'll see how I feel.

I don’t feel strong anymore I feel like falling to my knees. Things aren’t the way they were before, They’re not the way they’re supposed to be.

Atarah L. Poling (via observando)

Late night thoughts 4/20

I’m laying in bed, and I’m thinking of you. For some reason tonight, your face is burned into my mind and all the memories we shared are playing over and over. I miss you, like crazy and I can’t shake this feeling of loneliness. I’m so alone without you. I may seem happy, but the smile I paste on my lips isn’t real. It’s as fake as a hookers tits. I know, I’m thousands of miles away from you, but even distance can’t make my heart forget you. The distance can’t take the picture of your smile out of my mind, nor can it dislodge your voice from my ears. All I can hear is you calling me baby, and telling me that you love me. Why must you do this to me? Why must your face be burned into my mind? I’m not happy that you’re moving to NC… I moved away from NY to get away from you, to try and pick up all the little pieces you shattered my heart into. And you’re making it hard, even not talking to you, it doesn’t make me love you any less. I’ll love you until the day that I die. I hope that someday soon I can finally paste a real smile on my face and be genuinely happy. But until that day, I guess I’ll just be alone and depressed. I love you to the moon and back, darling. Goodnight…