No Thoughts, Just... Thinking About The Way Ekko Looks At Powder...

i fear im so deep into escapism i've forgotten how to live my own life. it all just feels lacklustre in comparison.

definitely don't read it and protect your peace. i absolutely loved choices and it makes sense that in a canon compliant world he somehow has to be able to move on from regulus. but ohmygod. the love they had was so magical and beautiful and seamless and then it crashed and then boom hes with lily. AND ITS ALL WRITTEN SO WELL THAT LIKE. THE WRITING WAS ON THE WALL BUT U ARE STILL FLABBERGASTED. I was clawing at my chest praying for death to just take me honestly.

One of my favourite things about Choices is how thoroughly interwoven jily and jegulus are. they're always present like a lingering shadow but I wish we had seen more of the time inbetween the end of jegulus and the start of Jily. The guilt James must have felt at moving on, despite everything that went down between him and Regulus. the fact that it was with LILY, who regulus always felt insecure about. And when I think about it too much my heart aches.

Because it was truly so insane. Like I think it hit him so hard. because he loved regulus, truly loved him. Regulus had him, unconditionally, with no strings or games, all of him. and all james wanted was for him to love him back more than he hated himself. more than he was scared. to try another path. to not give up. and he had SO much hope for them, that they would work. And in those moments with Regulus he just felt so full and so happy and then Regulus was gone and left this humongous hole in his life and the only person that can fill it is the very person Regulus was always scared was really meant for james.

i genuinely cant think about crimson rivers without feeling completely sick to my stomach and tearing up its like reflex it truly changed my life.

i just sobbed and hyperventilated over regulus blacks death in choices !!

he wanted so badly to make things right, to TRY, to do the right fucking thing and he was so close. so close yet so far. it physically hurts

I think the saddest thing about choices is regulus’ death but mostly the part when he tried. He tried to appareate, he tried to sommon broom, he tried to get out, he really fucking tried and that is maybe what is james talking about when he’s talking to lily. I think I see myself in regulus, trying so hard yet failing

i'll be fine and then i'll remember that regulus was 14 when choices started. FOURTEEN. and he'd already been through so much, and his life was on a ticking clock because he dies 4 years after the start of the story. he was literally a child it makes me feel so sick.

you just introduced me to something i never knew i needed but i'm going to die begging for ohmygod

Clearly I got a thing for tragic siblings fighting on the opposite sides of war. Sirius and Regulus? Vi and Jinx? This is seriously getting out of hand. Please authors write an Arcane au for Sirius and Reg I need it! Literally on my hands and knees begging someone to write this Becuase I unfortunately can't put my thoughts into words well enough.

regulus's lifeforce using his final moments to try and hash things out with his brother breaks my heart so much. he really loved him the best way he could, it was always sirius for him. the first person he loved, and first person he lost and i stand by the fact that it was his most defining relationship. like yes, his relationship with james was so important and impacted him in so many ways but sirius shaped him yk? his final moments may have been spent thinking of james but it was sirius that his soul went to first. he always loved him even when he wasn't strong enough. one of my favourite moments is after the prank he took the time to try and get james to understand (?) sirius and the way he thinks even when he gets nothing out of it. the fact that they never fixed things will always be the greatest tragedy. because above all else that would've been redemption for him, to him.

the epilogue of choices paralleling the end of the song of achilles is so magical to me. two souls finding their way back together in the next life because this one wasn't ready for them. all the ways patrochilles parallels jegulus in choices is my favourite in general but the ending SPECIFICALLY. Knowing they're together out there is so important to me

they're so precious to me

Study session

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