I'll Be Fine And Then I'll Remember That Regulus Was 14 When Choices Started. FOURTEEN. And He'd Already

worst part of reading choices is the constant what if's i keep asking myself. what if dumbledore had got them out of there? what if regulus had fallen in love with james sooner? what if sirius had taken him with him that day? what if he had just gone with james after the ministry attack? what if he had just stayed at hogwarts? what if he had brought cerci to the cave? what if what if what if.

i think one of the most devastating parts of choices for me was all the things that were left unsaid between all of them. all the words they chose to swallow and never say. james and sirius never really processed or talked about how he was in love with regulus, what he saw in him, never learned the full truth of how much it hurt sirius. even close to the end of the story, when reg visits sirius' dreams it's clear he's not over it. that they just brushed it away and then reg dies and you can tell that he really doesn't have a clue just how much this destroys james.

the same for sirius and reg. they never hash it out, they never fully understand the depths of which they care about each other because they never let themselves really talk about it. they both echo this sentiment, saying they thought they'd have more time. more time to say all thats unsaid, that sirius DID write those letters, regulus DID love sirius, that they both felt abandoned by each other but loved each other so much. it's just so tragic to me.

funniest part of act 3 is the entire montage where we see how fucking beautiful life without jayce and hextech are, how much happier and better everyone is for it. then cutting to jayce STRUGGLING for his life getting a karmic beatdown like yes. hell yeah.

"leave the heroics to people who have less to offer the world."

Even in his final moments Regulus Black never fully grasped how fucking important he was, never understood his own worth. He never got the chance to. Because Regulus actually DID have a lot to offer the world. He was a potions prodigy. Outsmarted the 7th year advanced students when he was just a kid, altered the laws of potions magic, making a gaseous potion on the first try. He was an amazing seeker, he was getting scouted before he even left school. Even beyond that, he had so much love to give, quiet hesitant love, but LOVE. He could've been so fucking great if he was released out in the world. He had so much to offer.

when the fanfiction is so fucking devastating it has you clawing at your chest trying to remind yourself it's just fiction. but i still feel sick and i cant stop crying and everything hurts and aches because it hurt hit too close to home

regulus's lifeforce using his final moments to try and hash things out with his brother breaks my heart so much. he really loved him the best way he could, it was always sirius for him. the first person he loved, and first person he lost and i stand by the fact that it was his most defining relationship. like yes, his relationship with james was so important and impacted him in so many ways but sirius shaped him yk? his final moments may have been spent thinking of james but it was sirius that his soul went to first. he always loved him even when he wasn't strong enough. one of my favourite moments is after the prank he took the time to try and get james to understand (?) sirius and the way he thinks even when he gets nothing out of it. the fact that they never fixed things will always be the greatest tragedy. because above all else that would've been redemption for him, to him.

fuck that damn bridge he lost everything there 😭😭😭 i cant even imagine how he felt finding jinx in the same spot he found her mother ohmygod

Silco | Death on the bridge

the epilogue of choices paralleling the end of the song of achilles is so magical to me. two souls finding their way back together in the next life because this one wasn't ready for them. all the ways patrochilles parallels jegulus in choices is my favourite in general but the ending SPECIFICALLY. Knowing they're together out there is so important to me

❛ finally the skin reflects the madness within. ❜

❛ you'd know all about the madness within, wouldn't you, remus? ❜

– as a way of saying thank you for showing interest in my fic (which i'm truly am trying to grind out) and just to generally share with the wolfstar community, here's a wolfstar edit i made

(might be laggy because everything makes the quality terrible, sorry :( )

i genuinely cant think about crimson rivers without feeling completely sick to my stomach and tearing up its like reflex it truly changed my life.