Friendly Reminder That Intersex Trans People Exist And They Arent Your Fucking Business And Telling Us

I want to make some points clear to debunk the whole “trans men are just future detransitioned women” idea that’s been floating around:

The detransition rates of people who identify as trans men/masc and trans women/fem(me) are going to be pretty much the same, but TERF propaganda makes examples out of people who have detransitioned from male to female in order to support the claim that the trans community are “infecting” young girls. Their obsession with women “mutilating” their bodies causes them to pounce on anyone who detransitions from male/masc to female and use them as symbols of the “trans cult.” TERFs deliberately inflate the number of detransitioners, especially amongst trans men/mascs, in order to support their ideology. Do not fall for it.

The actual rate of detransitioning as a whole is already incredibly small, and an even smaller minority of that, go on to detransition “back” to a cis identity. In reality, the majority of detransitioners tend to detransition into a different gender identity that feels more comfortable to them, rather than their birth identity, and may still identify as trans— just not in the way they initially thought. Other reasons for detransitioning may include safety reasons or a lack of access to gender affirming care. By assuming that all detransitioners are people who have “returned” to identifying as cis, you are once again falling for TERF propaganda. TERFs do not care about detransitioners who still identify as trans or non-binary or some other form of gender divergent, nor do they care about people who detransition simply because they are not able to transition in the first place. You should care. Not all detransitioners identify as cis, and the community would do well to remember that.

TERFs are a cult, and cults groom their members. A lot of people struggling with their gender identity may fall into TERF spaces because they will initially be treated with sympathy and understanding, when in reality, their ultimate goal is to detransition someone. They will groom vulnerable people with rhetorics such as “the trans community will try to persuade you to transition and make you think that you need to escape your womanhood” or “we can help you to accept yourself for who you really are as a woman, because society has made you hate yourself for your gender non-conformity and tomboyish nature” and other such bullshit that only serves to break someone down into believing that their identity issues come from a trans-obsessed, woman-hating society. When you see prominent detransitioners who pedal TERF propaganda, it is very likely that they have been forced into pushing down their real issues in favour of finding acceptance in a group that claims to care about them. If we can find sympathy for people who have been forced into conversion therapy, or forced to hide their sexualities/gender identities because of the religious fanaticism around them, then you need to find sympathy for people who have been groomed by a cult into hating themselves. No, that does not mean excusing them for hurting the trans community by becoming handmaidens for TERFs, but understanding that they have also been hurt— and are being hurt— by TERFs may help us to acknowledge that a lot of these people needed support systems that they weren’t able to find quickly enough.

A lot of the most well-known detransitioners may still struggle with their gender identity, and are simply repressing it because they’ve been groomed too far into a cult that lied to them, and leaving that cult without a support system behind them is a terrifying thought. However, it needs to be acknowledged that all of this discourse amongst the trans community, particularly a growing hatred for trans men/mascs or non-binary people, is exactly why TERFs are able to groom them in the first place. In fact, the idea that “trans women and trans men are diametrically opposed to each other” is just TERF propaganda to encourage trans men to feel like they’re not accepted in the trans community and therefore need to find solace in TERF spaces, who will use their shared experiences of “girlhood” to prey on the fact that trans men have been made to hate themselves. Seeing other trans people spread around this idea is exactly what TERFs want. They want trans men/mascs and non-binary people who were born as women to turn away from the trans community so they can literally detransition them back into women. Don’t do their fucking job for them.

A lot of detransitioners are— surprise surprise— not assholes. The only ones we’re seeing are the ones that prominent TERFs are uplifting, when the ones who slide under the radar and are free to explore their gender identity how they want tend to not feel the need to throw the trans community under the bus. I’ve talked to many detransitioners before who weren’t groomed by the TERF cult and a lot of them speak very highly of the trans community because they were able to find space to learn about themselves, and regardless of what they eventually identified as, there was a mutual understanding that freedom to gender affirming care is beneficial for everybody. By using TERF detransitioners as examples of all detransitioners, you’re just excluding some of the most vocal supporters of gender affirming care that I’ve ever come across. Support them back!! The best way to fight against TERFs weaponising detransitioners is by supporting detransitioners, recognising their struggles, and uplifting the voices of those who do not spread TERF propaganda.

There is nuance to be had here, because insinuating that the current trans community is actively judgmental of detransitioners is, in itself, TERF propaganda, but it’s crucial that you don’t fall for it or let TERFs convince you that detransitioners are the enemy. Because I have heard stories from detransitioners who’ve experienced genuine hostility from queer spaces they’ve been in, so it’s always important to check your biases and make sure you’re not falling into any traps.

TL;DR: trans men are not future detransitioned women. The tiny, miniscule percentage of TERF detransitioners who identify as cisgender that you see are being propped up by other TERFs in order to spread propaganda, despite the fact that TERFs do not actually care about them or their struggles, and they have most likely been groomed into detransitioning in the first place (or at least, they have been groomed into an unhealthy and harmful mindset that will inevitably hurt them in the long run). Anyone who says that trans men are destined to detransition, or that detransitioners are the enemy, or that all detransitioners have cis privilege and should be shunned from the community are all falling into TERF ideology and should not be listened to.

i blocked like 5 popular transandrophobes and the death and rape threats immediately stopped. what a weird coincidence

god i love being an intersex trans woman. i love that being a woman doesn't invalidate that i'm also a man. i can be a wo/man. im glad i can be a butch woman. im glad i can be a genderqueer woman. i'm so glad to be able to express myself as a woman with a beard and deep voice. im glad i can just be a woman however i want to. women don't have to conform to any norm. women are allowed to be diverse. women are allowed to break gender expectations. women are allowed to fuck with gender. god i love womanhood. i was taught to hate it but i've learned to love it. i love being a woman

(X) (X) (X)

i like it when trans men and transmascs exist

i think there should be more trans men and transmascs

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

You all realize Feminists have been critiquing "women only spaces" for decades right?

I think often about Audre Lorde's critique of a women only event that welcomed her wife and daughter, but not her son. Because she questioned it - the function and purpose of barring even the sons of Feminist women from Feminist events. Especially the barring of her young Black son, who would otherwise be left alone in the city where he would be more prone to the very violence those same Feminist women claimed to want to change.

Because what functional, forward thinking Feminist purpose does it actually serve to do that? What message does that send to women with sons, husbands, brothers, lovers, friends, who want to involve the men and boys in their lives in their activism? Who want to build a functionally better world for us all outside of the oppressive grasp of Patriarchy? Especially for the marginalized men who often sit at their own intersection violent Patriarchal oppression, that still happens to be Patriarchal oppression despite it not being distinctly misogyny?

What purpose does it truly serve to sequester yourself away into a pocket of the world, detached from those you share it with? What bright and shining future does that really promise you?

holy shit y’all should watch this one, what an admirable person