A Lot Of Monogamous People Are Weirdly Obsessed With Treating Polyamory As Uniquely Loveless And Insincere,

Trans people are not inherently intersex.

Medical transition does not turn a perisex person intersex.

Your brain is not a sex trait, you do not have an "intersex brain", you are not "neurologically intersex" because you experience gender dysphoria.

If you believe any of this you are being intersexist.

Do you have an observable (including through testing or otherwise) genetic/natal variation in the way your sex traits developed? If the answer is NO, you are NOT INTERSEX. You are perisex.

Perisex refers to anyone who is not intersex, elaborated, does not have a natal variation in their sex traits. This term does not invalidate your transition. It refers to a bodily starting point and it's only purpose is to differentiate you from those with a different bodily starting point. If you were born in Detroit you can't say you were born in Baltimore because you live in Baltimore now. That's not how this works.

Why is this important? Because the only other terms for our bodily differences are the pathologizing disorders & syndromes we are diagnosed with. I am not a person with a DSD, I am intersex goddammit. If that word is watered down, then I'll be forced to refer to myself as disordered if I want to talk about how my body and my issues are different from yours, exactly like what cisnormative society wants me to do. Congratulations for helping reify intersexist pathologization that gets us killed! How #inclusionist of you!

You can be sex variant as a perisex person through transition, but you cannot "become intersex", please stop saying fucking this. There are more of you than there are us. You are speaking over us. We are already invisible and you are NOT helping.

I want to address a pitfall I see some of the transmasc advocates fall into when attempting to defend transandrophobia.

Before I get into it, you're absolutely within your right to speak out about oppression and marginalization you face and define language to articulate how these things affect you, I am not criticizing these things when I speak on this.

But when I see the focus on transfems and trans women engaging in transandrophobic behavior, it sounds like the same gender essentialist arguments used against us. Even if you're rightfully criticizing someone for having extremely bigoted views, I don't think making it about their gender identity is helpful. Anyone can be harmful and pick up harmful mindsets. It just seems to make this cyclical argument of "no YOU'RE demonizing MY gender" when nobody's behavior should be reduced to what gender they identify as.

I know transandrophobes make it difficult for us to even communicate transandrophobic behavior by denying that it even exists, but we need to keep using it to solidify its place in vernacular and keep developing on it, making sure to stay away from gender essentialist and bio essentialist mindsets. Gender/bio essentialism is baked into our society, it's yet another internalized bias we need to unlearn. When we hold people accountable for their actions and harmful ideas they're spreading, we can't present that behavior as a result of their identity. It causes the same problems that we're trying to fight against and only weakens our platform.

I think there's discussion to be had when people use their identity as a shield from criticism, which should definitely be called out, but I can't see another justified reason to focus on someone's gender identity in relation to their bigotry.

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i cannot believe that in 2025

there are people on bluesky who proudly put on their profiles being "baeddel" like, that shit didn't work here in the 2010s tumblr (where it originated), so why the fuck are you trying to make it come back, lmao

actually i wouldn't be surprised if this-certain-group of trans ppl on bluesky are actually all baeddels but just not saying it out loud.

seeing them all still talking about "cissexual" privilege when refering to other TRANS ppl, the classic "you are trans but NOT REALLY trans like me", im just gonna say, be careful with this kind of thinking.

for context:

Medium

Let’s Talk About Bæddels

A comperehensive retrospective on Tumblr’s movement to make gender essentialism “trans-friendly”.

no, being "baeddel" is not good AT ALL. please, don't let anyone tell you otherwise bc, holy fuck, just read the whole thing and be wary. it's pretty much TERF rethoric, only trans version (also known as TIRF), lmao

i found out about this whole "baeddel" around the end of last year, and it was like "woah what the fuck??????" i had no idea this kind of shit happened. please, read it in full 😩😩

(edit: an updated version of this article is also here on tumblr!!)

nothorses.tumblr.com

Let's Talk About Baeddels.

An (updated) retrospective on Tumblr's movement to make gender essentialism trans-friendly. This post contains excepts from a longer article

since someone wanted to be a clown and make a "transmisogyny" bingo board, i made my own transandrophobia bingo board

“trans-inclusive radfem” yeah, cool. you think cis AND trans men are evil. great. such an improvement to the belief

I wonder if the transfems that hate on trans men and transmascs realize that demonizing masculinity actually harms their masculine transfem sisters, as well as closeted/pre-E transfems as well.

So much queer discourse is just "i like pancakes" "so you hate waffles?" Type shit

"I believe mspec lesbians are valid" "so you think lesbians just need good dick?"

"I believe trans men can identify as lesbians if they want" "so you think trans men are women?"

"I believe transandrophobia exists" "so you think transfems oppress transmascs?"

No bitch that's a whole new sentence wtf are you talking about

re: that other post. i HATE HATE HATE the modern trans discourse thats just "boys versus girls but Progressive this time I Promise ^_^" like you have GOT to be kidding me. its so so so odd to me that people can Be transgender and still come to the conclusion that Bioessentialism is Good actually, cis people are just doing it wrong. come the fuck on. does anyone remember when it was considered STUPID in the trans community to be policing peoppe based on agab. remember when it was embarrassing to Ask what gender someone was before transitioning. im walking in circles i feel ill Hello

i want people to get it into their heads that you can still be transphobic if you're a trans person. literally the most vile transphobia i've ever been faced with has been at the hands of other trans people. i have had trans women in my life tell me that i'm not a man because i don't have a penis. being trans does not absolve you from all potential transphobic beliefs you held before you realized you were trans. we all have to unlearn transphobia. you can get off your high horse and acknowledge that you have the capability to be transphobic towards other trans people.