On The Topic Of Trans Men Experiencing Erasure And Other Problems That Are Not Talked About, We Should

Every day I see countless transmascs ashamed of their masculinity, feeling like they "sided with the enemy", so much so that when I was in car with my friend and he started telling me about how his absentee father shaped the view of his own masculinity that I interrupted him to say that he doesn't have to be ashamed

To which he stopped me going on a rant to tell me that no, in fact, he feels like he is already such a better man than him, because he knows he would never do such a thing

And that really really stuck with me

Trans men, transmascs, and honestly, anyone else who participates in queer masculinity, make the world a better place

As a very femme trans woman, seeing queer people happy in their masculinity, finding joy in it, relief, makes my heart full

It is beautiful what you all do by simply existing

And please, keep going ❤️

It’s funny to me that people use “TMRA” as a negative descriptor. Like I get it, they're comparing an oppressed group of people to MRAs, cause they're fucking clowns.

But it goes to show they think any sort of advocacy that centers trans men is a bad thing. They refuse to see them as trans, just men. Pretending that the "man" part overrides the "trans" part of the identity makes them feel better about their own bullying. And if they paint anyone who defends them as a "men's rights activist", they can dismiss their concerns without ever addressing their arguments.

I advocate for the rights of TRANS men alongside the rights of trans women and nonbinary people! Because, as it turns out, ALL trans people are oppressed, and trans men aren’t the exception! I place just as much importance on their struggles as I do on my own.

What kind of person would think that’s a bad thing?

Oh, right. Transphobes.

Oh definitely. I've found that most online bullies are much less confident when they can't hide behind a screen, but some will continue their assholery in public. I'm genuinely so sorry that happened to you, that's fucked up.

I've met people who were proudly transmeds in the "Queer Friendly" dorms I stayed in in college. Had a guy tell me I was "just confused about my gender" to my face.

I've personally had an easier time rallying support in real life. Talking to other club members one-on-one and saying "hey, so-and-so made some really transphobic comments that upset me today, did you notice that happening?" usually worked. Sometimes calling out the behavior in front of everyone helped as well; chances are other people were upset by it but too afraid to speak up.

And if all that didn't fix it? The space wasn't worth it, and it was time to find a new one.

Can we take a moment to think about the younger trans men and mascs on tumblr right now?

I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.

Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.

It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.

We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.

To any younger trans men or transmasculine people reading this:

The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.

Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.

If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.

You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.

Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!

Your issues with masculinity and malehood are not the curse that trans men must bear in order to earn your respect or protection ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

To any trans men or mascs scrolling through discourse tags right now:

I know things on tumblr may seem dire, but I promise the majority of the LGBT+ community doesn’t think this way.

You are allowed to be loud, to get angry. You deserve to have a voice. You have the right to speak up when people say things that hurt you- yes, even if these people are also LGBT+

Just know that these assholes DO NOT represent all of us. Don't let them trick you into believing otherwise. They may convince themselves that they are the “voice of the community” or whatever, but they’re just another hateful clique of bullies.

It’s not your job to fix those bigots’ toxic worldviews; you owe them nothing. You’re doing plenty by continuing to exist and advocating for yourself. Keep doing it as loudly and proudly as possible.

The rest of us have got your back, and you’re welcome here. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

you should show support for a victim more than you demosntrate hate towards an abuser. you should care more about the harm caused than the action. you should always prioritize helping someone in need over dissing a horrible person. good day

why does every queer turn into a redpilled anti-woke far-right comedian fan the moment you tell them they're intersexist like 'stop inventing new terms 🤡🤡 why is everything a slur now 🤡🤡🤡 that one friend that's too woke 🤡🤡' like it's actually surreal how often it happens. i desperately want to know what makes them think that shits okay.

“transandrophobia is the belief that trans women oppress trans men—” NO IT’S THE BELIEF THAT CIS PEOPLE OPPRESS US. WE ARE OPPRESSED BY CISGENDERED PEOPLE. WE ARE TARGETED BY CIS MEN AND CIS WOMEN. LITERALLY WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING. WHAT’S NOT CLICKING. YOU ARE A TERF TRYING TO DIVIDE US AND YOU WILL NEVER WIN.

I will never stop saying the furry fandom is intersexist until they remove the slurs for us (herm & futa) from their art sites, and stop stereotyping us and actively spreading the idea ambiguous genitalia = both genitalia.

- A very tired intersex furry