Nixisverytired - Trans Unity > Trans Discourse

Friendly reminder that you don’t owe anyone here a debate.

Person thinks trans men can’t reclaim “tranny”?

Wow, that’s stupid. Block ‘em.

Some asshole believes that trans men are uniquely misogynistic or privileged or whatever fun discourse buzzword they’re using today?

Their prejudice is not your problem. Block ‘em.

Random blogger says trans men don’t experience (insert common form of transphobia here)?

Don’t try to prove them wrong by sharing details of your trauma. Just block ‘em.

The worst offenders aren’t going to change. They’re not going to listen to you, or engage in a good-faith debate. Speaking from experience, showing them any vulnerability will just result in it being used against you.

It’s sad, but these people are stuck in a discourse tar-pit that makes them see their trans siblings as enemies. They have to pull themselves out; they won’t hear a word you say, not when they’ve already made up their minds about you.

Don’t give them a platform. Don’t waste your time and energy on bad-faith arguments. Spend it with people who don’t make misunderstanding you their favorite hobby.

And remember:

Make sure you've blocked fite-club/rittz. Like half of the inane discourse yapping goes away when you do, it's great.

don’t kill yourself because the internet is going to be really funny when Elon gets assassinated

I think at the end of the day, my opinion on all flavors of LGBT+ label discourse will always be: “If you do not belong to a community, you do not get to decide what words that community gets to coin and use.”

If you’re not ace, you shouldn't tell ace people they’re not allowed to use aspec or aphobia.

If you’re not intersex, you shouldn't tell intersex people they’re not allowed to use intersexism or CAGAB.

If you're not a trans woman, you shouldn't tell trans women they can't use the word transmisogyny.

If you’re not a trans man or transmasc, you’re not allowed to tell them they can’t use transandrophobia. And you certainly can’t redefine the word to suit your arguments against it.

Hell, even if you are a part of a community, you don’t get to decide what words OTHER PEOPLE can use.

I’m agender. I don’t like it when people refer to me as an “enby” bc I’m not a huge fan of the word, but it’s not my place to tell other nonbinary people they’re not allowed to use it just because I personally dislike it.

You’d have to be a grade-a asshole to think otherwise.

anyone else think it’s kinda weird to say “why would you choose to be a man??” to transmasc/transmen because to me you are implying that being trans is a choice…which it’s not…I didn’t choose to be transmasc…that’s how I was born…

I'm so tired....

I had to block 2 people on my post who saw "stop generalized transmasc experiences and dismissing our struggles" and respond to that with "stop acting like there's a secret cabal silencing transmascs" and "you don't think trans men can live meaningful lives as men". I don't even like blocking people but it's impossible to discuss with these conspiracy brained weirdos.

Sorry I'm trying to boost the voices of trans men who are suffering because I consistently see them shot down and the world is dangerous right now? Sorry I AM a trans man who's suffering and in constant fear? Sorry my lived experience doesn't align with your strawman but I'm unabashedly a man and my struggles are real and I won't let you dissect my identity into pieces to try to fit your narrative that the more a trans man identifies as a man the less oppression he faces. It's literally not true at all.

I AM living my life happily as a man, it was the first time I ever felt complete in my life when I was actively suicidal as a woman and thought I wouldn't live past 22. What a weird way to dismiss someone talking about their oppression. "You're struggling and communicating it so something can be done about it so you must not be happy with your identity". I'm very happy with my identity, I actually had hope for the future before all this transmasc hate but it's been wearing on me because uncriticized hate against a group of people lessens our quality of life and makes it more dangerous for us to live freely. The government's insistence to detransition me makes me unhappy, the mainstream uncriticized hatred of masculinity makes me unhappy, the insistence that other people know our struggles better than we do makes me unhappy.

I'm very happy being a trans man and I love the trans men in my life and I want them all to be happy, but I'm seeing us all struggle, so I'm speaking out about it.

Can we take a moment to think about the younger trans men and mascs on tumblr right now?

I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.

Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.

It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.

We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.

To any younger trans men or transmasculine people reading this:

The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.

Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.

If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.

You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.

Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!

you notice how even when transandrophobes strain their brains to come up with One Nice Thing to say about trans men, it's always some version of "they are useful to me"? Like, "oh it's a shame all trans men are mras now, they'd be good for a fuck otherwise" "i used to know this cool trans man who helped me realise my own identity back in the day, too bad they all suck now" "my trans men friends say it's totally okay for me to say these things about their demographic because they're cool and normal". Never even about general contributions to culture, it's canonical that trans men are completely incapable of producing anything of value after all, not about activism, just what trans men have done or could do to specifically benefit them personally. It's really revealing of the actual motives behind opposing trans mens self-advocacy.

Trans people are not inherently intersex.

Medical transition does not turn a perisex person intersex.

Your brain is not a sex trait, you do not have an "intersex brain", you are not "neurologically intersex" because you experience gender dysphoria.

If you believe any of this you are being intersexist.

Do you have an observable (including through testing or otherwise) genetic/natal variation in the way your sex traits developed? If the answer is NO, you are NOT INTERSEX. You are perisex.

Perisex refers to anyone who is not intersex, elaborated, does not have a natal variation in their sex traits. This term does not invalidate your transition. It refers to a bodily starting point and it's only purpose is to differentiate you from those with a different bodily starting point. If you were born in Detroit you can't say you were born in Baltimore because you live in Baltimore now. That's not how this works.

Why is this important? Because the only other terms for our bodily differences are the pathologizing disorders & syndromes we are diagnosed with. I am not a person with a DSD, I am intersex goddammit. If that word is watered down, then I'll be forced to refer to myself as disordered if I want to talk about how my body and my issues are different from yours, exactly like what cisnormative society wants me to do. Congratulations for helping reify intersexist pathologization that gets us killed! How #inclusionist of you!

You can be sex variant as a perisex person through transition, but you cannot "become intersex", please stop saying fucking this. There are more of you than there are us. You are speaking over us. We are already invisible and you are NOT helping.

im sick of how trans men are treated in queer spaces, you think i would be treated normally but no they started shitting on men, and the moment i spoke up i got "this isnt about you youre one of the good ones"

im sorry? you only said that because you know im trans, if i didnt disclose that you would of treated me like im evil or horrible just because you dont like men.

It definitely shouldn’t escape anyone’s notice that the majority of “transandrophobia isn’t real and tme/tma language is good actually” people are white. Like there is very much something to be said about a complete lack of awareness of non-white queer people existing, whether they acknowledge it or not. I know full well that everyone posting “trans men are just whiny little uwu soft babies complaining about nothing” are imagining a monolith of trans men/mascs who are all white and will not acknowledge the intersections of oppression that trans moc face. “All trans men have power over cis and trans women” even when the women in question are white. When asked about transphobia facing trans poc, they will mention maybe one or two black trans women they’re able to name to make themselves look like they care about black issues and never mention a single other trans person of colour. Quick, average white tumblr user, name a single black trans man. Name a single black trans male or non-binary artist right now.