Friendly Reminder That You Don’t Owe Anyone Here A Debate.

You all realize Feminists have been critiquing "women only spaces" for decades right?

I think often about Audre Lorde's critique of a women only event that welcomed her wife and daughter, but not her son. Because she questioned it - the function and purpose of barring even the sons of Feminist women from Feminist events. Especially the barring of her young Black son, who would otherwise be left alone in the city where he would be more prone to the very violence those same Feminist women claimed to want to change.

Because what functional, forward thinking Feminist purpose does it actually serve to do that? What message does that send to women with sons, husbands, brothers, lovers, friends, who want to involve the men and boys in their lives in their activism? Who want to build a functionally better world for us all outside of the oppressive grasp of Patriarchy? Especially for the marginalized men who often sit at their own intersection violent Patriarchal oppression, that still happens to be Patriarchal oppression despite it not being distinctly misogyny?

What purpose does it truly serve to sequester yourself away into a pocket of the world, detached from those you share it with? What bright and shining future does that really promise you?

“transandrophobia is the belief that trans women oppress trans men—” NO IT’S THE BELIEF THAT CIS PEOPLE OPPRESS US. WE ARE OPPRESSED BY CISGENDERED PEOPLE. WE ARE TARGETED BY CIS MEN AND CIS WOMEN. LITERALLY WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING. WHAT’S NOT CLICKING. YOU ARE A TERF TRYING TO DIVIDE US AND YOU WILL NEVER WIN.

I'm gonna be real with you and say that it's not really progressive when you see black characters/POC coded characters and instantly talk about how cool they are because they piss of bigots.

I'm sorry but like, can I draw the joy of myself and my racial identity without thinking about how politicized my existence is Thanks.

It’s funny how so many of these proudly transandrophobic blogs are just. Blatantly intersexist and exorsexist as well. Literally just blocked a binary trans person who had four posts in a row whinging about nonbinary people and their “esoteric non-man genders”

And if they're not doing that, they're saying intersex individuals shouldn’t speak up about the casual intersexism rampant in the LGBT+ community, because it makes queer perisex people sad :(

Sometimes these dumbasses even go for triple, and call every transfem whose even vaguely supportive of trans men “pick mes” or “brainwashed puppets” or even “trans men in disguise”, because nothing says you’re supportive of trans women like a dose of transmisogyny!

I guess anyone who is proudly a bigot towards one group is probably gonna be a bigot to others, even if they try to pretend otherwise.

Makes em easy to block, though. One less dumbass on my dash, hope they figure their shit out bc god damn, it’s embarrassing to witness.

Some advice on learning how to notice transmisogyny.

⚧️ Posts that imply that certain negative behaviors are unique to trans women. For example, claiming that trans women are uniquely transandrophobic (even though transandrophobia can be found in every community)

⚧️ Posts that imply that trans women are uniquely dangerous. For example, claiming that trans women get away with sexual assault because people are afraid to call her out for it

⚧️ Posts that treat trans women as a monolith. For example, implying that all trans women grew up on 4chan, or that all trans women treat trans men a certain way

⚧️ Posts that vaguely imply that a trans woman has done something evil. These posts will use word of mouth as "concrete" evidence for their claims, relying on the reader to jump to a transmisogynistic conclusion

yeah I mean I don't think I can add much more to this, just, use critical thinking and engage in being nuance pilled whenever you see takes online

Trans people are not inherently intersex.

Medical transition does not turn a perisex person intersex.

Your brain is not a sex trait, you do not have an "intersex brain", you are not "neurologically intersex" because you experience gender dysphoria.

If you believe any of this you are being intersexist.

Do you have an observable (including through testing or otherwise) genetic/natal variation in the way your sex traits developed? If the answer is NO, you are NOT INTERSEX. You are perisex.

Perisex refers to anyone who is not intersex, elaborated, does not have a natal variation in their sex traits. This term does not invalidate your transition. It refers to a bodily starting point and it's only purpose is to differentiate you from those with a different bodily starting point. If you were born in Detroit you can't say you were born in Baltimore because you live in Baltimore now. That's not how this works.

Why is this important? Because the only other terms for our bodily differences are the pathologizing disorders & syndromes we are diagnosed with. I am not a person with a DSD, I am intersex goddammit. If that word is watered down, then I'll be forced to refer to myself as disordered if I want to talk about how my body and my issues are different from yours, exactly like what cisnormative society wants me to do. Congratulations for helping reify intersexist pathologization that gets us killed! How #inclusionist of you!

You can be sex variant as a perisex person through transition, but you cannot "become intersex", please stop saying fucking this. There are more of you than there are us. You are speaking over us. We are already invisible and you are NOT helping.

I don't mean any offense here, but I'm not sure it's a good idea to call this a trend? Like, 90% of my IRL friend group is transfem furries. "[Animal][Girl][Cock]" is not a discourse thing, it's a furry tgirl thing. I've seen plenty of people with usernames that follow this theme who are perfectly lovely people- more than I've seen discourse blogs that follow the theme.

I think a lot of the discourse assholes just also happen to be transfem furries. There's no strong correlation, and it's not causation. Just coincidence.

what are the trends? what are the username trends for transandrophobic posters? any specifics?

Typically [animal][girl][slang term for penis]

(Mandatory disclaimer for those lacking reading comprehension - As implied with the term "trend," this is not 100% an identifyer for transandrophobic trans women.)

Queer 👏 people 👏 are 👏 not 👏 all 👏 fucking 👏 activists 👏

Stop quizzing us on queer history and asking us questions we aren’t qualified to answer about the world and about politics and about our identities

Stop trying to back us into a corner so you can justify your discrimination on the basis that we don’t know what we’re talking about or can’t “defend” ourselves to you

Stop treating every queer person that stands up and says “I want to be treated like a person” as if they’re an activist

Cut that bullshit out

Marginalised people just want to exist and be happy

I don’t know everything, and that doesn’t make me undeserving of your respect or my human rights you fucker

I don’t even owe you the stuff I do know- I still am entitled to basic fucking respect

TLDR; Queer people shouldn’t have to be historians or scientists for you to not be a fucking dick

alright im starting to just flat out not trust people who arent trans men/mascs that refer to trans MEN as "tboys" and/or "trans boys"

every time i see that shit its usually tied to some really shitty statement in the same exact fucking post

i might have to start collecting screenshots from now on of what im talking about to demonstrate my point later

but anyway, heres a not so friendly reminder: stop infantilizing us by calling us "boys". its trans MEN or trans GUYS or trans DUDES. you should not be calling anyone a trans boy unless you are familiar with them and they are comfortable with that. because a lot of us fucking arent.