I Hope This Isn’t Rude, But Can I Add On To This?

If you want people in the transandrophobia tag to post less about inter community issues, you have two options:

1. Make your own posts about non-community issues

2. Speak up when other queer people: make fun of trans men and trans mascs, deny transandrophobia, say one type of trans person has it worse than all other trans people, erase/leave out/forget trans men and mascs in their activism, deny the lived experiences of trans men and mascs

It stings worse when betrayal comes from someone you thought was an ally, so I’m really not surprised a lot of posts about transandrophobia are talking about inter community issues.

Not a fan of egg jokes in general, but it's so telling that it's always like 'oh you use flower deodorant now? can't wait to check on you next year, girlfriend' and not like 'oh you don't wear nail polish anymore? can't wait to see an agender flag pin on your vest' or whatever. Like it's always binary egg jokes, we can't ever be anything else when trying out differently gendered activities.

this is exorsexism.

So much pointless LGBT+ discourse could be avoided if people just stopped assuming they knew everything about the oppression OTHER identities face.

For example, if you’re nonbinary, you can absolutely talk about the struggles you’ve dealt with as a nonbinary person, and speak of the issues your community is dealing with. But if you’re not transfem, it’s not your place to comment on how transfem issues compare to your own.

And if you’re a trans woman, you should absolutely not be talking about how trans men “have it easier” or what transitioning is like for them, because you fundamentally don’t know! You’re not a trans man!

And it goes both ways- trans men shouldn’t speak on trans women’s issues! Binary trans people shouldn’t claim to know what it’s like to be nonbinary!

It even hearkens back to older varieties of discourse, like ace discourse. You saw non-ace people talking about what THEY thought being ace was like, because they believed that being LGBT+ themselves made them the arbiters of oppression.

Or hell, gay men claiming that lesbians had it sooo easy compared to what they went through! Like, man, how the hell would you know, you're not a lesbian!

Just. Stop! Stop talking about the assumed experiences of other people! Being one flavor of queer doesn’t mean you’re the expert on ALL queer oppression! LISTEN to other people, stop talking over them!

I think if people accepted this, 90% of stupid online identity discourse would vanish overnight.

since theres been an uptick in transandrophobia and aphobia lately:

you need to care about and support trans men and transmasc people that are asexual or acespec

you need to care about and support trans men and transmasc people that are aromantic or arospec

you need to care about and support trans men and transmasc people that are aplatonic or aplspec

you need to care about and support trans men and transmasc people that are afamilial or afamspec

you need to care about and support trans men and transmasc people that are aspec

Also, as someone who’s not a man-

Isn’t it demeaning? To act like you’re so helpless that you need a big strong man to come save you? Isn’t it insulting? To think you’re the only one who’s ever been a victim, so protecting you is a man’s job?

I’m not going to ask the men in my life to protect me, because I know we already have each other’s backs.

Trans men don’t have to be personally useful to you for them to be valuable members of the community. Stop treating them like tools.

Stop asking trans men to throw themselves on the sword so you can be shielded from transphobia.

Stop acting like it’s their job to protect you, just because they’re men.

Don’t ask trans men to defend you or speak up for you if you’re not willing to return the favor.

We’re supposed to protect each other regardless of identity; it needs to be a two-way street. That’s the whole fucking point of this community.

It's a trans thing in general, really. I'm agender and I had one. They have no right to claim that the very concept of a dysphoria hoodie is transfem specific.

The only dysphoria hoodie stolen from transfems is the one I swipe from my wife's closet when I wanna steal her clothes.

Wait are these assholes trying to claim the concept of a dysphoria hoodie was stolen from trans women

Dysphoria Hoodies??? Really? As we know, the concept of wearing a Baggy Article of Clothing to deal with your dysphoria was nonexistent until the first ever trans woman discovered the magic of the hoodie.

Really???

I was wearing those before I knew what being trans was! Shockingly, if you're dysphoric about a part of your body, your first instinct may be to cover it up with easily available gender-neutral clothing... such as, I don't know, a hoodie? But no, those mean transmascs and nonbinaries stole it from women, who would have guessed :(

Guess we gotta add it to the list, along with "cat ear headphones" and "eggs" and "liking anime."

Be gay, trans and alive

genuinely have had numerous people tell me that as a trans man i'm "a men's rights activist invading trans spaces".

so many people legitimately do not see trans men as trans.

i need people to understand that so many people for some reason have the idea that trans = feminine or woman. it's a real issue.

how are trans men invading trans spaces? this is where we live. and of course we're gonna advocate for our own rights. why wouldn't we? we don't exist to self flagellate because the idea of transsexual and transgender manhood and masculinity frightens you. i'm a trans man. i'm trans. i'm not invading my own community.

the fact that people are genuinely, unironically arguing against the idea that you should listen to transmascs about the oppression they face is so funny to me

i cannot imagine telling a whole minority "we know your oppression better than you" because that just sounds like plain old bigotry to me

but dont worry, transmascs definitely dont face misogyny, even when people are telling them that they don't understand their own experiences, and they need to have their oppression explained to them because they're too simple to understand it themselves

They say we can't reclaim "tranny" as if they haven't called our voices "tranny voice" for years, as if they haven't called us "tranny dykes" forever, as if cis people actually care who they hit with that word. I have been called "tranny," I have been called it in multiple languages, in many ways, people in my high school used it to attack me like any other trans person, queer people did. People used it to mock, to hurt, aggrivate, to try to bond.

But they push us out of feminist spaces because suddenly we don't understand anymore, they push us out of sapphic spaces because they deem our bodies gross, our self-expression wrong, and now they push us out of trans spaces because we don't suffer enough. I wonder how much more pain I am supposed to shoulder before it will be enough for it to be deemed worth talking about, for it to be deemed worth discussing, reclaiming.

Because we have the bi experience, the ace, and inter experience: every side turns us away. We're too queer and too damaged, and then we're not queer enough, haven't suffered enough.

All this when you won't even let us talk about our pain in our own voices. How will you ever know it if you never listen; if you make us afraid to talk?