The Way Some Of Y'all Say "the Term Transandrophobia Is Misogynistic Because Misandry Isn't Real" Is

youo know on this website i see ppl post things about other trans people that are borderline indistinguishable from anti trans threads/boards or kiwifarms. idk how to tell you this but idrc if u think someone is at a 'cringey' stage in their transition or they annoy u. that shits straight up evil. ur doing the opps work for them

Trans Men, the afterthought of the LGBT.

Think of the world "LGBT" in your mind. What flashes through? I see a quick rifling through four people like a slideshow... a chubby cis gay guy, a tall cis lesbian with killer eyeliner, a short cis girl with a kooky hairstyle, and a trans woman. What she looks like varies every time, but 90% of cases I think of a girl. Even as a trans man myself whose trans friends are like two-thirds trans men, the first thing I think of when I hear the word "trans" is usually a trans woman. When hear HRT? Estrogen. When hear SRS? Vaginoplasty.

And that's not a coincidence... because trans guys don't dominate any trans spaces unless it's specifically labelled an ftm-only space. I've seen trans women themselves point out that trans boy spaces are labelled as "ftm" while trans girl spaces are labelled "trans". No "fem" or "girl" or "woman" anywhere in the name - just "trans".

Think of trans rep on TV. Trans people are already incredibly underrepresented - but on the rare occasion we do get shown onscreen, it's always someone MTF. I could give a million examples - but there are already many people who've said the exact same thing and doing so at this point would be redundant.

Think of spaces that say "This is for females ONLY" (sometimes they say "women" but really mean "cis women"). Nobody ever thinks of the trans men who might find themselves in a position to need that resource (such as homeless shelters) who will invariably be denied because TERFs hate trans men too and despite whatever they claim, they do not actually see us as girls. The response to "female-only spaces" is "but what about trans women". Which is GOOD! It should keep being a response! It should keep raising questions! It should, however, not be the only question we're asking here!

Think of "women's health" issues. Even then, the conversation around inclusive language always revolves around "but some girls don't do that because they're trans" (which is a good thing on its own but it's not good as an exclusive variant) and not "but some people do that and aren't girls because they're trans". Even in conversations about uteruses and everything they revolve, it's always centred around "but not all women" instead of "not all are women".

Lastly, think of radical feminism. Think of so-called internet "misandrists". Think of how many times you've seen one, whether cis or trans, ever include the word "cis" in their classic "all men" posts. Never? Exactly. And when you call them out on it, their response is almost always some kind of variant of "well you know that's not what I meant". And it's true most times, they didn't mean it; they forgot it. Forgot about us. Like every single time, they forget we see these things and feel hurt. They forget we're there. To them, we might as well be a flower on the wall.

Anyway. Just wanted to type this out because it's been bouncing around my head for a while. Happy late trans visibility day. Not only this week but for the rest of your life I want you to listen to and amplify trans men's voices; they need it.

we need to start teaching baby fags that it's okay to be fat and/or old because it's really starting to get dire out here

what the actual fuck...

People who deny the existence of transandrophobia tend to focus on 2 types of trans men:

Pre-transition or very early-transition men, who are often closeted/treated as women by society.

And post-transition men, who are stereotyped as passing perfectly and having all of the privileges and power of cis men.

They use the post-transition man as an example of the supposed “systematic power” they believe ALL trans men hold, claiming he directly oppresses him and benefits from the patriarchy. They ignore the fact that in order to maintain any semblance of this he must be closeted and hide the fact that he is trans at all times. They ignore that he will still inevitably face medical discrimination, as the medical field is notorious for treating transmasc individuals poorly. Because this man is indistinguishable from a cis man in their eyes, it becomes morally acceptable for them to hate him.

And they use the pre-transition trans man as a punching bag. They stereotype him as a “whiny, privileged he/they” that “weaponizes and clings to his femininity” and always plays the victim. Notably, they echo all of your standard truscum bullying tactics. They mock his choice of name, stereotype his interests as “cringe” or childish. They treat him not as a trans man, but as a future detransitioner, a future terf, a cringey teenage girl. And if they can make themselves believe that he’s not truly trans, he becomes the perfect “acceptable target.” After all, trans people can’t really bully their oppressors, so when they do it, they’re actually punching up.

Now, their perceptions of these men are bullshit, obviously, but what’s even worse is their refusal to acknowledge the third and most common group of trans men in the community: Mid-transition/visibly transgender men.

Men with visible facial hair, low voices, and breasts. Men who have traits that are commonly regarded as both feminine and masculine. Men who cannot afford or do not personally desire top surgery, but have decided to hormonally transition. Men who have fully transitioned, but enjoy dressing in clothes society deems “feminine.” Men who have not transitioned medically, but have masculine haircuts and clothing and names. Literally any trans guy with visible top surgery scars.

The list goes on.

The people who claim transandrophobia isn't real refuse to acknowledge that visibly transgender men even exist, because these men don’t fit into their worldviews and weaken their arguments.

At the end of the day, society hates anybody they can identify as trans, most often anyone who’s visibly GNC and/or visibly transgender. Cis people react to your existence with disgust and fear. It doesn’t matter if you’re a trans woman, a trans man, nonbinary or intersex- if they cannot sort you neatly into the categories of “man” and “woman”, you are regarded as something that’s not truly human, an enemy. And because it’s all based on perception, even perisex cis people are caught in the crossfire of this- especially if they’re POC.

Those who deny this are contributing to the erasure of trans men and enabling future violence against them.

"Masculinity is rewarded" have you ever spoken to a transmasc or a butch or a tomboy or any masculine woman/person perceived as a woman. Have you ever spoken to a gnc transfem.

Thank you so much for the post about why you defend trans men. I literally JUST got another death threat, and seeing that immediately after kept me sane. Thank you so much

I am so sorry you're getting death threats, it blows my mind that people think that it's ok to treat y'all like this.

Please take care of yourself first and foremost, and don't be afraid to take a step back from discourse if you need to.

Would it kill you people to acknowledge non-binary and genderqueer people?

Would it kill you to remember that the terms transmasculine and transfeminine are not synonymous with binary trans men and binary trans women?

Would it kill you to remember that there are those who are not transmasculine and face the same issues as transmasculine people and that there are those who are not transfeminine but face the same issues as transfeminine people?

Would it kill you to add even a token acknowledgment of non-binary and genderqueer people when you talk about trans issues in a needlessly and harmfully binary way?

Would it fucking kill you to stop and think about us for a single moment?

please vocally support the trans men/mascs in your lives

if you see someone say misandrist or transandrophobic shit, shut that shit down

i know it is so fucking difficult for us to voice our discomfort regarding those topics because we are afraid we will be told to shut the fuck up, to stop being misogynistic or transmisogynistic or whatever the fuck else to distract from the problem which is people feeling emboldened to freely voice these things that wound us even more than we've already been wounded by oppression and bigotry

shut that shit down whenever possible

make spaces that are safe for us to be in

it is so fucking important to do this right now

show us that you care about the feelings of the trans men/mascs in your life, show us that you value our safety, show us that we mean something to you, show us that you consider us human and deserving of basic human respect

dont let this hatred keep festering and driving us out or into the ground

hey don’t cry. every single transandrophobic post you see is actually just one of fite-club’s ten thousand alt accounts. yeah it’s okay. no one except him actually thinks like that