DP X DC Prompt - Midnight Muffins And Math HW

i've just decided you're all wrong and the actual funniest scenario of the league not knowing bruce has kids until they take his place as batman during league meetings is the scenario where bruce never even asked them to pretend to be batman.

when he can't make an important meeting he sends either jason or dick in his place just as themselves, because if he can vouch for them as proxys then why would the league have an issue with it? they just need to show up and say they're there to take notes for batman or something, there's no need to lie. he doesn't even realise that his identity is being stolen until he shows up after a meeting he sent a sub in for and when he shows up everyone is staring at him awkwardly.

batman: what's everybody looking at

green lantern: nothing! we're just... concerned.

flash: yeah... how was your surgery?

batman:

batman: what surgery

green lantern: ...well you ran out of the meeting last week yelling about how you were going to be late for your 'piles removal operation'

green lantern: so uh. how'd it go big guy?

batman:

batman: i wasn't here last week. jason was.

the league:

flash: who the fucks jason

batman:

batman: *slowly turns to superman, who is staring at the table stubbornly*

batman: clark-

superman: THE KIDS SEEMED SO EXCITED TO DRESS UP, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE BORING UNCLE AND SAY NO!

bruce ends up calling jason in front of the league to demand an explanation and clear his name. jason straight up doesn't even remember what he did.

jason, on call: oh hey B, thought you were at a JL meeting this afternoon?

bruce: i am. what happened last week?

jason: i sent tim the report to hand over already! i didn't get all of it though, i had to leave real quick towards the end because damian was threatening to set my safe house on fire if i didn't pick him up from school

bruce: and the league let you go early?

jason: yeah i made some excuse, i think i said-

jason: *pauses, remembering what he'd done*

jason: oh my god

bruce lays his head on the table while jason laughs through the loud speaker for the next eight minutes.

Do you ever feel so overwhelmed by reality, you just sit down. Then you feel The crashing weight of everything that is happening right now and you just start leaning back from your position.

However instead of meeting the back of your chair or your bed or even the floor, you fall through the rip in reality and continue falling through the clouds. But it's all good and well as you land in this other World.

This World is filled with wondrous creatures of all kinds, interesting flora and people. Oh so many people who have very different problems from you. And you cannot help but tag along as they progress in dealing with those problems. As they set off onto fantastic adventures. 

And you are just there, always near, always watching and learning about this world, about its wonders and horrors.

You get to explore this world, get to know its people and you are finally happy.

You make friends along the way, you experience emotions, they do. Sadness, fear, betrayal and happiness. Everything is wonderful.

And then you blink and you are back. But as your hands hover over your keyboard and as you look at your work, you cannot help but smile.

This, this is exactly what writing feels like and as you sit there you cannot help but feel content.

Sure, reality will grasp you in its claws soon enough.

But for those few short, treasured  moments, everything is well in the world.

Short DPXDC Prompts #225

There’s a deity in Krypton that looks frighteningly like Danny as Ghost King. Superman freezes when he sees the Phantom for the first time because it’s like he was directly taken out of the murals he’s seen of the Kryptonian god.

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

Among Us AU Idea

It’ s 2076 the technology is really advanced, to the point people can use a special devices, normally designed as bracelets, earrings, necklaces, pins and all variants of other accessories. Devices allows people to play a game in real life, swapping their body with the different one made out of special codes (think “World Trigger” trion bodies, just made out of the newest generation codes) , that can be personalized just as avatars in a game(based on one color obviously, but with different shades and accessories). This body is also allowing them to do things, they normally wouldn’t be able to do.  With devices, they can also summon variety of weapons and are able to see and do things that are allowed only to people participating in the game. Such as tasks at checkpoints, that are create with bigger versions of their portable devices. They also have a special eye - ear part device that connects them with chat and shows them any system announcements, and a map… we don’t want new and/or out of city players to get lost. These came in glass – like shape or in one – eye glass option.

  The game is set up in a city and depending on how many people are playing the one area in the city becomes their map. In bigger cites there are more areas, but depending on how big is the playing group, they game can take, one, two or even four areas in the city. ( Personally I think at same point there were this big “player unite” thing, where the whole city was the map. But that’s happening like once every three month. It’s difficult to synchronize game time.) All players have accounts, some choose to be anonymous, others don’t, they are beating scores and gathering points being future versions of today streamers.

As for the rules, there is a big difference, because we are not playing on a ship there are two options. First, find out who is the impostor and lure them to checkpoint where you can trap them for the rest of the game, or at least as long as no other impostor will find them. Or second option, eliminate them, because that actually is the option in this game. Crewmates can kill, the downfall being the fact that, differently from impostors, they don’t have to. So it can make them suspicious. When someone get’s slayed the information is automatically send as an announcement. Finding a body in the city would be a nightmare, especially since the “dead player” is not dead, but if he/she will get slayed, the red or black “X” will appear on their back and front suite side. And the points are claimed by the killer. The slayed person have to stay within 100 meters radius from the place their got slayed. And of course all communication options are being turned down.

Okay, but what is the difference between impostors and crewmates than? Impostors don’t have tasks to do in checkpoints. In one area there are eight checkpoints, depends o how many players participate, the number of activated checkpoints is higher or lower. However there is always one checkpoint that is inactive, and impostors never can tell witch one. That way they can be discovered. They can however use “shortcuts”, teleportation devices, spread all around the city. This, they can do thanks to their special “impostor code” within their body. They can also see who the other impostor(s) are. All players have the same pupils within their eyes. A simple circle with little star(or different shape) in the center, impostors circle are full at the bottom. For crewmates there are no difference but impostors are finding each- other with ease. They can also see where are other players on their map, while crewmates are limited to players literally five meters from them and if impostor will find another one of his kind, they can talk with the intercoms. Normally intercoms are available to use only for few minutes after someone is slayed to check where everyone are.

 The tasks are obviously iconic : swapping the card, connecting wires or checking the switches to lights. The game never stops after all, and some people prefer to play at night. But also downloading data, checking shields on checkpoints, unlocking variety of different cryptic messages and even solving some riddles, or puzzles (music ones included). Some scans, really similar to the med-bay scans and if you personalize your tasks settings even baking or dancing in something similar to “just dance” and let’s not forget about karaoke task.

  What else? Obviously more available colors to use, more operation options, since now the game is happening in actual real world and players can talk one to another if they meet up. And as for question about what else can be seen with eye piece, in different game modes, players statistics, the names of places, checkpoints and game participants nicks. Also, already mentioned, chat and map – obviously, announcements, checkpoint screens and all the messages from players and tasks.

There is a new Wayne Family fan account. Which wouldn't be too out of the ordinary if it weren't for the account talking about things they should have no way of knowing.

Danny can't do anything about Vlad now that he's both become mayor and wormed his way back into his parents lives. But he can at least piss him off. He does that via multiple fan accounts that point out how much better other billionaires are compared to him. Though in hindsight, maybe he shouldn't have relied on ghosts to get him information.

A selection of few fanfics:

->„Yuu and the power of magic”, by writingerror on ao3- this one is Twisted wonderland x Harry Potter

->Ghost in NYC series by AsharksReadingGlasses on ao3 - DPxMarvel

-> The Ghost of Heroes by Enigmaris, ScarletNightFury - DPXMarvel gem

->For the want of the nail series by Clouds(myheadisinthecloudsnotcomingdown) on ao3 -MHA

->Yesterday upon the stair by PitViperOfDoom on ao3 - another mha, this one is a classic

-> Distorted Reality by Ogro on fanfiction net - Avatar one haven’t read it in the entirety but is seems very good and interesting

-> Can’t remember to forget you by ECLIPSEWXTCH on ao3 - Black Phone time travel (kinda)

->Harry Potter and the greatest show by shadowscribe on ao3 - Hp time travel

->Of Timelines and Trolleys by HallucinateOnPaperSpines on ao3 - Transformers fic with some delicious reality warping and horror elements

->Manor-Dad let’s me drive the Batmobile by lostletters (loosingletters) on ao3 - DC or a lot of BatFam shinenagans

->A Robin’s Nest by SilvermistAnimeLover on ao3 - Izuku Midoriya is Richard Grayson, sadly only 10 chapters

->Fighting with fear by Turacin on ao3 - S classes that I raised

->The Lives worth saving on ao3 or ff net - Naruto gem that was never finished but many people try so there are few versions floating around

->The Ghost of Heroes by Enigmaris, ScarletNightFury on ao3 - wonderful DP x Marvel piece

->I’m just a mob! By Williamcipher on ao3- Katekyo hitman reborn transmigration situation

->That time I got reincarnated as a doomed side character by Gantrychild on ao3 - MHA transmigration situation

->Ectoplasmic Educational Employment(Quirky Danny Fenton The Teacher? More likely than you think!) by GothMoth on ao3 - Danny Phantom hilarious fic

->Samsara by luccisworks on ao3 - Merlin, reunion after centuries trope

->Samsara by Shivani on ao3 - Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Tsuna dying and coming back again and again and ag…

Mourning Symptoms

Warning: Dissociation, mentions of mental breakdowns, character’s death and canon typical violence.

________________________________________

The death was unexpected, it left all of them feeling empty and finding their own ways to grieve.

And the way it happened?

Well, that too left a lot to be desired.

***

First few days were a blur for Jazz. She honestly was a bit ashamed to admit it, as an upcoming psychologist but it seemed like she dissociated a lot. She would sit at the table, lay on her bed or even start reading her textbooks and then she would realise a few hours have passed.

It was scary when it happened the first time. And then three more times after that. But if Jazz was one thing, it was being highly self aware of her mental state so it didn't take too long to figure out what's going on.

Most afternoons, the young woman would find herself lying in bed, looking at her ceiling.

Her mind would wander, usually, ultimately, taking her to the time of accident. Making her wonder if she could have done something differently. If she could do more. If anything would change the outcome.

Her thoughts would blend with each other and Her Head would start filling up with static-like, white noise. It was just like going underwater, when noises became less and less, until exchanged for the feeling of plunged lug holes, strained from the pressure below the waves.

Her ears would become deaf to her mother's screams from downstairs, telling her about dinner, then supper. Then deaf to words meant to bring comfort. Told through the door as Madeline Fenton worried and promised empty ‘everything is going to be okay’ and ‘we are here if you need us’ before going to turn in and fall into uneasy slumber.

Jazz was deaf to it all. Her eyes unseeing, unfocused, no longer taking in her ceiling.

She wasn't doing anything, just existing. Just losing time. Sometimes she would shake out of the stupor. Jazz would realise what time it was and began doing anything to keep the thoughts away, forsaking the sleep for the night.

Sometimes she would fall into hectic slumber littered with stormy dreams. Waking up during different hours each time.

After those, worst days passed and she finally regained some semblance of time awareness. It had been more than a week since the accident.

Jazz tried all possible ways to deal with guilt and grief. She tried to reason with herself, tried to rationalise it, compartmentalize her thoughts and finally she broke down.

It helped somewhat, she would think.

But it would take a long while for her to feel normal again. The feeling of a rock in her chest grew and she knew, the grief and guilt would not ease anytime soon.

**

Sam was once again lost in thoughts, laying on her bed.

In the month that followed the incident she seemed to lose a lot of time like that.

She still couldn't believe what happened. One of her friends was gone, this time for good and there was nothing she could do. This time there was no supernatural solution. No coming back from the dead.

She remembered, like through fog when a week after, she still held hope. The second, she snuck into the lab, took The Spectre speedster and flew herself to the Time keep.

Sam yelled at the Time Ghost until her throat felt raw and ached.

Then she was gently sent out of the Clockworks keep and cried in the safety of her room.

She couldn’t talk afterwards but she knew without doubt. That accident was partially her fault.

She had been responsible for her friend's death. Twice.

So she did what she always has done.

She kept busy.

In following weeks Samantha created three separate new campaigns dedicated to saving the planet. Remodeled her bedroom four times, until it looked just like at the beginning and created fourteen separate diy articles of clothing.

All in all Sam was doing everything she could in order not to think, what wasn’t an easy task. Her mind was dead set on going back to the accident, again and again. And once she started thinking about the incident, her mind was reminding her about the portal one. Two times her friend died. Two times and only one of them brought the dead one back.

Most nights Sam shed tears in the safety of her bedroom, always making sure no traces of them were left in the morning. Her mind was not a nice place to be these days and her grandmother noticed.

So if there were days when both of them sat holding each other's hands and talking about nothing and everything, pretending in front of Sam’s parents that everything was okay, it was only between them.

**

Tucker wasn't faring much better than his Gothic friend. Not only he worried for all People dear to him, he developed obsession in his own right. Always checking where everyone's where. Always noting whatever words he said that could hurt them and apologising whenever there was a slight chance they did.

Tucker was very pointedly not thinking about what transpired four weeks prior but all signs that something was wrong were there.

The boy was quieter than usual, skittish and keeping track of everyone he cared about.

His parents noticed of course, their son, usually an open boy, was closing up and hiding things from them. He was obsessively noting every detail, every little thing and overthinking everything. It was like Tucker was afraid everyone would disappear.

Breaking point came when his father found the document on his computer, detailing two weeks worth of every single move of both him, his wife and their boy’s friends.

All the times they left their respective houses, what they were wearing, when they got back. It was all there and a worrying sign.

Intervention came soon after that and whatever Tucker’s parents expected was not almost three hours long babbling and denying of everything before a full on breakdown that lasted equally as long.

Tucker didn’t outright admit what happened but he lost the possibility of ignoring that everything was okay.

The road to his mind’s stability would be long but Tucker’s parents were ready to help his son, even if they didn’t know what happened to send him into such state… yet.

**

Valerie Gray was sitting on her bed, out of everyone she seemed to be the most put together it looked like. She saw Sam and Tucker at school and they were a mess.

Just last year Valerie wouldn’t even know there was anything wrong with them but she got to know them through Danny and knew they weren’t okay. Not even remotely and even if they tried to make it seem like everything was fine, putting on a brave facade, at this point there was no fooling her.

To be completely fair to them, Valerie was doing exactly the same thing they did. She was acting like everything was normal, like an accident didn’t happen… like she didn’t play a part in it.

Valerie ate dinner with her father and went to her room, only then she allowed herself to show weakness, sliding down the wall onto the floor. She curled her legs to her chest and turned her head. Her eyes caught the glimpse of the box underneath her bed and she pulled it out of there.

Opening it, she didn’t know what to feel and her Red Huntress costume didn’t have an answer for her either. Only thing she knew was that she would not wear it again. Or at least for a very long while.

It was just like what Phantom told her once before, „can you really take part in destroying the human?”. And the worst irony of all was, he would never be able to ask her that again.

Not to mention, the answer was obvious - yes.

Valerie shut the box and kicked it back under the bed, hot tears already falling.

**

The knock on the door was not expected at four in the afternoon but as luck would have it he was the only one home and therefore had to open them.

„Hello Daniel” greeted Vlad Masters smiling in the nicest possible way a millionaire and reformed villain could.

Danny sighed realising that since Vlad was in fact (kind of) reformed and was actually bothering to knock, therefore he would have to let him in.

Black haired boy stepped aside, motioning the inside of the house.

„Come in.” He said, prompting a wider smile that looked a tad bit too like a villain one.

As Vlad made it inside the house with an actual leather bag that, judging from the smell, contained snacks Danny felt relief.

For the past three months Vlad was trying, more for Dani than him really but he was trying. Today Danny didn’t have to worry about poison in his food. What was more worrying was why Vlad was at his house in the first place. As subtle as he could, Danny shot a message to Jazz.

„What brings you here today?” Asked the younger half ghost, deciding to thread carefully.

Vlad moved to the kitchen like he owned the place and proceeded to deposit his bag on the counter, before proceeding to pull out more and more containers full of food.

„I thought I would drop by.” Intoned the older man, still putting out the boxes „Dani likes to hang out with you and I cannot have my beloved daughter and dear godson going hungry now, can I?” Vlad hummed to himself.

Danny stilled and shifted to a more tense position as his ex-enemy continued to hum to himself while unwrapping the food.

„Vlad, do you remember what happened five weeks ago?” The teen asked warily.

The hand that was about to put a box of meat rolls on the counter stilled, the man’s eyes widened.

„No…”

It wasn’t the first time it happened and Danny knew exactly what was coming.

„Vlad…” started Danny, deciding to be direct. „Danielle is gone.”

„No!” Vlad snarled, meat rolls falling onto the floor as he swirled, his eyes blazing red.

„Yes, Vlad she is gone. Dead. Permanently.”

Vlad lunged, shifting mid way. Danny let his transformation wash over him as he turned them both intangible and let them fall through the floor and into the lab.

His parents never learned the truth and it was way easier to explain the damages done to the lab then the ones sustained by the living room.

Two ghosts grappled for a while, Vlad snarling like a wild animal.

Phantom kicked him off of him and blasted him with ectoblasts.

Vlad deflected and their battle continued for a while longer. They used ectoblasts, threw each other towards walls and onto various appliances, Dany knew well, he will have to repair and grapple with each other. As the time went by, Plasmius attacks kept getting weaker.

Finally Dany pinned Plasmius to the floor, feeling that the ghost was shivering all over. Dark circles moved up and down, revealing human Vlad again.

„She can’t be gone.” Whispered the other half ghost. „She can’t”.

Phantom let go and found himself being latched onto as a grown man wept.

Danny’s eyes were empty.

**

Vlad was lucky, the rest of the Fentons went out on a Jazz college festival thing. Otherwise it would be an awkward situation all around.

It took the man two hours to calm down enough to take his medications and nearly another one before he left, promising to not forget taking the pills again.

Left alone again, Danny stood in front of the Portal, once again in his Phantom form.

He opened the portal and flew into the Zone, moving towards his most frequent destination lately.

Landing behind Clockwork who was monitoring other timelines in his keep, Danny straightened up.

„Hello Danny.” Greeted the Ancient of time, without even turning around. „Ready for our next lesson?” There was amusement in his voice.

„I am.” A short answer came, more and more common these days.

There was silence for a minute before the older being shifted into his adult form and with amusement colouring his voice spoke, finally turning to face Danny.

„Ask what you want to ask.”

Danny kept silent for a moment longer, his eyes hardened and teeth clenched even harder.

„If I do this… is it possible? Were you telling the truth?” Danny’s voice was steady, he clearly wanted confirmation.

Clockwork shifted into his old form and smiled condescendingly.

„I did not lie Daniel. If you become the king of all ghosts, as per your right.” Clockwork began flying closer to young Halfa. „You will have enough power and authority to bring her back.”

Danny looked at his mentor, at his grandfather. Danny looked at the time.

Truth was, Danny didn’t mourn Danielle, he went ahead and tried to find another way. That way turned out to be, for him to forsake his freedom, not just yet but eventually.

He glanced back at Clockwork who was still smiling.

„Shall we begin?” The question sounded like he had a choice.

Danny’s eyes glowed brighter.

„Yes.”

Another part of fanfiction selection:

->,,Regenerate, Fate” by Jellofello on ao3 - Mha piece where Izuku have regeneration, Shinsou is a youtuber and Aizawa is getting a headache every few hours

->,,The Liar’s sin” by Yvette_Kaitou_1412 on ao3 - Not my usual one but this Miraculous x Hazbin Hotel x Helluva Boss crossover makes for one interesting plot and story building. Or: Lila send Marinette to hell

->,,you will find me, friend series” by Ausp_ice on ao3 - Genshin works that explore the idea of the Traveler being immortal world-eaters and their abilities

-> ,,Son of Sea Foam” by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle on ao3 - PJO and a brilliant take on forbidden children where Percy needs to hide that he is son of Poseidon but needs to be claimed

->,,Sunbeams and Seafoam series” by ShadeCrawler on ao3 - PJO scenario where Apollo ’adopts’ Percy

->,,To make a legend series” by WrdofWinters on ao3 - PJO series featuring some extended worldbuilding in Greek traditions and merpeople exploration

->,,The One where Percy is a Magician of Questionable Competence” series by Rynna_Aurelius on ao3- Sally dies, Percy is adopted by one Amos Kane it goes as well as you might think

->,,Grandfather’s day” by WardofWinters on ao3 - Fates lost a bet, Percy and Thalia are whisk away to meet their grandfather ( Kronos) once a year

->,,Pray to the king, the protector,the murderer (Pray to time)” by WardofWinters on ao3 - only 3 chapters for now but Percy prays to Kronos to help him kill Gabe… it goes not exactly as planned

->,,Never Goodbye (Just till next time)” by Feliadox on ao3 - Ninjago time travel

-> ,,What Makes a Gothamite" by: Dragonfly_Dream on ao3 - Neal Caffrey(White collar) is actually 'Dick' Grayson and consequently have some gotham quirks to show for it (People are messed with)

->,,Brother in arms” by SteamGeek01 on fanfiction net - bloody but brilliant HP x Creepypastas crossover that actually work

->,,Of basketball and kitsune tails” by wolfshaman84 on ao3 - Kuroko no Basuke piece with Kuroko as Kitsune

-> ,,Neal, How Do You Know. . .?” by Velvet_Pumpkin on ao3 - Neal Caffrey in Dick Grayson and that leads to him knowing a lot of people and a lot of things/skills he shouldn't

->,,Ouroboros” by NovusArs on ao3 - Harry Potter was and is Salazar Slytherin, interesting take on that trope there

->,,Trolls vs Wizards” by Reuben_Aloway on ao3 - The one where Troll Hunter meets HP and Sirius Black is a father and an idiot

->,,Nameless God, Nameless People” by Literally_To_Die_For on ao3 - Honkai Star Rail take on Trailblazer is connected to Akivili and experiences his memories

->,,The Hunter” by Adishailan on ao3 -AOT piece where Eren is a titan

->,,The Shit Eren Does” by fluffykitty12 on ao3 - AOT cultural differences shenanigans

->,,You Look Like You’ve Seen A Ghost” by ShootingFromAfar on ao3 -Dpxdc Jason know Danny from his dead times

-> ,,Coffee Grounds Series” by orphan_account and widdlewed on ao3 - is a series where Richard is former Talon, have a coffee shop and scares the rouges with 'no fighting' rule

->,,Dick Grayson: A Case Study" by: writersagainstwritersblock on ao3 - Richard is in a team of profilers it leads to discovery of many, many layers

->,,Danny the Intern by”: NikkiPond - DPXDC where Danny is an intern at Wayne Enterprise and there are only four rules to keep him employed, naturally chaos ensues

-> ,,Yesterday Upon The Stair” by: PitViperOfDoom - MHA and a classic at this point, Izuku can see ghosts

->,,Connection series” by: LiterallyThePresident - Bakugan series that is slightly terrifying in its implications and the only Bakugan fanfic that grabbed me and refused to go

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?