If We Consider The Angle Of Magic And Curses, Marriage Would Be A Bonding Ritual So Yes, It Technically

how to explain to mutuals that while yes you can have my discord, and i wanna hang out! my response time is anywhere between 3-7 business days

You were supposed to be normal

DPxDC

Danny was adopted by the Wayne’s and they all thought he was a civilian in a bad home situation who got along with the family nicely. Danny knew full well that they were the Batclan of Gotham but he is enjoying being a regular teenager to much to care. The Bats thought they were going a perfect job with keeping their new family members in the dark about their nightly activities. They weren’t expecting to see Danny get flung through a wall at the beginning of dinner by a robot with a flaming green mohawk. They also weren’t expecting Danny to get up like nothing happened and launch himself at the attacker. And least of all they weren’t expecting Danny to win the fight.

People have been asking for more of this ^^ so here you go, have a really long word vomit of stuff i think is funny

(IM NOT WRITING THIS FIC GDI I HAVE ENOUGH WIP’S!)

Danny’s restaurant is ALSO manned by-

Tucker, who will fix your tech for free, has tattoos of hieroglyphics and lines of code that shift around when he gets busy.

Sam, who makes an express line for veggie orders. If you try to order meat from sam all the potted plants start trembling.

Jazz, who has a special booth in the back and Magically makes people dump their deepest secrets to her in streamlined Liminal Powers Therapy. (It’s a bit weird but hey the people she targets feel better so whatevs.)

Dani, who shares pictures from tourist traps she's visited, though there’s also some REALLY WEIRD pics of alternate realities and cult shenanigans mixed in. Some of the older patrons are concerned. She’s a little too young to do all this alone- actually, how old is she? Her father looks like he’s in his early twenties…

Dan, who is working here while “on parole” and often loudly argues with Danny about it.

“I don’t want to work in your stupid shop, Dad!”

Dan is two whole feet taller than danny and three times as wide i will not be taking constructive criticism. He’s a whole silver fox. There are some ladies who have a crush on him and they’re really concerned if he’s legal bc danny is younger than them how is Dan his child-

“Dan, how old are you?”

“I don’t know, like, a hundred sixty something?”

(Lady turns to look at Danny, who shrugs and smiles.) “time dilation. What a world we live in. Dan, kiddo, can you get some more napkins from the back?”

“Ugh, fine, dad.”

The first villain Danny ACTUALLY fights isn’t the Joker-

It’s condiment king. Dan runs away from him, which is already weird bc guy is MASSIVE, and the condiment king chases him bc YES SOMEONE FINALLY FEARS HIM PROPERLY.

Danny bursts out of the shop in righteous fatherly fury and beats the snot out of him. Everyones is confused bc… what? Dan is massive? Why is he scared? Why is the twink beating the snot out of condiment king?

“Dan had a traumatic experience with Burger Sauce.” Danny explains, glaring down at the rouge at his feet. He kicks him, growls, “Don’t mess with my kid.” And walks back inside.

No one asks, bc this is gotham. Asking is rude, and also it lessens the Mystery that is Danny’s. No one knows how the kids came into existence. No one knows, before someone from out of town (metropolis, ugh) asks about the sign.

The sign outside the shop says:

Welcome to Danny’s!

Do no harm and no harm shall befall you.

Start nothing and nothing will be ended.

We have baseball bats and fists and a mean swing.

This establishment does not serve- guys in white (suits), Vlad, Transphobes, Vlad, Clowns, VLAD.

Do not ask for the secret menu. If you can get it, Danny will offer it.

(Don’t scare the other customers, please.)

When asked who Vlad is, bc he’s banned three times, Danny just kind of sighs.

“He’s my kid's other parent. He’s an obsessive creep who completely ignores Danielle because she’s a girl, rolling in money but won’t pay his child support. You know how it is.”

Several goons ask what he looks like so they can keep an eye out. Dani happily tells them “look at Dan, take away Dad’s features, then convert 30% of his height and weight into smarminess.”

It's an effective description. Vlad gets full body tackled the moment he enters the neighborhood. Danny gives the goons free fudge (family recipe, one of the restaurants signatures)

Theres a deal that’s just, “beat danny in a fight you eat for free.”

The deal extends to both Dan and Dani as well. Even if you lose you get fudge as a reward for courage.

No one ever wins.

One time, a couple brought their kid, recently discharged from the hospital. Danny comes over to them and grins. “Hey, kiddo! Bet you gave your parents a scare, huh? Pulled through in the end. That means you get the secret menu!”

Parents: hey wtf?

Danny, handing over a perfectly normal menu: 😀

Kid: “ooh mommy look at the glowy stars!”

Parents: !?!?!?

Danny: 😁

Old man Dave, whose heart has stopped like three times now: “Oh don’t worry about that, prices are the same and it will help your kid feel much better. Danny’s just a little weird.”

After all, it’s not just full ghosts that get the menu. If you’ve been dead, heart stopped, soul out of body before being popped back into place, then you get it. There’s actually a pretty high number of people who get it, bc this is Gotham. People get resuscitated after rogue attacks. The ecto actually helps stabilize their soul after getting jerked between life and death so rudely.

The secret menu that they’re given is just a normal menu, scribbled over top with an ecto pen, invisible to non-secret menu havers. Different “ecto-levels” to choose from, and three extra dishes. There’s also instructions to get into the “back room” for those who can’t go intangible, though it comes with a disclaimer “not for the faint of heart.”

There’s also a small note at the bottom- “do not share food.”

Anyways, as per original post. Tim herds Joker into Danny’s radar bc he Cannot Deal Right Now. He salutes Danny, who waves back, grinning like he didn’t just come at the Clown Prince of Crime like a feral badger on crack cocaine. “Heya, Red Robin! You want a coffee?”

“Please.” Tim sighs. “You’re the best, Danny.”

Jason looks between tim and the shop danny just vanished into. “Uh, what?”

“Danny doesn’t like clowns.” Tim explains. “Or condiment king. They get close, Danny takes them out.”

Jason is incredibly confused, bc he just came back from an out of town mission, but this place is right on the edge of his territory and he should definitely know about it. He asks tim, who just shrugs.

“That shop is weird. It’s like a grocery store at 3am. I stumbled in there after a rough night and Danny just whipped me up the best coffee i've ever had. Still can’t find their website. I swear it’s bigger on the inside and the door keeps swapping from one side of that fire hydrant to the other.”

Danny comes out and passes Tim a massive coffee cup. “Come back and talk shop with tucker, okay? You’re welcome any time. Both of you, actually.”

He gives Jason a weird look and then goes back inside.

Jason, who is a little concerned that the reverence tim has is more than his average weird worship of coffee (it's just that good) goes back the next day in civvies.

He gets offered the secret menu, danny does the eye thing, Jason retreats to look at the secret menu. Unsure of what just happened, he texts tim.

Jason: Why was i given a “secret menu”

Tim: WTF WHAT DID YOU DO TO GET THAT

Jason: IDK THATS WHY IM TEXTING YOU

tim: I'VE BEEN GOING FOR MONTHS I’M A LOYAL PATRON WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT I DONT

Jason: the secret menu apparently (image)

Tim: …thats just the normal menu???

Jason: no? It looks like a kid went ham with a neon green marker tf?

Duke: you know this is the family chat right?

Steph: order the waffles

Jason: you order the waffles. Wtf is an ecto-level.

Jason asks for what danny recommends, Danny immediately gives him a milkshake and tells him it's on the house bc he “looks rough.”

Jason is kind if offended, bc he actually got a decent sleep- but then he tries it and its like.

Oh.

Now. Between the stink Tim is making, and the sudden worship that Jason has of this shops milkshakes, the BatFamily is now Curious and will Investigate.

Are the milkshakes really that good?

The full force of the Wayne Family™ isn’t exactly subtle, so they go in twos and threes over the course of a week.

Damian gets offered the secret menu, and is also directed towards Sam’s express vegetarian line. Danny just Knew. Damian accuses Tim and/or Jason of pulling a prank on him, but they both swear up and down they didn’t say anything.

Both Steph (i think? Did she fake her death or actually die idk) and Cass get the secret menu, and they keep trying to ask Tim what certain things on the menu mean. Tim Cannot See what they’re talking about. He’s starting to get frustrated. Is it some sort of magic spell?

Tim takes Kon to Danny’s. (Is it a date? A test date on a low-stakes investigation? Maybe.) Danny, who is really starting to enjoy messing with Tim, gleefully offers Kon the secret menu, and Tim the normal one. Tim bangs his head on the table.

Dick doesn’t get a secret menu, but he does notice a couple disappear through the wall. He’s almost certain he’s seen them before, but it will be a while before he remembers Kitty and Johnny from his early Robin Days.

Duke is also not offered a secret menu, but he can see the writing anyways. He can also see that some of the patrons have weird auras, and what on EARTH is up with Danny himself? He tries to ignore it, up until Steph gets him to order one of the specials off Cass’s (secret) menu. And Danny just kind of sharpens, the air going cold.

“I didn’t give you that menu. Just because you can read it, doesn’t mean you want it. Order off the right menu, please.”

Duke, freaked the hell out by the Biblically Accurate Horror that Danny is shifting into, orders off the right menu and apologizes.

“Oh, it’s alright!” Danny flips back to cheerful in seconds. “It’s just that it wouldn’t be completely healthy for you to eat it, even if you are part immortal.”

Duke bluescreens.

Alright, somethings definitely going on.

Tim and Jason both order the same thing- an oreo milkshake, one off the secret menu, one off the normal menu. Jason confirms the one from the normal menu does not taste the same and isn’t as good. Tim cannot confirm the other way around, because Jason nearly punches him when he attempts to taste it.

They take samples home, analyze them, and go over anecdotes from other patrons, trying to figure out what makes Danny’s so weird. What makes Kon, Cass, Jason, and Damian different?

Wait a second. Kon, Cass, Jason, Damian. The ones that died and came back to life.

It’s around this time that Dick remembers where he’s seen Kitty and Johnny before. Lovers from two houses, both alike in (in)dignity, had a romeo-and-juliet-esque escapade across Gotham, ending in high speed chase with Kitty’s gangster father and a fatal motorcycle accident. Both are dead. Both are in Danny’s.

Danny’s has something to do with death.

Having heard a couple stories about food of the dead, they notify Bruce (who is very concerned as to what exactly his children have been putting in their mouths) and then call in the magic users of the justice league.

It’s a mess. Dan calls Constantine a whore. Deadman and Secret (i think thats Tim’s ghost friend?) get abducted to the backroom. Dani clocks Capt. Marvel as another kid who looks older than he actually is, with magic powers, and his showing him her REALLY interesting travel photos. Zatanna is like “this place needs an exorcism” and danny just goes “ma’am please don’t exorcize my customers.”

Tag list (if you saw me attempt this before no you didn’t)

@nappinginhell @apointlessbox @thegatorsgoose @chaos-n-kindness @mimilikey @phoenixdemonqueen @treepainting @sjrose1216 @akikkobara @malice-of-the-sunrise @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @randomkiddoscrewingaround @call-me-strega @blankliferain @somera-rubina @wordsgohere95 @rukiaai @mirellacoco @stargazing-bookwyrm @bathildaburp @littlefeather345

Another part of fanfiction selection:

->,,Regenerate, Fate” by Jellofello on ao3 - Mha piece where Izuku have regeneration, Shinsou is a youtuber and Aizawa is getting a headache every few hours

->,,The Liar’s sin” by Yvette_Kaitou_1412 on ao3 - Not my usual one but this Miraculous x Hazbin Hotel x Helluva Boss crossover makes for one interesting plot and story building. Or: Lila send Marinette to hell

->,,you will find me, friend series” by Ausp_ice on ao3 - Genshin works that explore the idea of the Traveler being immortal world-eaters and their abilities

-> ,,Son of Sea Foam” by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle on ao3 - PJO and a brilliant take on forbidden children where Percy needs to hide that he is son of Poseidon but needs to be claimed

->,,Sunbeams and Seafoam series” by ShadeCrawler on ao3 - PJO scenario where Apollo ’adopts’ Percy

->,,To make a legend series” by WrdofWinters on ao3 - PJO series featuring some extended worldbuilding in Greek traditions and merpeople exploration

->,,The One where Percy is a Magician of Questionable Competence” series by Rynna_Aurelius on ao3- Sally dies, Percy is adopted by one Amos Kane it goes as well as you might think

->,,Grandfather’s day” by WardofWinters on ao3 - Fates lost a bet, Percy and Thalia are whisk away to meet their grandfather ( Kronos) once a year

->,,Pray to the king, the protector,the murderer (Pray to time)” by WardofWinters on ao3 - only 3 chapters for now but Percy prays to Kronos to help him kill Gabe… it goes not exactly as planned

->,,Never Goodbye (Just till next time)” by Feliadox on ao3 - Ninjago time travel

-> ,,What Makes a Gothamite" by: Dragonfly_Dream on ao3 - Neal Caffrey(White collar) is actually 'Dick' Grayson and consequently have some gotham quirks to show for it (People are messed with)

->,,Brother in arms” by SteamGeek01 on fanfiction net - bloody but brilliant HP x Creepypastas crossover that actually work

->,,Of basketball and kitsune tails” by wolfshaman84 on ao3 - Kuroko no Basuke piece with Kuroko as Kitsune

-> ,,Neal, How Do You Know. . .?” by Velvet_Pumpkin on ao3 - Neal Caffrey in Dick Grayson and that leads to him knowing a lot of people and a lot of things/skills he shouldn't

->,,Ouroboros” by NovusArs on ao3 - Harry Potter was and is Salazar Slytherin, interesting take on that trope there

->,,Trolls vs Wizards” by Reuben_Aloway on ao3 - The one where Troll Hunter meets HP and Sirius Black is a father and an idiot

->,,Nameless God, Nameless People” by Literally_To_Die_For on ao3 - Honkai Star Rail take on Trailblazer is connected to Akivili and experiences his memories

->,,The Hunter” by Adishailan on ao3 -AOT piece where Eren is a titan

->,,The Shit Eren Does” by fluffykitty12 on ao3 - AOT cultural differences shenanigans

->,,You Look Like You’ve Seen A Ghost” by ShootingFromAfar on ao3 -Dpxdc Jason know Danny from his dead times

-> ,,Coffee Grounds Series” by orphan_account and widdlewed on ao3 - is a series where Richard is former Talon, have a coffee shop and scares the rouges with 'no fighting' rule

->,,Dick Grayson: A Case Study" by: writersagainstwritersblock on ao3 - Richard is in a team of profilers it leads to discovery of many, many layers

->,,Danny the Intern by”: NikkiPond - DPXDC where Danny is an intern at Wayne Enterprise and there are only four rules to keep him employed, naturally chaos ensues

-> ,,Yesterday Upon The Stair” by: PitViperOfDoom - MHA and a classic at this point, Izuku can see ghosts

->,,Connection series” by: LiterallyThePresident - Bakugan series that is slightly terrifying in its implications and the only Bakugan fanfic that grabbed me and refused to go

A selection of few fanfics:

->„Yuu and the power of magic”, by writingerror on ao3- this one is Twisted wonderland x Harry Potter

->Ghost in NYC series by AsharksReadingGlasses on ao3 - DPxMarvel

-> The Ghost of Heroes by Enigmaris, ScarletNightFury - DPXMarvel gem

->For the want of the nail series by Clouds(myheadisinthecloudsnotcomingdown) on ao3 -MHA

->Yesterday upon the stair by PitViperOfDoom on ao3 - another mha, this one is a classic

-> Distorted Reality by Ogro on fanfiction net - Avatar one haven’t read it in the entirety but is seems very good and interesting

-> Can’t remember to forget you by ECLIPSEWXTCH on ao3 - Black Phone time travel (kinda)

->Harry Potter and the greatest show by shadowscribe on ao3 - Hp time travel

->Of Timelines and Trolleys by HallucinateOnPaperSpines on ao3 - Transformers fic with some delicious reality warping and horror elements

->Manor-Dad let’s me drive the Batmobile by lostletters (loosingletters) on ao3 - DC or a lot of BatFam shinenagans

->A Robin’s Nest by SilvermistAnimeLover on ao3 - Izuku Midoriya is Richard Grayson, sadly only 10 chapters

->Fighting with fear by Turacin on ao3 - S classes that I raised

->The Lives worth saving on ao3 or ff net - Naruto gem that was never finished but many people try so there are few versions floating around

->The Ghost of Heroes by Enigmaris, ScarletNightFury on ao3 - wonderful DP x Marvel piece

->I’m just a mob! By Williamcipher on ao3- Katekyo hitman reborn transmigration situation

->That time I got reincarnated as a doomed side character by Gantrychild on ao3 - MHA transmigration situation

->Ectoplasmic Educational Employment(Quirky Danny Fenton The Teacher? More likely than you think!) by GothMoth on ao3 - Danny Phantom hilarious fic

->Samsara by luccisworks on ao3 - Merlin, reunion after centuries trope

->Samsara by Shivani on ao3 - Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Tsuna dying and coming back again and again and ag…

Danny the tiktok star

DPxDC au

So Danny, as any high school teen would do, makes videos on the latest video sharing social media site. In this case that's tiktok, although if we look at the time that Danny Phantom came out Vine might be more appropriate...

Either way, he makes silly little videos that range from funny jokes, A Day in the Life at Casper High, Space Fact Friday, POV: You live in Amity Park, roasting whatever ghost happens to be attacking that day, ect. He gains a small following of people who like his content but it's nowhere near being able at call himself tiktok famous. Until one post...

"Hello, my name is Danny, and this is my Official Application for Bruce Wayne to adopt me"

He jokes about how he is a young teen male with black hair, blue eyes, and a questionable home life which makes him the perfect candidate for a Bruce Wayne adoptee. The video goes viral so Danny leans into the bit and starts making more of that content. Photoshoping myself into a Wayne family photo, What I would wear to a Wayne gala, Taking a 'Which Wayne Are You' quiz.

When the Wayne kids find his account they think it's hilarious and keep an eye for new posts from him. One day Tim is stuck in a boring WE meeting so when he gets a notification that Danny posted a new video he will gladly take the distraction. He wasn't expect what he would find...

The video opens with the camera facing Danny, but he's not in any of his usual filming locations. It's hard to tell what exactly is happening around him but there's shouting in the distance and the sound of sirens. In fact, it looks as if Danny is leaning against an ambulance. Danny looks unusually pale and has what looks like a shock blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The camera is shakey and when he speaks his voice comes out weak.

"Hey guys... It's Danny. You know how I joke a lot about being adopted by Bruce Wayne?..."

Danny pauses and takes a shakey breath. It seems like he loses his grip on the phone for a moment because the camera fumbles before being held upright again. It's not a great view, but viewers can catch a glimpse of a destroyed building in the background, firefighters still working to get all the flames doused. When Danny starts speaking again he seems to choke on the words.

"W-Well, something happened and.. I'm k-kinda and orphan now? So uh..." Danny gives a small sad sounding chuckle that fades into a light cough, "this is my official application for Bruce Wayne to adopt me. Internet, do your thing..."

The video ends.

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

When I was a child, every well-meaning adult with a nine-to-five soul and a dried-up imagination told me that being a writer wasn’t a “real job.”

“You’re just a little girl with big words,” they said. “Books don’t pay the bills.”

As if paying bills was the most thrilling thing a person could live for.

I never understood why grown-ups were so committed to shoving a fire extinguisher down the throat of a kid who just wanted to tell stories.

I kept wondering, why is it so threatening for a little girl to believe her words could matter?

Now I know why.

Because they never had a dream of their own.

And when you’ve never had one or gave yours up a long time ago, it’s easier to mock someone else’s.

It’s easier to roll your eyes at someone chasing stars when you’ve chosen to stay face-down in the dirt.

And still… I write. Not because I was told I couldn’t. But because I had to.

Because I promised that little girl I’d keep going, even when it hurt. Especially when it hurt.

Among Us AU Idea

It’ s 2076 the technology is really advanced, to the point people can use a special devices, normally designed as bracelets, earrings, necklaces, pins and all variants of other accessories. Devices allows people to play a game in real life, swapping their body with the different one made out of special codes (think “World Trigger” trion bodies, just made out of the newest generation codes) , that can be personalized just as avatars in a game(based on one color obviously, but with different shades and accessories). This body is also allowing them to do things, they normally wouldn’t be able to do.  With devices, they can also summon variety of weapons and are able to see and do things that are allowed only to people participating in the game. Such as tasks at checkpoints, that are create with bigger versions of their portable devices. They also have a special eye - ear part device that connects them with chat and shows them any system announcements, and a map… we don’t want new and/or out of city players to get lost. These came in glass – like shape or in one – eye glass option.

  The game is set up in a city and depending on how many people are playing the one area in the city becomes their map. In bigger cites there are more areas, but depending on how big is the playing group, they game can take, one, two or even four areas in the city. ( Personally I think at same point there were this big “player unite” thing, where the whole city was the map. But that’s happening like once every three month. It’s difficult to synchronize game time.) All players have accounts, some choose to be anonymous, others don’t, they are beating scores and gathering points being future versions of today streamers.

As for the rules, there is a big difference, because we are not playing on a ship there are two options. First, find out who is the impostor and lure them to checkpoint where you can trap them for the rest of the game, or at least as long as no other impostor will find them. Or second option, eliminate them, because that actually is the option in this game. Crewmates can kill, the downfall being the fact that, differently from impostors, they don’t have to. So it can make them suspicious. When someone get’s slayed the information is automatically send as an announcement. Finding a body in the city would be a nightmare, especially since the “dead player” is not dead, but if he/she will get slayed, the red or black “X” will appear on their back and front suite side. And the points are claimed by the killer. The slayed person have to stay within 100 meters radius from the place their got slayed. And of course all communication options are being turned down.

Okay, but what is the difference between impostors and crewmates than? Impostors don’t have tasks to do in checkpoints. In one area there are eight checkpoints, depends o how many players participate, the number of activated checkpoints is higher or lower. However there is always one checkpoint that is inactive, and impostors never can tell witch one. That way they can be discovered. They can however use “shortcuts”, teleportation devices, spread all around the city. This, they can do thanks to their special “impostor code” within their body. They can also see who the other impostor(s) are. All players have the same pupils within their eyes. A simple circle with little star(or different shape) in the center, impostors circle are full at the bottom. For crewmates there are no difference but impostors are finding each- other with ease. They can also see where are other players on their map, while crewmates are limited to players literally five meters from them and if impostor will find another one of his kind, they can talk with the intercoms. Normally intercoms are available to use only for few minutes after someone is slayed to check where everyone are.

 The tasks are obviously iconic : swapping the card, connecting wires or checking the switches to lights. The game never stops after all, and some people prefer to play at night. But also downloading data, checking shields on checkpoints, unlocking variety of different cryptic messages and even solving some riddles, or puzzles (music ones included). Some scans, really similar to the med-bay scans and if you personalize your tasks settings even baking or dancing in something similar to “just dance” and let’s not forget about karaoke task.

  What else? Obviously more available colors to use, more operation options, since now the game is happening in actual real world and players can talk one to another if they meet up. And as for question about what else can be seen with eye piece, in different game modes, players statistics, the names of places, checkpoints and game participants nicks. Also, already mentioned, chat and map – obviously, announcements, checkpoint screens and all the messages from players and tasks.

Dead Language Expert

Danny never thought that he could "major" in languages, and get a job as a translator. But apparently knowing all the dead languages ​​by default and being able to time travel with the help of your ghost tutor was pretty useful outside of Amity.

It happened purely by chance, he was walking through a museum and started laughing because of a mistake in one of the sentences that completely changed the meaning of the text. The museum manager, of course, did not believe him, since many people had said that the piece was "impossible to translate". But he study it anyway.

Days later they were looking for him to translate all the things from that time. And he just carried on with it, in many more civilizations. In some cases he even asked for a few trips to the past to Clockwork to verify.

It got to a point where the wizards, heroes and villains over the world knew him as "the translator of dead languages" and some of them even tried to kidnap him to perform a summoning ritual. Danny rolled his eyes and easily freed himself, but the League assigned him an "escort" anyway.

Exasperated, the halfa escaped from his escorts and continued his work as normal. Superman almost fell out of his chair at the Watchtower meeting when he was informed that the boy had translated the language of Krypton and other missing planets. Besides having managed to lose both the Flash and Green Latern, what the fuck?