Straight People Are So Fascinating Even When They Aren't Actively Trying To Be Homophobic. I Had A Class

straight people are so fascinating even when they aren't actively trying to be homophobic. I had a class a few years ago where one assignment was to summarize some eighth century arabic poetry about going out for drinks with the lads before indulging in some gay sex and like half the class came in and said "I'm sorry idk what was happening in this one, they mention having sex with a servant but they also say the servant's a man? where'd the woman come from? I'm so confused." and a few days ago in a shakespeare class I made a comment about how cleopatra and octavius caesar are kind of parallel characters in possessively bartering for mark antony's attention and one of my classmates responded as though I'd been talking about octavia and not caesar, despite the fact that I said "caesar" and "him" multiple times while describing the actions he specifically took. fully incapable of comprehending of anything that's even a little bit gay.

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4 months ago

"How did you get defeated by a baguette"

Has to be the best thing I've read recently

Little idea wiggling about in my brain...

So like *holds Danny and Billy up by the scruff of their shirts* these two bastards won't leave my brain, and for punishment I will make them kiss...

Just, the Rock of eternity technically is Shazam's (the wizards) haunt? He has been dead for a long time, living only though his champion, what if Ghost King Danny gets slapped with a post it note that reads like

"Daniel, you're required to assist the Champion of Magic as the High King of the Realms, even Pariah helped the previous Champion Black Adam."

And Danny is like, "Sure, why not, Magic is real and so are ghosts."

And like....

Sparky Danny meeting Literal Sun Beam Billy, they are both 14, it's puppy love at its finest. Danny doesn't know what to do with gay panic and Billy is just straight up "This man is my soul mate, he shall be mine." (Call iy Zeus bestowing more than just lightning)

The leauge is very concerned why Captain Marvel seems to have a seeming underage partner.

Superman squinting very hard and trying to figure this out: So...just how old is Phantom?

Billy, unaware how bad this looks: Oh I don't know honestly, it's kinda hard to tell with beings from the Realms! Though he died when he was 14!

Superman, gripping the table (which cracks a little) :And how exactly long has he been 14?

Billy, taking out his phone and flipping out pictures: Like I said, I don't really know how old he is, but there is Egyptain hieroglyphics of him! Look!

Superman, blinking at the very real looking pictures: Ahh. Fun cool cool cool...a-and how are you again Cap?

Billy mindlessly swiping the photos, excited to show off his boyfriend:Never said it, but he is definitely older than I am.

(Danny is older by a month, Billy calls him an old man for it.)

Billy gets to live full time in Danny's haunt in the Zone, Danny built him like the best house, Tucker and Sam get to meet Billy and they just are flabbergasted that Danny "I can't get a girl to date me or else she ends up wanting to kill me" Fenton has a boyfriend that has been going steady for a few months.

My brain sees like, Maddie and Jack are 100% backing Danny, they are fully supportive of their bi/gay/pan son, but in no way would they support him if he was a ghost, like they are organizing Amitys first ever Pride parade, but there is a shoot ghosts on sight order.

And just the reveal is like...

Danny gets finally tells them he is a ghost: if you start shooting me, your shooting the only Gay person you know, not very ally of you mom and Dad.

Maddie mouth open in horror: Oh no...Jack are...are we homophobic?

Jack sharing her look of fear: Great Scott...Dann-o a-are you sure...its...it's a life style right? Y-you chose this?

Danny, trying very, very hard not to laugh: It's not a life style dad! I didn't choose to Die!

Anyway, thank you for coming to my brain word vomit, I haven't slept in 20 hours.


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2 months ago

pretentious moment incoming but why is everyone's idea of fashion so fucking boring these days. why the fuck did my manager just ask me "what's with the scarf". "what's with the scarf" fuck man do I need a reason to wear a faggy little scarf now? you could just say "nice scarf man". what's with your attitude

2 months ago

The Fae that trapped you in a Groundhog Day-style time loop is extremely frustrated that you’re taking advantage of the situation to just sleep all day, every day.

1 month ago

What if Fyodor was in an asylum and Nikolai used magic to turn into a sparrow so he could visit him during his outside time and keep him from being bored.

What If Fyodor Was In An Asylum And Nikolai Used Magic To Turn Into A Sparrow So He Could Visit Him During

He puts on shows for him.

3 months ago

“Tumblr is a bad platform for content creators” frankly, content around here isn’t so much created as perpetrated. We commit content.

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nomaru666 - Nomaru
Nomaru

life be that tea cup ride and I'm riding in it with lunatics 🩵

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